Lost in the Words

I took off at 3:45 yesterday afternoon for my trip over to Magic Rest to get my left front castor repaired. I had the 4:30 appointment and I was getting away later then I had wanted due to a spike of last minute calls.

When I finally did get away I found the afternoon to be pleasant, not burdensome hot threatening to welt me down. The train was pulling into the station just as I reached the top of the mini-hi-block. I had a few blocks to travel once I got to 3300 South but was pleasantly surprised as I entered Magic Rest to find I still had five minutes before the appointment time. I spent the five minutes plus checking out the high ended, high performance chairs I doubt I will ever own. One chair I am beginning to covet more and more I see the chair. It’s the Permobile C500. When I was first exposed to the C500I blew it off as an expensive way to see a parade about 30,000 as near as I can tell. I am coveting this chair for the standing feature, not to see parades as must as a way to keep my pants up round my hips. I have noticed more and more my pants working themselves off of my hips during the day and I have to struggle to keep the pants pulled up. The trick is to somehow get the weight off my hips so that I might pull my pants up. I am imaging with the Permobile Stander I should be able to due this maneuver no sweat! To years ago would have laughed at the thought of investing $30,000+ for a convenient way to keep dressed but now in a mad grab at independence I would do it. I ( or I would have my insurance provider) lay down $30,000.+ just piece of equipment.

Checking back into reality, I doubt I will be getting a Permobile C500 soon—even if my insurance would consider such a purchase it would not be for another 4 years since I just purchased the Quantum I am currently using, and who knows who I’ll be by then? I haven been reading the stats on the chair as well and I am quite surprised to note that the chair’s motors seem quite small barely able to reach 7 MPH—which for me is way too slow.

Sorry I got a bit carried away on hopes and dreams. After a couple of slow starts my technician found a wheel in the back of the shop which would fit my chair. I transferred out of my chair into a huge recliner/stander chair which is another post all by itself, and took my chair back to the shop and made the change.

The heel of my foot often gets in the way of the castor and I guess actually stops the wheel from turning and the tech informed me that on these 100 degree plus days that if my heel did infact stop the castor from spinning and cause the wheel to drag even 10 or twenty feet it could be enough to sheer off a side of the wheel and cause the thumping. Price of new wheel: $35.00, cost of one half hours labor: $30.00 Lack of thumping: priceless!

Things That Go "Bump"

Cruising home from work yesterday, I had just descended the over pass when my right foot gets caught in my left front castor as my foot often does, the foot usually works itself free and I go on my way. However, yesterday, I stop my chair and lift my foot free of the castor, and situated the foot back on the footplate and I was off. I had no sooner taken off then I felt a thumping on the left side of my chair and the chair was making awful racket very similar to the thumping one experiences when one has a flat tire. On first inspection I thought I had run over something which had adhered to the castor which was causing the thump but on closer inspection I saw a flat piece of the tires surface had come off making a ‘shelf’ which caused the thump with each rotation of the wheel.. I was OK, and I was getting where I needed to go and I seemed safe but I also needed to get the castor repaired or replaced as soon as possible.

I limped (literally) into work this morning without incident just a little slower then I usually traveled primarily due to the fact I did not want the rest of the wheel to disintegrate I as I careened down the far side of the over pass. I made it though safe and sound and realized the faster I traveled the less noise I made. In fact, ball out 8 mile an hour I am just ‘ticking’ as opposed to ‘thumping’. Magic Rest, the wheelchair shop I go to does not even answer their phones until after 9:00 a.m and today I could not get anyone to really answer until about twenty after nine. They tried to song and dance me until they realized I was seriously about I wanted something done about my wheel today. I had to settle for a 4:30 appointment which is later then I wanted but finally caved—and really why not. I am getting along the office and getting round down town just fine—so I just leave a little early and still get my needs met.

