Thanksgiving Week

It's Thanksgiving week with temperatures dropped. It feels like Thanksgiving, it feels like storms are coming, turkeys are being purchased and thawed And being kept in the fridge until Thursday morning early. Pumpkin pies will be made and relish dishes With celery sticks, carrot sticks black olives and whatever else goes on a well filled out relish tray. Dough will be mixed, raised and formed into roles on that special day. And real butter will be used. Folding tables we brought up from the basement for the kids table.

It's a short week, this holiday week, I think one of the things I miss most being retired is looking forward to holiday. Weekdays when you feel you should be at work But because of the holiday you're not. You stay up late the night before, sleep in if you don't have to cook the dinner, and just hang out with family and friends. Thanksgiving in particular is stretched itself is a holiday from Thursday to now Friday making Thanksgiving major holiday event. It's amazing how luxurious that extra day of the Holiday Can feel. Quite frankly I'm amazed how many private nonprofit businesses shut down completely on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I still sore get a feeling of the holiday week. Like today I went in to Wellness Folks were all talking about what they were going to do or where they were going to go for Thanksgiving. Since Wellness is a state government program i.e. part of the University of Utah, they will be closing early Wednesday before Thanksgiving and will not reopen again until the following Monday. So no workout on Thursday or Friday. I guess I cannot fault them for wanting holiday – – who doesn't want a holiday? Even I want holiday and I'm retired . Hopefully I will see some of these folks again on my Wednesday workout. A couple of course will be leaving or traveling on Wednesday and will not make it in. That's cool because it's not that big a deal. It's just that holiday thing that reminds me that it is a holiday week.

Seems the days are going quickly, each day in the much closer to the surgery. Surgery is slated now for December 14 which means like three weeks to the cut date. I have been dreading this whole thing particularly fearful of how the surgery will leave me. Cannot say that I am scared just concerned. However over the past couple weeks I've noticed my level of spasticity is increasing. My ability to sleep is truly impact of as well as my mobility. However not as bad as before the last surgery spasms are getting quite challenging.. I guess what I'm building up to is that in a funny way I'm looking forward to the surgery if in fact that surgery will calm my spasticity is not rid myself of it entirely. I know there will be a trade-off I hope to trade-off is not so severe that I cannot deal with that trade-off. However, if it means a better quality life than I'm all for it.

Have to admit I'm kind of excited to be in this holiday week.

My Posse

I'm just back from working out at Wellness the Sugarhouse clinic. Today was the second day this week I made the clinic since I was released to physical activity Tuesday. I have to admit that I really like going to Wellness not so much for the physical Workout but for the Association I have with a number of the folks who come to Wellness..

One of those guys is an old fart named Tony. Tony is even older than I and It looks remarkably well and good for a guy his age. I don't know what brought Tony to Wellness but he is probably been going longer than I. He could be a stroke, head injury or something but not sure but as I said he's quite a character. He's one of these guys who yammer's a lot seems to try to make time with all the girls/female physical therapist and anyone else he can engage. Sometimes he wears you out but is always, at least for me, enjoyable to talk to. His only business last summer that I got to know a little of his background. I still not all that sure but he had one time worked pretty heavily in the motion picture industry. Did something in the background keeping things straight or something. Whatever it was, he seems to know everybody in the older industry, not so much the new Titans but the old Titans for sure. Even has his name on the number of credits for the amount of movies he has lost count on. I'm amazed/impressed with Tony.

Howard is another old guy who tends to hang with our group. Howard is really interesting. Knows wear shorts and he's older than I am excited been through the ringer couple times. Howard is from the East Coast and it looks the part. Yours has interesting tidbits but are discussing anything New York or the 50s and 60s. He called himself an old Jew – – nonpracticing. Howard has graduated From University, Which one I do not know. He's definitely been around the block and I don't know what his disability is although he is pretty high functioning. Do not see evidence of head injury are cerebral trauma of any kind. I think just bad bone/back kind of stuff.

