Shoe

one shoe

Shoes on a phone wire are one thing, you know, usually a pair of tennis shoes tied together and thrown over a phone wire. I notice them one day hanging there all droopy and I wonder what that story was. Bullies attacking the class whimp who carried all his gym stuff tightly wrapped inside his gym towel with the tennis shoes hung round the outside of the whole thing. The bullies grabbed the towel mercilessly pulled off the shoes and rolled the towel in one giant motion: tee shirt, trunks and jock flying to the wind. The panicked wimp tries vainly to recover the white cotton garments lost to the wind. The bully is now swinging the shoes over his head and launches the connected shoes, the centrifugal force pulls the shoes apart straining against each other till the center knot hits the telephone securing shoes securely onto the wire for the next year probably long. Yes, I know how the shoes got there what the better question is what happened to the pair of shoes? One day I am passing the monument and realize the shoes are no longer hanging there. I don’t know how long they have been gone they are just gone. Mystery. I wonder if the City has a special crew with a ladder truck which come round a couple times a year and “harvest” the shoes. What do these folks do with these “shoes of disgrace?” Or, maybe, there is a county road crew or a prison trusty program which goes round the state in orange jumpsuits and black plastic bags in which theuy stick the shoes after they send the smallest member of the crew usually named “Bug” out on the wire to cut the shoes free.

No. The hanging shoes or the disappearing shoes is not what intrigues me. What intrigues me is the one shoe sitting on the side of the road or in the road for that matter. I see this with gloves too but mostly shoes. What has happened to the other shoe? Is the mate of this wayward shoe work hard on one leg of an amputee—a person who needed but one shoe and discarded the other. The shoe I come across never new. Their old, beaten, used sometimes abused. I wonder sometimes, darkly, if the show is the result of a horrible vehicular accident. Person struck with such momentum that the shoe is hurled from the body, flies and comes to rest along the side of the road. The shoes stay there for weeks sometimes months but usually disappears one day when I notice all the other debris and junk is gone—one of those street sweeping machines has run down 3rd west and scoured the side of the road as best it can, a clean sweep. I wonder, sometimes, if I am ever hit by a car when I am going to work will my shoes fly off my feet before I come to a rest with “X”s on my eyes? If I ponder this too long I start getting nervous then scared the I “hug” the side of the road, as close to the wall as I can get glancing down at my feet to see how well the shoes are tied.

Warm Snow

Warm Snow 

What a great`day!! I took off this morning ready to go. Dianne dressed me in my red polyethylene poncho. It really is a crip poncho—a device made for someone who uses a wheelchair for mobility. The device actually works and keeps a person relatively dry. I just hate to wear it. It is totally gimp. Something someone grand dad or uncle invented to keep “Johnny” dry. But it really works…I just wish I could get past the goof factor.

I had to truck over to Human Services today for a meeting. I actually thought the weather was clearing out. I saw sunlight all morning then when I went out to go to my meeting I ran into horizontally blowing snow. “Real Choice” My buddy, 98.6, was there being Mr. 211 really cute. They run a cool operation over there, though and I appreciate all the call then send over to Access Utah. I held a lot of comments back, figuring I could fine tune what ever was created and turned loose. I feel that is the best way to work, work under the radar. There were some good comments and other folks just trying to hear them-selves talk. Sometime you just have to let the fluff float away.

The snow/sleet/hail started again just as I ventured back to the office. It did seem so bad though, I had burned two hours of my day in a bizarre if not entertaining meeting and it’s almost the last day of March and like Cecilia says it’s not so bad it’s a warm snow.

Hooky

Hubcap found in the road on way to the train.

I really hate missing work! I missed work today because I really felt sick during the night plus I heard a storm raging out side my window. My wheelchair lift is really broke now and I cannot use the lift independently safely. So, I dreaded thinking of motoring up to the train station I the rain or snow. So by the time 4:30 a.m. Rolled round I was sure was too ill to make it in. I have tons of sick time accrued and I am going to loose a lot of the time. So I figured I would use eight hours. It's Tuesday and the end of the month, calls have been slow and Cecilia is always trying to get rid of me so I know she would be ok with me being out of the office so I called in sick. My ten-o-clock my stomach had settled down and I really wanted to get my van into to the shop too get it fixed. I need to have the van dependable by next week. I Have to drive up to Ogden to do an in-service at the independent living center there and to meet with the center's new executive director.

I was showered and dressed by 12:00 and I had Dianne help me load my self into my van and I drove up to Mobility Solutions. I dropped off the van and came back on the train. I had to do it—drop of the van. In a sense I was doing work behavior, I had to have the van ready still I felt guilty. In fact I am sure that I will be called into the bosses office tomorrow. I had a couple of random honks while I was out on the road. I am sure one of the bosses kids or business associates. “Hey I saw Mark to day in his power chair rolling all over Sandy” Yep, I am a dead man. Tomorrow snow or shine I am going in.

Hooky

the air conditioner on again

They have the air conditioner on againin my office and it is cold as hell. I have a spinal cord injury, (c-4-c-5 spiral fracture) 1966. So, I have been living with the effect for nearly 40 years now. I am bunged up from my shoulders down, paralyzed not as bad as most C-4’s I know. The late great Superman, was a little higher then my lesion, he was a “floating head, I can move my arms, and legs to some degree. Actually, I am damn lucky. I am nearly totally independent. I used to be totally independent but I can no longer get myself back into the wheelchair should I fall out; which is happening more and more these days. About three times last. I can live with three times, more then three times and I begin to get worried. Anyway the point I am laboring to make is that I have a lot of spasticity from the spinal cord injury. This spasticity gets markedly worse when I get cold. When I am cold for an extended period of time my muscles tend to seize up a little making my movements jerky and somewhat painful. So, here I am sitting in my back office, wearing my felt poncho cursing who ever turned on the stupid air conditioning and waiting for five-o-clock. The rest of the staff think I look crazy but I don’t care if my black poncho keeps me warm and somewhat comfortable that’s OK with me.

Happy Easter!

