I Am So Defeated

I have been trying to post the new newsletter all nigt and none of my equipment is working. My zip drives arenot reading, my new computer doesnot have the correct software and I am exhausted! The newletter should be posted on the first and it is already the first on the East Coast I am going to crash and hope for better things tomorrow. BTW thanks for the email Shell I love you.

Wheelchair Bumping

More and more people with disabilities, who use wheelchairs for mobility, in this area are beginning to use the light rail system for a transportation in this area. This is good and bad. Good in the sense that everyone should use public transportation. Public transportation works or many people in the Salt Lake area, it’s inexpensive, dependable and many times convenient and best of all public transportation in this area Utah Transit Authority(UTA) is accessible to people with disabilities. Now the big drawback to all this wonderful transportation is that more and more people in wheelchairs are finding their ways to a Trax station. People who have been so mistreated by UTA’s Para Transit system they are willing to risk everything and try the regular transit system. This is very good! I won’t go into why this is good because I never know who reads this blog, and I could say something which might get me in to big trouble. So suffice it to say that it’s great when someone finally takes the push and gets out of para-transit hell and decides to Ride the real system The problem is the main line system, in my estimation and Trax in particular is seriously under build to serve the number of folks who whish to ride the system. I have touched on this issue in other blog entries. Anyway, yesterday was a typical day on Trax. I get on and there are three other power chairs on the train. We dance our ways into a seating arrangement that allows all of us to ride. The next stop the “dragon lady” boards. Dragon Lady is a women who has some sort of hidden disability and has managed to get her “disability pass” she walks dragging (dragon) a wheeled basket. She is kind of spooky and she is very demanding(until you get to know her), assertive (Dragon) in asking for a forwarding facing seat. There are actually a number of the able bodied riders who are quite frightened of her. There are all blog entries for another time. So Dragon Lady comes on board and then at the next stop another power chair squeezes on. The next stop ANOTHER chairs its. The driver opens the door and lowers the bridge-plate but there is no way this guy is riding this train. The guy finally backs back on to the platform and waves the train forward indicating he will wait for the next train twenty minutes later. The driver “buttons” the train up and zips away. I cannot believe the crip let that happen! I wouldn’t, I would have turned my chair on high and plowed in. UTA should not be able to get away with this—they should have to be responsible to people they “bump” just like the airlines. I was thinking UTA should provide at least month pass to someone they “bump”. Providing some sort of compensation would kill the Authority and perhaps urge the Authority forward to remedy this unfair system. Three bumps in a month and the poor consumer should get free transit for a year.

Scenes from the Fam Reunion

wind

unk

fam2


bro

There and Back Again

The day began, as a beautiful family reunion day should warm, and blue skies and general chaos. We slept in and were running late but we swung and picked up Ani and were South Bound There was a little bit of drama with the wheelchair lift but we got loaded and were south bound. Most everyone was there except Linda who had a cruised or something. Chaos was at a minimum and visiting was going well. We down loaded and the fam seemed pleased to see us. There were two cousins who made it from then Seattle area. Bruce and Raymond. They are both older then me but I was quite taken with them the first I had ever met them back in the sixties. They were too cool—skateboard riding beach boy clones. The years had been cruel to them as I but were good to see them. Aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters were all there. Hot dogs, corn dog’s potato salad and pop. I have images to hare but I cannot locate the camera, which worries me a bit, but I am sure the camera is here somewhere. Mom tried to gain control of the event but was difficult but he managed to have a kid auction when, surprisingly went over well once the kids understood what they were supposed to do. Mom brought a box full of nick knacks: old yo-yos, assorted toys, hopscotch marker, bag of marbles; things, which collect in drawer over a lifetime. The kids bid with change collected from the grown up before the event started, 25 cents was the high limit. The little guys really thought it was cool. I was genuinely surprised. Everyone was impressed with my new power chair. I did my best not to go into my diatribe about how much the chair failed me in the speed department. They would not understand. They never have I doubt they would now.

Storms blue in like clockwork. Three hammered the event while we were there. Black menacing clouds fire microburst after microburst accompanied with rain driven my winds coming in under the pavilion SIDEWAYS at times. Tables were swept clean by the wind gusts, plastic containers were whirled away. This was following by clearing and heating only to be brushed away again two more times. After the last rainstorm, the fam decided to regroup at my mother home. Dianne’s back was killing her and we needed to get going. We made our goodbyes and finally took off about 3:30 ALMOST GETTING KILLED JUST ONCE! The semi I was following started to brake suddenly. Luckily, I still had my wits about me and I decelerated immediately when I saw the smoke billowing from his wheels. I remained alert for the rest of the journey home pondering the effect of what could have happened. We would have been fodder for the Fox News at nine and later at 10:00 for the other networks. We would also be a dark spot for all the rest of the reunions, which would follow. Well, Shelly just rang I better go. Check back tomorrow. I will try to get some images loaded.

The Perfect Storm

Remember way back when I got the word that there would be a family reunion this year? It’s tomorrow not in Boise, as feared, but in Santaquin which is great for us and many of the others who have traveled far for this experience. I have not heard anything more about the time of the events, nor has my brother who usually hears everything cause he is one of the Favs. This is weird—all things considered—the older bro called my mom last night but got quite a disjointed conversation. Realize this lady is 93 years old, she does have moments of confusion but is usually right on, especially for events like this she controls very well. The older girls, my sisters, Faye and Irene are already in town and have been for a couple of days now. No one has herd from them, this I think is very weird. I just called Mom and there was no response from her phone. I am hoping everything is all right but I am beginning to sense dark clouds of an emotional storm front moving in. I can understand not being able to contact Mom but having the older sisters not make contact seems fishy. I shall be keeping you all updated as to this emotional pressure system and of any stray lightening strikes.

It’s almost five, I am the only one in the office, again, this Friday night. My partner spooked out about 1:30m, then the reception split at 2:30. One of the part timers wondered in for an hour or so but has since vanished leaving me and my chair. I called the chair folks and the assured me I cannot get any further speed from the new chair but seemed interested that I am getting such poor mileage from the batteries. They are going to send someone out to check on the chair either tomorrow (which I doubt will happen due to the Fam reunion) or have someone come-out to the office sometime next week nd do the once over on the chair to see if indeed there is an electrical issue. I still may press to have a charge installed or find a small charger which I can carry on board. The techs are also going to check some of the other settings of the onboard computer to see what else might be done with the vehicle. I am not holding my breath. I am just going to have to live with what I have got, lots of torque and lower speed…life is a trade off.

I am really going to try to like this weekend even if the matriarch has decreed no grilling. There is talk of nothing but prepared food i.e. KFC, Pizza Hut or worse micro-waved hot dogs!! I would even put up with boiled dogs verses micro-waved dogs. Mom does not want- whoever gets saddled with cooking hotdogs and hamburgers- to be able to escape the close fami moments which might arise at this fam-fest. Tell you what, I would rather have food over talk anyday.

Welcome to light speed
The image above is a failed attempt to take a covert picture on the train into work. I was going to delete the image from the camera but the more I looked at the image the more the image grew on me. I could not delete it. In fact I have been thinking about the image all week and wanted a way or excuse to incorporate the image into my blog.

The first cinematic depiction of launching to light speed I can remember was in one of the Star Trek movies. The captain says “engage” and then you got the blurred effect of light and image being left behind this was so cool to me. Now, every science fiction TV and movie director uses the same effect—somewhat mundane but I always like the effect. So, I image now, I travel on this train which can travel at light speed. I board the train the doors shut and “whoosh” we engage and leave the light behind. Everyone of us on the train is hurtling along at light speed and I take the picture and get these effects…Its all good.

