Retreat Retreat!!!!

Last hour of the last day of the month and I am cranking trying to get some things done before the end of the work day. True, tomorrow IS a work day but we have an all office was then hell out in Draper, near Point of the Mountain, the State prison. I checked, no buses go out this far so I am going to have to drive my van. Tonite I have to get the newsletter finished and posted. I was going to get some done over lunch but I have none of the software I need from my old computer. I thought about downloading some freeware but it was becoming too difficult and cumbersome. I have the software I need at home and I will just have to sacrifice “So You Think You Can Dance?” I was also going to upload some images but the machine will not open my card reader so I CAN UPLOAD THE IMAGES. The machine recognizes new hardware has been interfaced with the system but will not show the drives so I can access the said images. Totally frustrating. I wonder what I am missing. I may have to down load some drives.

So, tomorrow is another retreat. A time to get to know staff and management a little better in a less formal setting. In years past we have been everywhere from hotels to staff houses and I just wonder how effective these outings are. Tomorrow’s retreat is going to be at a country club The retreat is always kinds a fun and a way to blow off a day. I hate to miss 8 hours of calls. I have tried to bail on these things before but that is always a nogo. When your boss is trained social worker these ventures into the “touchy feely” is most important; really assists the staff growth. I have elected to take a vacation day Friday so as to stretch my holiday with Labor Day happening on this coming Monday. So, a retreat is kinda like an extra day of vacation you just do not have control of you life while you are at the retreat. You usually are set up with folks you work with which can make things a drag… I am fortunate that the folks I work with are OK. I mean it could be a whole lot worse which I am very aware. My biggest stress point tomorrow is that I have to feign focused interest for 8 hours.

Focus Just Focus !

I hate it when I become so focused that I loose track of everything. This happened today. My partner told me she was going to take a half day this afternoon. This was OK with me—I had no where to go and I was down to answer phones come what may. Usually Cecilia takes a late lunch—I take off at 12:00 or there abouts and we are cool. For some reason, I got in my head that Cecilia was taking the early lunch and I would take the late lunch. I totally spaced she was out or the rest of the day. I was getting pretty hungry about 1:30 when it sunk in on me that I was flying on my own back here. I got Angela to cover phones for me and I too about 50 minutes and had some crackers. I do not know why I was so focused—perhaps I had found some sort of work zone a vocational nirvana where once attained the employee channel our all day and come back to a state of full conscience at the end of that day feeling the day whizzed by in a snap. This may have been the case for the is morning but I can assure that this has not been the case this afternoon. Luckily I had two visitors drop in and “eat” up my afternoon. The visitations would better had they not over lapped each other but still the visits we welcomed and helped me deal with the slow Yawn filled after noon hours. My eyes may have glazed once or twice but I am sure the eye glazing was not noticed by the visitors.

Just Pisses me Off!

My new system returned to day and the sound card is working just fine. I could have lived with out the sound card working but there are meeting which are sometimes broadcast over the INTERNET that I do need the audio working. So, I guess I am set. I need to load some of my sound files now and give the system a real test. I still have to load some other pieces of software to make my system complete. I even got Ed to switch my zip dive from the old system over to this system. I just have to keep all the garbage I have inherently installed over the life of a system I use. Really makes a mess of my desktop and I am sure really drags on the system. I am sure I have all sorts of things running in the background I don not need.

There has been something that has been ragging on me for the past week. I have tried to let it go but the incident seems to be hanging round inside my head so maybe if I blog it the anger might exercise it self. Anyway, as you all know I work a small phone room answering disability questions. I One of the calls I get time and time again is from consumers or their state agents wanting to know where they might get financial assistance for the purchase of a specific piece of durable medical equipment. Many cases it is to purchase a wheelchair van, a vehicle which has either a lift or ramp with which to load a person in a wheelchair directly into the vehicle. If thesde vehicles are being purchased new, or from the factory the cost is, in my estimation, monstrous. The price for a vehicle with these capabilities is not so bad if they are buying a used , vehicle which has been converted. The price dives even more significantly if the family or individual is welling to purchase a vehicle more then a decade old and a larger van like a 1980-1999 full size van with a wheelchair lift. These sell, decked out, for lress the $2,000.00. This is a real deal, I don’t what price gasoline is. So last week I get a call fro a consumer, a mom who just got a power wheelchair for her very young daughter. She realizes she will no longer be able to get the kid round in the Subaru. She wants to know what is the program which will buy her a new accessible vehicle. I tell, here there is really not such a sugar daddy out “there” who will pop for such a thing. I know of a couple of out fits who will loan money at a low rate to help with such an acquisition—I actually sit on the board of that group. Independent living will help people with disabilities too but the process is arduous and takes a very long time start to finish. These are the traditional routes there maybe other programs out there but I have not really heard of them as yet. If there were such programs I would have heard and I have not heard of any.

A couple of days later I get called by the lady again and she indicates that I should know of some other options because she has been talking to one of the directors of one of the local private NON-PROFITS and that director told her that I should and did know of such organizations.!! The director guy made it sound like I was lying to her. What really pisses me off this guy is the director of one of those private-profits which fund raises like tons of dollars from “cry-a-thons” and other national fund raisers, raising literally millions of dollars annually but they never have enough to buy their consumers a power chair or lift-equipped van and foist their consumers on what little State programs might be out there. There used to be money out there but that money has long dried up with the current Administrations.

There I don’t know if I feel any better but it’s out there for what it’s worth. If she can find a better deal they grab it—how Iococca.

