Sunday Night Pizza

My apartment smells funky. Last week at the food bank I got a pizza shell package, two thin crust pizza crusts, the crusts are made from sprouted wheat kernels whatever that means. I'm sure it someplace between New Age and organic food that obviously won't sell (because this is the second time I got this handout from the food bank). It's hard to wrap my head around the idea of whole wheat pizza crusts I'm sure they are okay or Trader Joe's would not sell them. And perhaps that's part of the irony here that obviously the crusts aren't selling and that's why the pizza crusts are at the food bank.

The cold front funding through and the temperature is not super cold out but today was overcast and kind of chilly. The package of pizza crusts have been nagging at me for the last two weeks. I finally threw the last package of crests away two weeks ago probably the same week that I got these that I use today. Another one of my guilty pleasures is hamburger homemade pizza. My mom used to make hamburger homemade pizza almost every Friday or Saturday night. She made the pizza square cookie sheets and the pizza was great. It was never fancy pepperoni's or Canadian bacon just good old hamburger. I figured today was a good day to stay in and make some pizza and use up one of pounds of hamburger I recently acquired from the food bank. The only drawback was I had really have any cheese. The closest thing I have in the apartment is two bricks of that “cheese” product, that stuff like Velveeta cheese stuff. So after my son Mark Anthony left this afternoon I combined into my legs put in my side cushion and went across the street and got some shredded mozzarella can of chopped olives and even masterpieces. The vegetables I got from Amy earlier in the week and the pasta sauce from the food bank I said.

I have is a pound of food bank hamburger out. It looked okay more or less but smelled a little funny which I sort of hoped would maybe would cookout. I should just run the meat out I have a problem this way. I went ahead and cooked the meat. Me smelled a little but not too bad. It tasted quirky but not bad as I've tasted bad before. I chopped up the onions green pepper and I opened up the pizza crusts and put one on my pizza sheet. I dressed the pizza crest: tomato sauce (as liberal as I dared), almost the entire stack of mozzarella cheese, green pepper, chopped onion mushroom pieces and chopped. The ingredients added quite a bit of weight to the overall pizza. I was challenged not only gave the pizza pie in the oven later getting the pizza out.I was really hoping the smell would cookout. The pizza kind of of did block the smell at first but then the funky odor came back after I and a couple pieces. It tasted okay basically but needed more spices. I'm debating whether to keep the rest of the meat. I doubt I will keep the other pizza crust and I will try to jump down the rest of the pizza I made today. However, I plan not to use that week pizza crust again. In the next me I can't from food bank at least it skeptical of its going out to the dumpster. My stomach feels a little curious but the demo can tell tomorrow and Dana comesfor my morning routine.

Work!! Is

One of my favorite people in this world is Amy. In short Amy is a benefit specialist type of person. She knows 1 million things to help a person be more independent. She works primarily with people who are developmentally disabled and I used to have the office next to hers when I was employed by the state of Utah. We shared a lot since I was an information specialist as she was to to a certain degree. Anyway you will remember that she brought me a couple of bags of vegetables earlier this week.

Amy is a real straight shooter she lets her know what you think specially if she feels if what she's thinking will assist you. We talked about a lot of stuff but she was here. It will be specially talk about stuff that might help me like if I were to figure out a way to make some money or I came into some money how could I manage that money so the rest of my benefits are not affected negatively. The financial dance is very complicated and you really got I have a good teacher to teach in the steps and lucky for me Amy is one of the best. Of course, the best way to increase one's income, legally is to earn more money which means most typically getting a job. I considered this issue quite a bit the last couple months since my but seems to gotten so much better and I'm tolerating being left much better than I was. The major problem I have is that if I earn more income than I must report that to the folks here at the apartment complex and this will have an impact on the amount of rent I pay. This is only right and make sense but seems kind of frustrating. Any was quick to share with me a program it to which allows me to place the money into certain accounts which then I used to live… Like a special account for hiring my home health professionals. I really don't want to earn a lot of extra money. In fact if you will remember earlier posts about trying to get “hired” at the theater down the street. Once employed I would be able to go to as many movies as I would like as well to get discounts on popcorn, drinks and of course theater candy! I wouldn't care how much I earned and would be more than happy to trade time worked for theater tickets. But that was really interesting was that Amy went on and on about there's more to work than just what I get paid. She was talking about the importance and value of having a place to go, a place to be a validation for doing something. Now I find about this myself a lot recently but it was just good to hear it from Amy. I really think he knows what she's talking about.

I don't know how seriously I'm going to pursue the movie connection. I would really like to participate in that but the local theater seems to make it such a hard goal to obtain. I just want a few hours, perhaps enough extra attendant care to feel a bit more secure. These are not great things but for all the things that Amy talked about important things to me.

Organically Yours

Last summer I got this great vacuum cleaner from this old cleaning shop across the street from my apartment complex. The place sold all kinds of cleaning supplies and items for vacuum cleaners. I don't remember the name of the place. In fact the place is no longer there. I had dropped in to see about getting some cleaning supplies for my apartment. When I went and to the store for the first time I was met by a female maybe just a little bit younger than me. She was one of the owners of the operation. She desperately outplace. She looked like a cross between the LDS really society president and a soccer mom. In fact she was just things. I found that her husband had some sort of progressive debilitating disease process. Her husband usually ran this part of the operation. However, his disability had worsened and now he was either at the hospital are in bed at home. The soccer mom was now running the operation. She looked bewildered, exhausted and confused.

A couple of weeks following my initial meeting with a lady I had returned because the vacuum cleaner that came with the divorce stopped operating. The machine's motor| still worked the| brush bar would no longer spin, the brush bar is that piece in the front of vacuum which beats the right and told the dirt into the dirt bag. The vacuum shop is in the same strip mall as it supermarket I use. So I dropped in to the vacuum shop one morning I was shopping to ask about possible problems with my vacuum.. In short the lady offered me a vacuum cleaner they had overhauled but it never returned to pick up. She sold me the machine for $25 it was a deal. We also talked about her husband and his progressive disability. I gave her some insights and some options to call and I figured all is good.