ONE THOUSAND WORDS

WJ+Caddy

I was fortunate to be able to spend sometime with one of my kids last night instant messaging (Iming). Walter James (WJ) is my writer as well as musician. He lives in Oregon with one of my other kids—Shelly and her husband. WJ IS 21 years old and is struggling with the world to carve his niche there in. Like any good, responsible writer—WJ has a day job making the payments of life as he can. He works at a Coffee Shop and does OK. He has a roof over his head, food in the fridge and a ride…a nice Caddy. One of the recurring discussions we have is how to keep focused writing. This can be a major challenge to anyone who is trying to establish himself or herself as any kind of a word smith: getting beyond the block. WJ shared with me that he has recently committed to writing 1000 words a day. He writes fiction and that’s cool and I’m impressed at his current output of content. He says he has been writing this volume for about two week. Wow! 14 thousand works. He is planning to have his novel hashed out in about three months if he can keep this schedule up. WJ writes in a two-hour block each day to produce his 1000 words. This is great. I wish I could do this. I may think about trying later on in the summer. I can make excuses of why I cannot not, the most obvious is time. I agree with WJ, let the words just flow get the 1000 words out and worry about editing at a later point in time i.e. rewrite. In this case quality will come after quantity. Still, the only time I do have to do such a project would be after the workday, when I am spent and burnt. There was talk at one time of coming in to work early and writing then—this was a major project that I was tying to get going with a writing guild I associate with. This has yet to materialize. Many days I am so exhausted following work that I just have to rest till bedtime. Weekends are taken up with home and fam responsibilities=excuses, EXCUSES, EXCUSES! This is what really scares me that I make all these stupid excuses…A WRTER WRITES, he does not make up uses. WJ does not and this really impressed me. Write On!

Change Is So Hard

OK, I have had the new Jazzy/Quantum 1121 almost five days now. I have forced myself to sit in the new chair, all day for three of those days. Imagine, if you well, a new pair of shoes or starting new physical regimen of one sort or another. Your body reacts: muscles are stretched and challenged and soreness results. This is true with a new wheelchair especially this chair. I have to relearn transfer techniques at the office as well as home. The ride in the Quantum compared to the 1120 is day and night. I see the analogy as riding a Caddy to an MGB—the Caddy will render comfort and ease where as the Quantum renders performance at the cost of physical comfort and convenience. The seat in the 1120 was huge and afforded me lots of storage space for books, back packs sweat shirts bottles etc. There is none of that ,naturally occurring on the Quantum—there are some options to consider but I have not really considered their exploitation as yet. I used to glide over cracks in the side walks, railroad tracks and the new chair jars my teeth out of my head doing the same and just keeping put in my Quantum is a challenge riding in the van, train and bus. The Quantum is much lighter. I used to be able to use the weight of the 1120 to safely brace against for transfers and cruising stability but not any more. I have to pay attention to everything from curbs to corners. This is OK though, just part of change. I have accepted the speed differential of the two chairs and can live with slower speed. I still get to where I am going. I’ll just have to get used to the lack of comfort this is life, a “free” chair, brand new, under warrenty I CAN CHANGE!!

Breaking up's Hard to Do

New

Buyers Remorse…Just a Little

Friday—the new Jazzy =Quantum 1121 arrived. This is the first brand-new power chair I have ever purchased. I hate buying stuff because I always have buyer’s remorse. You know the feeling you have knowing that you could have done better then finding out that there was something better just waiting round the corner. My decision and my insurance plopped down nearly $8,000.00 for this winner. It is sturdy and should hold up under the abuse I can reign down on the poor device. The appearance is OK a little more “institutional” looking then I would have liked but still looks “rugged”—lot of steel and rings at appropriate spots to use as tie-down and mounts for all kind of things. The real only real issue I have is the speed of the chair. Quantum is not nearly as swift as the old Jazzy. Mark and I raced them last night. The old Jazzy is definitely swifter. I may try to figure out a way to squeeze more speed from the little guy but I am OK with the speed Quantum will render. I can live with it for now. This speed will get me round to the Trax stop and round downtown any faster and I may hurt my self. I am going to see what is on the net. Wheelchair Junkie always has some radical ideas

Old Jazz

Old JazzThere is the old jazzy sitting right next to the garbage . I wish I could justify keeping the old horse but the chair is so old I cannot even get electrical parts for it any longer.. The chair still runs though, in fact it runs faster then my new chair; bums me out sort of. Mark A was here last night and we ran them against each other “I wish I had run the video on that”. The old jazzy performed with wonder. Alas, it just a toy, now at best. I just wish I had the old jazzy’s speed.

Shoes You Loose

Whose Shoes

Another mystery. These shoes were sitting at my train station yesterday morning. No one paid them much attention until I started snapping images. These shoes are a little trashed but truly some good miles left. Unlike images, I have of single shoes along the side of the road and the occasional pair tossed over a phone wire. These are shoes left in a highly visible place…and yet, I could get no one to take responsibility or owner ship for the lonely discarded footwear. These train stops are kept very clean; they have folks who come n and clean up a couple of times a day, so the shoes had to have been left relatively close to the taking of this image. These train stations may also be a time station portal or multi-dimensional rift.

Giant Alien Clouds

Today, I had a meeting with the local Assistive Technology Foundation. The meeting is in Layton a community about 30 miles from my office. I drove my van today so I would have the transportation I would need. The meeting was OK, the meal hot and tasty. The meeting content was interesting and some comments of contention made or near contention which promises an interesting Fall, the time for the next meeting of this group.

The heat has finally found it’s way to the State. Huge bi-cumulus clouds have boiled up and hung low over the interstate as I sped back to my office about 2:00 this afternoon. The wind is blowing from the South—but I do not know what that means but it is a hot dry wind. I heard thunder rolls but did not see any lightening. I am sure I’ll see some on my drive home. The cloulds are huge, black blue and threatening. Some bits of rain have spilled from the clouds but dried quickly—rain on hot days like today produce a warm rain, a welcome rain which cools and refreshes. If I am lucky I will also see lightning—quick white jags scaring and splitting the sky. The clouds today are huge and dense, big enough to hide immense alien

Juggernauts just waiting to take over the State .

Lunch with Carol

I had lunch today with Carole Mikita She is a local TV personality, anchors 6:30 news. I got stuck with giving Carole an award for Media Representative of the Year. Very interesting. I have always been somewhat indifferent to her. Since she is the Cultural/Religion Editor for the Station little she ever reported on affected me. The network she reports for is also the major network in this market since the station is essential supported by the regions dominant religion. Now, I do know her brother an assistant Attorney General for this state. He also has a major disability – and for this I have been mildly impressed with his highly visible position in this states government. This guy has Muscular Dystrophy, uses a power wheelchair, has major bucks and gets round very well. In my opinion he is a major role model (excuse the pun) for people with disabilities in this area.

I was forced to do some research on Ms Mikita. I found out the Carole is the same age as me, we actually have a lot of the same thoughts. She is committed to her brother, family, religion and art. Her parents ingrained this in her and she has stuck to her commitment. I used to think Carole was a lot of fluff but upon reading her work and some of her essays I see she thinks more then I had given her credit for. We had a good lunch .