Sometimes life comes too fast at me. It’s Sunday afternoon! I cannot believe a week has passed since our company left. Shelly and fam returned to Oregon without little incidence. I did hear something about a 66 mile wrong turn or something. I went to the doctor and everything seems to be alright. The washing machine DID get repaired—nylon stuck somewhere—and Dianne and I protested Bush’s SLC trip.



This is a great image of me looking concerned. The sun was beginning to burn the clouds away and the top of my bald head was beginning to cook.

Good image of me from the back

There were SS choppers all over the park where the demonstration was being held. It was a little spooky but exciting.

More images of the crowd This was a pretty good turn our for a "Red" state. There were a few skirmishes over by the road where the motorcade was supposed to pass but nothing where Dianne and I were.

Then on Thursday I was interviewed for a local TV station for their PSA library so I have been busy.

The weekend has not let me do anything I had planned except putting about four hours yesterday into the news letter—The Unified Voice. I have a little bit left to do on the page but I should have the document ready to post by the First of September. Anakah spent the past couple of nights with us so lots of videos and whatever, i.e. one trip to KFC and one trip to Mark and Kristy’s. So, with what ever minutes I am using right now to update the blog the weekend is over. I am ready for Monday. I am going to cut the blog short for for now. Load some images and call it good. See you tomorrow.

Alone, Again, Naturally

The Air conditioning to this part of the building is broke and the after noon wanders towards 5:00 I am sitting clawing to conscience. There has been a meeting in the Council just outside my office all day and as they have droned on and on I find my self staring at my computer screen and seeing nothing. I am still with out my new box and this system keeps freezing up and I have to completely power down and bring the system back up. I nod off during the transition. My partner had a minor family emergency and split and I am again here, by myself, naturally.

The washing machine is malfunction now—has all week, but for one reason or another we have not been able to get the machine looked at. In fact, the washer is part of a set we purchased from Sears a couple of years ago and has never worked right. Every couple of months, it seams, the stupid thing refuses to drain or just will sit there and flash it’s light at you. In fact the last repair guy who was out earlier this year said that if they had to come out one more time before the end of the year they would replace the machine. I did not believe this then and I do not believe this now but we shall see. The machines are still under warranty and I think Sears is getting sick of coming out and repairing them. Dianne, was at home this morning when the repair guy was supposed to show up. I have not heard anything today which means-I think they are going to repair the washer, but will have to order in parts, which will mean more time and a trip to the dreaded Laundromat, probably tomorrow morning –early if I have my way. “Get it out of the way early in the day” is my motto. I plan to wash just enough pants and shirts for the week. I have been wearing jeans since Wednesday and that’s cool I just need some slack backup. Hopefully we’ll have the washer up and going by then. Anakah is coming over for the weekend which means Dianne and Anakah will be hanging out all weekend—probably heading over to Mark and Kristys, feeding ducks and swimming .
Everyone’s gone now. The boss, the 2nd boss lights are out up front and I am hunched over my system trying to finish my 500 for the day before I am out on Trax heading South. Aside from washing some clothes I want to finish a book I have been reading for far too long, I have to publish a newsletter to a webpage I maintain for a local non profit. This will take a couple of hours and maybe burn some beef out on the grill. A movie would be cool but that would be way ambitious. When we were cleaning up the house for the impending visit I happened to come across a box or two of old videos we used to watch. Many we have not looked at for five years or more so for someone like me with head injury it’s like something new. I even found my old copy of Clossus: The Forbin Project a great piece of celluloid. Clossus came out in the early 70’s one of the first pieces of Cyberpunk I was exposed to. I just thought it a great piece of work---the copy I have I recorded of the TV. I have to catch a train.

A Blue Iguana

I had lunch today at the Blue Iguana, BI, trendy mex in Salt Lake City. This place is located in the heart of this city right across from the Salt Palace. I have to pass the Salt Place to get to the BI. The whole downtown is littered with Vets: left over from the national convention held in SLC this week Remember: Bush was in town? What a trip. The event officially ended today so most of the fading warriors disappeared yesterday leaving only the brave and diehards today.

I dodged these fossils as I made my way to the restaurant—when I left my office searching for lunch today I was not really planning on doing mex and especially the BI, but as I wondered further and further East I finally came to Arrow Press square and decided on giving the place a try. Like I said the place is trendy usually meaning that the facility is in some form of old architecture. As it is BI add the Arrow Press Square seems really old. The Iguana located deep inside this building complex making sort of a maze of stairs and hallways to get to the restaurant. The front door is accessed down a steep setoff stairs leading to the basement level of the buildings. A couple of weeks ago when I was motoring to work in my power wheelchair I noticed a backside to this building I had not noticed before and a feebler sign indicating “Elevator”. I could not see the elevator but knew there must be one. I retraced my steps of last week and found the sign and entered the door it pointer to. I found myself in an interesting lair of hallways—the back of many of the restaurants in this complex and sure enough one of the door was marked Blue Iguana. Actually the door guarded an elevator shaft. I had to actually bring the car up before the door would open. I opened the door when the elevator arrived sure enough it WAS an elevator, an old one but looked sturdy enough. I rolled in and shut the door, punched the button to “1” and promptly dropped an inch but arrived at the floor safe. I opened the door right into the Kitchen. I should not have been surprised but I was. Bags of onions and avocados were everywhere and non English speaking personnel. Steam was rising from the cooking areas and water was running from a pipe just above the floor perpetually keeping the floor wet.