I noticed this summer the lady in the cleaning supply shop were no longer there. I'm sure the lady had had enough. She was not about to be a shopkeeper. I'm sure she was overwhelmed with her husband I sure hope they did okay one where the other. My cleaning lady couldn't make it yesterday. I decided I would vacuum this morning and really start cleaning up the place… I don't need no cleaning lady. Halfway through my vacuum of my bedroom I accidentallysucked up part of my cool weather vest, I got to pull string wrapped up in the brush far and did the vacuum cleaner turned off quick enough and I burned small elastic bands which connects the brush bar to the motor.

I called my brother to let him know I needed his help. Of course, the game over this evening and we had a great visit. He checked out my vacuum cleaner and found a broken belt. II was hoping the polygamist hardware store, across the street, would have what I needed. And of course the hardware store had a gazillion belts but none the right size for me. He's going to a vacuum cleaner shop tomorrow.I'm looking forward to a working vacuum cleaning up my unit.

I was so pleased with myself today, I started using the produce that any dropped off yesterday afternoon. I love the organic-ness of things grown in the garden, no sharp edges here anywhere. I really got into taking images of a particularly shapely red pepper. I used to cover tonight when I cook my steak (which I got last week at the food bank) what a treat. Now I patiently wait for my brother to return.

Fresh Cukes, Tomatoes and Egg Plants Life is Good for him and

I've been kind of tired all day which is not surprising since I got up fairly early this morning. Once again I started waking up around 3:30 AM and finally drag out around 6:30 AM. I didn't sleep well because my cleaning person was coming today. I think I was kind of freaked out because my cleaning person now is the same person who is by home health person. I don't know why this is such a big deal to me but it kind of is to the point where I'm losing sleep over the concept. I think I'm worried that she will not do a good job and I'll have to be all managerial. Even if that were the case (which I think it will not be) I would manage and that would be it.

Get this. When I finally did get up I actually started cleaning up the apartment so my thinking person would not have to do as much. I should have checked as soon as I got up I had a feeling. I checked messages when I turned on NPR soon after I did get up and found a message from my home health person that she is not going to be able to clean today. The message was sent about 5 AM. It seems I heard something at that point but did not put together the idea that it was a message (modern technology is lost on me). I was relieved and kind of crestfallen at the same time. I really kind of wanted my apartment to look nice.

Around lunchtime to hear a knock on my door and it's one of my best ex-work friends, Amy. Amy's great and Amy is quite the gardener. I know this from years past. I've been on Amy's case for the past three weeks to get some of her incredible tomatoes. Well anything through today with a bag of not only tomatoes but cucumbers, paddy squashes, eggplants!, And a few other items I cannot remember right now. Have to admit I was a bit embarrassed at how I felt the apartment looked but Amy indicated the apartment looks pretty good. I forced myself to believe Amy and got me thinking I'm going to work on the apartment myself and get the apartment passable, at least by my standards, and then if I get the benefits of a cleaning person that is good if not I'll continue to limp around and ask Mark Anthony to help me pick up the place a little but it really becomes necessary.

I worked on the apartment all afternoon well part of the afternoon, I worked out as usual and then jumped the bus and went down to the library for Next Chapter. I wanted more than kitchen and I had add the time. I'm kind of excited because I'll have this great project to do all weekend long working on my living space. This should be an ideal weekend for such a project. Supposed to rain with a cold front moving in tomorrow. I don't have any reason to leave the apartments this weekend. I'm looking forward to cleaning, reading and maybe a little bit of writing... How lucky am I?.

Glory Days

Glory Days

I spent a good part of my career as manager for Access Utah Network Utah only information I dedicated to answering questions about disability. I kind of loved that job. I hated leaving the position that is why I was so disturbed this afternoon while attending an open house at UCAT that when talking to someone in trying to tell them what I did for the state could not remember the name of my organization. This did not frightening as much as not remembering the name of Access Utah Network frustrated me. It made me wonder if my job/position had been so inconsequential that even I can no longer remember the name of the organization. Actually the mind cramp did not bother me that much what did bother me was not been associated with all the good people that I worked with over the three decades that I've been here in Utah. There was a bunch of wheelchair vans on display by three different organizations/companies which either represented or built accessible vehicles. I used to work closely with all these companies only one of the folks selling wheelchair accessible vans remembered me. Like I said though that's okay those were part of my glory days!

I thought about blowing the open house off. I did not even remember the open house and tell I was asked if going last week when I was at CREATE getting my power chair adjusted. I said that I was and today I went. I was hoping there'd be some kind of a lunch. In the past they've had pizza, barbecue and cold cuts. However, funding cutbacks continue to play state programs and feeding the public always goes first. By the time I got to what was available the pickings are slim, warm pieces of cheese, limp vegetables and bottled water. I passed. Maybe I'll get lucky and find something on the way home.

There was of course a mandatory “floor show”. Various employees of different agencies working in the building gave presentations of what they did with their particular organization. I was mildly interested mostly so for the presentation of Brian. I cannot say Brian is a friend of mine, I barely know him even though he seems to always been at the UCAT facility. Brian is a major quadriplegic. I'm surprised the guy's still alive. I know you got some major traumas the past couple years one specifically being a pressure sore which is refused to heal however he looked pretty good today. Brian gave a presentation on his life as a person with a disability. Brian like myself incurred his disability as an adolescent. Brian did his University work graduating as an electrical engineer. I was impressed. Honestly, I've never really tried to communicate with this man because his disability overwhelmed me. I just didn't know how to communicate with Brian. I still don't and I doubt that I will try very hard but I will give him high marks for the most interesting presentation of the day.

Blustery Day

Chaffee Hall

The storm is almost here the low-pressure front is certainly taken its time all day to get here. I was afraid that I was going to get caught traveling back and forth to my meeting but when I called I was informed that, once again, my Assist meeting had been canceled. To be honest I was kind of glad because is much as I like my volunteer position with this “coffee group”I didn't really want to be out in the elements if I did not have to be.

