It's Complicated

Last couple nights have been pretty rough. Come in on a couple weeks now maybe even a couple months, truth be told. My spasticity is increasing I have not want to admit it but I now have. I have noticed the increase in tone that only in the mornings when I'm trying to address but also lately I'm feeling the tone at night in bed. I now realize the tone is been but I've been trying to ignore it trying to find a better way to sleep, just in my weight here in body position there. My efforts have kind of work but the last couple days even that is beginning to fail.

Couple days ago when I went to my OT/PT session by therapist asked what I want to do, of course letting me make the decision, and I didn't have anything really especially in the area of occupational therapy. He usually just has me work on weights when I'm there at the facility. Many times he actually comes to my home and worked with me at the home front. Will on Monday I told him that a little concerned about my right hand and my forefinger that was not extending the way that usually did. So we begin massaging my hand indicating that the tendons her tight and he had seen seen that and was a little concerned. He then asked if I'd be interested in using the standing frame and of course I jumped at that. I really do enjoy getting up and the standing frames are fun for me in that aspect. So it was a bit of a challenge that took three of the staff but we did stuff me into the standing frame and got me up. We did this primarily because my tone was so great – – for those of you who aren't aware tone is the word used for spasticity. I didn't know this until they start throwing it around at the sniff and then the acute-care facility. So I was in the standing frame fighting the tone and little bit by little bit the foot tone began to dissipate. My OT had me up 20 minutes then he would lower me for about five minutes and then bring me up again for another 20 until I completed out the hour. It was a bit of a challenge but I enjoyed the experience. I did notice that my tone was diminished for the rest of the day, oh it was still there but nothing like before. i.e. even noticed when I went to bed less spasticity when I hit the mattress than usual which I thought was a good sign. Sometime around 2 o'clock I guess, I awoke to not necessarily pain and not necessarily tone but something was happening to my body and was uncomfortable – – not quite buzzing but soar like buzzing sort of like a burning sensation but not painful, not what I would envision has pain. But what I was feeling was definite discomfort and it frightened me. That's all I needed was one more thing to come undone. But soon the rest of the night I was awake trying to whether this new sensational storm of discomfort and it finally dissipated and became quite manageable. It took me a while to to link the discomfort to I think was the experience is standing in the standing frame so long. But I would do it again, I think. This experience with the experience of the tone is enough for me to force me to contact my doc, my neurosurgeon bring it out to him to see what they say. I have a couple of the docs I might run it past first just to see what they think about the severity of the situation. There's some other factors involved as well that will keep me from seeing the Doc or at least be in hospitalized for another 15 to 20 days – – it's complicated.

Now I relate that story to fill you in on what happened today. I just got back from the Goodwill store and picked up a couple books. I wanted to have some reading available in case unconfined for who knows how long. Dianne fixed the remainder of the soup she'd made earlier in the week and had some corn tortillas which is been warmed up. These were leftovers from last night soup and so they were crisp around the edges. As I bit into one I immediately crunched in the something stone like can of course it was enamel had broken my front tooth. I was flooded with all kinds of emotions mainly why now, why me, don't have enough on my plate? I waited but the pain did not come. I mean I lost a lot of my front tooth it should exposed the pulp but somehow the pain did not come. Then I realized even with all my tone I really don't have pain, discomfort yes no pain. I called my dentist and of course his overbooked try to put me off till next Friday but finally squeezed me in on this Friday, day after tomorrow. I'm just praying that the pain will hold off that long. I don't know how I'm going to eat until then especially hard foods not that I'm looking for hard foods to eat everything seems to go through the front teeth first so I'll have to figure that out.

So there you have – – I am one lucky dude. Have supposed to think before I could be in so much more pain and problems right now. So once again we need to suck it up and enjoy my life each day I have my life.