I felt like Alice after she had fallen down the tunnel in her quest for White Rabbit. I slowly inched myself forward. I was not sure I was going to be able to get through ad that was not weird part—what was the weird part was here was this middle ages crip in a huge power inching out of the closet. Nobody seemed to notice. The door closed behind me and I then moved to the sink area trying to get noticed but luck. Waiters were coming in with huge piles of plates and leaving with huge piles of food. Dish washers grabbed the soiled dishes and scraped them clean and began processing. I finally ran into a bottle neck—I could go no further. What looked like the head waiter finally stopped and pointed at me and a couple of the dishwashers and motioned for the washers to push one of the prep tables back against the wall freeing up an inch or so but just enough for me to get by and out of the humidity which was the kitchen. The scene was a dream, not a nightmare but a really strange \dream just the same. Back in the “real world” there was only three or four tables on the main floor, stairs up and stairs accessed the other eating levels. I had to wait a half hour before a table, opened up—needless to say I was slate getting back to the office.

The food was good and adventure had. I cannot wait to drag some of my friends who use wheelchairs there for lunch or diner. It will be highly entertaining – somethings never change

WWYD

Yesterday—I felt terrible. I am not sure what was wrong with me but I was drug out and could barely remain conscience all day long. I think I was still recovering from the Kid visit. Don’t get me wrong, the Kid visit was great even with my X coming with them (part of the clanning) I spoke of in a recent blog entry. The 48 hours was tremendously condensed—we traveled South and visited the venerated ancients in Santaquin—this trip took 4 hours or so, one hour each way for travel and then two hours for lunch with my Mom. It was just Shelly Dust and me but I think we did OK, I believe Mom would have enjoyed more time. We ate lunch at Subway and then went to the Cemetery, visited my Dad and searched out family graves a bit morbid but entertaining. The day was hot and the trip felt long. Later there was a BBQ hosted by Mark’s Kristy which lasted long into the night but was a good event and great hamburgers .

Sunday morning we hooked with the main group at 12:00 at the Chinese Gourmet for: you got it…all you can eat Chinese! This was kinda weird but OK. We are such a strange family, My “X” was there plus Don and his family. Now Don married my X had a couple of great boys( Charlie and Walter James)then they divorced and Don married Carolee and they all were there at lunch. One giant long table. Not bad though…then after the meal everyone adjourned to our place and we visited all afternoon and into the evening—Walter James played his guitar and we snacked and visited to nine or 10:00 pm .

This turned out to be a very long day. The folks went to Marks and stayed up even later. That was my weekend. We got the house presentable and presented to my family and I think we passed.

I went to the Doc yesterday about the pain I had in my neck last week. The visit was strange. I love my doc, he is totally cool, but I am beginning to wonder about how good he is with me. One of the items I brought was problems peeing at night. I am old and I know this is a general symptom of men my age an enlarged prostate. I also know there are certain, albeit uncomfortable procedure to check these things out besides just talking about the symptoms with the patient/ consumer. Jamie just advised me the symptom was enlarged prostate, I should just take this herb extract and essentially not to worry which was great at first but after talking with Dianne about it I just don’t know anymore. She was kinda pissed. Why didn’t do the whole “drop your pants and finger up the butt procedure to R.O. CA and whatever??. I think it is the whole crip thing. It’s just a pain in the ass, to get the fat old out of his chair, undressed and then on to an exam table. So, just tell the crip everything is fine, which I am sure that it is, and let him waltz out the door and collect then collect his insurance. Would this have been the same treatment an able bodied guy would have got? Should I find a new doc what’s an old fart like me to do. WWYD

The Tempest is Past

Just a few notes--and hopefully I can enlarge on the weekend. We got the house presentable about 30 minutes before the kids arrived. I was amazed we pulled it off---actually it was Dianne, I was there just for support. Still we did it! Frome the point the guys pulled in we were on the go-no time to write and yesterday wasa lost day too but now hopefully I can get "back on the horse". I hate missed days of blogging.

Thanks you guys for the visit Hopefully next time we will have more time and maybe in your part of the world.

Waiting Is The Worst

Waiting is the worst. Shelly and clan have been on the road since about 6:00 am from Medford. It’s now 6:00pm , so that is 11 hours. I figure the they should be pulling in anytime now. There are other variables which must be considered, traffic and vehicular dependability. I assume Shelly is packing her cell so if something were to go wrong they should be able to call. However, I tried to contact shell a few hours ago and as not able to make contact. So who knows. The problem I alluded to earlier in the week was just a dead battery—I hope. This is the first real road trip James’ new old Cadillac. This trip should really test the machine.

Dianne has been killing herself cleaning the house-Gabe and Bridget even helped last weekend but still things are all over but we are closer and I think we are on a roll. If we can just maintain after the visit and keep up going threw stuff and throwing away we might just get on top of the mess and reign the chaos in. Gabriel had a good idea which has been growing on me all day. He shared his thoughts with me last night. Gabe’s idea is to rent a unit and have the whole fam converge one weekend and move everything in the garage, shed and house into the storage unit. The house would be bare and wonderful and then we could catch our breath and work on the storage unit one weekend at a time till the unit is empty. I checked coming home from work today. There are same units up round the corner from the house. The are running a special currently three month for 19.95 a month. The three minute would be a great span of time use to clear the unit. If we started next month we could have the thing cleaned out by the New Year. I am not going to commit just yet—I have not even discussed the idea with Dianne yet. If fact Gabe suggests that I take Dianne on a weekend getaway to Wendover or such and the dirty deed would be done by the time we got back. This may be the least painful way.