Hey I Placed!

place
I was in the back of the office this morning making coffee when the boss came in and announced and congratulated me for winning the division I competed in Saturday at the 5K! Needless to say, I was amazed by this announcement. I finished the race and hung round but did not hear anything about me winning anything. I placed a call to my buddy Kim, who informed me that I had actually placed third in the “assisted” i.e. power wheelchair division. I was still pretty shocked. So I have a ribbon coming cool. I get a image of this as soon as I can. My time was 33 minutes and some seconds. Still, this was with a power wheelchair—I felt guilty eating one of the oranges after the race. I felt these oranges were for the REAL racers, those who had provided actual human power for the race, whether pushing a chair, hand bike or walking or running. I just pushed a joystick in t

Waiting for the Rain to Stop

Sunday afternoon on a perfectly wet weekend, the weather was not bad yesterday morning for the UILC 5K. I did the race in my power chair; the weather held for that thank god. The winds kicked up, the clouds closed up, and the rain began, Major rain for us in June. D and I went shopping following the race and ate at the Shang Hi one of our favorite places. Time with D was wonderful. We next did the week’s shopping and I came home. I got a couple of steaks at the “throw a way” section of the meat counter in hopes of finding enough dry and warm weather to “burn” out on the deck but nothing as yet. Today I reinstalled the printer. We have not used the printer since we got the new system, last week, and of course, when we needed the printer last night the computer could not computer could not find the computer. I was too tired last night to do the fix right and this morning I downloaded the drivers I needed and the thing worked. I was quite pleased with myself only to find the printer is out of black ink so the documents we needed printed could not be. Now, I have to venture out in the cold rain. However, D has suggested that she could try to fill up the cartridge with ink. She has the equipment but I think I need to get a couple of cartridges just the same. I want to get a different keyboard too. Mark A indicated he may get by today. I wanted top work on cleaning the garage but it maybe too cold to be out there for any real quality cleaning. I am feeling a real hankering to get on my hand-bike and ride a little. I know I can never ride like the paras but just the same, it would be fun to pump for a while.

I still have to go to the market, Office Max and such and get something productive done with this wet, drizzly day.

I'm back!!

Way back on Tuesday I realized I had conference the end of this week. I had completely spaced them. So, I jumped back in my power wheelchair and off to the Hilton. Luckily this was just round th corner from my office but still took me away from my computer for the rest of the week. I feeling sickly too the past couple of days so I did not even enjoy the conference anyway. Not that I ever do. I have always felt conference are a monumental waste of time unless the conference is in Washington DC, San Fransisco or even Seattle but that is a long shot. Oh, i like Portland enough to suffer to go there...anywhere else count me out. This conference was being held in my own city so I did not have to stay away from my bed. The conference was put on my Easter Seals Project Action ESPA. A conference to train lock transit systems to work with gimps and old guys. Usual stuff but the food was pretty good and th hand out useful. I met some interesting folk one or two I would be interested in corresponding with. This one guy was from Berkeley CIL. Christopher. He may be an interesting contact. The rest were pretty pedestrian. Conference salmon swimming up stream to spawn then die in last comments of the last breakout after the mandatory conference evaluation had been filled out. Waiting for cabs to take then out to the airport and their tired lives.

So, I have lost two days but tomorrow is Friday. I have some critical function I must do for next Tuesday—return some calls , check on th new power wheelchair and see about getting the van looked at. It'll be good to be back in the office.

Why do I Even Try

Today is the annual “Tissues” conference. Tissues is the state wide organization quasi think tank which develops policy and legislation for the low-income of our fair state. I am there passing out information doing Outreach. It is the first dress up event I have been to since I invested in a couple of new sport jackets. I have had then for nearly a year now but have never worn them. So today is the day I can and I did. I chose a white turtle or mock turtleneck. I should have known better but I could not help it. There I was white under black with full frontal exposure to the public. I tried everything from the moment I put on the shirt till I got to the conference. I just sipped my coffee. I had two cups at the office before I went to the conference with no problem. I became confident, I became over confident and tried the same thing with a Styrofoam cup; that was my mistake. In just once second, not thinking, I goosed my power chair and the coffee sloshed from my cup I was holding in my mouth to my white mock turtleneck shirt. Now, I look totally stupid with nothing to cover with. The coffee stain is too huge to be covered by my nametag. Angela at the office said not to sweat it, just pull the jacket over and this will cover the spot. She maybe right…it’s the only alternative I have. I must accept the fact that I can only wear darks, preferably black…what the hell was I thinking? What or who do I think I am?

Working Till I Drop

I just got off the phone with my buddy Mack, from the (State) Mental Health Association—what a fun and crazy guy. We used to work in fairly close proximity to each other and later closer when he became Ex. Dir of his own operation. He has a small operation and works low under the radar to bring about good changes for his constituency very similar to my agenda. Both of our spouses are very ill to the point of having to require almost full time Rehab intervention. My D- is going to have to resign her position which has resulted in great stress. We are State employee which means we have state retirement plans. D- and I figure if we cannibalize our retirement accounts we should be able to survive for at least a year…if we are careful. I have not really built up a lot of retirement, not like what I have acquired is not enough to really provide any type of “real” retirement. So, I have always figured I will have to work till I drop dead probably right at my desk. Mack said essentially the same thing, he will work till he drops dead too. Perhaps this is best the alternative of waking up each day with nothing to do and suffering through till sleep takes me at the end of the day and to go through that each day till the Reaper shows up at my door. And perhaps this is the best way to live a life, to make it full with every minute counting.

The rain came back today with a vengeance. I had to fill up with gasoline this morning and decided to drive in today. The rain seemed torrential this morning and I appreciate having the vehicle. Summer seems to be having a difficult time finding it’s way to this town.

Happy Birthday Mark

bday

Finally! I called the bank and finally the BOA folks\’s fax came through and I was ready to go. (Please bear in mind this event happened yesterday, Friday. Yesterday was also Mark A’s birthday and he wanted to come with me to pick up the new computer. he was working but would be off my 4:00) Luckily I had my monthly meeting with the Russians Thursday so I had a couple of hours to blow…I worked through lunch so I was off by two o clock! I should have brought the van in today but I didn’t so I had to Trax home get the van then fly down to the Credit Union. I was doing pretty good time wise when I got to the credit union. But just as I was getting ready to ask for Rachel, the credit union person I was working with on my loan a chick asks for Rachel, MY RACHEL!! And I swear to Moby she started a song and dance which lasted thirty minutes!

I finally got to Rachel and this took another 15 minutes to sign for the loan and get my check. Then I sprinted out to the van and out to the Westside…this took another thirty minutes at least but I was really fortunate Mark A had not even got off work yet. Luckily, again, he called me on his cell and talked me in because I was hopelessly lost. I got him and got some of his domestic business taken care of and we were southbound. Traffic was terse, it was right at 5:00 pm but we slowed to the flow and got by. Long story short be got to the shop. The case I wanted to use, my old computer case, was too small to house all the new equipment Josuah was installing and he decided to put everything into a new box. A styling box with great light on the inside. The machine looks like something CloseEncounters of a third Kind. Mark came home with me, passing up an offered birthday dinner, to set up the machine. By now, the time and day was wearing on me. I did not look as exited as I should have, a new system and all—I tend to worry about things too much especially new things. This worry dissipates as I use the new items. So, I got Mark A back into the van and we drove back towards his apartment. I gave him some money and my old computer case which had affair amount of RAM I could not use with my new system, for his birthday gift. We stopped at Albertson’s to break a twenty so I could have a little change if I needed it. I waited in the van and Mark came out a bit later with a birthday cake, he bought his own birthday cake. I could have cried.

Back In The Race!

Race

I used to work at the local Independent Living Center (ILC). I worked there for over ten years. IL is a philosophy, a way of life almost a creed. IL and the ILC is also a place to work, usually a private non profit a a place where people with disabilities can hang, get services and advocacy and re-integrate back the “system”. Anyway, the ILC like private non profits every where they need money to survive and 15 years ago they started the “run and roll” a 5K fund raiser. I have pushed the race a couple of times but not in at least 8 years. Five K is not very fare, just a couple of miles but for me the push really wore me out. I have not pushed the race since I started using my Jazzy. I know, it is sort of a joke to use a power wheelchair to race but why not? I spoke with my buddy Al, who organizes this race, and he indicated that there is now as many power chairs in the race as runners so I will not look too out of place. I usually do not do the race obviously, but when I was visiting with my boss this morning she mentioned that her and her husband were racing so I figured why not? Maybe it will be fun and maybe I can get accrue comp-time and hang with my old buds.

Still waiting for the new power chair and computer.

Tuesday—Back in the World

Tuesday—Back in the World

I was slow to start this morning but I eventually got up ad out of bed and out to work. It took more commitment then usual but I made it. I wanted to enjoy this day because it is supposed to be th driest and warmest day of the week.