Easter

One more milestone on the road to summer is here and ,now, almost past. Easter is quite low-key for us. Almost a non day holiday. Really much more religion centered then Christmas, though you would think it would be the other way round. Since Easter is mostly eggs and candy, plastic grass and baskets the market will only tolerate so much spending—sorta like Easter has limits—where as Christmas is the full blown commercial orgy with out financial limits.

<>Easter at our house is mostly for Ani, coloring eggs, Easter egg hunting, Easter breakfast and tons of time with Grandma...and sugar. Now, that Mark A has a small family these folks also needs to be blended into our celebration of the holidays but has not really happened as yet. Maybe it has to do with the “kids go with the mother thing”. So Bridget celebrates with us—Shelly and her “kids” will celebrate with Shannon/Karen. Mark will celebrate with Kristy's clan most of the time. This is just the way it is. Seems strange when you think about it. I should really get esoteric and start celebrating Passover. This would really freak the fam out.

Today's weather is the best we have had in weeks, slightly overcast, winds out of the south and almost 60 degrees, balmy. Won't last though today's winds are the result of the next band of storms moving in; should be here by tomorrow. April 1^st is close April Fools Day, but this minor holiday does not hardly count for anything holiday wise. Then Mother's Day: the birth canal for the summer holidays.

Blogs

NPR ran a great story about these guys who have written personal encyclopedias. I have been pondering the idea all day. What an interesting idea . One of the folks interviewed indicated that her life was not really interesting but it was still, a life lived and those following her would most likely find her (less then exciting) life most interesting. I love getting hold of pictures old and new showing “instants” caught on one media or another. What fascinates me is seeing part of the image which was not necessarily meant to be in the picture. Things like the buildings in a old parade picture, wall decorations in old family photos, books on tables. I think these encyclopedias would be the same information related to the reader which was not necessarily meant to be let out. I suppose you would start with the letter “a” and fill out everything you could think would pertain to your life beginning with the letter “A”. Like A=Address. I would list all my addresses. 602 South Latah, 2101 East Bergeson, 201 E. Fort, Kartcher Rd, 160 Canyon Street,Rm 122 Chafee Hall, Boise State University, 1814 Boise Avenue, Apt C, then to Garden City, Poctaello, Iona, Blackfoot, Salt Lake City and now Murray. You can see I have left out many of the street addresses lost to time but if i pondered for a while I bet I might remember eventually. Boy, the letter “F” would be interesting putting down all the old friends I have had. This could become a very long document. I think blogs are like this to a degree; snatches of thoughts caught at the moment you sit down to write. I blogs are the new webpages. I had and still have a website but blogs are much more convenient, a boiled down version of the website—a website for the common person. I am not sure how blogs will survive, but a sure they well, one way or another. If the blogs gain some form of permanence then they will be a peek into the persons life. I imagine that before too long blogs will be come more video then written and be more interesting then ever.

Feeling Friday

Feeling Friday 

I know I look positively goofy but getting bundled up togo out to the train at 6:30 am I am over whelmed with goofy feelings when Dianne handed me my “Black Diamond” fleece pullover. I was deciding between my parka an what ever else might be easier to wear. When she found the Black Diamond was happy. Dianne ran for the camera and there I am. The weather continues to be unsettled with spasms of rain, wind and today snow! It is Spring snow and that, to me , does not count as cold snow. Spring snow at this time of year is almost always cosmetic. It looks cold and intimidating but melts as soon as the snow hits the ground or you. You see I am wearing a sweater and I have a long sleeve “T” under that—the only skin exposed is my neck, head and hands so I'll be fine. I wear the Black Diamond like a hood, so even had I elected to to drive my Jazzy all the way up to the Train station I would have been just fine. However, I decided to take my van up the four blocks to the train station I would not be in the elements long enough to loose any significant body heat.

It's Easter weekend and most of the staff did not come in today. By two o-clock there was only four of us left, the phone were quiet, spo the boss sent us all home for the holiday. I had two hour I was not expecting and the weather downtown was not too bad so I explored a little wondering round
Arrow Press Square, home of the Blue Iguana, a renouned eating place in town. Arrow Press Square is a maze of restaurants, shops and other business' built into the cities old warehouse district. Great to look at but hell to access if you are in a wheelchair. I have heard the Blue Iguana is accessible but have never really explored the area to see how. Well, I found the path of access today so the after was somewhat constructive. I have a new place to go now. I found a couple of other restaurants I would like to try this Spring and Summer downtown.

Life in the Desert

I live in a desert, the area does not have cacti, sand dunes or vultures but still it is the desert. We regularly have enough water to comfortably get through the summer with out water warnings and “every other day” water scheduling. People seem so surprised when this kind of climate constraints happen, but , we DO live I a desert. So the weather we have been experiencing of late IS quite a surprise to me. If we have a rainy season I would day it is now. The rain had been falling steadily what seems for the longest time now. I wussed out again and brought my lift van into work yet again. I knew I had a lunch appointment down in midtown so I knew I was going to have to drive at lunch. I also knew I was going to have to get some gas somewhere along the way. The rain was falling bad last night (see image for yesterdays submission) so I elected to get up early today and gas up before I drove into the City. I do this at the local Sam’s Club, not so much for the few cents a gallon the petrol costs at Sam’s then other vendors but because if I can get the attention of a Sam’s employee they will actually pump the petrol, saving me the effort of having to transfer back into my wheelchair and lower myself to the tarmac etc, etc. Usually Sam’s has someone at the pumping island but not today. I circled round to the front to try to get someone’s attention in side the, market but no one was to be seen. So I figures what the hey I’ll just pump the gas myself, I can do this, it’s early and I am still strong—I am still good for maybe half a dozen transfers if I have to. So I download: transfer from the drivers seat to my Jazzy then down to the tarmac on my scary lift and round back of the van. Then wrestle with the locking gas cap. I finally manage to get the cap off the gas tank and manhandle the nozzle into the gas tank. Now comes the tricky part. I have to first take Sam's card and push the card in and our fast enough for the card to unregister where ever it has to actuate the rest of the gassing process. I just don''t have the hand function to do this get the damn thing to work. It's not even 7:00 am yet, no one else is at the pumping station. You have to get the whole picture, it 6:50 am , rain is falling and the pumping station is a good 70 yards away from the main store. I could wait till another gas patron shows up and I beg the person to take pity on me and do the whole thing for me. So, I make a decision right there and decide I am going to make the trek all the way to the main store and drag someone back and do the gas filling procedure.