Dianne has got the guest room available and sparkling, as is the garden bathroom. As far as I am concerned we are ready for business. Now it’s just the family politics to deal with—and there are lots of them. The visitors will be spread over two house holds, there are blended families involved and we want to have everyone together for an instant in time so we might able to get a family portrait update. There is also the question of congregate meals and one trip to Sanatquin to visit the venerated grandmother and Shellys step father and Charlie her brother—all this in 48 hours—they is headed back to Oregon Monday morning.

The phone just rang—it’s Shelly they are in Wendover two hours away. Dianne just screamed “IT’S REALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHUCK WHITE UCARE

I think of so many cool thing to write about during the day at work and other places but these jewels evaporate as soon as I sit down to hack them down and I end up having to create totally new thoughts.

I spent the entire afternoon sitting at a phone bank at the local NBC affiliate doing the “UCARE ask an expert”. Operators from various I&R's in the state and other social agencies took calls answering the questions of inquiring minds from around the state: mostly how can I get some distance from the person I am shakled to by some form of social contract, wife, husband, children etc. I need a break. I got the most calls from seniors watching afternoon TV. We looked like a telethon minus the cheap acts and annoying interviews. There was one call from what sounded like grizzled old coot demanding that we get out of his sight and return too local programing. If he wanted telethons he would be watching public TV. Reminded me of the two old coots who used to make comment on the Muppett Show. In actuality the old coot who called probably loved us, broke the routine of his soap watching and gave him an interactive tool free number to bitch at and feel he was making a difference. He wasn't. Truth is or was we were doing the show whether he liked it or not. We had free bodies, free air time (five hours worth!) and a free cold lunch but no beer—Sorry Chuck. So effectively it was easy duty. The producers guys would warn us as we would come up on the break and the local cameras would come to life as the cameras would pan the phone bank—we were told to pick up the phone and act like we were taking calls and seconds after that we would harvest a bunch of real calls.

This studio is located in a huge building in dowtown SLC in the closest thing SLC has to a sky scraper. It's major urban, I was amazed at the presence of armed guards dozing at their posts. The studio itself was locke down (we were actually out in the lobby of the building. The bathrooms wer on the floor above us and the organizer of the event had the only key. We had to go to Donna to get the key to pee. Granted this is the WELLS FARGO building and there is a bank in there somewere but this level of security blew me away.

Shelly—sorry about the vehicles don't push it. You can come another time. Really, I want you alive.

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Loose

I feel like a poster child for lost memory. Mr. Ed, the computer guy from IT, was out this morning and looked over the systems and sure enough the systems were not finding the hard ware needed to play music. Mr. Ed took my system back and rebuilt it and found out the issue is with office XP on the new systems are fighting with other parts of the computers or the computer’s programming. He is going to have to find the “patches” needed to make everything right. In the mean time Cecilia and notice there is something queer about the database—we finds the new machines are not recording the Data to the server where the data should be stored. And since Mr. Ed has taken the systems back to his tech area and rebuilt the systems any data that may have been written to disk is now gone! Probably about thirty or forty files. Luckily we have found the problem now and not 45 days from now when I am trying to generate reports for my October meeting. I think we have it under control but it’s might be a bit messy during this transfer of machines. Cecilia suggested that we immediately print reports of the data base for the first month and a half and make note of the “lost data” while the data points are still fresh in out heads ad blend everything at the end of the quarter.

So we are hooked back up to our old machines and we at least have our tunes. Plus while I had the new machine yesterday and this a.m. I realized that a lot of my software I use is not going to on the new system and it will not be on the new system if I do not pull the software off myself. So I burned the folders for MIC, ACDSEE 32 and other files. I’ll glean some more folders in the next few days. Mr. Ed said it would be a week or so before we get our new machines back.

Tomorrow I am out of the office for a major part of the day. I am working a telephone back for a local City wide information fair called Ask an Expert. The way it sounds is that there will be a back of telephone operators (all experts in their own area—mine being disability of course. The info-thon will run from 12:00 to 5:00 pm and be televised. Essentially, when the network breaks for advertisements they will do the call for information. They will feed us though and well be at the local NBC affiliate downtown. I’ll try to get an image tomorrow.

I also found a charger for my power chair only 60 dollars. I am impressed . I was afraid the charger was going to cast me a lot more then that. I figure the charger is light weight but should do the job. I sill for the price of the power chair an board charger should have been included.

Sucker Punched

I got sucker punched last week. I cannot believe I did not even see the glove coming. I pride myself for being round the block enough I can at least avoid the most obvious but alas I got nailed.We got the new systems in and finally the State technician came round and installed them on Thursday of last week. So, Friday when I went to use the machine the machine worked just fine but most of the depositories which had been loaded on the prior machine did not come over with migration. I am hoping against hope that data is still on the State servers—I am sure just have to get the software boys back and redirect pointers to the right folder. Then is was the same issue with Instant Messenger and the speakers do no wok on the system so out tech is coming back out sometime this week to see what the issue is with that. So, I have been with out a functional system for two days now. I have admit though my new system is fast and I am trying to get used to the flat screen. I thought the flat screen would be wonderful. But the flat screen is just OK—in fact I think the flat screen stresses my more then the other screens. I did figure the strain abated a bit by dragging the screen as far forward on my desk as possible. The last time I was up to State Surplus they were selling huge CRT monitors for like $50.00—I mean huge screens. I bought one and set the monitor up at home and have been very pleased. This is great having this knowledge now I do not have invest in a flat screen. Oh, yeah, for some reason, the machine will not read a lot of my image files. It seems files created with .mic files will not be read. I am a little surprised because the .mic files are old Microsoft files made with image software I used a lot but now will not be open my the new software. I am running XP office and this may have something to do with the problem. It is just one more thing. I guess it’s lemonade time, tile to make lemonade from the fruit I have at hand today. I mean really I now have my own printer, a screaming system with a burner—though I lost a jazz drive I guess I’ll just have to burn and use my other, more compact devices. I should invest in a 512 or Gig mini drive. I guess the Iomega jazz disk drives are just falling along side the road like everything else.