I looked out my window and the wind was blowing the trees seem to dance in rhythm to the gusts. Had the day been later in the season this wind will be hard at work pulling beautifully colored leaves off trees then parading hosts of leaves down sidewalks and across park will will lawns. The morning clouds which covered the sky looked menacing and a bit foreboding . I got the impression they wanted me to stay in bed and blow off the day. I slipped into a daydream and traveled back in time 40 years or so to the early 70s in a dorm room in Chaffee Hall on the campus of what State University. I can tell by the rain bouncing off my window that the day was going to be wet and cold. Tuesday's where my math and science days – – actually lab days. Anatomy and physiology and biology and of course Math(I have met every day that semester). Had the day been a Monday Wednesday and Friday I would be in lectures in the old science building. I had a spot next to the pipes going to the second floor perfect place to cat nap during long, dry lectures. Other days when I chose to blow off class entirely I would wander over to the second floor of the library where I had discovered record players with headphone jacks and the music library for the music department – – of course all students to check out the vinyl and listen. I spent whole Saturday and Sunday rainy afternoons lost in music on the second floor. I did not know it then, one never knows it then but these would be some of the best days of my life.

I've been trying to eat more salads which means I have to have ingredients to make salads. At the food bank on Saturday I got a head of lettuce as well as a bag of romaine lettuce. I need tomatoes and cucumbers at least to make a decent salad. I'm not necessarily trying to be healthy (although that's not a bad thing) by I am trying to lose weight and I hope salads will help. I thought about jumping the bus going down to Walmart just because the local market has produce a little expensive and I'm not too excited about its quality but I was not intrigued with the idea of busing down a couple blocks for produce so I elected to take off and head over to fresh market just down the street. I was shocked when I burst outside and found that although the outside was overcast and windy the day was not cool but actually kind of hot I was surprised.

I got what I needed and headed back to the apartments. I spent the rest of the afternoon working on puzzles and reading. I feel guilty for having lost a day where I could have been a bit more productive. Many times, too many times, while at Chaffee Hall I did just that, sleep away a rainy afternoon when I should've been studying and preparing. I felt I had all the time in the world. Now I do not dare waste this gift I have of life. Rain clouds are no clouds I intend to use every day is much as I can because I really since my days are numbered.

Yo Yo Me

Do you ever feel like a yo-yo? I'm beginning to feel a little bit like one and I'm not sure quite what to do. I'm acting like it is a dilemma but I do not even know if it is a dilemma are not yet. Today, Monday, is Monday for home health. My person shows up as usual which is great. And early on she informed me that she probably will not be able to do the housekeeping we talked about last week. Inadvertently, she filled her calendar with job commitments to her agency – – this is good I'm glad, totally glad she is getting the hours she needs. I don't know if I'm reading the situation will but I almost got the feeling that perhaps she rethought the offer to clean my apartment. Honestly, I'm a little relieved because I wasn't sure if this new work concept between us the damage our relationship. I don't think the work arrangement would be that detrimental but who knows?

We did talk a little bit however about other options if she can manage some time. Maybe I don't need two hours a session. I suggested perhaps we can do just one hour once a week and see how that might work. She seemed to respond fairly positively saying that I have a small unit in that she did work pretty fast. I agreed and felt an intense 60 minutes cleaning regimen might be all I need to keep the apartment fairly respectable from one week to the next. This of course led to the next question now, with the offering to do the one hour option to hold me over until I could find another cleaning person. I'm sure we'll visit more on this dilemma on Wednesday when she comes.

I have to admit I'm getting a little bit nervous because I had such good luck so far with cleaning folks. Actually I've never had a problem with my cleaning people. I have not had that many but we seem to get along fine and I do more than pleased with the work they been able to produce. I need something however, I have grown addicted to having a clean apartment. I really do think better when I have someone clean up after me. As I said I have become kind of kind of spoiled. The people I've have content by people I like, people I trust would not take advantage of me or my belongings. I have heard horror stories from other folks who have apartment clean from hell and I do not need that. So I'm going to keep my ear to the ground maybe even get a couple of players in the bullpen who I can call up if need be. I might even fall back on the old go to a calling the local bishop or the relief Society president to see if they might know someone in the Ward could earn a couple bucks. It's not like I want to put the kid through college I just need some floors mopped, things put away and sheets changed every couple of weeks. But really – – I really hope my home health person will do the job. I really trust your

G L O R I A

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I woke rather late this morning almost 7 AM! That's great actually the first time this week or last week now that I actually got enough sleep that I didn't feel groggy when I woke. But I was surprised to see that the sky was overcast. There were clouds. Dense clouds the kind of clouds which promise moisture. I laid there in bed sometime , I can do that on Sunday mornings. I have no meetings nor do I have staff coming in to help me do my program. I thought about waking up to clouds and how much I missed files the last couple of months. I hope it rains soon.

The clouds reminded me of Gloria, a friend of mine, a fellow employee when I worked at Salt Lake United Way 211. Gloria was the same pod as me. Gloria was a graduate student I believe from school social work. She was kind of mysterious but very friendly to me which I appreciated. Gloria was smart, you could tell she was smart in that way you can tell a person smart buy just the way they conduct themselves. Gloria loved the rain she love storms, Gloria loved stormy nights with great winds and monstrous lightning flashes the bigger the better. While I worked at 211 we never had enough storms to satisfy Gloria. So now anytime there's the possibility of stormy weather I think of Gloria.

Gloria is very Hispanic, she of course is one of the English/Spanish speaking operators on the 211 staff. I have never asked Gloria about her politics but I'm convinced that Gloria is a Marxist is not she should be. What little bit I understand of Marxism I doubt that I am a very good representative. I do however worked very hard to make sure the minorities and low-income get a fair shake. More than once that I have knockdown drag out discussions with callers on the phones at 211 sticking up for the lower classes. I got in trouble more than once instructing folks who had called in with problems either with their rent or with medical issues or in some cases disability issues since I was the “disability guide” on staff. Gloria, was in the cubicle directly on the other side of mine and she often heard my conversations. Gloria always encouraged me forward. Gloria is totally down to earth, she does not wear fatigues but she does choose to wear the uniform of the student, lots of flannel and denim, flip-flops for summer and old Converse All-Stars during the cold weather. Gloria has had her Masters degree sometime now her wardrobe might be different now. However, earlier this summer I had lunch with my old staff from 211 and the girl looked laid back as ever. There were three or four staff at 211 I really enjoyed while I worked there.

There's a building in downtown Salt Lake that has a giant image of the Madonna. It's a beautiful rendition was even more remarkable is that I think it looks exactly like Gloria from 211. I really thought she could have been the model and I asked her as much. Gloria just blushed and said no it was not her then laughed at me and punched me in the arm as Gloria does. I still think she's the secret model for the Salt Lake Madonna and if she's not she should be.