The front of Sam's was pretty well deserted when I got there. I finally found a Kansas transplant told her my need and she agreed to come out and assist me. What a pain in the butt, but I was thankful and glad she readily helped me. Just part of living life as a quad. A pretty lucky quad at that. I should be pissed but I am not. I am just glad I was able to accomplish before I started my work day. The rain falls on all of us alike, sometimes that is all one can hope for.

Going Home

Ramping up to go home 

The Director is out today, she has to attend to family business so things are a bit relaxed round here today. It should not be that way but human nature: what can I say? It’s weird the second you know the boss is going to be out, no matter how much the boss is loved, a collective sigh of relief heard through out the office. People who had just light coughs yesterday call in sick today too ill to work. There are quasi-bosses running round the office and there is structure things continue to get done, especially with a big media event happening tomorrow. I imagine things will be busy all day when the boss gets back. It’s not like the boss doesn’t know. She sees the sick logs and she can see when “sick days” spike on the same days she is out. It’s not like the boss can never take time off. She certainly has earned it. I don’t think I have ever worked for a boss who has worked as hard for consumers as this one has. She has taken lot’s evening and weekends going to all parts of the state and country doing her job. So she has the comp time. I know I would take if I had it rather then loose it because I was afraid the office might go to hell if I weren’t there. You cannot let your staff hold you hostage. They will you know I am one.
Cecilia called in sick today. I have been back here by myself—it been a quiet day ten countable calls not good but not bad either just ten calls. Rain was actually falling pretty hard this morning as I left for work. I caved and brought the van in. This means I have to drive the van home. I hate to drive but I have to so here I go...

Hurry Up and Wait

Old Jazzy patiently waiting to go home.
Ms Candice Mazzo MPT came by the house last night. She is the physical therparist the insurance folks sent over to judge my worthiness in getting a new power (Jazzy) wheelchair; a very interesting process. This is the first time I have tried to get something as expensive as a power wheelchair from my carrier. Up till now I have used my insurances for the traditional items as tooth repair, MD visits, drugs and the occasional manual wheelchair chair. Now, however, feels like I am going up to the big leagues! So, strange, that my insurance carrier would send this professional over to do this evaluation of my physical condition. MPT Mazzo was a doll though and she brought her one year old with her. Now, one must realize that when Ms Mazzo first called it was last Thursday night and she wanted to come over Friday night for the evaluation. There was no way this was going to happen, with the house being in the throws of end of the week entropy, did not sound like Saturday or Sunday was an option either so I requested she come on Monday evening—which she did. The house looked OK, I was a bit stressed that she might let her daughter wonder on the floor but as it was Mazzo kept the baby with her the entire time. I was surprised at how enjoyable the process was, This young P.T. was pretty enamored with this fossil of a crip ( 40 ,years post trauma)who spoke her lingo, was actively working and wanted to continue to do so and all I needed to pull this off was a good word or two from her( gotta love the medical model) and the chair would be mine—still, must exercise patience. Yes, the experience was enjoyable, selling myself for 45 minutes. The child was beginning to melt down and I could sense the P.T. wanted to get out of the house and back to her life. I bet she would have promised me anything to end the interview, pack up and leave. She essentially did this too. “ I think I can write this up so you will get your power chair.” Cool. Now just wait for the processing.

Freezing

me 

It’s freezing in my office! The vent to the air conditioner is directly over my desk and the wind blows straight down onto my baldhead. I am thankful I had the good sense to wear one of my stocking hats today. So I am sitting, on my office with my headset stretched over my stocking hat, hunched over my computer terminal and typing as fast as I can to stay warm. The problem is that my office sits off the Conference Room which is good sized and when a goodly sized group of people inhabit that room for a meeting the temperature in the room goes up so staff turns on the “air” and cools the main office which also cools the side rooms too, namely me. It’s bad enough for able-bodied staff. My partner Cecilia has IMed me twice indicating she is freezing but me being a person with a spinal cord injury granted I am post almost 40 years but still the effect is the same: I am very susceptible to cold temperatures. It’s lunchtime and there is so much chaos out side my door it is just easier to sit here and blog my lunch hour away. I am not even partaking of the “free” lunch: tacos. There are times I am quite excited abo
ut catered tacos but not today, today I have too much to do and I am freezing.

Equinox Day

Sunday Shopping 

There! Its official its spring, came into day, very lion like. I woke in the middle of the night to wind and rain smashing itself against the windows but I drifted off back to sleep. I was surprised when I woke to snowflakes; I swear which were as big a child’s fist. After all it’s Vernal Equinox. I noticed years ago in college that on day of the equinox one can expect to see all four seasons represented. This manifestation is not constant every year but enough so that I am never surprised when the seasons appear and I am not depressed at the sight of snow so late I the year. I was pleased to note when I went out into the element to do the weekly shopping that the day was kinda warm. Not bad. I left my stocking hat on and left my jacket hanging up and forged to the market. I was so pleased with the new Season; I did not even let the “hang up” at check out bother me. I must have held up the checkout line for at least ten minutes as the clerks scampered back and forth over the market searching for product I could either not reach or find. In the true fashion of equinox weather, when I left the market for home, there was a huge dark cloud hanging over the darkish purple and pouting. I sensed if I lived in the Midwest, I would be searching cellar or something to hold on to because a twister would soon be appearing, but not today-just wind and rain still making the experience a bit uncomfortable. I loaded up as fast as my machinery would allow and got on home where I did get soaked getting into the house. I spent the rest of the day running Norton Uninstall trying to get unwanted things of my desktop. I made some progress but there are some “Hijackers” still lurking on the hard drive and I cannot seem to locate them. I guess I am still going to have to “Nuke” the hard drive sooner or later. Nuking any thing makes me nervous but I am going to have to do it. But, this will not be till later spring or summer…maybe Solstice. I am thinking of nuking my hard drive twice a year just so my system will run better, maybe summer and Winter Solstice.