So here I am just back from a lunch date with my Buddy JJ Religion writer for the local paper. I got to the restaurant with my defective wheel without incident. It was a good lunch we talked old times, gossiped about old friends no longer in our clique and talked about current projects and aspirations we hope to obtain before we get to old. We chidingly call ourselves ‘old men’ not really meaning it but really meaning it on some level we don’t like to really admit to. We both know now our time here is short even if we are lucky and get all the breaks that neither of us deserve. JJ get the bill for lunch and I let him, that’s twice now I have let him pick up the check. I am going to have to get the Christmas lunch or the check when we celebrate his next book due out about the same time. I gotta go and start pulling this week together I still have lots to do by tomorrow afternoon.

"No Free Lunch"

I was called this weekend by Jennifer of the Sister-Cities program; who kinda runs program here in the Salt Lake area. A weekend call, which was rare and on my cell phone, to advise me there was a group of Russian in town and could I make the Monday luncheon for them at the local Buca di Peppo. I gave the event a seconds thought and told her I would be there. Attending meetings, its what I don especially if the meetings held at a restaurant.

Jennifer had informed me, when she proffered the invitation that the folks I would be meeting with would be some representatives of the Ministry of Education, more specifically special education.

While not a free lunch—is there a free lunch—the lunch was a distraction, something to get me away from the office and a possibility the start of something big Buca di Peppo, I was not to sure about though. I had stopped in at this place right after it had opened. Di Peppo describes itself as family dining which means. To me, a convenient way of over pricing. When I to this place the first time, I ended up rolling out in frustration because I could not figure out their whole system from ordering to payment. I still have not figured the system out-we were saved by the participants at the lunch could not figure it out either and opted to order individually.

There were five Russian visitors who were accompanied two State department interpreters—which is always weird—the two special ed ministers, a principal and two others who were pretty fuzzy as to what they did—one kept quiet and smiled a lot and he other a dark complected, large in stature sat at the end of the table and made call after call on his cell phone. Communicating via interpreter is always challenging. We did introductions and I had to give a small presentation about who I was and what I did for the State. Luckily the questions to me were few. The two educators sat directly in front of me and seemed detached from the proceedings, one seemed to be glaring a lot of the time—I think if Jennifer had been closer to me she would have been kicking me under the table to converse more then I seemed to be doing, I asked a few questions, answered a few and made a coupe of points and figured I had done my bit. In fact I figured I had gone over my quota for an over priced lunch I was paying for myself.

I got out of there restaurant for about $13.00 not bad I guess, the added their own tip and did not offer to package my leftover spaghetti—which was just as well. I did my duty and paid for my lunch and smiled a lot; would I do it again, probably. I got to mingle with folks far different from me, I got to try my poor Russian and that was fun but most of all I garnered another experience somewhat unbelievable but true, and best of all time away from the office.

Don't Call Me...

We are a call center so it is out job to take calls. We love calls, information calls but I just got off the phone from an automated,. another automated call the third or forth cal this week. This call was from National Financial Advisor.

I hate it when I am on the phone on a call when the phone starts ringing—this was not so bad when we had two operators but with one operator you have to place your caller on hold and answerer the incoming call. Great exasperation ensues when I answer the call and it’s a stupid automated sales call!! Most of the time there is really nothing one can do. Today the idiot caller actually left the name of the company. So I googled the name of the stated in the automated call and found their phone number and called them. Of course, I did not get a real person just an answering machine . I left a message to take my organization off their calling list. If they don’t, the next time they call I am going to turn them over to the Attorney General’s office. I Know it’s just a threat and the AG’s office probably won’t do anything but jut maybe the threat is enough to make them think twice.

Empowerment

It’s slowing up as we head into out State’s holiday weekend—which is fine with me. Key staff are taking their vacation time and w are down to a skeleton crew as we get past this holiday season. This time is much like the time between Christmas and New Years, just keeping the doors open and the service flowing.

I am getting excited Dianne is scheduled to fly in tomorrow nigh and I will sure be glad to have her home and we an resume our normal lives but in the mean time I must admit I have done fairly well, being on my own once again. I have had no mishaps(nock on wood). In fact I was speaking with my co-worker Frank, this morning and I realized I had actually become empowered being on my own and taking care of myself. I should probably do something like this more often.

