Its weird when Sheelan died, some ten years now, I went through this period of seeing her, or just thinking I had just seen Sheelan everywhere. It was really a Hitchcock experience, I would just see the last of her red hair in her power wheelchair just turn a corner out of sight. Or, I would look up and see a wheelchair van like hers turning a corner and feel sure I had glimpsed her at the wheel. Of course Sheelan was never there, she couldn’t be she was dead and I was just processing.
I am going through something similar now with mom’s passing. I am not seeing mom as much as feeling she is still “there”. Four or five times a day I think of something I should write mom about, or tell her about on my Sunday call before remembering that mom is dead, she is not there anymore and I am snapped back to reality but I still have the feeling and I feel the loss all over again. Everytime the phone rings, for one instant, I think that’s mom but its not. It’s just weird.
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