Saturday Today

I'm tired tonight almost to the point of not doing the blog but I've got to do the blog. I almost posted this morning soon after I had gotten up and was getting into my day however I felt compelled to get my washing into the laundry, then it was breakfast. I made garbrock today, my semi famous recipe which by any other name would be corned beef hash but I have the twists of broccoli, onions and celery and of course garlic in the mix. This is such a pitiful breakfast/dish but I love it. I must eat my garboc sparingly I'm sure the dish is loaded with calories. Potatoes and canned meat what could be more lethal weight wise? By the time I finished breakfast, running the wash through the dryer twice and then doing my time on my arm bike working out 30 minutes one thing led to the other and now in force myself to write this post essentially of my days events.

I don't know why but I'm not sleeping very well actually I sleep okay once I get to bed but then I'm waking up during the night. Many times in the dead of night and I have to use the restroom and even after, if I'm fortunate, get back to sleep I awake again well before 6 AM the time I get up if I can't sleep. If I go to bed early than them up very early. So I try to get to bed by 11 PM which generally wakes me up around 3 AM to 3:30 AM which I doze until six when I allow myself to rise and get on with my day. The major problem with this is that I'm in that “fog” sleep and in the evening. I find it difficult to be creative at this evening hour.

I almost went to the movies this afternoon. I cranked my bike very early so I knew I had the time to get in a matinee but when I checked was playing I was totally bummed with the possibility of one Marvel of offering there is absolutely nothing playing at the Regal where I go for my movies. I'm spending too much time doing cryptograms. I like to believe that I'm being productive and providing a good workout for my brain but I think I'm just passing time which kind of spooks me. I'm even playing the one and only video game more than I should. If I were in adolescent I would expect my parents to be yelling at me for wasting my time on cryptograms. I suppose the most productive thing I've done today besides my laundry was going over to food bank and getting my weekly ration. I just love this exercise. The ladies love me. Today I not only got frozen lasagna I also got another high-end steak. Distinctive courses frozen I threw it in the freezer but now I have two really nice cuts of meat that I would never purchase even when I'm flush. I thawed out the split chicken breast I got last week from the food bank. I'm going to use the fried breasts to cut up into smaller pieces for Frank. I cannot believe how much food I've gotten from food bank. I still think I get a lot of crap, caloric crap but the protein against as well as qualify fresh vegetables/fruits I cannot not visit the food bank every Saturday.

The winds picked up today as a cold front moves through, no rain but wind and clouds, temperature and high 80s with the promise of change. Supposedly will get rain by the middle or end of next week. I heard from either family today. I'm meeting my older brother and a half sib for lunch on Thursday… It's supposed to rain.

Throwing Stones

One of my favorite scriptures from the Bible is “he that is without sin let him cast the first stone” this is a fairly accurate quotation from John chapter 8 v 7. I like the verse because it captures everyone at one point or another in their lives. I had to reflect back on the Scripture yesterday and hold my tongue as I rolled into the library and saw Jason at the checkout counter going over his weekly cache of DVDs. Seeing Jason at the checkout counter was not a surprise what was was seen Kelli , his staff, Jason's DEAD standing right behind him! I was surprised and not surprised at the same time. Granted, I totally bought Jason's story last week but the at the same time seeing a very much alive Kelli did not really surprised me either. I was glad to see Kelli and commented on healthy appearance for a dead person. I told her what had happened and she pretty much laughed it off. I don't think she really believed me it was only after Rikki on the other office staff recounted the same story did Kellie begin to believe our stories. Kelli actually kind of supported Jason as the prankster he must be by reminding us that she had indicated two weeks before that she would not be at last week's reading. And then I remembered that was true.

I was kind of surprised that I was not more upset with Jason. Even if I have not been reminded that Kelli was not going to be at last week's meeting. Jason is kind of had a hard time integrating with this group and I am pleased with how well he seems to have taken to reading. I think Jason's reading increased reading ability has been one of the most pronounced of the groups.

Some 50 years ago I was an adolescent with a spinal cord injury, a new spinal cord injury, trying to live and integrate back into my community. It was bad enough being a teenager, a teenager without a job, a teenager who was quadriplegic living in a rural community. I did not have a way to earn money therefore any money that I did have I got from parents. It was during this era of my life that I came across the idea to send a letter to each of my siblings who were older than I of which they were four who I felt could send me some money. I fabricated a great story (easily seen through by my siblings) about having cancer. I wrote the letter as if my parents had written the letter asking that anything they could spare be sent to me directly. Of course, first thing that the older sisters did was contact the folks and the story. I think one sister sent the dollar to help me with my life as a fiction writer. Nothing really happens to me following this incident except that I was more than a little embarrassed of my charade. Really did make me kind of a jerk. But maybe that's what I thought about Jason. I don't know why Jason fabricated the story but he did and yes, the kind of makes him a jerk. But who am I to throw stones?

Every Body Must Get Stoned

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It took me forever to realize that the name of this song was Rainy Day Woman and not Everyone Must Get Stoned. Bob Dylan is not one of my super favorite writers/performers, but he certainly up there at the top. Bob is one of my favorite links to the past the glorious music of the 60s. When I think of rainy Day women I think of somebody out there having to work their butts off just to get by, All the girls/women out there are working hard for their money.

I kind of feel like I'm getting on top of my finances a little bit following this summer's financial hemorrhaging. The rejuvenation of the wheelchair van, paying off the emergency dental I had done last year and a couple of surprise payouts I had to cope with. I did run up by credit card debt a little bit, right now, I'm okay with where my credit card debt is at I just need to bring it in under control, like everyone else. The apartments okay it's not at 1 yet as far as entropy goes I'm feeling I need to get my clean person back online and put some attention to the apartment. It's been nearly a month since she was last at my place and I was about ready to call and schedule an appointment for her to drop by when I received a text message from her. I figured she was going to tell me what days should be available next week for her to drop by for a couple hours and imagine my surprise when she told me she was going to have to quit being my cleaning person. I knew she is p plagued with health and many times she is having cancel a cleaning date because of a flareup with her fibromyalgia/Crohn's disease. However, because of some stressful issues happening in her life causing her disability flareup she could no longer meet my needs.

