Good As New

There is no excuse for me to have as few postings to this blog as I am posting these days. Just not doing it which is sad because I'm capable so much more. Strange as it is the most important thing that happened to me this last week was the repair of my broken tooth. Seriously, the tooth took first place pushing my stenosis or non-stenosis to the back burner. I guess that just shows you where my priorities lie.

As you know I sheered off the front of my left front tooth! However as blessed beyond report because for the amount of enamel shed no nerve endings were exposed. I cannot believe how that happened but it did. To make matters worse when contacting my dentist he indicated he was overbooked, overwhelmed(his office person) and that I would not be able to get in for a week from that Friday which would been more than a week and I was terrified that my funky tooth which shed more enamel and eventually expose the nerve. However Dianne went to bat and got me in the coming Friday to assist three or four days and even that kind terrified me. However as the week went on and nothing happened to my tooth I became more and more confident that things turn out okay at least I would not find myself writing in bed in the middle of the night embedded in pain, oral pain – – the most painful dilemmas of them all.

Finally, Friday morning arrived. Friday the end of the work week and more important the last day for three day weekend for Memorial Day. I really expected the sea people lined up popped into the hall waiting for Drew's attention but when we got there I was almost all but deserted. I got stuck in the elevator will actually not stuck in the elevator elevator wasn't working in the repair guys there trying to get it going. He finally got the doors open and got me upstairs and time for my appointment didn't make any difference there was nobody else there except us. Don't know what they were thinking of what they didn't look slammed to me. Of course you to rewrite in and I love this chair because it allows me did just tip back and get writing the whole dental thing. I was spooked for a minute when after examination Drew indicate that I was in luck, I would not need any anesthetic! No anesthetic!! This of course was a faith experiment. You know like when you're in one of those weird groups and their leader has everyone to the right step behind the person and the person close their eyes and fall back having faith that person to the right will catch them. Well, that's just fine for touchy-feely but real-life, sitting in the chair tilted back, with a short statured gnome with a loaded drill is quite another act of faith. This truly is flying without a net. Of course Drew assured me the instant any discomfort was felt that he would stop and go to Novocain. Again well and fine, I'm the one who still going to feel the discomfort not him. Oh well.

I passed! I passed my ordeal of faith challenge. In 10 to 15 minutes Drew had smoothed out the broken tips of the tooth buffed up the rough edges of the fascia that had been exposed or lost and then applied his magic solution and built up the tooth to look like it's twin on its right-hand side. I'm always amazed at Drew's artistic side he really should've been a sculptor…I do not give the guy enough credit. He really is a good dentist and I have appreciated him be in there over the years. And Drew was right I felt no pain he drilled he buffed and sanded and smoke did come up little bit not much but I got out of the whole ordeal without Novocain – – I could actually eat something had I wanted to following the experience. Dianne says the tooth looks good but from the way the tooth feels my tongue it feels hugely oversized, blunt and ineffective but look at it in the mirror the tooth looks okay.

So got okay looking tooth, it's functional and will get me through a few more years hopefully. Still feels like a club compared to a knife as long as it gets you through a steak, tortillas are a morning burrito I'm okay. However, Drew did say I must stop using my teeth as tools…

It's Complicated

Last couple nights have been pretty rough. Come in on a couple weeks now maybe even a couple months, truth be told. My spasticity is increasing I have not want to admit it but I now have. I have noticed the increase in tone that only in the mornings when I'm trying to address but also lately I'm feeling the tone at night in bed. I now realize the tone is been but I've been trying to ignore it trying to find a better way to sleep, just in my weight here in body position there. My efforts have kind of work but the last couple days even that is beginning to fail.