More trauma from BOA. I called the bank to start the process of getting th bank to fax the letter over to my credit union so i can get the loan to purchase the Desk top. I was not overly hopeful so when Jared from BOA said that h would process the request but do not expect anything in 48 hours. I asked him, “ For sure 48 hours, perhaps maybe

less?

Jared

Well, maybe less but since this is Tuesday following a holiday Monday

I would not count on the letter being fixed today.

ME

So, I can call today at 3:00 my time and maybe you would have some news.

Jared

Perhaps, but I would no count on it.

ME

So, really what you are really telling me is that should not expect to even think of getting the document faxed till Thursday morning.

Jared

That's probably more in the ball park. Wok Mr S. Thanks for letting Bank of America be your computer purchase.

GRRRrrrrrrrr.

Hanging up the phone i called my son's best frien josh who just happens to work at PC Club but at another store then the store I started my quest. Josh had indicted to Mark that he(Josh)committed to making his Marks Dad ,me, a happy PC CLUB customer. So we visited and he did give some great advice and some pretty good deals. In fact I am going over to the store tonight with Mark and Jasmine to take the fried system over to Josh's store for a post postmortem to see what parts we can salvage and which will lower th price even more and let me have the feeling of carrying spirit of the Asus forward to the new computer. I gotta go

Memorial Day

Memorial Day Start of Summer
So ends another holiday. Tomorrow is work. It's been four days and I am kinda glad but work is work, I think what bums me out is the knowledge that I feel I have squandered the time. I did the obligatory calls, two meals with kids and great meals they were. It was th space/time between the meals and the phone calls that I could have done more. I do not even have expanded cable anymore to blame that on. No movie channels or anything like that and yet, I squander. I have to do better.

Memorial Day was spent at Bridget and Game's we had great shrimp boil, steak for me and two kinds of pie. We ate inside do to the untimely rain we were “blessed” with today. But a good time was had and I guess we are establishing traditions of sorts. I just verbally IMed with Shelly and the conversation was great but I sensed we are both tired but I enjoyed the conversation and the content. We always have great conversations. I have included a image of the boil. I'll see you tomorrow

Deep in the Holiday

Looking for Mr Desktop
This morning is the dead center of my holiday and I really have not done anything, I have just been hanging out out of the house but have been abl to visit with Shelly and Mark A, Brooks was in for a few minutes on Friday night and Bridget was over for couple of hours to Jacuze with Dianne. I am enjoying though. I have my load of guilt since I have not been over to see mom and I'll have to call her today I don't think I will make it to Santaquin this weekend though. We are having lunch/dinner with Mark and Kristie today and we have a BBQ tomorrow with Bridget n Gabe. The holiday is full. Actually, I have enjoyed doing but fretting about what to do about the PC.

I told Mark A about my almost purchasing the desktop on Friday from PC Club. Josh-his best friend- works in a small city thirty miles south and Mark talked to Josh about my dilemma and told Mark that if I to go down to Josh's store Josh could work me a deal. Ethics! The issue I have is I went to the local PC Club and asked lots of questions an gave them the idea that if I were to purchase the system I would do it through them. Josh works for the same organization and he will give me better deal. So, if I go with Josh and I will have the warranty via PC Club so if I had to push the warranty I would most likely go to the my local shop and look like a major looser. I think I will just have to talk to the locals and let them know the situation and see what they can do and then decide. Hopefully, I'll the system home and running soon. More to come...

BOA, I Scourge You

BOA, I Scourge You

So today I take off work, just a little stretch to the holiday weekend. I thought I would be somewhat productive though. I decided instead of repairing the old system with the toasted motherboard I would invest in a new system. I have thought about thi a lot this week and decided that since the old system died and it was very old(years at least). I would be in the old system so much money that it would be just as well to get the new system with warrenty and everything. I stopped at the local PC Club and spec'ed out the system I wanted got the sales guy to print me out the list and end prices then flew to the bank or credit union in my case. No problem...low and behold because of th screw up with Bank of America earlier in the month there was a “delinquent” payment on my credit report. UNBELIEVABLE!!! So the Rachel at the credit union said all I had to do is get BOA to fax and everything would be just fine.

So I drove bank home and called BOA and they told me that I was not delinquent that I was just fine. But, the late payment was psoted with the credit folks but she would be happy to fax the statement over on TUESDAY!!!! It turns out it was 5:00pm on the East Coast and busines was done for the week and the holiday..grrrrr. So no new box today. That's OK. My laptop is doing just fine. A little hard to type but I'll get by.

Am I being paranoid

Paranoid

Something really weird happened the other day. I am trying to filter out how much is coincidence and how much is actual and how much is me becoming paranoid. You might remember my May 16th entry BOA Sucks! My little account issue with Bank of America. I don’t know many of you know or use the “Site Meter”. I have the site meter on my blog. I recently moved the “Site Meter” icon right under the “Archives” list. Any way you can “click” on the meter icon and it will give you access to a host of information about the blog, who is on, how long people are on even where the viewers are coming from. I average about five views a day. That’s good for me but nothing like Dr Au’s who get thousands of hits a week-she has a great website. Anyway one of the selections on the “Site Meter” is “Recent Visitors”. This gives the domain name from where the visitor originated ie.: Comcast, AOL etc. But, I noticed with a chill that I had a visit from a domain named Bank of America!!!! I cannot believe this is just coincidence! I have fantasized that the major corps have small search engines like spiders which scour the Net 24/7 when one of these spiders encounters an item the beast is program for it reports the incidence back to the mother ship. In this case it is Bank of America. I am sure it’s nothing but if I happen to have accident or come up missing you’ll know where to look.

My New Buddy Max

Max 

The train culture is an interesting culture. I have noticed that the train culture is also a fairly closed culture. You get to know those who ride the same times you do and you expect to see them from day to day or week to week on your train. Now there can be some dispersion in time, since some folks will ride will not always make the train on time ut through the week you can bet you will see your “train mates” sometime during the week and this is important. So, when a new person enters the group it takes a while for them to be accepted. It’s not like an obvious discrimination it’s just a quiet distance set up by the clique.

So it has been with Max, the blind guy. I noticed him showing up on my morning train about three weeks ago. I had been ignoring him till this morning. He is learning the train system. Max is still in the process of being travel trained. He uses a cane—an has many characteristics I have often associated with folks with sever vision impairments, picking, rocking and some communication issues. Max, is a friendly guy and I can sense that he is lonely and is trying to meet people. He often “throws” out a phrase and sees who responds. Once Max has got you on his verbal hook he talks and talks. Such was the case this morning. Max was casting his verbal lines out. And he lucked out by snagging the guy sitting next to him in the course of that conversation came out that Max needed to find a bathroom …but quick. He had to get off at a downtown stop and was asking everyone where the closest bathroom was. Clearly this was enough to isolate the rest of the folks in the car. I had not revealed myself to Max as yet but realized I would have to assist this guy. I kept thinking what would I do, if In was in a new city and was trying to figure that city out. I was about an hour early for work so I had the time and I had worked with any folks with sever vision impairments so I uncloaked. I told Max I would walk him to a bathroom and he was just ecstatic.

We downloaded off the train a stop from my regular top so I was OK. I just did not want old Max to lt go with his bladder before we got to a restroom. Luckily there is a across the street from the Train stop. I had Max grab onto the back of my wheelchair and we were off. Max did great keeping up. I got him to the door and told him I would wait till he finished and we would take it from there.

Max emerged from the restroom ten minutes later looking relieved and obviously had made it to the restroom in time. Whew! But now I am uncloaked. He knows my voice now and the sound of my power wheelchair. He’ll be “sharkin” for me. I guess I am glad I could help. No one else was going to so I did.

I have a new friend, Max.

Why Me Part II

Perspective
OR
R.I.P ASEUS 133—BUT I CAN GET SOMETHING ELSE.

