Thursday, July 16, 2015

As It Currently Stands…



Yesterday our last evening I finally told my night staff, Mark, that come Monday I would no longer be using him or anybody from the agency provide my evening home health services. I was sure to couple's services along with the rest of the services agency. I did not want Mark to think that it was because of him that I was discontinuing my services which is true kind of. Truth of the matter is I cannot afford private pay home health services as much as I wish that I could. But also since I was discontinuing services anyway I dodged the confrontation bullet having to tell Mark that I specifically did not want him to provide my ongoing evening home health services.

I know I am a poor manager of people. I never have that good at directing folks to just a weakness that I have. I have noticed however in the short five or six months that we've used home health I've gotten somewhat better at telling the staff of what I want or what I don't want or how I want it done. Maybe, if I had Home health over the longTerm my managerial skills would improve and maybe then I could generalize it to anything else I had to manage. All I know right now would be hard to fire somebody if I had to.

Were I a good manager I guess I would work with my staff who had deficits and bring them up to an acceptable standard but I don't know really how to do that. I'm sure there's a manager skill craft video, training program, somewhere that teaches the skills but I haven't found it yet or had the patience or the inclination to pick up the skills. My wife, Dianne, is a great manager people I have noticed. She is managed large numbers of people in her past… And I've seen snippets of her skill set and interacting with people who work for us over the years we've been together. I admire her skill set in her ability to coax people to do the things they need to be doing to be successful in their jobs.

I was kind of good and surprised last night When Mark showed up to provide my attendant care for the evening. When we had talked to the agency we had essentially told them we no longer wanted Mark as my evening staff. Tonight, if he shows up, will be the last of the week that he provide services. Tomorrow he works another job and I have another person providing services. So if he shows up tonight I will And do the minimal amount of social interaction and be glad this is the final evening. I know it sounds cruel but just uncomfortable with my evening situation As it currently stands.


2 comments:

Dianne said...

In truth, Mark may write that he thinks I have good management skills, but he really only thinks that sometimes. He said today that I am a pit bull. Just keeping it real.

Dianne said...

It is interesting having attendants come in to the "intimate" circle of things.

Mark and I have to work on communicating things out.

Our primary attendant (will call her PA) comes 3 x week in evenings to toilet and shower Mark. She just WALKED INTO our home today - no knock - to give Mark her cell phone #, and to see if she could change the time she comes on Thursdays (for her to take another client earlier, which I'm sure she needs the $). I was unclothed. I told her to not do that again, that she is expected to knock if she comes at other than expected times. Mark was shocked and rather protective of PA. Difficult to keep the lines straight and not triangulate, but it's essential if one wants to keep PRIMARY relationships strong.

Earlier, about 3 weeks ago, PA knocked an item down in the shower (that was one of my treasures from my son), broke off a piece of it - into two other ones. So, now I have a 3 piece item. M not understanding my feelings on this object. My fault, as it is a shared space among THREE of us, and it is my responsibility to clear things away that could possibly be knocked down/broken. Done!

PA came into the hallway to my bedroom looking for a broom (I had just swept) on Saturday. I told PA to not come into this private space. M said she was just looking for a broom. I will make sure to have a broom, a mop, and a dust pan out for PA. My space is my space. It's hard having privacy without looking like the "pit bull."

Shee! Had to say it. I am not a good people person. I am horrible at it.