Couple days ago when I went to my OT/PT session by therapist asked what I want to do, of course letting me make the decision, and I didn't have anything really especially in the area of occupational therapy. He usually just has me work on weights when I'm there at the facility. Many times he actually comes to my home and worked with me at the home front. Will on Monday I told him that a little concerned about my right hand and my forefinger that was not extending the way that usually did. So we begin massaging my hand indicating that the tendons her tight and he had seen seen that and was a little concerned. He then asked if I'd be interested in using the standing frame and of course I jumped at that. I really do enjoy getting up and the standing frames are fun for me in that aspect. So it was a bit of a challenge that took three of the staff but we did stuff me into the standing frame and got me up. We did this primarily because my tone was so great – – for those of you who aren't aware tone is the word used for spasticity. I didn't know this until they start throwing it around at the sniff and then the acute-care facility. So I was in the standing frame fighting the tone and little bit by little bit the foot tone began to dissipate. My OT had me up 20 minutes then he would lower me for about five minutes and then bring me up again for another 20 until I completed out the hour. It was a bit of a challenge but I enjoyed the experience. I did notice that my tone was diminished for the rest of the day, oh it was still there but nothing like before. i.e. even noticed when I went to bed less spasticity when I hit the mattress than usual which I thought was a good sign. Sometime around 2 o'clock I guess, I awoke to not necessarily pain and not necessarily tone but something was happening to my body and was uncomfortable – – not quite buzzing but soar like buzzing sort of like a burning sensation but not painful, not what I would envision has pain. But what I was feeling was definite discomfort and it frightened me. That's all I needed was one more thing to come undone. But soon the rest of the night I was awake trying to whether this new sensational storm of discomfort and it finally dissipated and became quite manageable. It took me a while to to link the discomfort to I think was the experience is standing in the standing frame so long. But I would do it again, I think. This experience with the experience of the tone is enough for me to force me to contact my doc, my neurosurgeon bring it out to him to see what they say. I have a couple of the docs I might run it past first just to see what they think about the severity of the situation. There's some other factors involved as well that will keep me from seeing the Doc or at least be in hospitalized for another 15 to 20 days – – it's complicated.

Now I relate that story to fill you in on what happened today. I just got back from the Goodwill store and picked up a couple books. I wanted to have some reading available in case unconfined for who knows how long. Dianne fixed the remainder of the soup she'd made earlier in the week and had some corn tortillas which is been warmed up. These were leftovers from last night soup and so they were crisp around the edges. As I bit into one I immediately crunched in the something stone like can of course it was enamel had broken my front tooth. I was flooded with all kinds of emotions mainly why now, why me, don't have enough on my plate? I waited but the pain did not come. I mean I lost a lot of my front tooth it should exposed the pulp but somehow the pain did not come. Then I realized even with all my tone I really don't have pain, discomfort yes no pain. I called my dentist and of course his overbooked try to put me off till next Friday but finally squeezed me in on this Friday, day after tomorrow. I'm just praying that the pain will hold off that long. I don't know how I'm going to eat until then especially hard foods not that I'm looking for hard foods to eat everything seems to go through the front teeth first so I'll have to figure that out.

So there you have – – I am one lucky dude. Have supposed to think before I could be in so much more pain and problems right now. So once again we need to suck it up and enjoy my life each day I have my life.

Knock At The Door

No actually I feel pretty good all things considered. I was up last night till 2 AM and y'all know how much I hate staying up late but last night was weird. I couldn't breathe my nose is all plugged up I think it may have been analogy I don't know but still it was pretty scary for me. It's not like this is never happened before it has and I go through all kinds of scenarios of my mind about what is going on. I should just accept the fact that I just have to wait it out and eventually I will start breathing again… But what if I don't? What if I have to go on oxygen start dragging around one of those green tubes. I just don't know how I could deal with that legacy do all the other old parts do. Still, don't want to have to do that they don't want to have to be scared in the middle of the night. But it's okay around 2 o'clock my nose started decongestant in a few minutes later I was asleep.

I didn't sleep long however I think I was probably awake by 5:30 AM or 6 AM. Tried to force myself to get back in the slumber land but it didn't happen and I knew that it wouldn't. Then I dropped the controls to my power bed or electric bed! This really is a fly got a fix got a figure out some way to have a book or something that will not let the trolls drop when I do it all the time and I got a stop. This morning I dropped the controls while my bed was tilted up and I was sort of high and it took me forever to snag the controls off the floor. Luckily had access to my bungee cord which I used to drag on the floor and snag the cord and drag up the controls allowing me finally to jump in my chair. This took at least an hour if not two hours because all the time I was just about falling out of the bed in fact my legs did fall off the bed and headed drag my ass literally backup onto the mattress.