Mark Anthony came over yesterday afternoon. I wanted him to take a look at the PC desktop and see if my thoughts about the lost power source were correct. Mark plugged the system in and unplugged and plugged in the system again and tried to turn the computer on but still nothing happened. We figured it had to be the Power source. Mark wanted to look at the power source so he took the back off the computer and just stared—he looked like he had just seen a ghost. Mark looked at me and asked if I had dropped the system recently or violently run into the system with my Jazzy.
I pondered the question but honestly answered , “No, not to my knowledge—why do you ask.”

“I don’t kow I have never seen anything like this, but the fan is completely ripped off the vents and this is your processor and looks cooked.”

I inched my wheelchair forward and there in the gloom of the cpu was the charred remains of what had been my processor. The mother board was gone, fried, taken back to the MCU (Master Control Unit). Mark Anthony gently handled the pieces and tried to scrub some of the charred remains of the heat sink…it was ugly.

“ Your motherboard is fried, Dad. I am sorry “ with that he buttoned the case shut and set in back on the computer stand looking small and so insignificant.

Luckily I have a lap top which is working just fine but, I am going to have to replace the PC and soon. The lap top is just too small for Dianne ad I to both use. I think the rest of the stuff in the computer, a hard drives, CD roms,dvd player and writers are still operational. So the question is to get a new system or to get a basic chassis with a mother board and transfer the components over. This would the most inexpensive. If I were to go to a new system entirely I think I could replace my system with a much less expensive piece which would do equal or more work. I owned the deceased system for almost 6 years—it has been great but time to let go.

So, the perspective piece is this—I have all this drama over the weekend and I feel kinda stressed. Well, I get into work this morning and encounter Amy, one of my work buds and she informs me she has been the target of credit card fraud!!! They totally drained her account. She was distraught. I felt bad for her too…but then I thought. I could live with just the lap top if I had to and I will replace the PC sooner then later with little distress. Yeseree things don’t look bad at all. Everything is a matter of perspective.

Why Me?

No Show 

We went to bed early last night- a sure sign of the aging process and my place it that process. I love hitting the sack early then getting up early the next day and getting a lot done...actually we seriously cut the cable, just the broadband and basic, basic TV...only thing close to a movie channel is “On Demand” and that is just a couple of movies worth watching. So, with no cable channels, no movie channels there is nothing to stay up for. So, I was in bed by ten. Dianne crashed way early because she was worn out from all the yard work she had done. But up we are this a.m. Early and ready to go.

I found my Windows XP and I committed to “nuking” my PC today so I can load Fire Fox. But,, as is typical for me when I have got everything I need for the job I find I have lost my power source to my PC. I replaced the power source just about 6 months ago. The issue could be something else but the symptoms seem real familiar. Just a big cyclops staring back at be when I push the power button. So, I need to get a final diagnosis then back to COMPUSA for another source. It just never stops!!! I had better get going the day is young.

I WISH I WERE SMARTER

I wish I were smarter I really do. The past couple of weeks I have been doing most of my computer work on my lap top in the living room. I have found this area, a nice place to write and update my blog, do emails and some graphics work. I guess I have neglected my PC which lives in the “Computer Room.” I was going to work on that system I call Guardian, yesterday when I got home from work but I could not get the system to boot. This is the first time this has happened to the point that I could not even get to the desktop. Up till now, if and when this has happened I have rebooted a a couple of times and finally I have able to get to the desktop and run my programs. But now I cannot even to the desktop. I have figured out how to use the “task master” and “run” some of the programs but I cannot get out to the INTERNET , which I need to post items to the blog as wwell as the other things I need to do like banking, ordering and FTP engines I need to update some of he websites I do. This is not a huge deal because I can do all that from my laptop but I just having equipment which does not work. I of course run XP and I should be able to manage this software but I cannot. I am searching for my XP disk to re-install but I cannot even find this vital piece of software. I really piss myself off sometime. I should be smarter.

tO wORK

Chicks on the Grass

I love this chicken family. I usually see them everyday on my way up to the train station. The chickens are out there forging for grubs and what ever in various neighbors yards. These birds free range, usually one cock and two hens—there have been times I have seen more. Last year for, instance or maybe the year before one of the hens has a brood of chicks. I counted more then 10. I don’t know how many survived. Some did though but there are a lot of cats in the neighborhood. The chickens are fairly domesticated. They do not seem to be too frightened of me or my wheelchair. If I charge them they will scatter but they will let me approach if I slowly motor my chair up to them. I have never tried feeding them. Maybe, I should. I have not yet has a chance to use the video capture mode of my new digital yet. This might be a good reason to explore the video feature. The cock is quite a character, walking round all puffed up all the time. The bird will crow starting about 5:30 a.m. in the summer and 6:30 in the winter. It’s a good crow and is reassuring affirming the bird has made it through another night which means I have. Maybe that is what it is all about two species working together to get through another day….make mine Original KFC.

Signs of the Time

Signs of the Season 

I took the long route to my bus station tonight. The weather has finally turned and May weather is here. Warmer temps and dry. I caught the train at the Galavin Station, the closest thing to a business district we have. I am also getting to get to know my new digital better and am taking more images. It's a great camera and I can handle it much better then the HP C200 1 mp that I have been using. So, I noticed this new shaved Ice stand. Some great street people too. I wished I had got the image the girl who was minding the stand but I felt that too risky. But the summer folks are just beginning to come out. I hope to get some images of them soon. Real street people.

If I have a gripe tonight it would be the the stupid train. There were four crips on the train tonight, all cramped into the first and only car that people in wheelchair can ride. Then at the ball Park station another power wheelchair needed to board. There was no room to bard that sucker—and sucker he was because he shrugged and said, That's ok I'll catch the next train. This is cool because he can do this but why should he have too?If it had been me I would have been pissed! This is a sure sign of things to come. I am going to write another Letter to the Editor but I doubt it will not do any good but I am going to have to do something. Maybe people with disabilities will get off there asses and demand better riding conditions.

Camera Up!

Flash in Glas

I am using the new camera more and more and am beginning to enjoy the experience. The camera is small and I have to figure out how to hold and handle the small box and take the images I wish, without my fingers in the way. I was able to take the camera out yesterday and was able successfully download the images last night—I really like the ability to take images without he flash process.



covert image

I took a covert image last night on the train. This is sort of fun. This morning I install a “card reader on my office system which will let me harvest images at the office. I have not used the video capture feature yet but will soon , if nothing but a test . The only drawback I have experienced thus far is the size of the S-D card, pretty small for my fumbling hands to manipulate. Stay tuned more image are coming.


When I got home last night I had a message on the answering machine. The sales guy, Sean, I have been working with to get the new Jazzy indicated he was getting indications from my insurances that they most likely would consider the procurement favorably. We should have something definitive in 8 10 days. Now, I am worried that I have ordered the correct chair for my needs. I feel this especially with the experience of the Jazzy I got a couple of weeks ago. Too small and not enough speed. The chair I get must have the speed I need. I know this sounds dumb, but let me tell you when you are out on the tarmac day in and day out the only thing you have is power. I was also speaking with another sales guy a few days ago and he mentioned that Jazzy had two typed of chairs, one more sturdy then the other. I think I need tougher chair—I am so worried I will have “buyer remorse” regarding this purchase…and the purchase will have to stand for five years.

BOA Sucks!

Actually I am sure it’s not just Bank of America(BOA)—I am sure any of the bank lenders might do this but my Credit Card group od Bank of America and they are in my sights today.

So it’s Monday morning. I am checking my accounts to see how well I survived the weekend and I see that my credit card people(BOA) is showing I am over due a payment and my next payment is due. Arggh! Well, I get on line and pay the double payment so, I am hoping I am current now till July. Then I got to thinking about the whole credit card thing and remembered I paid something on something last week. When I got to checking I found the “Confirmation of payment” So, I essentially made a double payment or even a triple payment when I need only to have made a single payment. BOA knows that people do this, they get an email says they are behind or something then “knee-jerk” a payment and find out later that they have already paid the damn payment and it’s too problematic to go back and change the whole thing. I vow to be better the next month but things get on with life I forget and boom again. I will be better.

