moretransition

To say that my life the past couple of months last four or five months has been transitional would be an understatement at the very very least. Again I know these posts are getting somewhat boring as I discuss the traumas I've gone through the past couple of months but I believe they have to be written down after we documented a part of my life that part of my life that is my life now whether I like it or not here I sit once again in an incredible transitional phase.

Thank God I finally transitioned out of the hospital the rehabilitation Hospital which is par University of Utah but still it is a hospital. I remember colleagues of mine was spinal cord injuries right after I came to this part of the country more specifically Southeast Idaho and they told me about the rehabilitation facility at the University of Utah. I just blew it off I figured most people had strenuous moments while in therapy and this was just more of the same. How naïve I was then and just a little bit less naïve now.

But an interesting thought came across a Facebook posting to one of my “Boo-hoo session”. This session said Buck up you've already been through this 50 years ago you did this sit in on your head so why the big issue now. Had to sit down chew on that for a little bit and you know what it's one hell of a big difference now. 50 years ago I was probably the best health of my life, I was strong I was naïve I believed I could take on the earth and all that it had to give me. I knew I was meant to live I knew I was going to live a long time I knew I was going to make a difference I just sat back and enjoyed my very own television and new shoes and whatever else was coming down the line for me. Having this trouble now is altogether different. I'm old and worn out fat by trying to fight gravity every second that I am awake. I no longer have a balance but muscles I have had deteriorated seems and I'm basically starting new. I can't even sit in my manual chair without falling over falling out. Having to relearn how to use my muscles my hands how to shave how to feed myself this sucks to be doing is at 63 or 64. Add to the fact, I could be dead at any moment just because I'm an old guy and they just die for whatever reason. I've changed the world, I've made a name, and had my kids, people are tired of me and scared everything is new now. People forget me up in the morning I don't know and people I don't know what put me to bed at night and then paying them to do it more money than I have. I'm just praying that I can get strong enough to stophaving to pay them to do everything that I used to be able to do for myself. This is really sucking. I'm even thinking of trying to get a job to help pay for this attendant care help him having a stick and eye?

Now I've just heard that a new bed is been ordered for me a bed that goes up and down which is sort of cool actually when you think about it this really may help me get me back into some sort of control over my life I sure hope so something's got a return soon are I hate to think about the consequences I really do.

So that's it for Friday in February that's relatively warm at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. I should be a static about the warm weather but all I'm worried about now is another bad going into my room making me look just that much more like a gimp.