Cleaning Day!

My Daughter Michelle. and son in law, Dusty and other son James are on their way to visit for a “rocket weekend”: forty eight hours of intense visitation. Their clan should be here on the 19^th. We have know of the impending visit for some time but only yesterday did it sink in that the visit is THIS weekend. The house is chaos and we need help if we are going to get the place in an acceptable condition before the visit.

Bridge, Gab and Auni were over last night and D talked them into committing to helping us all today—or as long as it takes to bring the house to order. I am the wheelchair guy so my job is to essentially stay out of everyone's way. So, her I am in the front room nook, typing and reporting the attack on th house.

A major commitment of th day is to throw stuff away. We have literally tons a of stuff lots of grand kid stuff but CD's tapes, clothes and books. I one of D's better read plans is to take everything out of the house and then go threw and replace only what is wanted and get rid of the rest. This is the first time this concept will be used. I am thinking of even emailing stuff to FREECYCLE and see how well that system works.

The items are being put on the lawn and the driveway—the scene is beginning to very much resemble a yard sale. I will be surprised if people do not start stopping to buy stuff. This could be a major issue but surmountable. The goal of the day is to get three rooms presentable: living room, front room and the guest bedroom. The first room is nearly empty. 1010 am.+

The couch was moved away from the wall...some things should not be viewed.

12:50 pm--the living room is nearly finished as is the kitchen. Gabe has issues the order to start bringing things back into the kitchen. I have been outside on the driveway separating the cds and DVDs and tapes that wish to keep over those we are going to discard, hot and dusty work but I have finished my part of the ordeal.

No one has broached the subject of lunch yet. I suppose I will have to run if we choose to do something outside of the house--the house being chaos right now...controlled chaos but chaos just the same.

Almost three hours into the project, maybe a third done. The first layer of civility is wearing thin almost gone. Gabe feels we have to push now because after lunch, what ever lunch is productivity with measurably drop.

3:40 pm Just back from the mall where I was dispatched for vacuum bags and food (Subway). I took Auni--e had a great time with one hitch what to do with a five year old while I had to use the MENS room!! A couple of matronly women were using the phone and I suppressed them into babysitting duty while I went in. Auni was terrified what was I to do?? It worked out she was there when I came back (whew!!!) W

We also hit Radio Shack and then to Subway. Three foot longs and back home.

Civility is still OK. I am surprised but pleased. Bridget bails with Auni. Gabe is watching Planet of the Apes- new version—

8:55 PM—Everything is brought in, some of the stuff has been tossed but miles to go before we sleep. We got a good bite on the house though—5 days and counting.

Gimmie a Break

<---Neck broken right there in the C-4,C5,C6

I

I broke my neck back in 1966 so long ago now it seems mythical, kike a story I have heard so much that it seems real--but in fact, it IS REAL! But no problem I was young then. I got on with my life. I came out of the ordeal OK. I got out of Viet Nam and I got my college paid for. The trade off was worth it. I think. Now almost 40 years post I am beginning to sense the "other foot" dropping. As I wonder I wonder into my "twilight years" I move slower, fall more frequently and hurt like Hell! I have been plagued all week by a sharp jabbing pain radiating from the cervical area of my spine, more specifically where I image the fusion of the of the neck fracture is.

Seriously, I thought I had been through enough. I have this weird theory that one person get a certain amount of grief in their life and that is it. You accept this grief and get on with life and everything else will be coo. WRONG! What I know now is: the pain just never quits. So now i have some decisions to make and first an foremost is find a doc that I trust and get myself checked out and go for it. The problem is, I hate doctors-not the docs personally but the medical model--and delving back into system scares me to death( great pun). Worse case scenario would be having to have my neck fused all over again and success of this procedure is questionable that is the successful part of course un successful part is death and that is never any fun.

I have been moaning and groaning all round the house since Monday. D --has been really supportive and I have truly appreciated her being there. How ever, I sensed I am growing on her nerves when I balk at her suggestions that I contact my GP and ask to have my neck X-rayed and ask for the appropriate intervention...just like that; like ordering a pizza or book. D really is great she treats medicine as a true consumer. I on the other hand treat medicine almost with a religious mysticism. Religion scares me to death too. So, in order to motivate me to the point where I call, make the appointment and drive all the way to my docs office 3000 east and 6000 South, along way away the pain has to be severe. The pain is not to the point yet. I am managing the pain now with Ibupropin 400 mg BID. This gets me through the workday and again through the night. The pain is on and off and I feel it beginning to intensify. D—in growing exasperation, suggests “You’d better get it taken care of before…”

“Before what!!!?” I scream but she is already out of the room and I realize the hanging question mark is c challenge for me to get myself taken care or or stop whining . D is right. I had better grow-up, bite the bullet and get myself fixed. IT may not be as bad as I am making it up to be. Or maybe IT is.