I bought a new digital camera, Kodak C-300. I am still learning about the camera—new images should be appearing shortly. I will miss my 1 meg HP. Maybe it’s time to move on.

Back in the saddle again.

VAN GO

Last night, Scott Holladay, the fellow who brought my power chair back the night before returned and brought the pendulum( the device which controls the lift, which was crimped and which cut the wires. He had repaired the wires which had been cut and at no charge! What a guy.
We visited for a moment and found the Scott Holladay has a private non-profit which actually gives power wheelchairs away to folks who need them. This is so interesting in that I did not know anything about the organization. I was going to put a link to his webpage but I cannot find a webpage for either of his organizations.

I had another meeting out of the office yesterday afternoon and I had to use public transit to get there which is cool. I made the connections and got to the meeting. I took off afterward like the day before just like the day before the rain started and came down fairly hard. I had my gear though so I stayed fairly dry. Jazzy, my power chair, held up OK—the batteries looked to be nearing their final drain point but I made it . I stopped again at Praxaire on the way home and had the batteries load tested and they seem to be fine. I am just going to have to keep the chair plugged in to make sure they stay charged with enough “juice” to get me back and forth.

I just gotta call I am late for a meeting so I am out of here. Have a great Friday night!

I suppose you are all wondering why there have been no posting of images of late…will my digital seems to be broken. I may have inadvertently cooked it the other day when I was drenched and I was blow drying my backpack where my camera lives. I do not know how hot I got the camera but the camera will not save images right now—hopefully this will not take long to fix or get another camera…

Rainy Day Van

Life is a trade off this is my mantra and every day I get older I see the truth in the statement more and more…it drives me crazy. In the continuing saga of the power chair for nothing this is the latest installment. I have a meeting over at Human Services which takes my lunch hour and goes to three, so with the threat of rain, taking my lunch hour late I elect to cruise home following the meeting. I was wet off and on all day in my chair and on the road. I dried off once I got to work with the hair dryer I keep in my drawer. I have also been wearing the “dork cover” the red slicker. I know I look strange but the device keeps me remarkable warm and dry.

Remember tonight is the night I was going to drive over and pick up my old chair and drop the new one off. However, I was thinking this might not happen since I cannot get my van to operate, as it should. So, I had this brain flash: why not call Justin at Mobility Solutions and have him at least find the issue, then I could still go to the meeting I have today. I really do not want to go over there in my chair. So, I figure I am going. I get in the house call Justine, he will wait a little after work for me to get there and so I take off my DC= dork cover and head out to the van. I open the doors and deploy the lift and drop in to the ground. I load my self in the up position and go in side and then find out the hand control I have on the inside of the van does not work. I cannot fold the lift back into the van and actuate the doors closed AND I cannot get the lift to lower back to the ground…I am trapped in my van. I have only one bar left on my cell phone and I am using that bar to call Justine to see if he would strop at the house but I cannot raise anyone at Mobility Solutions just a busy signal. I am too embarrassed to call Albert, the neighbor o I sit on the lift till Dianne gets home. It could have been colder but it was cold enough. I THEN call the folks who have my power chair to advise them I will not be able make the hand off. She says that is OK nod she will hang on to the chair for a couple o days. Then a few minutes later she calls and says her sons is bringing the chair over in their wheelchair van. Cool! It turns out that my Jazzy was too big for their small “bakery: van and it just so happens their neighbor is the owner operator of a personal disability transport system. They come over makes the swap—everyone is happy plus he looks at my van problem and ascertains the problem (I have closed the lift on the cord to the hand held controls and there in broke the wires. He is fixing them even as I write. I hope to have an operation vehicle again soon.

So now I have big old chair back--it's great to have back but now I have a power drain somewhere. I cannot seem to keep the thing charged up, now, it is my primary transport till I get my van operation. I have to be care that I don't run out of power on te main line: the tradeoff? I can atleast go fast!

Back Jack !

Newchairgone

I am cold and grumpy—it almost the middle May and I have yet to enjoy a sunny warm day--yet this Spring! The only days that have been quasi warm have been associated with tons of wind and clouds as a precursor to the nest bank of storms. Plus the fact the building I work in has the AC going full blast and freezing me out--but the day is now almost over, two more hours and I am on my way home.

The ““new” to me” chair is going back. I called Barbara yesterday and let her know. I just cannot use the chair I picked up last weekend. Interesting I was training home last night and I was telling this to one of the guys I ride with, Evan, and Evan suggested that perhaps I was not happy with the Jazzy I got is because this chair is much slower then the big chair. I had to stop and think a moment but Evan is exactly right, I hate just put-putting along with this Jazzy 1120, the seat is too narrow and I cannot adjust the back and the foot plate is too small…it is just not the chair for me. I need to my chair. Fortunately, for me my old chair is still at the hour where I got this one and I have scheduled to pick it up tomorrow after work and drop this chair off and all will be back to normal. Now, I just have to start pressuring my durable- medical provider to follow up my insurances and get my new chair in.

Mother’s Day Sunday

Actually not so bad for a Mother’s Day: We minimize the stress by doing our Mother’s Day for my mother yesterday. We celebrated today by going over to Bridget and Gabe’s. I do this every once in a while to remain in the family. Like I have discussed before… the house is inaccessible meaning I am either trapped inside or outside. This is interesting because you never really understand family flow until you go through this kind of event. It’s amazing how many times people enter and leave a room. If you are regulated to that room, you either have to be literally carried from one room or to the next or carried in or out side. This I not so bad in the winter because people just stay inside but all the other seasons it’s amazing to see the migration patterns. Not bad today, I had a book and that let me socially anti-social. I think all except this behavior now—it’s easier on everyone.

Steaks and coconut shrimp was on the menu—Gabe cooked Bridget supported and the time spent I am sure was quality. Dianne spent her “after-time” with Anakah and gab found a Star Wars episode for me. The segment was on Network so I had to deal with the commercials but it could have been a whole lot worse viewing could have been Nascar or baseball or some other pro sport. Not a bad day for a Mother’s Day. I am fortunate to still have a Mom

Mother's Day Melt Down

Mother's Day Saturday
My mom had a small stroke on Thursday, so small in fact, that she was able to go home later in the afternoon. She lost sensation mobility in her left arm for a while but everything came back and the sent her home. The physician even did the CAT scan of her brain and was shocked to find the brain had not shrunk as he had expected a 93 y.o.'s brain to be. This is a good sign the doc said. In fact mom drove her self to the Senior Citizen lunch the next day. So mom is definitely going to be round for Mother's Day weekend. I knew better get to see her one way or the other because I don't know if she is going to make to June when the family reunion is forecast to be.
I called early this morning and Mark indicated he would be able to go with me if the timing was right. This is important because I have to get a way into the house if we do not go out to eat some where. Next, I called Mom to see how her day was progressing. She sounded tired and a little withdrawn indicating she did not feel too well. Mom was up though in the kitchen with her sister and brother in law. I already knew mom had plans on going out to lunch with my Brother, Carl and I was not sure how to invite my extended family group along with my brother's family and mom. It not take much. I actually think Mom felt a little uncomfortable with me coming along but I'll never know—when you are the family crip you can get away with a lot. This all sounds pretty trivial but putting it all together was stressful beyond recount.
Lunch was to be at Up-chuck a rama at 1:30—in Provo. Small university town 45 minutes South of Salt Lake. Most of this drive time is Interstate driving so it's not too bad. I of course was late leaving not even picking Mark and Jazzy up till 1:00. They were ready and after some infusing of Jazzy's equipment into the van we were off. From that point on things went smoothly. The baby conked out as soon as we hit the interstate and slept all the way to Provo and halfway through dinner, even after waking she was good—did not want anything to eat not even the deserts. Mark did a great job of keeping Jazzy entertained and soon the event was complete.
So, it was a guy day-Mark and I and Jazz we touched the bases, weathered near melt down but we made it.