Lucky Nickel

Lucky NIckel

Tomorrow is equinox, the first of Spring which mens today is the last full day of Winter. Blustery winds and clouds but some warmer temps. Warm enough to go to the neighbors and visit. Albert, my neighbor, was busy putting on a new screen door to his kitchen. A nice one too but the old one was nice too. The old door has great security bars which Al is planning to harvest those bars and put on other windows of his house—so the old screen door will still be there in spirit. As, I believe I have mentioned before, Al always stops what he is doing and talks with me. I must be careful though because Al always has things he has to get done. So I jabber for a while until I sense he is getting anxious then I leave. I watched him work on his door too. H e has some interesting problems with th new door. It seems the new door is a smaller door then the door he replaced. Al was trying to figure out how to add strips of wood to the door frame which, would allow the screen door work properly. This is going to take some heavy duty thinking and I realized I was probably holding up the progress of the project. As I was leaving Al reached into his pocket and handed me a coin and asked if I had seen one the coins before. It was shiny and new. I could tell this. Al told me this was one of the new nickel just minted. I had not heard of any new nickels being minted but here one was so I figured it had to be true. The nickel seemed smaller and lighter than my nickels. My first thought will the slot machines know the difference and this seemed most important at the moment. Albert assured me they were the same size. I had to get out of the so Al could get back to work. I handed the doing back but Al said for me to keep it. I t was my lucky nickel. Al was right as usual; because as I left his driveway rolling back to the house I felt very lucky.

My Buddy Josh

Mr 211


presentation

(The bottom image is me giving the presentation)

This is my buddy Josh. He is the director of 211 located at the Community Services Council. 211 is a information and referral(I&R) line for our county. 211 is a real I&R as apposed to Access Utah. Josh's line does about 60,000 calls a year we'll be doing well to break a few thousand this year. I am going to change that but I need Josh to show me the way. He is good. If we were gun slingers I would be dead in the street. I would have lines traced round my body and Josh would be headed for the “slammer”. Thank goodness we are not gunslingers, still I learn from Josh each time I am around him. Like today, Josh, actually it was Chuck (this is another story in it self), invited me over to 211 to address some of his new talent: neophyte information gunslingers. To apprise them of Access Utah and the niche we fill in the local I&R market. I thought this was very cool, not only was this a real training experience for his people but sprung me from my office on a Friday, a short Friday too since I bailed at 1:00. The only problem is I was less then professional-- I probably would have been more pro if Josh had not worn his “Friday” Zwieback shirt. So, I basically told the group about Access Utah and the service we provide but I had a great time doing this. The only way I made it through the event was that Kieth was sitting not far from me looking like NEO from the Matrix ad kept intimidating me back to reality.

Cecilia asked that I have a couple of picture taken for the annual report. And one of their staff is a budding image pro and she did the pics. Josh showed me it's ok to loosen up—smile and laugh a little, you know have a Food Bank cookie—life's short “He with the most crumbs wins” Josh is going to win...he's got all the cookies in the food bank.

Amazing

Go UTA

When I boarded Trax car 1010A, this morning, I was astonished to see the seat configuration presented in today’s image. The seats, which usually face each other, had been removed to greatly increase the area in which folks wheelchairs and scooter might be able to ride. I was at first. Like I said, asto0nished, then I was skeptical as I eyed the area closer. “How was this really going to assist folks in wheeled devices ride the Trax?” True, with the bench seats gone on this one side, with the added area in the front of the car, right behind the driver’s station Trax could conceivably carry a good sized heard of folks with disabilities. Just as nature abhors a vacuum so do people with disabilities and that space, no matter how large will eventually be filled with wheeled transportation devices. I called my friend Sherry R-at the Utah Transit Authority (UTA) to see if the modifications made to 1010-A
Was to be a system wide change—the small answer was “?” The large answer was ( and one I was not ready for at all ) the Authority was going to begin ordering low-floor cars. This is a monumental piece of information for me—and should be for all people who use Trax. This means that people using wheeled devices for mobility will be able to access these low-floored
( let’s call them low-riders) cars anywhere along the boarding area, like in San Diego, California . This means not having to be crammed into the small space behind the driver’s area because that is the only place where folk using wheeled devices can access. This means-or should mean- that a person with a mobility device can access the train anywhere this is car low enough to just roll on from the sidewalk . This means no more tearing up the walkway next to the train trying to get to the first car, because that is the only car you can access before the driver pulls the train out. In all fairness, I might add that if the driver sees you racing up the sidewalk and you seem close enough to get to the front car in an acceptable time, and the driver likes you, the driver usually waits. But there is nothing more heartbreaking to be swinging round the end of the train and be racing up to the front to have the train pull out just as you get to the bottom of the mini-high block. I am sure it will take a while before the low-riders go into effect system wind, so I am sure the mini-high blocks will be round for a long time to come. I can live with that knowing that change is on it’s way.

Shots from the Hip

a.m.palooka

I am getting pretty good “shooting from the hip”. I have this new trick I do now, when I wish to covertly capture an image . As I have mentioned before. I now carry my digital round my neck so when I get a chance I can have easy access to the camera and greatly increase the probability of success when taking a picture. So, the camera is tethered round my neck sitting in my lap all I have to do is push the button with my thumb and the flash fires and I have a picture. I am still learning this process but think I am getting better. I have deleted a lot of images of ceilings, roofs of building and fingers. I have got a couple of fairly good captures though. I have to be subtle though, slowly turning my chair till I am face at the object I wish to “capture” then waiting till no one seems to be noticing me or looking in my direction. I then “thumb” the button and presto. I thought the flash would alert the folks but if they are not paying direct attention to what I am doing the seem not to even notice the event. I find this most interesting. I am not using my LCD anymore, in an effort to conserve my power so I have to wait till I can get somewhere nd then check to see what I have taken and the valure of these images. Even, then I have to really wait till I can get to a computer where I can down load the images to really appreciate the quality of the images I have harvested.

The image above is called A.M. Palooka. I was pulled from my morning revelry by a tapping sound and I caught arms flailing in my peripheral vision. When I looked direct, I saw this young man punching one of the loops hanging from the over head bars, in a boxer fashion. He was rolling his fists to hit the loop as if it were a punching bag. I really wish I had been fortunate enough to have gotten one of those images but alas I was just lucky to get this image of him standing in the rear of the car waiting to deboard the train.