Needless to say this is going to cost me stress but not very much. I'm just going to have to take minute and ask around and see what I can find. I kind of put the idea on the “back burner” and was living my life this morning and I had just started my bowel program and started grousing about having to find a new cleaning person to Dana, my home health staff. I talked about Dana a couple times she's great. I've mentioned that she is really my only staff who actually done cleaning while I was going through my bowel program. I was impressed. I really wasn't trying but was pleased when Dana suggested that possibly I could hire her (under the table). I of course jumped on the suggestion. Hopefully, Dana can start this coming Monday. I plan to purchase two hours. Maybe, two hours the first of the month and another to halfway through. That would basically be $80 a month. I think I can do that is not I know I can do $40 a month. I have some trepidation. I hope I can manage Dana effectively and not get screwed. Dana's always been a straight shooter, a bit of an eccentric that's why we get along so well I just hope everything does not change. The only thing now which concerns me is what do I do with Cindy and she comes back. That's a bridge I will cross when I get to it…

Do Gooder... Not Me!!

I am not a do-gooder! I am not altruistic at least I do not believe I am altruistic not that there's anything wrong with being altruistic being altruistic is just not me. Having said that however I do care about folks in my life… Kinda. Remember my post from last week? I wrote about my little toenail which has been growing out of control and finally got nearly ripped off by putting on my shoe. I went upstairs and had my friend Steve the retired surgical nurse but a dressing on my total stop the pain and protect the little toe from any further trauma. Steve is actually in the apartment directly above my apartment. I like these apartments they really took care to insulate one unit from the other so I don't hear much which goes on above me or to the unit on my side. I really only know that Steve is there when I hear Steve flush his toilet. When Stephen flushes it sounds like a jet engine taking off.

I worry about this guy. He is very old, even older than I! Stephen is tall and lanky (is that redundant?) In fact he's a bit teetery. However, Stephen still holds a drivers license and he does have a vehicle. He drives though I've never seen this but I believe him. I've noticed lately when in his apartment Stephen tends to use a manual wheelchair for mobility just to be on the safe side. I can appreciate that. This weekend as I was going through my DVD collection I noticed I had duplicates of Jason Bourne movies, the Bourne Identity and the Bourne Supremacy. I don't know, I went through a period of time that if I didn't I cannot find a movie I would order another off Amazon or by happen to see a movie I like in the DVD discount barrel for less than five bucks I will buy the DVD on principle just to make sure I have access to the DVD should I need. I knew that one time Stephen had indicated you like political thrillers/spy type novels. I figured I can dump these off with Stephen make some space on my DVD shelf and end up looking like a good guy. (Call this altruistic if you like but clearly I was doing the giving for my own benefit) I was a little chagrined when Stephen indicated he only had both titles. Oh well, I tried.

When I did not hear the toilet flush or here Stephen scrabbling around upstairs I get worried. It's not that I live in constant fear that Stephen's going to kick the bucket but the guy is pretty old and seems pretty frail. I know the jokes going to be on me when I kick first. But while I was up there this afternoon talking of all things artificial intelligence, the Terminator series and the novel Stephen says he's “writing”. I broached the subject of getting a picture of Stephen and I together. I've had the strongest feeling the last couple of weeks that I need to do this or I'm going to be sorry. I was pleased Stephen had no objections to getting his picture taken with me. I also wanted to get an image of Steven's head. I want to try to draw it. Today I got the image.

I'm going to be sorry that I'm befriending this guy like I am. I really have not made a lot of friends around this place for the same reason I haven't gotten a pet in the last 10 years because every living thing dies and pets and old people are just waiting to break your heart.

Guilty Pleasure

Podiatry day. I don't know why but nine weeks ago when I set the appointment for the next session of podiatry I purposely set the time at 8:15 AM! I knew this would be a struggle for me but still I set the time and was willing to do whatever I needed to to meet this appointment. I thought about going to bed early but of course that did not happen. I just figured I would wake up 4:30 AM usual and make the appointment.

I woke this morning about 4:38 AM. I was unsure of going back to sleep for fear I would deep sleep and miss .my appointment. I played peekaboo the clock for the next 90 minutes. I figured if I got up by six I would have more than enough to make 10:15 AM appointment. You have to realize that 217 is not a straight through bus route. The 217 into the West Jordan train station where it turns into the 218 and then continues south on the road going right past my podiatrist's office. The only drawback is that I have to build in at least 15 minutes to my trip. If I don't build this time in to my trip I can be very late is not good for the doctors appointment. Today was good. I was actually feeling pretty good for as little sleep as I have gotten. I even had enough to consider breakfast. I guess I could've prepared something at the apartment-- actually I had a half a piece of toast from yesterday which held me over quite nicely.

As I dressed this morning I knew the temperature was going to be cool. I've made a mistake in the past on early fall mornings but not this day. I actually done when my longsleeved T-shirts out out of the closet. This is the first longsleeved shirt I wore all season since early spring. And I was glad, there was a definite chill in the air as I bolted from the door of the apartments.

I should be responsible and not spend any more money until pay day. But I figured I deserved a treat for being so responsible and getting my toenails cut. I remembered my podiatrists's office is right in the middle but at the end of the block are some fast food joints. I had a half hour or so to kill and found a Burger King. A Burger King fat bomb, is the last thing that I need but guess what? I got the meal deal!! To be more specific I got the sausage egg biscuit, hash rounds and coffee!! Life does not get better than this!! There is just something delicious about fast food breakfasts. I try not to think what I'm doing to my body as I sink my teeth into the bundled sausage egg biscuit. I noticed, too late, I did not think to pick up napkins as I felt the grease ooze from the side of my mouth. I wiped my mouth on my long sleeve shirt. It was too late to go back to the napkins. I was in a heaven of taste. I bit the ketchup packet and squeeze a small red puddle sauce on my tray next to the fried potato rounds. The coffee was perfect this was exactly what I wanted my breakfast to be. I should've felt guilty as I munched down the sausage egg biscuit and crunched the rounds. I knew I would regret this pleasure when I weigh on Friday but sometimes you just have to let go and enjoy the carbs.

Premier Week

(I apologize I just cannot figure out an image that would best highlight today's posting.)

