Alone – – Naturally

Have I talked about how I'm kind of getting worried about myself lately? It's not like I'm really going to do anything about it but still there's the nagging in the back of my mind “am I becoming socially retarded?” I noticed particularly this last holiday season how many social events I chose to pass up even the ones here in the building which would be easy for me to attend. I force myself out of my apartment at least once a day and roll all the way up to the front of the building just so I will not be a total isolate. I'm not really worried as much as I think other folks might be worried about me. I think some of my neighbors and other folks in the building wonder about what I'm doing or if I'm even in my apartment. No one knocks on the door (at least while I'm here) so they cannot be that worried.

Last Friday was the first Friday of this month which means the two dollar lunch is held for folks at the apartments. One of the newer “move ins” organize the event about a year ago. She actually puts the whole shebang together cooks the meal and provides it in the community room for those participating. She's actually an émigré from England. I don't know how long she's been on this continent but I think she some kind of a Jesus freak/Christian. She's not flamboyant thank goodness but still I sometimes wonder if this event to some sort of a Christian icebreaker. I must admit however there's never been any Christian overtones to the event. It's just heavily English I think. She asked Eagles out of her way to make numerous small loaves of bread, you know the cute kind, individual serving, the small loaves which are easy to eat in one setting slavered with butter. In all fairness I went to two of these events. I paid my two bucks and brought my plate and settings and was fairly disappointed. The food was not all that good, I didn't think so, even for two bucks. There was a lot of social groupings as well. I find it difficult to sit it any table let alone trying to find table I really want to say that. I basically ended up either with a group that I didn't necessarily want to be with or by myself. I just stopped going but I know some people are curious.

I guess the point I really want to labor is if I'm active on social media and I mean really active is this okay? Especially I have found when I use the video texting component where I'm actually visualizing the person I'm visiting with – – I cannot only see but hear the person I've contacted. Aside from the tactile stimulation it's as if I was in the same room with the person and having genuine social interactions. I mean even to the extent of having someone who feels like and somewhat acts like a significant other to the point that I don't feel I have to have a significant other in my immediate vicinity. This is the part I wonder if is healthy. I mean obviously I have not done well on the social side of relationships. I mean appreciate the people in my life that put up with me particular one local named Lori. She's a great person one who I generally do enjoy spending time with physically as well as over the Internet. It's just too close sometimes. But then, I'm alone…