Currently Reading: Science Fiction: The Best of 2002

Just Anothert Spot on the Floor

sotf

The spot on the floor is just about dry this morning from the drenching it received yesterday. When we opened the office from being away all weekend, I noticed a bug on my partner’s floor. The bug was a cockroach and the bug was still alive. There was a gasp from Cecilia as I mentioned my find, followed by a scream of movie potential when she stepped round her desk and witnessed the little critter wake from it’s slumber and begin making it’s way across the floor. Cecilia is immaculate; her office is beautiful, nicely lit, well kept, a true library of order. I think the roach must have got lost on his way over to my space. That pace in our building which constantly hovers close to “1” on the 0-1 chaos scale.

There was only one roach though and looked all over my office and the kitchen area. Now, I have all kinds of things in my drawers I am sure roaches would love i.e., crackers, nuts, and salted peanuts. But I could not see any sign of roach presence, not that I would know a roach if one came up and shook hands with me. So, why Cecelia’s office? I almost think the insect was “planted” there, but why and when? Well, suffice it to say the little guy did not last long. Cecilia, after pulling her self together, ripped of a long line of expletives I would have been proud to voice and grabbed a bottle of Windex in one hand and can of Glade air freshener in the other and pounced on the unsuspecting beast. I was a amazed at the chemical reaction of the glass cleaner air freshener: a bubbling, foaming aromatic encasement of death; Cecilia’s version of scented napalm. I doubt the creature’s demise came from drowning and not from any of the wonderful chemicals Dow loaded into either of the products used for the murder weapons. Shane got “graves detail” finally wandered in using a zip lock for a body bag. So ended the short life of Joe Bug just another spot on the floor.

Lost Opportunities

Morning Trax 

I have started hanging my digital camera round my neck so when I come upon a likely candidate for a picture I will have the camera ready to take action. This has been handy for buildings and the occasional moving trains and such...items with out claims to a soul or self. I am still too to shy to ask someone for their image. Today was one of those days when I would have loved to have the courage to have asked this ancient women riding on the bus this morning going in to work.

All the people with disabilities who ride the train have to enter the train on the first car of the train for a bunch reasons the main reason is the first of th train is the only car people with disabilities can access. This women who must have been late seventies or early eighties hobbled onto the train the stop after I got on. All bent over, clutching a cane bundled up in an over coat and leather shoes opened up at their tops from legs too large to lace tight. When a person access the train the driver has to come out of his cockpit, open the doors and lay down a metal ramp, they call the “bridge” then the person rolls or walks on board. Mike the driver lets the senior and she hobbles bast me and sits in one of the first seats available, in this case next a studious looking young Asian male. The train can be a rough ride sometimes with a fair amount of rocking, jerking as it trundles down the track. Well, Grandmother stretches her arm along the back of the seat and round this young student, who immediately bridles and pushes himself as far into wall of the car as physics will permit, to hold her self upright on her trip. The Asian student gets up at the next stop and moves three seats back.
It's a quiet trip today. Nobody is talking, lot of reading, listening to MP3 and staring out the windows. But grandmother is just jabbering up a storm mostly to her self. She has tried to engage a few of her fellow riders but really to no avail. She has never ridden the train before, this is apparent. Grandmother is sitting across the isle from me and engages me in mini-conversations. She asks a couple of times, when the train slows or begins turning as we get inner city if we can get off the train here or there; which if she had ever ridden the train would know the train stops at the designated stations on the route. I finally asked her what her destination was. And she then told me it was the Courthouse Station, which was the next stop. At the Courthouse stop everyone in the front car interested in Grandmother, and explained how to get to the courthouse from the station and cautioned her to be extra careful crossing the street. It was not yet 7:30 but the morning traffic was building caution was required. She hobbled off the car then I remembered by camera. I pulled the camera out of my jacket and tried to get a fist snap of her through the windows of the train but was not fast enough. I had lost my chance. I did not ask her what her business was at the courthouse that would have been way out of line. I speculated that what ever her reason had to be important to get this grandma out of bed this early on such a cold March morning: a grandsons appearance, maybe paying bail or maybe it was as the cancer survivor who is part of th first car group...maybe she had jury duty.

Holding out till Spring

Anakah 

The day seems cold compared to the past couple of days we have enjoyed. The forecast says cooler temps yet and possibly even snow by Tuesday, but you know what that's OK; because, I know Spring is holding off just a week or two away and I know I can outlast this Winter.

I watched “Meet Joe Black” today with Dianne. I don't know if I would file “Meet Joe Black” as great but I could watch it over and over. It's a good story, a little science fiction/fantasy, love story and mystery. The story met all my needs of a good movie except the way the movie ended. Sure, Joe Black( Brad Pitt) or Death returning the body back to it's rightful owner and him walking off with girl into the sunset or in this case the fire works with the MD daughter, Claire Forlani, of the Chairman of the board, Anthony Hopkins. What the movie never explainer, what I wanted to know was what happened to the Chairman's body after he and Joe Black go be hind the hill and the “deed” is done. If there was a few feet of footage covering this aspect, I would have been happy: “Mr Parrish Found Dead at 65th birthday party. Suspect: a mysterious drifter know only as Joe Black.” Now, that would have been cool. That is what I want to see out of a movie the tiering up of loose ends. Hopkins played a great role not only as a first rate Board chair—company` owner but what a great dad.! You sort of got a feeling he may have been a bit of a jerk while the girls were growing up but he was always their at least with his money. He kind of makes up for the lack of contact in the last week of his life. Hopkins give the common dads, like myself, a hope and a road map that it is not too late for us to be better, to love your kids with what ever time we might have left. Give them a hug and tell them you love them. This goes for the grandkids too. Anakah, one of my granddaughters spent the night. She and Dianne stayed up late watching cartoon movies and “Our Gang Comedies” I love all my granddaughters just wish I was as rich as Bill Parrish.