Then there is Mark, actually there are a couple Marks: Mark K and March K. I call him Kirk because that's his last name and helps differentiate when all Marks are on the floor. Kirk has had some stenosis issues. Is older than I said quite a life. He small stature is headed back fused really has to rely on other folks to get by similar to me. Kirk often helps me with pillows, setting weights and other things around the gym I cannot do or get to. Is okay for the posse. Kendall is the other Mark. I think I've written about him before. When I first met Kendall I thought he was intellectually impaired but I enjoy talking to and Was impressed to find it actually had a career janitorial services at the Veterans Administration. I've not seen a lot of Kendall recently. For some reason Kendall hates Tony works his schedule around when he thinks Tony will not be in the gym, so I rarely see him anymore.

So this about posse the guys I work out with. They are a good bunch of guys My wish I knew better. I think I can get them together is coming Monday or Wednesday see if I can get a picture of us all that would be fun. Until then I am just using this picture of Tony, I call I his Frankenstein pose. It may not be nice but somehow it fits.

Good News Bad News

Just returned home from the medical clinic, At the University of Utah and all it was a good visit with my doc. It seems that wound is healing well, it is granulating – – whatever the hell that means – – and she put another dressing on the wound and encouraged me to keep doing the same thing for the next week and hope for closure. She also indicated that I need to increase my protein intake. She wants me to max out on protein, were talking up to 100 g a day whatever the hell that means. Hundred grams

protein were talking protein bars, drinks like Ensure And whatever else might be out there to increase protein. This of course is to assist the body in what it needs to finish mending my leg in that same time crept me for whatever is going to encounter the surgery. I kind of revolted at the hundred grams of protein but I decide what is right is best to go into the poker game with the best hand that you get.. She also described another antibiotic which is bigger and tougher than the last antibiotic that I got. It's just a lot of stuff considers me. I wish I didn't have to do all this but I do and got a be easier to work with. I think again, I've just about burnt out Dianne. I hate to think of living without her, In fact I think I would die literally on all levels. Just have to be better.

On the upside Katya, my doc,Has released me to return to Wellness which is good. I missed working out. In fact the whole thing About not going to wellness was a bit of a misunderstanding. Katya understood I was working with my legs at Wellness which is not the case I work entirely on upper body which is or has nothing to do with my wounded leg so she says by all means returned to Wellness. Have to see how the weather looks tomorrow and whatever since it's a bit of a challenge to wear shorts in the outside. It's overcast today cloudy cold almost cold Enough to snow.

After clinic we met Bridger and Asher for lunch at this little place in the Avenues. Places okay They did not serving Enough food, It was definitely a neighborhood joint but certainly had character. Boy, there's nothing corporate about it was almost an entire one-man show. It was kind of fun However little testy when begin to talk about my issues with compliance to medical direction. All downhill from there and I suppose it was my fault it always is. So, I'm going to increase my protein make focus on getting upbeat for the operation. There's not much I can do otherwise.

Searching For Control

It's Monday afternoon and again I missed my workout this morning at Wellness and sugarhouse because I'm having to take it easy do to my leg. I've been really good in compliance this last week in sitting In such Away that I did not put any pressure on the wound. This is taken almost all my resolve to do. Because, I know tomorrow(Which is my scheduled appointment with m doc)I will have my wound looked at And most likely have a fresh dressing applied which I will have to suffer another week. So I will have just a short time, I think, after I get rolling papers before I have my surgery and who knows how long I'm going to be out of commission following the surgery.  It's getting close and begin to feel some anxiety not so much with the surgery, which definitely there is some, but more with what happens afterwards and how much this is going to affect my life our lives Financially particularly in just How We'll get along and home health support the full gamut of becoming elderly/disabled elderly/in America.