The first couple of years following my accident I actually was doing all kinds of things which empowered and led to my independence. I am surprised now that I have been a parent, how much freedom my parents allowed me. I remember one July day not unlike to day, with clear skies and hit winds blowing-after I had an explosive (teenage) event with my mother. I hitch hiked to Boise from my farm just East of Boise a couple of miles and spent the night on some strangers lawn, across the street from Cindy Larson’s house on Jefferson street. All I was wearing was sleeveless army fatigue shirt and cut offs—as the day had been hot I was laying on the concrete sidewalk just on the other side of a hedge which hid me from the street traffic, and the heat off of the concrete felt good an I was soon asleep only to be awaken chills as the pavement lost the last of the day’s heat. To this day I do not remember how I got Cindy’s attention but I did and she brought me down a blanket for the rest of the night.

There was desert on the bench above out farm. We owned two and half acres, which was undeveloped and covered with sagebrush, rabbits and tick’s. I remember a couple of times I had my mother drop me off and I would spend the night under the stars, by myself playing like I was a major survivalist. I would spend the night and eventually pack up and roll home; again no small feat for a comparably new spinal cord injured teenager.

I wouldn’t dare couldn’t dare do something as silly as this now at my advanced age and weight or maybe I have just done exactly that by dong this camp in/camp out this last week. I got back and forth to work without incident , crashed and reformatted my lap-top hung out with my son and daughter and barbecued. I purchased a wheelchair cushion and just took care of myself. I had a pretty good time.

Back to Work Tuesday.

Long day at the office. Overslept, caught up,on emails, returned calls and did the staff meeting. I covered for the boss at a transportation meeting whixh was uneventful until later on when I was contacted by a reporter from one of the local papers for a statement which ended my day by her showing up at the office for an interview. I think I have gotten myself into trouble but we will have to see what shows up in print. When will I learn ?

Pioneer Week!

Holiday! I did not go into the office I am off for the Pioneer Day holiday,(see last post)and I have been much more busy then usual--I usually sort of blow through holidays but day I was busy. I went do my local wheelchair shop to get a new cover for my manual wheelchair- the shop did not have one in stock, so I drove down to other shop and they had a whole cushion and I bought it. Buying something like this without fretting for ever: $80.00, just like that. What is happening to me? Back to the house, I swept the floors with my new broom I bought on Saturday and then I torched up the BBQ and cooked the Mexican flat meat I bought last week and I have had marinating ever since at the same time I was watching Matrix Revolution. I have been busy. guess I was missing work. But, alas tomorrow I am back to work and I feel good.

It's A short week, I have a broadcast Thursday and the boss is on vacation. The only thing which could better is to have Dianne come back sooner but she's back on Thursday night. It's a nice a hot summer day.

Family Mythology

Next week is Utah’s Founder Day—the 24th of July a state holiday. Everything State closes down and that mean I get a vacation! Next week’s holiday falls on a a weekend though, Friday, and since the State is on a four day week we employees have the option to take another day, in that holiday week for their holiday. I chose this coming Monday in an effort to stretch out my weekend. It seemed like the smart thing to do.

I am exhausted this morning—my goal for today is to just get through the day. Dianne flew out to Louisiana to log in some face-time with her family. He flight took off at 7:00 a.m. which meant that she had to be at the air terminal at 5:00 which meant she had to leave the house at 4:45p.m. Luckily, I did not have to drop Dianne off. My son- in law Gabe got the job—he said he had to be up anyway and would able to get to his office and get some work done before regular hours kicked in. The point I am laboring to make is that even though I did not have take Dianne to the airport, I still ended up being awake as Dianne got ready for her flight. I did not get much sleep and I am dragging today.

So it’s survival time—no more help into bed. I have been practicing transferring alone for the past could of weeks and I am pretty confident I will make the transfers without falling. I do need to get gab or Mark over and fill up my tires on my manual wheelchair so my breaks will hold better. Caution will be the operative word for the next week. Transfers are my week point we talked about the risk getting into or out of bed there is also risk in transferring on and off the commode. I have established a fairly secure “lock-down” system with a bungee cord. I just have to be regimented enough to use the cord each time and not get lazy—the shower is kind of risky too I just have to be careful.

