Phase Out Phase In

It's Monday the beginning of the last week I will be here at the s n f dollar I'm actually quite surprised that I am beginning to have some feelings perhaps bordering on sadness at having to leave this place which has acted as my home for the last 100 days or so. It is very easy to begin to think of this place as home. The place where I get my meals, my physical workouts and even some socialization. Sometimes I wonder if I am too complacent are you accepting of things that happened to me. I guess I just roll with the punches and see what happens for the most part feeling there's nothing else I can do. I do not know how healthy that is but overall this behavior has gotten me this far in my life.


I have made some good friends while here, I do not know how good they are , but they are friends. Friends made from the staff as well as other residents here at cascades. Folks that you look forward to having a meal with and feeling concerned when they are not present.  In all honestly I must confess that I have been somewhat reticent in developing relationships due to the fluidity of people here at the SNF. It seems most folks are here for just a few days or weeks at the most. Butof ten I have been drug into conversations (somewhat against my will) to find a totally interesting person. Someone whom I truly would like to know better in a different world, w world away  from the SNF.  I have collected emails, addresses and looked up phone numbers but have yet got no further then sending "first contact" emails. One fellow is a resident of Montana and the other is 90 year lad,who is living independently here in salt lake city, way up in the East sida. A pilot, skier and engineer-he was skiing a month and a half ago--I have seen the video. I don't know why I have not contacted him yet to see how he has transitioned back into his home and life. I think I may be afraid that he will have forgotten me.

I like to think that the professional staff for remember me after I leave but really I know better than that. I am just the meat, that thing that reason that piece of work to put meat on their tables to make sure the cars are paid for as are the condos in town houses. This is cool I don't have a problem with this I understand. Its not like I had a relationship with every phone call that I took when I was managing Access Utah Network , I remember the PTS I have at University Hospital last year and the year before and I doubt that I would say were friends with the exception of one or two. Overall I smile at them when I see them in the hall R in the physical therapy room at University Hospital. I must admit that one of the Fox my wound specialist is a member of a band that Dianne and I have gone to watch perform and we friended him on Facebook and I like the things were more than just a passing appointment.
Then there is Amanda my occupational therapist who I think we have made a special bond, I really think we have but that's as far as it will go and perhaps that's best what would you do with that many friends holy cow really?

I am moving on, I have just about completed this phase of my life, if that's all it is a phase. I'm anxious and almost excited to move to the next phase I'm a little spooked but that's okay and I would be stupid if I was not. and of course I will keep you all informed as I go.