I am having to wear a boot over my wrapped of leg. Therefore I have been wearing shorts at this late time of year. Luckily, the days of the Warm and I've not really left the house for any significant amount of time.It would be so difficult to get my booted foot in my pants so I guess I think the boot off long enough To Put My Pants on – – Maybe That's What I Will Do Tomorrow When We Go to the University Hospital at 1115. Today supposed to be the coldest and most wet days this week wearing shorts is not so bad. I've got a check for mail once or twice and it wasn't too uncomfortable.

So this is the way it is for  now, I'm not even really exercising home except for my green band. With the way my legs are bound together holding them straight up and down I cannot get close enough into my Saratoga silver to do my daily pump which bums me out. Hopefully I'll be back to my normal workout scenario soon. This has got to stop need to regain some form of control over my life.

Objects In Motion

It's really weird I know the people who love me and really care – – literally, try to understand why I hate laying in bed as much as I do But they don't really can't until they have to lie in the same bed feel the isolation.

One of the weird things I'm having do or that we are having to do right now is to find a another electric bed, You know, hospital type it. The one I have that we got from a local writer provider Being taken back by the vendor something weird like not being covered by my insurance which is bull because we checked with our provider in fact it wouldn't even give us the bed until our provider authorized the bed. Regardless, I'm having to get a new bed or another bed. So going back to all my resources where the fully electric hospital bed might be found. One of those places is the local Independent living Center. In this case the Utah Independent Living Center . Interestingly enough the person I called who I thought could give me some good Intel was not there and I left a message. A few minutes later I was contacted by the director of the independent living center was also a close friend. Her name is Deborah or Deb.

Deborah is a high quadriplegic, Deb is much more involved than I disabilitywise but she is totally independent as much a she can be. Deb cannot dress yourself, toilet yourself get in and out of bed by herself but she lives a full life, is director of the largest IL in Utah has traveled all over the country and manages your life to the max. As I visited with Deb about the bed She mentioned how it was impossible for her to also stay in bed if she didn't have to and if she had to how horrible the experience was. I can't explain but was so happy to find someone who understood how I felt.

I stayed in bed wonderful day this week in an effort to assist my wounded leg heal. I watched movies one after another all day. Doing this will survivable and got me through the day but I could not face another day watching the sun go from one end of my window to the next even if I had total entertainment. I can use my tablet or my cell phone dictate posts to the blog, letters, emails or even make calls very same things I would do if I were sitting at my computer in my computer room up in my chair. I think it's the ability to move. Movement regardless of how short the distance is so meaningful to someone who has reduced ability.. I think it may also be that scientific principle “objects in motion tend to stay in motion objects at rest tends to have rest”. I guess I'm afraid if I stay at rest too long I may not get moving again. Already I'm having to stay home from working out and even at home because I have to find my legs together so my injured leg does not press against my foot pedal cannot get close enough to very and bike or Saratoga Silver to use it. I'm not losing strength I don't think right now but I'm not building any strength either.

Dianne got me up this morning and I'm so thankful. Dianne helped me out of my shorts and help me transfer into my chair. I shaved, finished dressing, got me a quick breakfast, took my meds and washed dishes. I was an object in motion, I am an object of motion and I intend to stay in motion

Spasms B Not Proud

My spasms of gotten worse over the past couple of weeks, not looking forward to my upcoming operation, but this by having the operation my spasticity slackens and I'll be able to get some sleep then the operation was then worthwhile – – I do not know the worth deficits which might be left from the surgery hopefully I can exercise those away or fill them up again however whatever happens.

I am dragging my butt Today is a result of not being able to sleep most of which is due to the spasms experience into the sucking bed, hospital bed. This is a short-term problem however since we been Informed by Intermountain healthcare that we need to turn the bed as soon as we can find a replacement for it, something to do with my insurance provider not covering the bed. Hopefully I'll catch up on some sleep tonight. I've been searching around some of my old contacts in hopes of finding a hospital bed that we can have and which meet my needs. I even put out some feelers out on the web hopefully someone will bite me some information about accessible hospital type bed.