It Feels Natural

Jazzy 

Warm to day- warmer then it has been all year. Not yet really Spring warm but defiantly warmer. The kind of day which drives one out of the house and into the yard or garage Mark and Jasmine were over today and helped clean up `the garage. This was a grand start. We have much more to do with the end goal me getting back into the garage where I have my wood shop. I am trying to get too excited but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I'll we turning wood and making sticks my May. I just got off the computer Instant Messaging with my daughter Michelle. This is just too cool having the technology to have these types of discussions. We have the camera and microphones in place to have regular visits, over the INTERNET no cost on the phone. I am just amazed, makes Saturday night worth staying home. Ani is over for a sleep over so Dianne is happy and I am free to do what ever. It feels natural, like a John Denver song. It feels secure.
I really appreciated Mark and Jaz coming over and Shelly's attention. The help Mark provides helps so much. It is the getting older thing, I guess. We can do a lot but everything is harder and these little assists make aging in place possible. Bridget and Gabe were over a couple weeks ago and helped out in the yard, making the place more acceptable. Dianne and I appreciate all you do.

Carriage Cafe

cc 


cc1 

Too strange! I have been working in this section of downtown for about four years and I thought I new the restaurants pretty well.` As soon as a new place opens I get over there to check it out. I look mostly for wheelchair accessibility; this is what is most important to me. That is why I was so surprised yesterday when I was cutting though the Triad Center and low and behold stood a restaurant I had never seen before. The Carriage Cafe. This place is just a block away from my office and looks to add a great new place to go for lunch. It's not that I go out that much for lunch but I do it a couple of times a month. We stopped by the Carriage on the way back and toured the facility. It's great it has two stories with an elevator, a perfect place for group or business meetings. The basic lunch and dinner fare is sandwich and soup but they also serve a breakfast. The only draw back is they don't open till nine in the morning and they are closed weekends. The Carriage Cafe is just a block away from the Delta Center and the downtown End of the Line for the TRAX. I am truly surprised the restaurant is not open on the weekends especially during the summer with all the events happening downtown and the Gateway Mall. It seems to me the place would be perfect for a weekend dinner and glass of wine before or after one of the many downtown concerts. This would be a great option.

I took off after my DDS meeting today about 2:00. I had a couple hours to use so, I did not banking an shopping and came on home. Looks like a quiet Friday night.

Open House Open Mouth

morning train 

I just got back from an Open House all the way across
town. The program is new; the program is a resource
center for families with disabilities. An academic
think tank from up North put together a hefty grant. a
hefty five year grant actually and Dianne and I went
over to pay our respects, drop off some literature
east some “finger food” and be seen in our work
community. Survival in the State and private
non-profit community: be seen in the community pushing
your agenda. Lucky for me I was representing my office
plus the office I am housed in so I could take my time
( with in limits)but this was not the case for Dianne.
Dianne had to take the time as a lunch hour and
personal time—how stupid is that? All the players at
this open house are professionals she tends to work
with. Dianne was definitely working.

But while I was there I ran into my Buddy, Marty
from Logan. I like Marty. He is cool and honest which
is rare for an administrator. Marty is the image in
the phone booth in one of my prior blog entries. Marty
is the kind of guy who encourages you to move forward
and an be all you can be regardless of the danger
factor anyway, that is the way I am round Marty. He
laughs easy round me Marty is fun to make laugh.
Marty noticed that I was there with Dianne and her
indicated it was nice to see us out together. I agreed
with him it was nice to be out but is was “work
social” rather then “after work social”(AWS). I
illustrated to Marty that “work-social” is much easier
then the other, since there are unwritten and unsaid
guidelines we abide by at work. We know what we can
and cannot do in the particular situation we might be
in. AWS is much different , to me AWS is “spongy”
you are never quite sure where you stand. You may say
something particularly innocent on a Friday evening
with the “work crew” but by Monday could be totally
blown out of proportion. I got a little loud
pontificating about how certain elements certain
programs set up to work with folks with disabilities
are just glorified WAC’s(Work Activity Programs)
Marty laughed and laughed because he knew what I
meant.

So, I knew where I was and what I was a bout—no wine
being served here! I was good…I think . I guess I’ll
find out by Monday

SMILE

C200 Unbelievable. I did this great blog entry earlier this morning and now my computer has eaten the damn file. I know I saved the sucker—I saved it twice on media an on the hard drive. I have had this happen to me before. It’s no where and on top of that my digital camera is no-longer saving images. It’s a machine conspiracy aimed at me. What I have learned over the years of working with computer and other electronic data saving devices it best to know when to let go. I bet I have spent literally days trying to recover data. In the old days I was pretty good with my Norton Utilities I could always find the whole file if not bit’s and pieces of the document round the hard drive, enough so I could piece the document together. Nowadays, however, I am not familiar enough with the newer OS’s to even run a bootlegged data recovery software. So, what I have learned is to just write the damn thing over if it cannot be found or recovered with in a half hour’s time—and that’s what I am doing now. I’ll have to finish when I get home but this is a restart.

<>So as I was saying, the media will not register images. I know the media is good because I can save data onto the media(64 MB Compact Disk) but for some reason the camera no longer will write. I really do need to upgrade my camera anyway and I could go out this evening and get a camera 3.1 MB or so and not be too stung, financially. But, the fact of the matter, mis I really like my little HP C200 1 MB photosmart. Cost me about $300.00 four or five years ago and I have really enjoyed the device. I have adapted my gnarled disabled hands to work the camera adequately, the new one are so small I don’t know if I could operate them. I suppose I can learn and I will le1arn over time but, I just don’t look forward to having to do so. Actually, there are three or four such cameras on ebay right now for about $10.00. I bet I could get at least one of them but that is so much work and the C200 is old technology.

I came home and traded memory cards and sure enough the camera worked just fine. What is weird is the card I changed is one that would not work a month ago, this card acted just like the one I changed go figure. I wish I was smarter. So at the end of the day all is good. I spoke with Justin at Mobility Solutions and he is going to look at my wheelchair lift and see what he can do to keep it going more to come...

