Done!

Yesterday, was another medical day, a follow-up day from a number of weeks ago when we discovered the testosterone I was smearing on myself was not working As effectively as we would have liked so we started injecting the testosterone straight into the muscle and we wanted to see how this would increase my level of T” and what ever else is needed. I also scheduled my followup with my P.T. an the new A.T. vendor ‘seating Eval’ later in the afternoon so I took the entire day as ‘sick’( which could be an entire blog of itself and maybe one day will be but not today).

Dee Dee went with me to the appoints and my driver my advocate and my support. Dee Dee does so awesome in the medical settings—the day was a perfect day to spend together and the event took all the day—we left the house at 8:30 and did not get home till almost 5:00 PM hot and exhausted.

The meeting with my PT and the AT provider was later in the day and she introduced us to the new provider who was coming on to replace the former provider who they fired a couple of months ago due to poor service. It was during this meeting and evaluation I came upon a personal evaluation(of my self by my self) I am endeavoring to get some repairs on my manual chair and possibly on my power chair as well and we would like to get as much done with insurance as possible. It was during the evaluation I was asked “ do you do still drive?” and almost immediately, with out thinking I responded, ‘no, I don’t drive anymore’. I had to stop and wonder what I had just said—cause I know the PT looked at me like I had just sprouted a second head.

I had voluntarily stated I do not drive anymore and I felt comfortable saying it. What I was thinking at the time was no I don’t drive because sitting in the drivers seat hurt my butt so much I really don’t, not that I cannot drive but I choose not to drive. I know why my PT looked at me so strange because for a person with a disability who can drive and not drive is unthinkable. But you know what I think?... I am done driving—if I need to get somewhere public transit cannot take me the Dianne drives me—we seem together a lot of places—when Auni is over and we go out we often go in masse or I stay home. I AM a home body—I like my house my home and everything I need is on a bus route somewhere. I hate to drive—maybe not all the time but most of the time I just flat out hate to drive. I hate transferring from my chair to the drivers seat back, actual driving and dealing with the rest of the Utah driving public.

So I am ready, I think, I feel that I am but its only Wednesday—but when I ASKED I freely replied I was done driving—and it felt good.