Waiting for Mr Ed

My new office system came in yesterday.. I am trying not to get excited because we cannot touch the boces till State I.T (Information Technology ) can show up to set the systems up. My partner and I have been upgraded and are being set up this Friday. I have been working this loaner HP from Center for People with Disabilities, up in Logan , for past three years. This was loan from my Buddy Marty. This equipment loan enabled our office to not have to order new equipment for a couple of years. But since Christmas my HP has began to slow down significantly and when I need speed to search for information to feed my callers, this system has become more and more a liability.. Two mo ths ago we kicked round some numbers in our budget and decided that we could upgrade. I am continually amazed at how the price of hardware has dropped in the past two years. Hardware is dirt cheap. We got a great deal so I should have significant speed, storage and capeability. I think I am going to loose my Iomega Zip drive but OH well, again, drives have become more and more common and inexpensive. I can get those bullet storage devices for very little money, even less if I watch for sales or scan the INTERNET. I would like to get a small storage device of about a gig or so just to be able to carry some big files mpg or music files.

The biggest drawback of getting a new system is the transferring of information from the present system to the new system. I hate to do it with IT right here, so many times they love to supervise the transition. Then they frown , glare or even reprimand as you begin porting all the items not allowed on a state system like music files, mpeg, game and what ever. So, I have to clean the hard drive, back up on zip files and burn to cd-rom and decide what I want to carry to my new over to my new univerise. Mr Ed is coming on Friday to do the set up ...I have work to do.

To The Bat Cave

Never let it be said that the Gateway office building is not interesting—The Gateway is, of course, my building, the building where my office is located in downtown Salt Lake City. I like the place, a block away from the Trax line and just blocks away from anywhere downtown Salt Lake. I can get to any good restaurant in Downtown Salt Lake over my regular lunch period.

Other staff in my office does not feel the same way about the Gateway I do. In fact they hate the building. The way they talk the building has noxious odors as well as building mates and all manner of weirdo’s. My office mates would love to move to anywhere but here. I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon but you never know. This morning shortly after 8:00 a.m. (I had already been in office for almost an hour.) Staff from one of the upstairs office entered the office and demanded that we contact the building engineer (building head janitor) and have him cover over and forcibly remove a bat from their office. That’s right, a flying, sonar carrying, mammal hanging upside down off of one of their office chairs! There is nothing that strikes terror in the hearts of staff as the unusual, something which does not fit into the picture and a bat in the office of a private non-profit hanging upside down of a piece a furniture fits that vision for me. I have all day tried to figure out hoe this event even could have happened.
This is a typical office building dully carpeted, florescent-lit rooms with false ceiling. One theory is the bat came in and some ho got into the false ceiling and descended from there I do not buy that. Batman, to get to the second floor, must first enter the building from either the front of back doors. These are fairly heavy doors and can only be opened manually or with the electronic buttons for people with disabilities to open the door independently. There seems to be some speculation that maybe the night janitorial staff may block the doors open while the carry garbage out of the building. The beastie could have accessed then but still it would have to tke the elevator up stairs to office. Maybe the janitors open up stairwells and prop the doors open, a way to get better air circulation. I kinda of lean this way but still a lot conditions have to be met. Then there is the other glaring questions bats seem a lot like mice…DUH!!! Bats are mice with wings an when I lived on the farm a common expression was “If you can see one there are ten more in the barn or what ever.” So, now the current crises is just how many flying rodents are there? Well we see more as the temps drop as we near winter? Are staff going to be bit, develop rabies and run through on all fours wait to find someone else to bite? Maybe now would be a good time to put a point on some of my broken sticks I have laying round the office and keep some garlic in my top office drawer—this job is never dull.

I Need A Human Please !!

A file crossed my desk. Someone caught in the crossfire of a Social Security Overpayment. An over payment is when for one reason or another Social Security pays the person too much and then the poor soul is slapped with an “overpayment' A MUST payback situation. A person usually does not know they are receiving too much money from Social Security until a couple of months after the over payment happens. An over payment can happen when you get a job ( even if part-time)and do not tell SS or you might inherit some dough or your room mate moves out or what ever and WHAM you are socked and usually socked hard.

Years ago when I was on SSI I got whacked a couple of times—SS usually works something out with you so you can “survive” the hammer. I remember once I got like a 1000 or more over payment. I had to pay the money back 50.00 a month for what seems like eternity. Stilk when you are trying to live on SSI you cannot afford to give anything up let alone $50.00 a month for what seems for ever.

The file I got today has an extra twist on the theme. It seems that this couple never did get an over payment what seems is the was a computer error and assigned this couple an overpayment. This couple was great they did everything right, saved every bit of mail rgarding this issues, called their SSI rp immediately, who incidently, indivcate” don't worry everythings is going to be all right. Then the next month another over payment statenment with a different figure. The couple began to get concerned when into the sixth month nothing happened and now it looked like they had an over payment of $59,000.00 and their SSI began avoiding them, not taking their calls and just becoming invisible. Last month the couple got their payback schedule $24.00 a month scheduled to be paid in full by 2044!!! This last statement pushed the couple over the edge and motivated them write a letter and send copies of this nightmare to my office. Actually the materials were not addressed to me per se the material were sent to the Governor's Office for People with Disabilities who in turn passes anything like this on to me or my partner. There is nothing official we can do—we are not advocates as these folks think that we are, This issue becomes even more crazy when you add in the factor that they live in a most rural part of the State. They did not include a phone number where I can reach them . I have some ideas I want to try tomorrow and see if I get hold of them and maybe help them out. Hopefully this will work itself out as a monstrous computer error, hopefully this will be the case. I would not be surprised if it did not and these good folks accepted the burden and were forced to do the repayment for the rest of their natural lives.