So, I am alone again—granted I have family scattered all round this area, just minutes away. So, I know I will be OK—even if I do fall it would be just embarrassing having them have to come over and pick me off the floor buck ass naked. it would not be a pretty sight. If I did fall, and I did get them to come over they would pick me up, cover me up and the instant would be relegated to the family legend to be relived for every at family functions…I just would just as soon avoid this

For Me?

Its been a slow day and for the most part this afternoon I have been fighting off sleep. I have more then enough to keep me busy but it is just one of those slow Tuesday afternoons—even the phone calls are slow. I think I have had only four the whole day. I could be working on the newsletter or trying to book an interview for the last Thursday in August but nothing seems to click right now. I know I can get all these things done in due time I just cannot get motivated .

I was just on the brink of nodding out when I sensed some commotion up front. The other organize I share office space are conducting a number of job interviews today and the first interviewee got locked in the back of his van. Actually, the driver locked the keys in the van with wheelchair guy locked inside. Luckily its not too hot a day. The van is in the sun and the poor quad inside is definitely on a “slow bake”. The whole office was a scene from the keystone cops. I was running round looking for as hanger—the cops were called who eventually showed up, I did not find a hanger but someone canvassed the apartment building next door and found a seedy little guy who had a great hanger but the cop who showed up was not able to work the hanger to free the quad in the back of the van.
I was getting worried, even cynical me, pets and quads do not do well in closed up vehicles in the sun. I know this has happened to be enough times I can feel his heat.

I mean, really there was nothing on earth that I could do except keep out of peoples way, which I did fairly well. Since Mr Law Enforcement could not do the break-in, and no one really wanted to break any widows—which would have been sort of cool—I mean rally where are our priorities? The group caved and called a lock smith who came out and did the trick and soon our mid afternoon crises was free and still up for his job interview. This was enough activity and adrenalin to wake me up and keep me focused the rest of the afternoon.

I think this crises happened for my benefit…

Follow Thru

My goal this weekend was to find a carniceria: A Mexican meat market. Not THAT kind of meat market, butcher shop. The carniceriasI have been using for the past couple of years have moved or gone out of business. The Mexicans have all kinds of what I call “flat meats”, different cuts of meat cut very thin for different kinds of Mexican dishes I suppose. I have found the flat meat very convenient for the Asian cooking I like to do. This time of year I like to marinate the pieces of meat and barbeque the meat and serve over rice and mixed vegetables. I don’t work off a recipe but hen I was in university we lived for a while in “married housing” and made some very good friends from Malaysia. The summer were in married housing a lot of us in the complex congregated nightly round the playground/sand box with little hibachi’s and grill dinner. All of the Asians would bring their rice cookers and grill their flat meat and vegetables and we all shared. It was fun.

Dianne helped in my flat meat quest and found a couple carnicerias in Salt Lake. In fact going into Salt Lake on Friday evening in search for one of the carnicerias that we ended up eating at Café Med. Café Med is just a couple of blocks from one of the markets. Café Med is a nice place, hidden treasure, and kinda of upscale but not bad—actually Dianne was much better dressed then I. I don’t even think I wore shoes and basically hid my feet with my back pack. I know that’s cheep but hey, that’s how I roll.

The Mexican meat market we found used to be a cigarette shop. I was surprised to see the smoke shop gone but intrigued to see it had morphed into a meat market. We pulled the van into the parking area a little after 8:00 p.m. and I was surprised to see there was limited parking available not that there was sufficient parking but that all the parking were taken. Dianne finally parked on the other side of the building and I powered into the market. The place was wall to wall stuffed with Hispanic people. I am always impressed at being in a place where no English is spoke at all. Kids screaming, old ladies picking and pointing at stuff and everyone staring at the gringo in the power wheelchair. I powered myself over to the meat section looked at all the different kinds of meat wandering what they all meant. After a minute or two I finally got the attention of the butcher and pointed to wanted holding up three fingers to signify the poundage I wanted. Soon, I was grinning and back to the van.