THREE DAY WEEKEND!

By Cassandra Barney/I love this image--I chose to use it for today's inmage even though the image has nothing to do with blog content.

I hate to be to petty but I get a three day weekend starting tonight after my monthly meeting with the Russians( see blog entry re; Sister City programs). From the email I received the meeting will have a visiting speaker from the Sister City and that should be all, but with the time I worked Saturday and two hours this week I missed due to ill staff and the Russians I have 8 hour so no Meadowlark into tomorrow. Petty, in that I am actually excited to have the time off; I have a lot of stuff to do, but it is not work stuff. I have not mentioned this before nut I was called a couple of weeks ago from someone who wish to place a couple of power wheelchair on the Salesbank. I gave her the whole Low-down about how if they ask too much for the chairs the chairs will languish on the Salesbank. When the caller told me what she had-a Jazzy 1120(nearly new),,,I told her I coveted a machine like that—how my 1120 was about warn out. I let it go. Then Monday I called back by this woman who says if I want the chair I can have it!!! So, I am taking my time to drive out to the place and check out the chair. If the chair is to my liking I will leave my old chair there and use the new chair. TOO COOL. The chair I have is so old that I cannot imagine any chair being worse. I may have to chair over the tires and maybe then “king seat” I have on my current 1120 but that is not too hard. So! If I can get that accomplished tomorrow I will be happy. I might also drive over to Santaquin and see my Mom—she was hospitalized for a short while yesterday with a possible stroke…just a light one. I spoke with her today ad she is home and doing fine.

WHAT ABOUT BO?

driver's cab

I thought I have spoke about the process of people with disabilities accessing the train. But, I have just searched most of the blog and there is no account that I can find which describes this process. So, here it goes. A person with a mobile disability can only access the Trax car from what is called a mini-high block: a concrete , switch back ramp that elevate the wheelchair user, crutch user or person who uses a cane, dog or some device to board the train. Even folks who cannot climb the huge three steps to the train may use the mini-high block to get onto the train.

The first car of the train is the only car people with disabilities can access. This fact drives me crazy—but that is fodder for another blog. This is because the drive of the trainer, the “operator” must physically unlock his door and leave the his little cockpit and open the doors of the train and actually lower a broad metal plate called the “bridge”. The “bridge” crosses the space between the train and the concrete bock making a bridge that a person using a wheelchair or whatever can use to roll across and enter the car. You assume things when certain things are all you are ever exposed to. Since I have to ride in the first car I thought everyone had a front car mentality. They don’t. Most people who ride the system, I’ll wager, never think of the operator. They must notice him as the train comes into the station but I bet they do not even notice then. People with disabilities tend to be come very much aware of the drivers—for they are the “gate keepers”, the operators are often your first contact with the Authority and your transit system. The driver smiles at you, when you board or growls at you or does not even acknowledge you. You, as a person can often sense the driver’s mood my the way he lets you on to the train. It really is a process a time consuming process. The first two seats of the first car are really jump seats which are folded up when a person using a wheelchair is on board making a nice little compartment for that person. Able bodied folks must relinquish these seats to folks with disabilities when the disabled folks enter.

Each operator, whether the operator drives a bus or a train wears a number and his name on his right shoulder. As a consumer entering the vehicle you should note the identification pieces. If the driver then does something offensive, dangerous questionable or something really, really, good you can let the folks at Management know, who will, hopefully take appropriate actions. Last Bo was the operator of my train. Now Bo is an OK guy—sort of—in a perfect world he would operate the train and I am sure he would operate the train well. If it’s just he and his train Bo does just fine, however add the human variable and Bo begins to disintegrate. Not that Bo’s evil, I think he has some evil characteristics. I can easily picture Bo, covered in sheets riding a horse caring a burning cross. Bo’s a balding, endomorphic, suspender wearing, 50 year old white man, with an unnaturally high pitched voice who wishes the world would leave him alone and let him drive his train. When I started regularly riding the he was my steady night operator. Bo is a “light talker” so soft is his voice that with the din of the world when entering the train you might not here him say anything. The operators ask you when you board what station you wish to be left off at. This really threatened me at first but the more I thought about it the more sense it made to let the driver know where you want to de-board. Nuff said, Bo and I have gone the rounds enough so I eventually took his number and reported him to management. He was pulled and retrained. I was not the only rider who had dealt with Bo. We tolerate each other now. I have not ad Bo for a driver for month now. I did not even know he was till driving—but there was Bo, climbing into the training and bring the drain up to the mini-high block where I was sitting. We kind a acknowledged each other. I volunteered by deboarding station and settled back into my place. Opsite me there was sitting women who looked very much like she did not wsh to be bothered. I could immediately sense the tension between Bo and the other folks in the car. I just wished Bo would lock himself back into his cab and drive. Every thing went well till be got to the Galvin Station—Bo opened the cab door with a flourish and ordered the women in the seat opposite me to remove her self from the seat indicating there were picking up a person with a disability.
Bo next, opened the door and walked out onto the platform and leaned over the rail as if to be waiting for someone
Cross woman:

He can’t make me do that. I know the rules and he can only make me leave if a disabled person is coming aboard. I don’t see one either. That’s a stupid law anyway.

I just focused on reading my book. The driver is standing on the mini looking like a U-boat captain, searching for prey. I mean Bo must have been standing there for three or four minutes which is eons in train time especially with another train up your butt in ten or fifteen minutes. The time was about 5:30 still with in the home “rush hour”…the trains will run ten minute headways. Bo finally turned and came back into the train and muttered I guess they are not coming and lowered the jump seat turned entered and locked himself back into the cab and started the train forward. This really started Cross Lady yammering after she in fact she yammered all the way to the next stop where Barbara a post polio friend of mine, and who uses a power wheelchair for mobility entered the train. This time with a glint in his eye Bo made Cross woman vacate the seat again, and he flipped the seat up and Barbara came aboard and sat close to me in the aisle, not using the prescribed seating—Cross Woman is now turning red muttering seeming ready to explode. I hold my breath focus on Barb and travel down the track. Barb is off in two stops and I and off at the next. I feel the stress leave me as I exit the train. I wished Bo a good night as I left the train but I could not tell if Bo said good bye

Buds



What a great surprise. I got an email from one of best friends from grade school! He wrote to say how much he enjoyed my blog and to keep writing. This, of course, appealed the my vain side. I am so human at times I amaze myself. I went to my hard drive and dredged up my third grade picture. There we were sitting in the front road. I am the one with the goofy expression and my buddy, John and just sitting there looking cool. We were pretty close through grade school but with the advent of Jr. high and high school we sort of went our ways. I knew where to find John at Christmas Eve and tried to call when I could. It was always good to hear from him. Then a couple of years ago John and his brother, Tom showed up at my Dad’s funeral, what a shock—a Walton’s moment. I really appreciated their attendance. I have moved from the city and the state I grew up. This makes the challenge or keeping in contact a most difficult and the best you can do is an occasional email or phone call and maybe that’s enough. Life goes on and so do we.

Conference

Contact High I did the MDA and ALS conference. I was surprised at the number of ALS people running round. Lots of MSers too. Really interesting. This was a group of folks who had no idea of my program and the services we provide. The best part of the conference was the vendor such as myself were not chained to the conference all day. We set up by 9:30 and the conference rs did the march round the info hall and they went to the breakouts and we cleaned up and went home. Perfect. I was home by 1:00. Many of the consumers had actually called the info line and they seemed well served. It was nice having them there singing praises to Access Utah. It almost takes the edge off my cynicism.

I was surprised that they actually had dough nuts. So rarely do conferences have real dough nuts. They had boxes and boxes of dough nuts. I got contact high just off the sugar. Coffee, dough nuts and comp time. Nothing better.