All Dressed Up with Nowhere to Go

It’s Council today, possibly the high point of this little office’s month. We are the DD (Developmental Disability Council) for our state. Actually my operation we’ll just call it Access Alert is not really part of the DD Council, but we are housed in the same office and to be honest the Council has saved our “bacon” more then once. I answer to the Council Director, who signs my timesheet which allows me to get my meager compensation for giving a third of my life to the State each working day. So, once every two months the State DD Council convenes in this office. The Council is made up of consumers, who are either DD, or represent significant other with DD of some kind or another, elected officials congressional and Senatorial types( they usually send their aids—especially the Washing DC types. However, these bigshots HAVE made appearances before, just not every meeting.The last group represented on the Council are the Agency and Department Heads and Execcutive Directors of various Office, programs and private non-profits who service folks with disabilities. It’s really quite a dog and pony show. A GOOD lunch is provided usually a hot meat product i.e. tacos, Italian something but we have had full blown turkey dinners and meatloaf and mashed tater and gravy( my favorite). Staff usually gets lunch and they let us eat the same time as the other guests. I sit on a couple of board where they feed the board then the staff of the office “feasts” on what is left. It’s sort of pathetic knowing these folks wake on the morning board meeting ad decide wheather or not to make a lunch and then just “vultch around” till the mighty board signals they are through. The director of the meeting then pulls those accordion door room dividers across the room and the doors are opened. We just hear a rush, muffled sounds as the remains of the catered tables are picked over by “office carrion” it’s not pretty.

The past couple of months I have been covering the phones during the meeting—my partner has had to do minutes during the meeting or cover the front desk.. My office in way in the rear of the office and during the door is shut and I am isolated for three or four hours. Kinda neat. I guess I do not need to nor have I been told to “dress up” for the meeting but I do—as much as I ever get dressed up for work, cords, a vest over a white turtle neck or long sleeve T and I usually take off my watch cap. Shush! The council members are coming, if I sit very still they won’t see me—all dressed up.

Like a Deer in the Headlights

I am really trying to be good and write this blog on my own time and not on the company dime, especially since I got flashed last Friday. It difficult though, I have my best thoughts and energy during work, or right after I get I get there. Oh, well here it goes—it's 8:00 in the evening and I am home and inside. Finally, I left my keys on my manual wheelchair at the office tonight as I was rushing out. The keys to the house or on that set of keys. Dianne had to work late so I had to, patiently, wait out on the porch till Dianne got home from work. I imagine I looked pretty pathetic; hunched up in a ball, my head sucked into my leather jacket, like a turtle trying to conserve heat. In fact, my Neighbor, LeNay, passed me as she went out on her walk, then passed me again on her way back. She came back with a blanket and tossed the blanket over me. I was not as cold as she thought I should be for being out like I was but I was and am grateful. I hate it when I lock myself out. I will be locked out of the office till someone gets in with a key. So, tomorrow I'll have to go in later then I usually do, wait round and look th fool. I guess I needed to be humbled.

Staff meeting today, every Monday at 8:30—probably the most unproductive two hours of my week. I usually don't mind, I doodle, sketch other staff, and look attentive. But today was a bit different, we have a fairly new staff member who has a lot of power in the office, she is like right under the E.D. She(new staff member) is quite power house, a real thinker, she has this weird habit thinking up something, then you(me) half way agree that the idea is a good one then for get about it. The new staff member, however, thinks , somehow, I have volunteered to implement the idea or project. So this morning when I am half way through a doodle the new staff member asks for my update!!! I look up tharn as a deer in headlights and stammer a believable excuse. Luckily, the project is sort of time sensitive and cannot be implemented effectively for another week. This incident was a great heads up though because I know I would not have done a thing not realizing I was supposed to. I must be getting rusty I usually way more together then this.

Early Spring

<>
Early Crocusses

The sun looks right and the shadows feel good and the leaves are just at their newness, barely buds on new limbs and twigs. But, believe as I may I cannot con my self into feeling the temperature is warm enough outside my window to go out and socialize, do things in the yard and work in my garage and be productive. I still may go out in a couple of hours and find a space guarded from the wind, that has direct sunlight and read till I nod off --but the sun will feel good on my face and the vitimin D cannot hurt. Gabe was over a few minutes ago to collect Ani from her sleepover. Bridget came with and is still here watching Legends of the Fall a movie they have been planning to watch together. Legends is a great flick—I don't think Legends is a “chick flick” per se but and Legends is not entirely a “dick flick”, Legends is good but, truly sad and brings to mind the monumental waste of war, any time any where. I recommend the film if you have a rainy or snowy afternoon or evening to kill. I think this will be time well spent.

The day is half gone, almost 1200 noon but I have not felt the pulls of Monday yet. We have a roast in the crock pot and I need to get some pictures taken to post and find a place in the sun, away from the wind where I can read till I nod off.

Saturday Things

All In all it has been a pretty good Saturday, not as productive as I would have liked but not too bad. I worked on the Mental Health Association in Utah website and finally go t the new newsletter up. I had some problem with some of the images Mack sent over but I got up one of the images and that will have to do. The whle process took a couple of hours. Posting that I went over to my buddy, Al’s. This was the firt I had been over for a couple of months. I had missed him and was glad to visit with him for a while. I can only really see him when the weather is warm enough to allow us to sit out by his back porch and talk. We have figured out a way to get me into the basement of his house but this takes quite bit of work and is a bit scary. Today there was a North wind but not too bad. We visited for a couple hours. Tomorrow I want to take a picture of his new crocuses. I wish I had digital today.

Later I instant messaged Mark for while but he and Jazz were just on their way out to feed the ducks at their complex. I messed with my computer a while then Dianne came home with Ani( looks like another sleepover) and we just finished dinner. Turkey nd mashed potatoes and gravy. I m fighting to stay awake. I wanted to get a couple of pages read in the latest book The Bourne Ultimatum , Robert Ludlum third novel in BOURNE series. I picked up at the library this last Thursday. The book is starting out very good. Ultimatum has started out great and holds promise. Lots of word and pages, should keep my reading busy well into the Spring.