Freecycle Now

I have just began using an interesting website Freecycle.org . Freecycle is a project, nationwide but used at the local level designed to let people who have things, stuff they don't need get that stuff back into circulation free! This is great, I have used Freecycle and it works remarkably well. It's a great way to get rid of the stuff hat is taking up room in your house or apartment. You don not charge anything for it and those who want the materials just come by and pick the stuff up. Wow! Already we have used freecycle to get apricots, and a perfectly good printer for our laptop—complete with ink. The system uses Yahoo Newsgroup and that is Wok by me. The only drawback is that new posts are sent to your Yahoo mail account so you have to keep up with the new arrivals but that is a small price to pay for what is offered. I fear one has to offer a fair amount of self discipline so you don't end up hording this stuff,”take what you can use and leave the rest for others.” I m not sure what kind of system this is, maybe a loose form of socialism with a capitalist twist but that is a long guess but, what I have seen, is that this system seems to work.

I learned of Freecycle from Mark A who used the service to get a “new” monitor for his system. I was hesitant at first but have become quite a believer. To see the program operate is mind boggling: a sub system which circumnavigates the big system. No money or trades are allowed just a transfer of goods by those who no longer need it or can use them. In th sort time I have been envolved I have seen everything from fruit(u-pick off my tree)

to clothes, appliances and computers. There seems o be two categories “offer” and “Want”. “Offer” is someone who wishes to list an item(s) to give away and “”Want” someone who obviously need something. The “want”s are kind of heart breaking “My kid needs a bike” “school clothes”

“I need Jazz tickets” “baby formula” etc. The system has monitors who control the entries and the FAQ explains the program well. The introduction to Freecycle , I think does a great job of explaining that the system only work if the “offers” come in on regular bases the offers seem to do just that. We have not posted any “offers “ yet but plan too.

This country needs a program like Freecycle! We all have too much stuff just check out your garage. The other major drawback is those who really need free stuff are most likely, not on the web. If these folks know about Freecycle they could access the website via the library or a friend or relative who does have access.. I can hardly wait till Fall, I know the will be tons of apples listed and I am going to get some.

Go to the website, unregister you will be surprised at what is available.

Call 211 !

I just looked at the clock: it’s 2:35 and I am off at 3:00 today and I have not written anything. I am alone in the back today. CC called in sick, the boss took off to England this morning and the other staff have disappeared into their random Friday meeting. I worked through lunch yesterday and today so I have 2 hours to burn and I gone soon.

My rant today is lazy ass consumers who see our 800 number listed in the Blue pages of the phone book—and do not read enough to see we are a disability specific I&R( or even care). They just see we are a free call for them and so they call asking information about other state operations and programs. The one just I just got through with was someone who just found his State tax return buried on his desk and wanted to know if the tax was still cashable. Duhh!!! It’s a State check! So he wants the agency who could tell him of his checks validly which in this case I guess is the State Tax Commission. Usually this does not bother me too much unless I am swamped with other calls. I usually do what I did today and grab my State directory and give him the closes number. Many times the caller will wine because there is not an (800) number listed but they what do you want from a Dis only I&R…they are lucky to get what they got. So, I am sitting here taking calls for the Council as well as for Access and it gets frustrating. I guess I should look at the trade off which is I have the whole office to myself, it’s quiet and I am leaving early on a Friday.

Marty

Marty

This is my buddy Marty. I learned two things about Marty today: 1.Marty is a registered Republican and that he is not a ED or PHD. I have know Marty for more then a decade and I thought he had his letters. Wow! However, Marty is the closest person I know who is a Washington Insider and a lobbyist. He is a professor type at a local university but he loves playing the mover and schmoozer to Washington Big Shots. He does a good job too. But Marty spent all morning with me and Cecilia at our office. He came down from his Ivory Tower to give an in-service on the Americans with Disabilities Act( ADA). The training was laid back—as summer training should be. I said earlier that Marty is a lobbyist, this is not exactly true. He acts like a lobbyist and does a darn fine job but I do not think he is a card carrying lobbyist. Marty and I went to Washing DC a couple of years ago. I cannot remember for sure but seems like I was sort of in between wheelchairs. I had not yet started using a power chair. I was the chair for the local Assistive Technology council and Marty wanted to be ready to present testimony at an Oversite committee if so needed. It was a free to D.C. I was all over it. I was a true bumpkin a true Mr Smith goes to Washington. Marty’s big deal was to try to hit as many Senators and Reps and he could between sessions. Since Marty represents a lot of other national agendas then just A.T. he is all over the Hill when he is there and this is the way it was the day I was there except I WAS there and he was having to push me in this rapidly disintegrating wheelchair. I remember it was either very lat February or early March. I was way to early to see the cherry blossoms and there was a cold wind blowing and I had not really dressed for the out side and since we really could not take cabs (readily) Marty was pushing me all over town. The Towers had come down the November before so not only was there no cabs but we could not use the tunnels which run all over the Capitol this would have at least kept us out of the elements. Not only, could we not use the tunnels but the police had barricades everywhere! Poor Marty, but he did not swear or glare. He was happy the entire time we were there and I can be a strain on people even in the best of times.

We spoke today of going to D.C. again where ever the chance arose. I would not mind another a trip with Marty at all. Marty is genuine—another believer in all things good ( there seems to be a lot of those types in my life). Marty is also a teacher—if Marty could not be a true lobbyist then I think he would be a teacher who would nag elected official just for fun and because it’s the right thing to do.

BG 186

The heat is back. Not with the vengeance the heat displayed before the holiday season. It's the August heat now. The end of summer heat; the almost boring heat that makes you tired of the heat and the summer, the picnics and what ever and gets me ready for Fall. I start looking forward to that short season of crisp evenings, coloring leaves and brisk sweater weather when coffee smells welcoming and a promise of fly less days.