Oh I forgot to say that last night Dianne found another wound up my ass and she dressed the wound with the magic tape and I pray it will stop the degradation of the wound. I don't know though I don't think it is and is cushion thing I noticed or worse me there's something inside my body saying it's time shutdown it's happy trails time. I hope not unlike to be around for a while longer will see. Seriously.

Once I was up it still took me a couple hours to get dressed and and I'm wearing shorts! Even if it's not the end of the world for me is it a view of things to come will I continue to debilitate at this rate? Can I stand that? I really need to get things done I really need to start doing things I have always wanted to do . Time is short in the here knock at the door…

Perspective Perspective Perspective

It's a cold and rainy Sunday, quite a shock after yesterday's 84° and lots of sunshine but lots of wind. I knew today was coming but still I miss the warm weather. It must be patient. However the upside is that you spend a great deal of the day in my chair leaning back to take the weight off my butt. Last night getting to bed after Dianne gave me shower and found skin breakdown on my right hip. It's small but still a skin breakdown which raises all kinds of red flags. I'm not sure what the culprit is but I sort of think it's the cushion I've been using the last couple days. It's got a harder surface than I have been using. And I think that is caused the skin issue. Dianne of course put a dressing on the wound site.. I am also wondering if the foot pedals may have some impact on the wound as well. The hangers have a lot of good points going for perhaps the best is that it certainly reduces my size of the chair making a lot easier to get around in the house. But my right foot keeps coming off the plate I think it causes spasticity as well as pressure on that right hip. I could get really depressed with this information as well as feelings it causes but put in perspective with issues many of my friends with disabilities are going through I have to be thankful that we caught it in time and hopefully about the blogger under control. I have noticed with these hangers that getting dressed is also a major challenge as well as transferring from the bed to the chair. So I think perhaps tomorrow I will try to change out the foot pedals for the old boxes and deals those until we figure out a new system. We should be meeting with the durable medical guy this next week sometime and hopefully he will have some answers. Hopefully will also get a new more protective cushion. Still, it's sort of slows me down and limits what I'm able to do – – again perspective, perspective, perspective.

First World Problems

10:30 AM And I'm up rolling around the house, Basically dressed and trying hard not to have meltdown. It's not that I have not had my morning coffee hate to be so shallow as to have my coffee are not had my coffee be the the D terminer of my day. However it is true,I have not made the coffee Because the coffeemakers not plugged in and I cannot reach the plug-in or the wall socket to plug the coffee maker in – – after that is just a simple matter of pushed the “on”. Also I noted when I got up this morning transferring to my power chair from the bed that my power chair had not been charged even though Dianne , last night, took special efforts to ensure the charger was plugged into my chair. Somehow, sometime yesterday the power source from the wall to the charger is been interrupted or unplugged. It is just so frustrating To have so many things seemingly important in my life out of my control. Coffeemaker this is the second time this week someone has unplugged the coffee maker for whatever reason and not plugged the device inWhen they were finished. In all honesty I think I may have been the one who unplugged the coffee maker when I had The can opener plugged in when I had to open a can of peppers. The issue is I cannot reach the plug-in/wall sockets. The best solution I think is to run some sort of a power strip behind the coffee maker or to the side of the coffee maker. There are three or four devices on the coffee island or the coffee pan: Coffeemaker, coffee grinder and can opener. Now I don't mind plugging and unplugging the device to operate just like can reach the socket plug-in that I get my frustration going. So if we had a power strip plugged into the socket That I can reach I will still have access the power via the strip solving the problems.

Now the problem with the power chair is another issue is just hard to tell if you charging unless you actually have access or able to see the green charging light. Just have to make sure all things are Plugged and working. One alternative to this issue is to have access to other chargers and I do have access to other chargers but not accessible to me at the present in a fit of cleaning frenzy a few weeks ago I had all the chargers rounded up stuffed into a box thrown up on a shelf and I can't reach. Sure enough now that I need them I do not have access to them. So now I'm going to Get one of the chargers and place it where I can reach it so I can use it when I need to. The upside of this whole problem is that I still have probably have to charge on my chair which means I can get about anyplace I need to get to today without problem. I just have to make sure I keep an eye on the power indicator. And I might even today if I can get one of the Chargers operational plug-in to a charger and read a couple hours our work on the computer while my batteries charge enough for the rest the day.