Blustry March Friday

I worked last night doing the Russian thing, so I had a co0uple of hour's built up then I also worked through lunch yesterday so I had at least four hours built up...that half a day! Plus I haver been tarrying to get an envelope of magnets mailed out all week to Department of Work Force Services(DWS) all week. When, I finally got the magnets assembled fifty of them I realized that the postage would cost a mint to try to mail them. I checked out the address and area enough the Midvale DWS is right on the tracks line, just one stop south of my home station(6400 South) So, figured I could count the time to the DWS as work time so as soon as Cecilia got back from lunch took off. I almost took off. It never fails, when ever I am trying to get out of the office, when I have to use time I have earned or I will loose it I invariably will have a call or a “walk in” which seems to last for ever. Well, this happened today! I got a call from an out of State traveler, a person with a disability, who unknowingly parked her vehicle in “designated” parking area but in a private parking lot. The ADA does not cover private parking area. They lot “booted” her vehicle and charged her $80.00 to get the car free. She wanted restitution. Sorry to say, the women is out of luck but I gave her some ideas. One of the ideas was to contact the local Fox net work affiliate. These guys ar always looking for a story. She was actually excited when I hung up the phone and got on my way.

The trip started out nice, there was breeze but not bad and I had my jacket so I was fine. I caught the next train out, fortunate, and soon I was off the Midvale station(7200 South) I wondered round a bit but finally got to the DWS met my contact and gave a brief presentation, this turned out to be a great information drop. I needed some Sherman's for the weekend so I motored down to a little shop on State far, got what I needed then I crossed an waited for the bus—this waited turned out to take a lot longer then I had wanted but I had my book so I read and began to chill. There is always a wind on State street and the wind today is cool, add a sun that is playing hide and seek with the clouds and I got really chilled. I put my jacket back on and waited. The bus finally showed up, the bus was th 222 shuttle meaning it was only going as far as the 6400 South station. I was thinking I would have the bus drop me off at Zions and get cash for the weekend but shat would not work since the buss was only shuttling to the Trax station. But, this was all good since I doubt I rarely really need the cash so getting off at 6400 South is how far I would have rolled if I took my regular train home. So, I was good. I was really getting cold now but soon I was home and I blogging. All is well.

Optimism

Sunshine in my Soul

Look at the sunshine in this image!! This was taken just a few moment ago—I don’t know of if it is the plain brilliance of the sunlight or the figure ground effects telling me the position of the sun rays hitting my desk means that Spring is round the corner but something is making me feel good as I look forward to a very long day. Even the fact that lift in my van is dangerous to my self and is totally unreliable and unpredictable...I don’t care because I know things will work out because there is sunshine in my soul today. Whew, I had better move away from my window. I may be getting vitamin D poisoning.

That’s better. Anyway, the van saga continues. I picked up the beast yesterday after work. The van guys tell me there is really nothing more they can do, the wheelchair lift is ancient, parts for the lift are no longer being made, there is a wire harness on the inside of the lift, an this wiring is being pinched which is causing some of the switches on the lift not to function. I did speak with some folks I know over ay Utah center form Assistive Technology (UCAT) these guys have a fabrication shop. Lucky for me UCAT is located in the same office as the meeting I am attending at 12:00 today. So, I spoke with the folks at UCAT yesterday afternoon and they are going to look at the lift and see what they can do, if anything, to keep it running till I can get figure out something else. I may have found a lift, which might work. I’ll just have to see what I can negotiate. More to come…

Lori's Poetry

lb
"font-size:130%;">

Lori is my friend. Lori is a woman with a disability, with a family and with an X husband. The X husband is relatively new the X part anyway. Lori is doing as well as can be expected; I really think she is going to survive. I can attest I really believe her poetry is getting sharp, exact and even surgical. I think we can expect to see great things from Lori. I am going to include some of her recent submissions to the Literary Guild in my next couple of blog entries. I hope you all enjoy then

Book

Lori Brock

The boy eyed the book

In his grandfather’s Library

It was just one book in the

Rows and rows of other books

It was bound in red and gold and

About as thick as all

The others

It was on a west shelf

Between the two

Windows with the cushioned seats

And low enough for the boy

To reach standing

On tip-toe

He took the book in his hands

And carefully opening

He took chocolate from his

Hollow belly

Stacked!

I realized with a start yesterday morning that I have a pile of 36 Letters of Intent to read by some date soon. I had started reading the Letter of Intent on Friday and I was going to take them home so I could, maybe, read some of them if not all over the weekend, but thinking I had at least another week before we meet to discuss, rank and choose the letters we wish to see full proposals on I left the documents on my desk. Then yesterday I get the email from the Recorder that to please have the Letters ranks and into her by Wednesday (preferably) but show up at least with the letters ranks and ready to discuss Thursday morning!!!! Really, I was planning on taking it easy this week, with the Boss in Washington DC but no I have the “Letter of Intent on Thursday then I also found out with yesterdays email that I had the Russians on Thursday night. So Thursday will be my epic day.
Have you ever notice, that for some bizarre reason, thing attend to “stack”. Things, which are totally unrelated, start congregating on one certain day. I noticed for the first time in my life during university. That for not apparent reason class assignments might suddenly become due, on the same days as medical appointments, teacher conference with the kids unscheduled visits from parents all on the same day—

I was able to pick up the van yesterday after work, they were able to get the lift fixed so it is useable—sorta. I have some major issues with lift that I “get” visit with shop guys today about. The lift operation mechanism on the handle of the lift gate, which I use to drive the lift up and down—very important, does not seem to work at least in the “up position”. So when I cautiously move myself, out on the lift gate, in my huge old Jazzy then try to lower myself, nothing happens. The handle switch is not working to lower, however, it works to raise me(?!) So what I ended up doing is using the hand held device to lower me. This works but is very awkward and I feel dangerous. When I called late in the day to check on the vehicles progress the shop manager told me then they got it working but that was all. The shop guy also said the lift is way old you cannot even get parts for the lift anymore. When I got to the shop 4:30 pm, the place was all “buttoned up”. I thought it was strange when he told me to just mail the payment in. They have never told me that before. So, my question is this all they can do? Should I be happy with the as is and as much as I can use it. A new lift in the van will be $4,000.00 installed. I don’t have that much right now. I have put my feelers out for a used lift gate and I think a lift will show up , which is affordable, sooner or later. Again, the weather is getting better and I can use my power chair more and more. So, I will call the guy and at least ask. I think it is a limit switch issue. Yeah things are getting stacked!