I made to different marinades and slipped locked half the beef in each.I was going to grill on Sunday but Sunday came and we were hot and busy. We shopped and wandered all over the valley I even got rained on at Wal-mart. But the truth is I was exhausted by the time we got home and nothing got grilled last night and I don’t know just when I will be able to get back to my flat meat.

One More Sunday--

I am still amazed at how quickly Sundays even on three day weekends but be that as it may I am always to get back to work come Monday mornings. I have things to do an a four day week means I have to be moving quicker then I have been.

We going out to lunch shortly, Shanghai one of favorite places. This will be the second time this weekend. I am using Dianne's departure as the justification--really life is too short, we have the mans right now so why not. Friday we went to the Cafe Med and the meal was great-we had not intended to but just worked out that way. We really had a great time and should frequent the "Med" more often. The best part is I have had some "flat meat" I got at the Mex market on Friday(which was why we ended up going to Cafe Med if the first place) later on today I planning on cooking the meat up outside.

Hot Winds

It really is the perfect time of year for me. Outside the winds of heat are gusting, wet clothes dry in minutes. It’s perfect weather to sit outside and read, drink ice water and watch the world or neighborhood pass by. We’re sleeping with the windows wide open and the warm winds blow all night l9ng broken by the occasional train whistle. This morning I actually slept till 7:00 a.m. and just relaxed—ground some coffee n when Ani got up we went up to Beans and Brews and spent an hour or so watching the weirdos.

The best part of the day was dialing in to the video I produced yesterday and found the video working. I have it on this posting. I even called my boss to let her know, I never call my boss on the weekend for any reason.

http://www.ustream.tv/myvideos/1/1778394

Somebody Save Me

It’s Broadcast Day I usually love Broad Cast Day. I am excited some one new is coming into the office; the regular flow of the office is disrupted and we get to mess with broadcast equipment, computers and camera and the INTERNET. The broadcast is a small deal which feels like a big deal and I am sort of in charge. We have done enough broadcasts now the process is becoming routine at least it has been. Today is different. Readers might remember a couple of months ago our office was invaded and my laptop was stolen luckily the office had a older lap top which we have been using the past couple of months. However, recently however, we have been able to replace the stolen lap top with a new HP, a lap top with a camera built into the actually computer which I have mixed feeling but it seems to work good enough in our tests.

We did the broadcast and the broadcast seemed to come off OK…seemed is the operative word here. It has been more then five hours since the broadcast concluded and the video has yet to post. Today’s broadcast show up on the archived broadcasts but when you click on the video to show it the screen remains blank. Of course the boss usually does not car too much but today’s broadcast was with the boss and she wants to see it and she wanted her friends to see the broadcast as well. Then some agency person emailed the announcement to everywhere in the State system and of course everyone is getting a black screen and ‘yours truly’ gets called into the office. So, I get on the horn to “control” to see if what they can do. My main contact is a guy named Mazy, who has helped me in the past. I was surprised to get him, direct on my first dial, not message machine or anything. Mazy was on his way to some meeting or something but did accept my email with a link to the troubled page. I am just hoping one of their techs can resolve the issue.

We did everything the same way we always did except we were using new equipment but the process seemed the same. Oh did I mention this is the first broadcast we have done with out my partner Tory, who left this office the last of May. I have to admit Tory I a bit of a tech head. She has a knack for things electronic. Tory always finished the broadcasts and got the video posted with out issue. I doubt just her gone has made that much difference but then maybe it has…we miss you Tory…are you happy now? We really, really miss you.







































`

Papers Please!!

I expect Mondays to be weird especially Mondays following national holidays. It’s like weirdos have all this pent up energy from having to go a day with being able to harass public servants. . Yesterday my days took a serious turn into Weirdville I got an Instant Message from the office Manager, FDB, saying she needed rescued from a “walk in” who had stopped talking as now just sitting in the reception area and would not leave.