True, these are truly First World problems I know but Third World are not these are my problems with my responsibility to get it fixed.

Funny New Guy--FNG

I was supposed to have physical therapy today but it just so happens that I also have a meeting with my internist today as well. This is the same internist I was supposed to have met with a month ago when I was trapped in my van with lift that would not deploy. This was to be met first time meeting with the Doc and since I stood him up once before and did not think it wise to do it again. In fact so committed to today's meeting that that even drove my power chair to the docs office choosing to not ride in the van for fear of a duplication of events.

My internist's office is not far from the house in fact it's in the same complex of buildings where I was recently housed for my acute rehab phase. This is a new medical home complex – – everything I need medically speaking is here or at Tosh which I've written about already. I don't know why but I have been somewhat dreading this meeting with the Internist. The doctor was recommended by my physiatrist and for some reason I just didn't trust My physiatrist. I know this is irrational but hey It's the way I was feeling. I was surprised because I thought I was going to be Dianne to the building but she passed me as I was pulling into the medical complex. We caught up with each other at the front door and on up. We checked in and waited – – The wait was not too long And eventually we had our intake person/Dr./intern begin the process which was quite lengthily. I have to admit I was pretty impressed with the amount of time this Doc spent with us. Dianne informed me that having an intern do the workout is not a bad thing since they are new and are trying to do as good a job as they can which in some cases better than the old pros. This of course made sense to me and it's how I felt at the end of the interview. It was then we were allowed to speak with the new doc I'm going to be working with now on on all things medical.

I was quite astounded when the new doc walked in with flowing, long brown hair And sharp chiseled features Looking like a Simpson character come to life. The guy was you in fact I would've thought the interim was the attending in the attending the engine had I not known better. Dianne was smitten which ensure is more than normal. But the guy seems to know we still and I know my doc, the physiatrist , but not directly wrong. I have to admit I was more than impressed with the selection. I think I'm going to look forward to working with my new doc.I am not sure how these docs all will work together but they seem to be interested in doing so – – all the files can be accessed by these medical guys – – these medical young guys who knows everything about medicine and new technology at the two to get some of the medical superhero. However I know they are not that's okay Sometimes just the illusion is enough.

Mourning

I don't think I'm depressed actually I think I'm actually doing pretty good. I am home at min assistAnd looking forward to more independence and on the involvement with my physical therapist and occupational therapist. However it seems that I am mourning Something. I think I may have resisted this at first that I am morning something but I realize I've been talking about having to accept the “new me” a lot these days, Enough that I think folks are becoming concerned.

Over the past couple weeks I've had it drilled into my head by OT/PT and Mds that I am not the person I used to be especially since the operations and neck fusions have endured the Past few months or year or so. I've had to realize that rather try to do the things that I used to do accept the fact that it's not the same body that I used to have and sadly it will never be the same body that I used to have. I know this is not rocket science it should be easy to accept it is taken me a while to get this frame of mind. And suppose I guess I could be mourning the light I recently gave up when I chose to have spinal surgery for the stenosis issues – – and I didn't have a choice I had to have this work done are I was going to have to give up a lot more than I have. So I'm glad that I had the work done and now I'm just dealing with becoming the new me, the new medications, the dull affect, the trying harder just to maintain what was so simple before. I'm thankful however, that with all this I have to accept I can do this at home with equipment that allows me to preserve my self-respect and independence and the loving and supportive wife And family which allowing me to do all this.

You Are What You Eat – – Friday Musings

One of the largest challenges I face in my life is being overweight. I cannot believe how overweight I am. 60 years ago or even 50 years ago that you asked or told me that I was going to be overweight fat I would've told you you're up the night. There is no way I would be overweight as much as I am today. However life has a way of creeping up on – – meal after meal after that significant disability that truly challenges you as far as losing weight goes. I can probably blame a lot of people in a lot of situations for my condition of being fat but in the end I have to blame myself. I am the one who ate all the calories that make me who I am today.