Flat Line

I drove my van in today. I have a conference tomorrow so I had to load up the van today. I a sitting here racking my mind trying to find something to write about. I have come to the conclusion driving shrivels the mind. When ever I drive I just have nothing to write about. When I take the train or the bus I just load to write about. I really experience so much more in the company of public transit. I just heard on the radio that the trax train has ran into a car at one of the intersections! Now that would have been something to write about…or maybe the trains will be backed up because of the crash: real excitement and real blog fodder. Well, that’s about it for now. Maybe I write more tonight.

Julia I Never Knew You

Julia Darling


I cannot remember how I got there but there I was at the website of Julia Darling—a British writer who died earlier this month of cancer. Do you ever feel an immediate connection with someone or wish you had know this person? I did this with Julia Darling. I read some of her stuff and especially her blog in the last days of her life. It was great—moving and made me feel “I just missed you. I wish I could have know you and your work better.”I plan to read some of your work and spend some time with your art work. Check out her website here. You will be glad you did…

Blinking Light Frustration (BLF)

Answer the phone


My partner and I sit way in the back of our office complex—it’s a great place for operators. Physically isolated and most of the time is quiet. We take our phone call and quietly and efficiently dispatch our nuggets of information. Our office complex is actually made up of two offices--Access Utah Network is my organization and we share the office space Governor’s Council (GC). We cover phones for GC time to time. There are times when you see a blinking green is going off and you feel compelled to answer it. More then one I have been yelled at because it was actually someone’s call on “hold”. It’s not a big deal to me but sure seems like it is for them. I can understand to a point when this happens to me. I am working a call and have to place the caller on “hold” and answer another phone or someone walking in to my office. I hear someone in the office pick up my call and I yell, “ I’m working that call” or “that’s my call!!” I guess I do get defensive about interlopers messing with my call or calls I time have spent a lot of time cultivating. But, I would rather risk that then have people on “perpetual hold” and thinking we are typical State flakes.

So lighten up we error and pick up one of your blinking lights by mistake. Sometimes it gets busy and your knee jerk reaction is to pick up the next blinking light and it’s hard to discern if it’s a fast or slow blink.

Building of Treasure

The Struve building is located one block North of my building and directly East of the Dental Center. I think the building itself is cool, by design . I also think the building is mysterious. When I take the train into work I usually get off at the Dental Center and I pass the Struve as I power up to my building. As I pass the Struve, I pass the rear of the building. They are downloading or uploading, trucks in the morning air. Usually, it’s video games: arcade type machines, juke boxes, that kind of stuff. I thought it was pretty interesting. The manual chair I use at work has pneumatic tires and I have many times toyed with bringing in to work an air compressor, a canned of compressed air or something to keep my tires inflated.

This was last summer and I had been pushing on squishy tires for a couple of weeks. Since I don’t take my chair home on the weekends I never get round to filling the tires up. Then on Monday morning when I jump into my Boing I am still on squishy tires. So, I remember they are always assembling things at the Struve—they gotta have compressor.

This was last summer, it was hot out side as I rolled up the Struve but soon as I got in I was blanketed with cool refrigerated air. The bright outside sunlight was replaced by darkness lit by neon lights from game machines. They assemble the video games in the back there. I figured they would have a compressor There are also rows of vending machines of one sort or another. There is a clerk’s station with a window in the main hall an a small branch of offices brakes on in another direction, these seem to be the “administration” offices: accounting, sales and delivery. The whole experience entering the building is like gliding back in time. The women sitting at the desk, chewing gum, is doing her nails waiting for the phone to ring. It would have been perfect if she had had one of those 1940’s WWII do’s. I tell her I need air, she calls me “Honey”. I knew she would and says go in the back and talk to Hank he’ll fix you up. I travel further father down the hall and enter into some sort of a show room. In this show room were brand new video games just exactly like I would find at any video palace, plugged in lit up and ready to play. Then I found out the best part: they are free. I roll up to a pin ball machine look it over, pull back the knob and let the silver ball sail and the next thing I know I am being the “wizard”. I play a couple of games then feel a little nervous and go back and ask Wanda if it’ OK to play the machines. She says, “Sure, honey. That’s why they ar here. We gott make sure they work right, go ahead, knock yourself out. I played the remainder of my lunch hour with visions of returning maybe daily to play the new machines. They did have an air compressor and I got my tires pumped up and a guarantee that they will pump me up again when I need it.

I think I have gone back maybe three times, specifically to play the games. I don’t know why I don’t go back more. I should. I don’t know how long the Struve will be there. I think a long time but one can never till the way building is happening round this town. Maybe this summer I play more.

Sunday Cooking

The weather reports The Weather Channel, The weather URL’s they all promised one good day of weather, in the 70’s then more inclement weather. So I was up, early yesterday dressed and out for my Saturday shopping. To the grocery got what we needed for the week the usual: milk, assorted vegetable, a fast scan of the “throw a way meats” and precipitations and flowers. I have started buying flowers at the market because I like to. Dianne likes the effort, I think, and I like having the color in the house. The flowers last about a week too just in time for the next weeks shopping. Then because I really wanted to barbecue I looked for the local Mexican butcher shop. The on I have used for the past couple of years was kicked out of their shop to make more room for the lawn mower shop which who owns the building. (That is a whole blog entry in itself). I remembered a little further south on State street there was a shop made from an abandoned KFC—seems appropriate for some reason called the El Toro.

I love these places, little pieces of a foreign country. It’s like taking a trip just entering their front door. It’s pretty cool. I come in and invariably all talking stops. Everyone turns to stare at me. It’s enough am a gringo –which I am sure is suspicious as hell but a gringo in a power wheelchair; that’s something you do not see everyday. The management never speaks English but usually enough to get by. Pointing and using fingers to indicate poundage I usually come out with what I want. I even try to speak a little Spanish. I am actually getting pretty good, at least for buying stuff. At the old shop I was becoming quite a fixture. Their faces actually brightened when I came in and they started knocking them selves out trying to please me.

Well, I rolled in. All talking stops, there are a couple of kids playing on the floor in the rear of the store. A grandma type seems to be supervising. The Mexican music is on in the back and two guys at the check out watch me. The are very Mexican, the older guy about my age- middle 50’s is wearing the cowboy shirt and a straw hat. This could be scripted—this guy is right out of casting. The other guy is much younger, college age wearing the T-shirt something about Che, written in Spanish, and a clenched fist onthe back. Too cool. Let’s call him Juan. I roll over to the meat display—just like in the old days. Juan saunters and nods. I am impressed and asked

“ Can I help you”

“Habla English”

“piketo”(sp?) holds up his hands fore finger a few CMs away from his thumbs and smiles. There is something genuine about Juan and I like him instantly. He is the kind of guy you know you could go out for a night drinking and have a great time.

“Cool” I reply and tell him I want flat meat Flat meat is meat these guys cut very thin. They use it in their Mexican wraps or what ever. I like it to BBQ . Te meat cooks fast and I have it all week then in my lunches. I cook a big bowel of rice ad some vegetables an I have a great inexpensive lunch. But, I tell Juan I want to cook out. Juan smiles and seems to understand. This summer I am really going to learn the different meats names. There a couple of different cuts, some more fatty then others. The fatty ones are more expensive. I don’t understand this but I well.

So, buy three pounds. I should just by one pound maybe two but I always buy three and this turns out to be a lot. But I leave the carcerina (sp) quite pleased with my purchase. By the time I get home the clouds have turned dark, the winds have shifted and the temperature has dropped with spits or rain making the supposedly great day a lost day for anything outside.

Today is worse then yesterday—lots of rain, clouds and cold. I gotta use the meat so I just did the usual, chopped the onion in to rings, did the same with a green pepper and added garlic and cooked the messed down—I weakened and added the mushroom soup and now it’s turning to something. I may even add sour cream before it’s over. The last I checked the meat was becoming tender—a couple more hours should do. I’ll have to cook some rice an a couple and everything should be edible. I wish it hadn’t rained.