We had a tornado siting last night over the lake...a tornado in th Salt Lake Valley is always great topic of interest with the weather folks here. It was once thought, because of the mountains of this area that we were protected from tornadoes and but not so any more. Since I have been in Utah there has been several sitings and couple actually touching down and doing property damage. These are not the great deadly twisters of the mid-West and the Southern United States but items of interest. I have not seen a real life tornado yet, and I would like to before I die. I have seen the image capturing on TV but I think these rendering are nothing like the real event. My fad was from Kansas and had intimate experience with these funnels of wind and always chiding me that I should never wish to experience such an event. I think I would like to experience such an event with in limits.

I had some time today so I did some searching on the INTERNET for a bg 86. When I was in college I had a rucksack of sorts. I found this great back labeled “BG 186” it was a parachute riggers kit. I loved that bag, found in an army navy store the bag met my needs perfectly. The bag had lots of pockets and hidden areas. The bag I acquired still had all the rigger tools too. I lost the bag somewhere i n all my travels between there and here and I kinda would like to get another so I have been searching. The best I have been able to do is to find the bag, a canvas bag with a shoulder strap,olive drab but very functional. The use seems to be mainly for some sort of radio. I cannot find the exact bag used for a parachute riggers bag. I would like to find one. If anyone knows where one might be let me know. Please.

Its Wednesday night and all is well.

Who did I used to be?

<>One of the risks of Blogging is that often I can get carried away and just start writing and often my feelings slip out for the world to see. Such was the case yesterday. I was contacted by my buddy Mack this a.m. checking up to make sure I was OK. How cool is that?? He said that I made him sad and I sounded so dejected. I assured Mack that I was OK, jaded, but quite OK and I was getting on with the day. In fact things are beginning to really look up. My phone has been fixed and I have an inbound and outbound line. I am even excited at the prospect of taking calls again. I was getting a little concerned t the extra stress Cecilia, my office mate, was having to endure because I was not able to take calls.

<>When did I get dark? In fact I was quite an anomaly round the center I rehabbed at in Boise so long ago following my wreck in 1966. I was accused of being too happy being a teenager who just lost his hands, legs and who know what else. But, I was happy, I knew I was not going to Viet Nam, a mission or be stuck doing physical labor the rest of my days . Later on at University the same thing, I just could not get upset at many of my fellow students were upset with; I had school paid for, a vehicle I could drive with hand controls and monthly stipend. I had a sense of humor and a will to write and I enjoyed writing—I think this is where I started to darken though. I began to realize, as never before, there was great disparity between equal folks needing or doing the exact same thing. Still I worked it out by writing about these issues in the form of parody, cartons etc. maybe it has been the career in public service, specifically the area of advocating for people with disabilities and those who are “low-income”. So, I guess my “happy out look” has turned to cynicism. I am just one more jaded advocate who tries to do good, bring about change but I know deep down—it’s a bit of a joke, the system is too far gone. The invisible, able-bodied elite run the world silently.

I love to watch the “believers” those masses of young and middle class protected who dabble in private non-profits trying to make a difference. These folks fascinate me. They keep stepping up to the plate to try to hit the “fast ball”. If they can just get a good enough piece of that ball they will make the home run needed to make the difference. Did I ever feel that way?

I wanna be round when that little “believer” cracks the bat and sends the ball all the way out of the stadium and make that bases loaded home run bringing home everyone who needs help and cares about their neighbor.

Hey, did I say thanks to Mack for calling to say he cares…well, thanks

Today Is Yesterday

So here I am back to work from my vacation. My phone does not work and the air condition is blowing so hard I think my sore throat is coming back. I have had a “ticket” into to I.T. all day to fix the stupid phone any nothing yet. This is the very reason I hate to take vacation. There is just too much trauma on the return. Really, it will not matter in another hour because I will be on my way home in the wonderful heat of the afternoon. I may be thwarted there too because the clouds are in, hanging low with showers and thunder storms forecast for the roll home. The temperature is 79 degrees but at least the outside temp is warmer then my office. I could leave early but I think I’ll be a martyr and try to stick it out. And get this my NEW power chair is falling apart!! I have this specialized seat and I think the seat is so specialized that it is also fragile and I am just too rough stuff—so I called Magic Rest and the Tech I spoke with indicated they would look at it but it would be smarter for me to take the chair in rather then have one of the techs come out to my office. The tech said if what I specified was not he case an what was wrong was MY doing then I would be hit for the service charge. If I take the chair into the shop they will actually work on the chair without cost for the first twenty or thirty minutes this could be as much as thirty or forty bucks. I am beginning o get a queasy feeling in my gut. I hope I have not been sold a wheelchair from Hell! I have some protections from the “Wheelchair Lemon Law” but those wheelchair houses get round things. Magic Rest are saying they will work with me because I also outline other issues I am still having like no on board charger and the batteries still seem to be loosing their charge way before I think they should. The sales guys and even the techs are throwing up all kind of “word-gardens” which I am not too sure I buy—I mean these guys must think I am really stupid. I just keep getting the impression the Jazzy is not all that it could or should be. My plan is to keep the pressure on my vendor and to see what I can get him to do.

Something has happened and now the office is warming up—making the place tolerable for work. Now if I just had a working phone I would be set. Luckily my computer worked most of the day and I was able to update the website and the salesbank. Just a few minutes now. My partner has left. I am watching the phones till the end. I can here the phones ringing but cannot access then. I am truly a State employee.