My weight gain came to a head during my stay at the skilled nursing facility from November to March of this last year. I was served regular large meals. I did not realize what I was doing eating the way that I was, I kind of figured that they had a dietitian on staff who prepared our meals with weight gain in mind but boy was I wrong on that. I think I gained 20 pounds while at the sniff – –Then when I got to acute-care I realized what I had done and I counseled with their dietitian and developed at least basic weight reduction plan which basically was limiting myself to 1800 cal a day – – 600 a meal. And I have been maintaining ever since plus Dianne has me on probiotics which I'm not really sure what that is something is working. I have lost about 20 pounds since we started this regimen. It's kind of hard to be hungry all the time but the end result I'm sure will be well worth being constantly hungry. I'm going to try to maintain the diet for as long as I can if not for the rest of my life. I guess it's only natural to realize food is your enemy at some point in your life and take steps to minify the results of eating to the system. I know if I can lose a significant amount of weight my whole life we better i.e. dressing, toileting, transfers and appearance – – the whole 9 yards. It's hard though at least I think it is but really 600 cal is quite a bit once you get used to and don't fudge when family meals are involved. And not to forget the exercise piece. I'm fortunate to have a arm bike An upper gym. Now I just have to use them religiously.

I love to cook and actually I love to eat. I love to eat things that are good for me butter, turkey skin, bacon and eggs, steak and potatoes really things that make life worth living but really do you in.But this is the new me and this is the new life I have to live it's not like the old life and I have to accept that. This I can do.

Extortion Plane And Simple!

Finally I will attempt to blog that has nothing to do with my current rehabilitation or disability. I know that strange but let's see if we can do it. One of the delights of my life is being able to do simple tasks around the house. I mean there really is not a whole lot that I can do. I don't mow the lawn, however I kind of help holding the electric cord to the lawnmower Dianne (who does mow the lawn) has an easier task. I don't or can't do a lot of stuff men traditionally do round the house. Appliance repair, cleaning the garage, house painting inside or out even things like changing light bulbs is out of my domain. However I can wash dishes. In fact I have asink which was constructed for me—built low enough for a wheelchair user to use. Dish washing is one of the activities I have missed most the past year or so I have been incapacitated or away from home. So, I was bummed when my sink began backing up: thick, grainy black ugly gunk from the bowels of the sewer. Dianne's sink was spared for awhile but eventually the big sinks were also backing up.

Dianne worked all the remedy's we have used in the past, boiling water, Draino and Draino clones by the gallon and of course the blue water snake but nothing would move the mass. Some times the sinks would empty overnight but always fill up when either of the sinks were used. We finally had to swallow the bitter pill and call the plumber! We use the Anytime Plumber guys. They are a bit more expensive but they're quick to respond, clean and nice. Anytime also seems to be honest and drive beautiful red trucks.

Yesterday my therapy day so I was gone when Tyrle, the plumber arrived—when I got there were tools everywhere. Tyrle and Dianne were at the table going over the options and probable bill. It was not pretty scene. Tyrle was on his phone calling base with his findings. Tryele seemed like a nice kid but Tyrle was only the messenger, the writer of numbers—the great decider would come later with final judgment. The great and terrible Nick. And true to Tyrle's foretelling great and terrible Nick did show up with a had written ledger with a number of bottom lines each way more expensive then the last. Nick seemed like a nice guy in an arm broker sort of way. Nick is stocky, quite broad but not fat. Nick is solved like a bouncer at a bar you don't want to mix it up with our miss a payment. He shaves his head so Nick has got this bullet Head being going on. Nick's sly he's been doing this for a long time knows how to put it across knows how to cross the bottom-line, at a push the buttons let the customer twist until just the right moment and then reel him in. He goes over each one of the option plans from the basic to the Cadillac. Then place the document in front of you like us full house hand of cards and wait for your decision. It's a bit of a racket I understand but still have to appreciate the finesse with which Nick pulled it off. He finally went over plans that went as high as $17,000 that they would be willing to contract out over time. He could tell we were not going to go for anything like that. It was then he suggested a much cheaper plan that he characterized as a crapshoot for cost infinitely less than the other options – – a crapshoot with the year warranty. We took it less than 500 bucks it look like a walk in the park comparatively speaking. So we made it through the day the wallet a little lighter but now it was gird up our loins the electrician comes on Thursday