Dark Days

Dianne Is still in the hospital, I expected her home by now but her symptoms have not lessened and I don't think they have found the etiology of the distress she is currently going through. This is quite distressing to me on a host of levels the most significant being her well-being and comfort. She still complains of severe chest pains throughout her chest region and diarrhea. On the plus side physicians cannot find anything at this point significantly wrong so we ruled out cancerAnd pancreatitis which we really thought was a major issue. However, they remain something definitely wrong which means she might be in for another night at least. I am getting along okay with morning and evening staff though it is certainly weird and lonely without Dianne here. I hope that she gets released home and that we will be able to manage her symptoms then.

I actually spent most the day with Dianne yesterday at the hospital where she continued to be symptomatic and quite tired. Dianne needs rest I think first and foremost to help combat what is going on. I took the taxi up to the hospital which was less expensive than the meeting the day before and I figure if I am smart I can use the taxi effectively and economically. For example, I could take the taxi for my home to Central Station and there jump a bus or train that would get me to the hospital relatively quickly and with the least amount a ruling at the other end. The problem I'm having now is that I don't have adequate hand protection. I have to find a set of gloves that will protect my hands at least for short periods that I would be pushing my chair. Speaking of chairs at this juncture my power chair is not ready… They seem to have major amount of other chairs they have to work on first, it is my own fault for taking so long to get my chair into Utah Center Assistive Technology. Actually, I'm becoming used to the solid frame and even if I do not like most aspects of this chair I'm getting around and it and it will work out with all its flaws. I just need to get a set of gloves, leather gloves that will allow me to push once again. I am pleased though that I can use this chair and my other chair home to get into and out of places the power chair will not allow.

If I think about the situation too much I get some what spooked on the ramifications of a prolonged illness with Dianne and worse case scenario her demise it would devastate me in always. Should the worst-case happen I just don't know it is too difficult to ponder at this juncture.

So here I am, once again Capt. Don sol, waiting to find out what will be the next step. Dianne told me not to come up today because there is little I could Do and I should just stay home and work on burros and other projects. I burros are coming along I like the amount of work I have done recently in several directions I seem to be going. The days are dark cool and cloudy sort of how I feel hope things work out.