I am so shall I must confess that I'm totally excited that the new television season starts tonight. Well it's not the kind thing I lose any sleep over Maybe it's just the promise of the new season of some of my favorite shows like Young Sheldon, Big Bang Theory. Maybe it's because I'm an old guy now that the new season does not charge me up like it used to. Maybe I'm just underwhelmed because of so many different forms of media nothing especial weight used to be. In the old days when the three giant networks ran the complete television platform the new season was a big deal. It was so cool background to try new things every year. Not only did it have new series they spotlighted but also “movie of the week”. Networks actually showed relatively new movies on the TV. It seems like the day/evening changed from year to year as the networks try to capture larger viewing populations.

I think I came around just at the right time to take advantage of such what seemed cosmic events. The new Star Trek's series was always astounding along with Man From Uncle and even Get Smart and a host of other programming those bright, shiny and new. Of course, my schoolwork, kind of went down the tubes at this point. I was one of the first academic casualties to electronic media. The networks truly competed with each other for market share trying out all kinds of things to trap the consumer interviewing their offerings. I remember some of networks actually offering to our special that showed snippets of all the new offerings for the season. Nothing like that now. Now it's program streaming and even on demand. In some parts of the media universe you can get the whole season at once been used to the whole thing if you want to. What a great time to be alive in here television junkie.

I'm certainly not going to waste my whole night on the two but I am going to watch the two Sheldon's offerings. I'm going to miss Big Bang theory. However, the need to reformat the premise of the show since most of the actors were young academics at the time are now middle-aged professionals trying to act like young academics does not really make much sense so it's good the closing this season. However like I said I would be interested in seeing how each one of these little characters spin off into their own little universes and lives. Maybe somebody will pick up on this and that's the new direction.

I think I'll grab my salad which I made earlier this week. Nothing do anything as energetic as making popcorn are doing anything special to celebrate the beginning of the new television season except for sit back in my power chair and bask in the soothing gentle radiation of my flats creen television and welcome the new season with open arms.

Changing Seasons

Finally, clouds and sky! It's not that I have not enjoyed the run of rainless days we've had here along the Wasatch front. The weather person last night was going on and on about how it's been over a hundred or so days since last we enjoyed any precipitation! I don't know how true that is because I know last week I felt a couple of sprinkles but sprinkles did not come from an overcast sky but a few rogue clouds passing by (Boy seems it could there could be a poem in there somewhere). But I have to point we've had very little moisture which is been part of the reason for the huge fires we've been experiencing and continue to experience. However a small cold front is passing through with clouds, more clout than usual actually causing gray skies which apparently offers a promise (perhaps “promise” is too strong a word let's just say a strong hope for changing weather.

It seems wherever I've gone I've always been a good amount of time reading outside in the sun when possible. Usually, at this point in the year people walk past and mumble something like , “enjoying the sun?” And I invariably reply “yup, not being more days like this.” I don't know what to say anymore because deep down kind of frightened that hot summer like afternoons might be the new normal. I can live with this and I will if this is the case but I'm enjoying today's overcast-ness. In fact I wish the clouds were a bit more dense and the temperature lower than today's 85°. Tomorrow should be a bit cooler but following Monday temperatures go back up and again the fall will feel like summer. I want to be forced to stay inside, have enough items in my pantry so I don't have to go out to the market or anywhere else, cook make something delightfully heavy and savory. I collected a number of packets of beef stew, the silver packed envelopes are full of stew. I've got three or four of the packets but if not yet open one up to see what it looks like inside. Doesn't feel too lumpy like if the packet of stew has potatoes, carrots, peas and onions they can't be too big. The first really cold day/cool I'm going to open one up and just see. I think it probably has some basic vegetables but it wouldn't hurt to add some fresh potatoes, carrots and whatever else might make a great beef stew. I'm hoping these envelopes of stew will be similar to the Dint Moore's stew. If so I'll be totally excited. These envelopes of food end up quite regularly on the “Sharing shelf”. I also have collected packets of Chili, chicken cubes in their own juices and beef cubes. If these packets of food are just how good is what they look like I will be in culinary heaven.

I guess I'm a little anxious after all were just maybe today's into the new season believes him a little tree across the way of not even begin to turn and the tomatoes in the community garden are still coming on strong. Maybe I just want an excuse to curl up and watch old movies, eating popcorn and make savory stews and tomato soups of the season…

inclusion

I must say I was more than a little pleased when I got an email from Claire, my former employer when I worked for the state advising me that yet another former employer at the state was in town with her and were having lunch at one of the old restaurants be used to frequent and would like me to attend.Allison was the executive director for Gov.'s Council for people with disabilities now, two directors back. I believe somewhere in the blog I've written about Allison, not a lot but I have acknowledged her existence. She was a good boss and after Allison there was Claire. Claire was a great but it's which I know I've written about and someone I owe a great deal to for figuring out a way for me to continue my work at the State till I can reach is full of retirement.

There were other players at the lunch as well Lucy which is Claire's wife and then Deborah, Deborah was on the board of the Council and I guess she still is and a good friend of everybody else at the luncheon. We had lunch the Rio Grande restaurant downtown Salt Lake. The restaurant is in the old Rio Grande train station ergo the name. The area used to be somewhat commercial especially the train station was active but the area has fallen into disarray but is trying to be “bootstrapped” to a new life. However area is infested with transients and homeless folk. The needle exchange and many support service programs for these folks is in this area. I can actually say the places actually gotten worse since I left the office. Area used to be kind of rough but now it's very rough. I never used to worry about riding my chair in this area and this time I did .

I forget how much I enjoy the Rio Grande restaurant. It's a little upscale for my tastes but always have enjoyed the facility. We ate outside, a mistake, we're deluged with flies. However the company was great. Claire and I visited a lot I felt a little bad because I did not get a chance to spend time with Dr. Lozano Lucy. But soon it was time to and the lunch. Hopefully, we'll get back together shortly before the doctor leaves town later this month. I didn't necessarily want to take any food home because it's so awkward. I'd only about half of my lunch and I felt guilty for leaving it there on my plate. I elected to take my leftovers home even though it was awkward. On top of that Deborah forgot her take-home bag and that was foisted on me too . They put both lunches a plastic bag and off I went.