I spent the day in bed yesterday in order to keep pressure off my wound. This drives me crazy Staying in bed all day. I watched five different movies is about 10 hours of not more of Amazon viewing. It certainly helped me get past the day I hate wasting a day watching TV. This morning Carl and I devised a system that allows me to sit up my chair and have my feet on the hangers without putting pressure on the side of my leg. I just hope and pray the medical intervention Fixes the problem. I just don't understand why things keep getting worse and worse medically. I don't see the Doc again until this coming Tuesday and hopefully we'll see lots of progress then.

I really miss not being able to get to the gym/rehab facility workout. I do what I can here at the house but it's kind of limiting plus I miss my Association, however limited, with the other folks who come to the Wellness facility to work out. Im pretty sure I'll be limited again next week when I go to the doctor to see how my leg is doing. That means if I'm released to be a little workout the following week all have to deal with Thanksgiving and I doubt if I'm going to pay for the month of December since I will have my surgery in the first half of the month and I be down for who knows how long after that. Hopefully I'll be able to do some working out once I have the operation and I am rehabbing on Ward and after that skilled nursing facility I end up being at.

I know this is a draft posting but not a whole lot is happening in my life right now just prepping for the operation: and what comes next hopefully a wonderful spring.

Heal Dam You

It just never stops. I wonder if I'm going to ever be healthy again, and be truly healthy is much as I can be healthy as a quadriplegic. A couple days ago maybe a week or two I was undressing and I scraped by leg. I did not even know that I had scratched my leg but was told that I had by my wife. I really did not pay much attention to the fact until couple days later in my spasticity increased And I was feeling a little pain in my leg. But my Dianne checked She found I had a major wound on the side of my leg! We watched the wound for a day or so until Dianne got really concerned and we made a trip into my doc.

By Doc or more specifically PA is great and she immediately started caring for the wound space cleaning and getting the wound ready for dressing. I'm so pleased and lucky Dianne had been doing all the right things to minimize the wounds impact but still needed professional attention. However the result was putting my leg into a boot made of guaz that is medicated. And looks like I will have to wear this boot for at least a week when I go back to have the leg looked at and evaluated. Most likely I will have to wear the boot again for another week and then possibly a week after that. Plus during this time I can not participate in Wellness are other activities which might traumatize the dressing in the wound. Essentially this is home confinement and I had to accept that – – which I have. I cannot believe this happened in trying to be upbeat about the whole issue. However I'm going to try to keep some of my exercise routine here at the house going with the mindset at keeping my leg is free of pressure as possible. I'm having to do sponge baths since showers which seems like a step backwards. I plan to use this time to catch up was writing, sketching and communications as well as finding a different hospital bed. So I'm going to look upon this healing time as a gift and enjoy it as much as possible.

Techno

1001 trying to time the relentlessly banal I got the paper now he's using is the nice check to see that the no liability for me lately (I and when was th well that's strange I don't know Sadie got up I remember you I don't reiterate that wasn't right unfurling Tibet was designed as I trained I must embrace another time during the night because it might just make you I drank not I I I is okay why don't you let me be a little less yesterday

my struggles on the reliable rooms place eyelet screws were able to call this the warm about know the Lord bless you how mine is a staff is was I listening to Cedillo on you absolutely will I think the relentlessly thing right now trying to not let my imagination but I think that is because that is a nice is really strange I go on Hannity

I use/have a voice to text program which I like very much and use as much as I can Overall the program works pretty well And I'm basically pleased. The program has some issues which I'm sure if they bothered me enough I could research out and fix. However, I don't use the program enough and professional situations where exactness matters. There's all kinds of things I can do to train my computer to better understand my voice, inflections and personal vocabulary but so far I have just to lazy to hone the program. I use a headset which is not the best headset in the world which I am sure would make a big difference, but again I'm either too lazy too cheap To make a change.