I had been working on the newest edition of our on-line newsletter and the task was not well and I thought I needed a break but I was not prepared for what I was about to roll into. FDB is a professional and little rattles her—FDB has been through a lot and seen most everything. So, I was fairly interested in who had rattled the pro and there she sat, a middle aged with gray hair braided into one long pig tail which she wore over shoulder down to below her wait. This women was dressed nicely-she was not your run of the mill homeless/crazy person who often drift into out building. She had what appeared to be a large handbag/pouch and was studying one of the documents FDB had thrown at her in order to shut her up. I never did get the name of this person but I am going to call her Olga, which I feel is a fine Russian name for this women who would at least acknowledge she had at one time come from Russia.

Olga, with a heavy Russian accent, so deep that I was not able to follow her conversation and on top of her accent was her question understanding of the English language, which I think she felt she understood very well—which I don’t think she did as much as she thought. Olga had a round Slavic/European framed in gray hair all hidden behind a huge set of glasses which comically magnified her eyes—those washed out blue eyes which suspiciously, darted back and forth. Olga demanded information, she did not ask for information, like some one from the KGB version of the AARP never believing a single word told her. Olga was convinced that our agency kept files and records on the folk we served. She wanted to know how long we kept files and could not understand that we did not keep such documents since we really don’t service clients, parients or consumers or what ever. Then Olga demanded our cards “ sort of like having you “papers” demanded. She next demanded lists of agency and programs which services people with disabilities all the while speaking in a desperate Russian accent. I asked Olga back to my office but she refused to move. I know she thought I was going to kidnap her and sell her to the white slave trade; I could really tell Olga operated under major illusions of grandeur.

Olga finally left after an hour or so of word games and after she thought she had tripped me up by admitting that I was trying to increase the number of people with disabilities, she interrupted this to mean I was trying to make he world disabled—she truly believed I was maniacal—which I am sure that I am just not in the way Olga perceives. I thought sure Olga would be back today demanding more documents of one kind or another. I documented Olga as a “drop in” some one who physically enters our office looking for services one way or another. But I have not seen her yet and the day is not over yet. She could be lurking in the hall way in an over coat and sunglasses.

I Can Do This!!

Not this Friday but next Friday Dianne is leaving for Louisiana for a wedding of one of her nieces and more importantly to spend some quality time with her family. Dianne only gets do see her family every couple of years or so and I know not being able to see her folks has been difficult on her. I will not be going with Dianne partially due to financial constraints but also physical. Homes are accessible, transportation and some fast traveling Dianne will be doing all round the Gulf Coast and the Carolin's.

I have only recently discovered that one of the reasons Dianne has put off traveling as much as she has is on account of me and my seemingly, declining ability of taking care of myself!! A couple of years ago I would have scoffed at such reasoning but of late I have to admit I have become somewhat concerned as I think of Dianne being gone for more then a week. And it’s not that Dianne provides my attendant care, if fact she provides very minimal attendant care. I am up in the morning way early, shower, shave and dressed and I am out the door most of the time without having to bother her at all. The point is I know that Dianne is there if I need her if I should slip and fall. It may take a while for her to respond but at least she will respond and be able to get me the attention I need to resolve any problem(s) I might be having. With Dianne leaving now, for at least a week maybe even longer I will be on my own…kinda, I have to admit I have been feeling kind of nervous and I never have had these feeling before.

But yesterday I decided, “you know what?” I am not going to let this challenge get me down or change my life style!! If something happens and I fall, I fall. If I fall I just get myself righted and take care of the problem True taking car of the problem will be a hassle but I am sure I will be up to what ever happens. The biggest issue since I doubt I would be able to actually lift or drag myself back into my chair I would have to get word out to son(s) or brother or cousins and worst case neighbors or emergency folk—I would be a little embarrassed but I would get bye, I always do. So in the next week or so I have to set up systems of communication incase something does happen, alert folks I need to and then just go with the flow. I am going to be OK.