On Redwood Road I was waiting for the 217 to finish my trip home. A spooky looking fellow came up and sat next to me under the canopy. I tried not to make contact but that was in vain. He had a story to tell and he wanted me to hear it. This guy was not homeless but he is close. He's an ex-con and had his hardluck story but he wasn't as beautiful as most and I really did not feel that this ex-con was trying to use me. I kind of took pity on the guy then remembered my Rio Grande Café take-home and offered it to the guy. We were already on the bus heading north at that time but the guide gladly accepted my offering. I felt guilty because Claire really wanted meto have Deborah's leftovers. There wasn't much left in my container but enough to make a bite two, Deb's I don't know. Either way the fella got something. I really enjoy being included with my old group. I look forward to the launch will have soon before Dr. Lozano leaves. If I'm really lucky I'll have enough left over for another traveler on the bus.

I Am Not Immune

It is the weirdest thing I have to admit. After yesterday's revelation about what the members of the chapter bookclub whose staff died recently. I did not think this really bothered me too much as we plowed into the next few chapters of the volume. I figured we are okay and I figured I was okay but I think I was wrong.

After I returned home I had a regular Thursday night and try to get to bed a little early so I can do some reading and take some weight off my behind which I've been trying to do all week. I read for a while then figured I was ready for sleep the sleep is not ready for me. I think somewhere in my subconscious I was trying to process the death of Kellie. I'm not sure how she spelled her name. I tossed and I turned searching desperately for sleep but could not find the unconscious anywhere. I watched the clock go from 10 o'clock, to 11 to 12 and later. I was surprised at how cool the weather got. I had my window opened a crack all summer long and it was just a small crack but I found the temperature cold even under my great white Pdiddy jacket. I was even frightened that I wasn't going to make it through the night myself that my staff would find the this morning at 7 AM dead in my bed.

2 o'clock went to 3 o'clock and and for a short moment or two I began to get drowsy hoping desperately to fall asleep. However, the drowsiness left. At this moment I decided to get back into my book and read some more which I did for about a half hour. Finally around 4 o'clock I began to drowsy out again this time I actually slept for about an hour. On the days my staff comes I try to get up by 6 AM so that I'm ready. I also like to have coffee made it be in my chair so we can get the business done and I can get on with my day to let my person go to hers. I was totally enveloped in that fog of lack of sleep but I did get up. I was kind of excited for the state because I would be having lunch with two of my previous bosses and I was excited. By staff actually gave me some great information about processing the death of someone by a doing a ritual of saying goodbye. This sounds a little New Age but what is there to lose? That point in the day/night anything is open discussion between letting the deceased go even if I didn't realize I needed to do so.

I'm tired and I'm really hoping tonight I'm going to find some sleep. Think I will come not to worried one where the other. I don't think I'm going to be as fatalistic as I was last night however I am thinking very seriously about developing a systematic end-of-life document that my kids will be able to use to clear the old man out. So the next couple of weeks going to be contacting the crematorium as well as anything else I need to set up for such an event. The event is coming one where the other… No doubt about it.

Last Chapter Book Club

What a strange day. I was kind of excited because it just seemed every time I turned the corner I was getting insights for possible blog entries. This is incredibly exciting but sometimes you have to tap dance for minutes maybe even hours before you can find a thread to write on for 500 words, at least 500 words. Today for some reason they do seem to be everywhere is writing this morning and later as I was traveling to my First Chapter Book Club. My mind seem to be churning with ideas. Go figure? Perhaps it was/is the upcoming change of seasons and really that's only a page on a calendar. Still something is operating I don't know what it is but I plan to exploit the phenomenon as long as I can.

This Thursday that means coffee club in the morning and First Chapter B C (bookclub) in the afternoon. I've been a little concerned about a possible wound on my buttocks and a little worried about the bus trip out to the library for the bookclub. That's a lot of travel time in my chair and on the bus a lot of rocking which leads to shearing which is not good for the butt a least my butt. So I did something this afternoon that I rarely do I actually laid down and worked on one of my tablets for an hour or so and was surprised at how good the but felt for the trip to the library.

I usually try not to ruminate on things is inconsequential as a ride to the library but I was doing pretty well. I got up from my lay down and I still have about an hour to get to the library. Which is way more than enough time. I went to the Internet and paid my cable Internet fee online which is the second time I've ever done such a event. This could get habit-forming. I knew I was cutting the time. Close but I figured I still had three quarters of an hour. I would have time to get to the library, hit the restroom and still have time to open up the room and get chairs and tables set up. The finally came I was still doing. I began to be concerned but it seems like we're stopping at every bus stop and loading people. Then bus driver pulled the vehicle over and said hold on everybody I got go and he left the bus! He was gone for at least 10 minutes! Unbelievable you must've had a massive number two to do!! My window of time was dwindling. Ah ha I thought here's sucker punch I always talk about . I made it though. I got to the library with five or six minutes to spare I beat the sucker punch.

If there was a corporate office for the First Chapter Book Club of West Jordan Utah at the public library it would be staffed from Utah Development Disabilities Council(UDDC). They finally found someone to replace Debbie who mysteriously vanished four weeks ago. I've been sort of running the show until they found a new program coordinator who was introduced today. So Ricca and Elva were there from corporate. This is good that takes the pressure off me which is okay

The numbers were light today. Renée did not show, neither did blind Jonathan or Kelly. Kelly is Jason's staff. That means she goes with Jason almost everywhere and is always been with Jason at bookclub. Jason was there today but no Kelly which was odd but no one really said anything. Kelly was a bit older but were younger than me and she tended to like to take control. I have to let her leave the bookclub because she did such a good job. Anyway, we began to settle in. Elva passed out the books and I then asked Jason is Kelly coming? He looked at me as he does through his developmentally disabled eyes and said “no”. I shrugged and said “that's too bad you will have to catch her up” then Jason says “that will be hard kind of hard” and then I figured myself oh oh the girl has been viewed got himself fired. That did not surprise me either, Kelly had a way of overstepping her authority. Then came the sucker punch… Jason says “Kelly is never coming again, Kelly died” holy catfish! Bookclub just turned into an afterschool special. I pulled out all my shrink techniques to get ready to be super Shrink not only for Jason but for the rest of the crew but nothing happened. Jason his own way as happy as a clam. “Kelly's happy now she's dancing and she's happy” this obviously meant Kelly was happy Jason was happy and therefore bookclub was happy. We moved on and started reading chapter 38. Kelly would have approved.