The first paragraph of this post is the result of leaving my headset on with the program. What is written in this paragraph is the result of couple minutes of me talking in the background, not knowing the program is still functioning, and the poor program picking whatever it can up through the headphones. It tries to make words out of whatever he hears resulting an interesting paragraph to say the least. I thought about deleting this paragraph but on second thought imagined it would make an interesting post. I am thinking I might just do this on purpose sometime to see if it would stimulate any ideas to write about. Will have to see.

Train Ride

I could not help myself. I have really been trying to be better at sniping images of people in public which I think are interesting. I thought about actually offering some of these people of interest a buck for their image. I just haven't known how to get around to asking that person for permission. I think I'll do it though one of these first days. I don't mean to poke fun at these folks just there images and plights are so interesting to me. I know I got a great deal of the sport when I was posting an image once a day from my ride in to work On the train or bus.. I'm afraid as long as I out in public an have an option to harvest an image here and there I will do that.

Yesterday was a pretty good day even though I struggled through the night trying to sleep. If only come to grips with the fact that my spasticity is definitely getting worse or my night spasms are getting worse. I tried to sleep with the legs bent because it's more comfortable for me but my spasms tend to straighten my legs like somebody was pulling on my legs. Sometimes if I'm lucky I can raise my bed or situate my body in such a way that my legs are bent up and uncomfortable for a short period of time and if lucky can drop off into a sleep. However it seems to always, leg spasm, I awake start the process all over again. I am blessed that at least I'm not in pain when this happens – – even though it looks as if I am. I'm just in some discomfort both from the spasm in the knowledge that I will not be at the top of my performance the next day. Hopefully the upcoming operation will lighten up the amount of spasticity I am now experiencing. I was coming home from my Wellness session. And I boarded the train at 2100 S. at the central city station. I sit at the front of the train and look back on the rest of the seats and in the first seat that I saw and noticed this large fellow sitting just sort of staring off into the distance. He looked tired, detached forlorn. The train Rocked back and forth As we hurled down the track And I clung to my chair to not be thrown out. This is when I noticed the traveler Had a folded piece of cardboard at his side. This guy was a better man one of those people who stand at driveways the supermarkets are interstates with a sign saying they would do something for money usually work. I cannot read but was obvious guys placard but obviously he was either traveling from point a to point B or maybe it reached his daily quota was heading home for a big night after stopping at the market first or maybe even the liquor store.It didn't matter to me whether market or liquor store,hell he had earned his money – – I think begging is one of the hardest jobs there is. He was most likely going to another intersection for the going home people. It was the middle the afternoon when we shared a train. He had the look of a factory worker with two jobs Just trying to stay awake to make ends meet.

November Thoughts

I'm really trying not to let this whole surgery thing freak me out. And I really think I'm doing pretty well. I've accepted the fact that surgeries coming and that I spend time in the hospital and then spend time in a long-term care facility i.e. nursing home rehabbing. So I know this is all going to have it is real now I can almost touch it. However, when I got home today from my workout sugarhouse, Dianne informed me that the surgery is not 10 December as I have been told surgery is now 14 December. Changing the date the surgery is not really a big deal but just sort of irks me. But I remember when I had a discussion with nurse Susie about when I wanted it surgery she often the 14th and I said no I want the 10th  soon as I could this was the first surgery date that was open on Dr. Daly's  schedule.They can be so screwed up and just doing the calendar what else can they screw up on? Like I said it's not a huge deal is big enough to be just a little bit of stress.

I've been having trouble trying to get my posts on any type of regular basis I don't know why except for I think I'm a little bit shy in dictating to the machine when other people are around. So I try to find times when I'm alone but they never get around to dictating the posting. So for the first time I think I'm going to start working on posts that may be less than the 500 words  I have labored to do when updating my blog. I would like to get into some sort of rhythm With my blog posts but that can be real difficult next couple months as I deal with the surgery and its consequences. I would just have to do the best that I can and hope that everything is not surgery focused… I really am trying not to be a major drama mama on this whole thing.