Clanning

It’s Independence Day. Happy Fourth of July!! The Fourth of July brings back how strange living in my family was. My mom was Canadian as was my next oldest brother, Ross and it’s not that we did not celebrate the 4th as much as we tended to endure the 4th—and that is not fair either. Being raised LDS the July holiday we tended to really celebrate was the 24th of July, or Pioneer Day as the holiday is referenced in Utah. Never mind that the 4th was a national holiday, meaning my dad was free to stay home and work on the farm versus working on someone’s air conditioner for his job.

I say “endure” because we tended to have to work, especially when dad was home, and that was the case on weekends and national holidays. Dad was able to supervise, working on the house, shingling, or bringing in then hay, irrigating or what ever, depending when the holiday fell—in those days when a holiday was celebrated on the day it fell no matter what. But I do have to admit there was also a fair amount of joy to the day as the Fourth of July was also a day of “clanning” as meager as our clan tended tobe. In Boise the ‘clan’ consisted of the Smiths ,Bassets and some times Walls. Every once in a while there were the Haroldsons but basically it was Smiths and Bassets.

I believe my mom was the driving force so such an event, thinking back. There was a time when we would actually commandeer a number of picnic tables at Julie Davis Park and congregate for an entire afternoon. Hot dogs, hamburgers, Clover Club potato chips and water melons, cold from being housed the Boise River for hours before their cutting. There were tons of cousins in those days and chaos was everywhere but good chaos. Following the meal and the melon the kids disappeared to the playground of the park and the adults settled down to chatting and sleeping for a couple of hours. The event was over by five o clock, cows needed to be milked. If we had sparklers we let them off but I don’t remember any fire works of danger, ever. We may have gone to the fireworks usually at the Bronco Stadium once. But that is something we just did not do was stay up late with milking cows in the early morning or with dad having to work---we rarely went even the 24th we stayed home…sigh. I understand now, being an ‘old guy’ but I missed the event then.

Symptom Free Me

I was up for a couple of hours this morning when I realized I was not having any problems swallowing and I had slept great. This was the first day I have been symptom free of my recent illness I have had these past two weeks. Amazing! It has been a quiet day today. Many business and government offices have been closed for the holiday. The banks have been open though—I took off this morning and went up to State street to my bank and pulled out cash for the holiday which might be needed, especially the ice` cream truck which has been trolling the neighborhood lately.

I came home from the bank and with Dianne’s help threw together a potato salad. That’s about all we have done for the holiday. I have couple of packs of ‘illegal’s’ stashed I have had for a couple of years. I don’t think I’ll do them all but I want to do a couple though just for principles. I have to watch out for my neighbor though who has threatened to turn in neighbors who fire off ‘illegal’s’. A couple of rowdy neighbors have moved in the hood this last year and have already launched some, maybe I’ll just mix mine in with theirs.

Back and it Rains

First day back in the office in almost two weeks! Thank goodness the phones have been slow but still I felt the pressure. A good sized thunder storm just pushed through and I am sixty minutes from going home time and the skies don’t look yet as if they are clearing. I just checked regional weather maps and there maybe another cell making it’s self ready to push into North Salt Lake. I’ll just have to wait and see,

I have spent the day playing catch up.

It's Just Weird

Its weird when Sheelan died, some ten years now, I went through this period of seeing her, or just thinking I had just seen Sheelan everywhere. It was really a Hitchcock experience, I would just see the last of her red hair in her power wheelchair just turn a corner out of sight. Or, I would look up and see a wheelchair van like hers turning a corner and feel sure I had glimpsed her at the wheel. Of course Sheelan was never there, she couldn’t be she was dead and I was just processing.

I am going through something similar now with mom’s passing. I am not seeing mom as much as feeling she is still “there”. Four or five times a day I think of something I should write mom about, or tell her about on my Sunday call before remembering that mom is dead, she is not there anymore and I am snapped back to reality but I still have the feeling and I feel the loss all over again. Everytime the phone rings, for one instant, I think that’s mom but its not. It’s just weird.