Super Pooper

One of the most difficult things for me to deal with in my life after stenosis has been having to deal with suppositories. And really it's not the suppositories that is difficult - - and I must admit there are some real challenges for me with the use of the suppositories- - but what I am really vexed / concerned about is just the whole concept of pooping in bed.

I mean pooping is a major issue for people with disabilities especially for the spinal cord injuries like me. And I know it probably was from the onset 49 some years ago but I just don't remember it. I have a very distant memory of possibly pooping in bed but have no distinct memory of it which is weird and you would think I would. But I do remember is that on the day , one day years and years ago when I was in high school that good old Bora High School that one day in class I feel a poop coming on and for the first time excuse myself from class went down the bathroom so how about my pants off and on the commode and did my business and even got back on my chair and got myself together and went back to class. And from that point forward I think I was using the toilet again like everybody else. I'm sure that's how it happened so I wish I had a better finite memory of that event.

So, from that event forward I was suppository free until last January when I had the operation, the first operation the removal of the first stenosis and I've been back on suppositories eversense. I think the biggest issue is that I have to have Assistance on and off the commode actually I can get on the toilet I have done it once or twice but I have a hard time getting off the toilet once on. I think also people are not used to spinal cords doing it for themselves. I have to admit also that as barbaric and gross as using a suppository is it's kind of convenient to know when you're going to go and go and have it pretty much done with. I'm also finding that I think I evacuate my bowels better when I am sitting erect and letting gravity do its job. I think I do not evacuate as good when laying down then doing it in bed. It just makes sense. I mean last night for example I dumped a pretty good load and I should have been done but maybe an hour so later I squirted out a little bit more it's really spooks me.

I just can't seem to feel like I'm finished and sometimes I feel like I am at risk all day following a night when I use a suppository. True I have to admit, I have gotten used to wearing briefs, as much as I hate to wear them I have to accept the fact that at times I need them particularly when I'm not feeling sure of myself after a night and a questionable suppository use. This experience has been so enlightening to me I understand so much more about my fellow beings who are spinal cord injured. I can't believe it's taking me so long to understand these folks and what they've had to go through that I have not. I am so lucky. I mean I've got about forty eight years without having to act like a real spinal cord injured individual. I just amaze myself?