The New Normal

I watched in silence this morning as Helen is loaded in the flat blackVan for her trip to the care center. I find it kind of paradoxical Helen's vehicle is black and the person last week I wrote about, the resident was dead was being collected by an all-white. Seems a little reversed to what it should be. Helen has been struggling for the past year. Helen would be in her apartment slip and fall and break something then be in the hospital and rehab for six weeks then come back to the apartments. She just come back last week actually and the crew was glad to see Helen and wish her the best for her reintegration. However, that reintegration did not happen. She fell again this morning early and a couple of good Samaritan apartment neighbors helped her get up off the floor back into her bed but Helen had had enough. She had made the decision to enter into long-term care. Helen said she just not do it anymore, she needed help much more help than she had available at the apartments trying to live independently.

I sat next my friend, Patricia or Pat (as she prefers to be called). Pat is older than I am, a retired educator and fairly self-assured. In fact she is on the same Board of Directors that I am regarding the apartment complex we live in. I have always considered Pat a know it all and I've come to learn that she is and does know it all. I like Pat. As we watched the van driver Stow and secure Helen in the van had confided in me that she was getting worried about herself and about how much longer she could live independently. I think the girl's has got quite a ways to gobefore Helen needs to seriously consider long-term care. The conversation was interesting. We talked about how insidious our independence wanders away from us. How slowly the process is for decades realizing only now and then that the ability to care for ourselves independently is slipping away. However, there comes a time when we start seeing that ability begins to slip away much quicker and how you almost have to accept each little or big loss as the new normal. But was also interesting, to me anyway, was how once we accept this process has started a quick will act on to the new normal knowing that the new normal is leading and perhaps the fleeting process itself is the new normal.

Each night when I roll in the bed (literally, I literally roll into my bed). Remember last year when I seem to keep falling out of my bed especially on the transfer? I firemen, my home health person, and even my brother come over and rescue me. However this year I don't know what has happened but I'm making the transfer so much better and I feel more secure. But every night as I hit the mattress and pull myself on the bed I wonder how many more transfers I have. Hopefully I have hundreds maybe thousands if I'm really really really lucky but there's a number out there of transfers that I can do and at some point will have to make a decision as to what my new normal will be. And transfers, especially gravity assist transfers are easy. It's all the other things it takes to live independently that has me worried. Everything from dressing to go be my pants and especially taking care of holes in my butt when those pressure sores happen. My body is changing and that is the new normal. I told Pat about how my spinal column is torquing and twisting causing me to put pressure on my butt in different areas. I told Pat that I recognized this is how it happens, this is how you get old and… Die. Sadly, Pat smiled and agreed.

Back To Bed and Other Things

I'm getting all kinds of chatter on my cell phone that I really paid much attention to. DRAC, a direct action organization has been burning up the airwaves it seems. Couple weeks ago we got a few new members who really began posting messages to the whole group. Each time a messages posted the messenger bell rings. Day or night someone posts a message the alarm rings. Finally I got so exasperated because messages are being posted late into the night that I turned the notifier off. Just as well. It seems like it happened action and one of the key people got arrested and now is having to report to her point of incarceration and you seem to be pretty upset about the fact no one is showing up support her. I don't know what she was thinking. Our little mismatch group of want to be protesters is now having to enter the real world.

I did not sign up to go to jail. I would if there's something I believe in strong enough and we certainly have not reached that level with this group at least for me. I will soon support them in their actions, I will go to their meetings once a month and I leave their submarine sandwiches and potato chips and I will give feedback if I'm asked but that's about as far as I will go. I showed up on one of two actions and enjoy getting back into the protest mode but that's as far as I'm willing to go at this point time.

I'm having to take my life easy this week. I feel I have some skin issues going on with my but so are really having to spend a lot of time in a press release mode whether it's leaning my chair back were actually laying on the bed trying to figure out some way to occupy my time. I tried to relieve the pressure off my butt so I can sit up for 50 minutes while I crank my arm bike. I will put some more lotion and stuff on my butt tonight and hopefully tomorrow when Dana, home health person, is here perhaps we can put some new skin on what I think might be a wound. Hopefully, by this attention to the pressure I will be more able to function next week when I have to do more traveling. At this juncture in my week I have only the bookclub on Thursday afternoon that I have to do any significant traveling that will put pressure on my hip. I know it sounds like a wuss but I'm finding that this advanced age, that I am it's better to be hypervigilant and a member of a strike line on issues I find questionable.

I was kind of surprised this morning. I thought barbers as a rule to have Mondays since they often work on Saturdays a big haircut day. I purposely did not cross the street, where I found a little Hispanic lady who was a barber and has a small shop, because I thought sure she would been closed yesterday but I saw a small paper plastic the window of her humble little shop saying she would be back on Wednesday. She obviously closes every Tuesday. What's with that? I need a haircut though she charges $7.99 – really $10 when you throw in the tip. Still haircut is cheaper than any of the place I can get around here. So maybe, if I do anything productive tomorrow it will be to get a haircut out-of-the-way..

Apartment Surgeries

Steve hands attending tending to my wounded to. Steve's hands were steady like a rock.

Once again I am plagued by a little toe slowly driving me crazy… I know short drive but still it's the truth.I noticed the pain starting on Saturday but didn't really pay much attention to the pain after all it was the weekend and I figured if I go a couple days without wearing shoes the little toe will heal on its own. Earlier this summer I ended ripping off nearly the entire toenail on that little toe. I was so concerned with the toenail hanging off the way that it was that I did an emergency run to my podiatrists took me in and trimmed up the trauma site. I kind of figured I wouldn't have to worry about that told anymore. I was hoping he took out the whole nail but apparently not.

One of the many things I am proud of living on my own and before is how I've been able to adapt to various challenges of my disability life. One of those hacks to independence that I've been able to work out as been a leg lifting system out of my sticks. I am able to insert one of the sticks under my foot and with the aid of one of the lifting straps my former wife, Dianne had got me I'm able to lift the flap with the help of the stick up high enough to cross my leg which allows me to not only to smear lotion on my feet and legs but also put on my shoes or my pants or whatever. The trouble is my little toe is on the far side of my foot and I cannot see what is happening there. All I know is that when I try to put my shoes on this weekend I felt pain in my will to and my legs did a dance of their own. Something definitely was wrong.

This morning my foot seemed better in my attendant was here bathing me. I should've had her look at my to when she tried to put into the shoe in my foot had other ideas. Time is short so I did not have a chance to have Dana look at night toe. So, I spent the day with my left shoe on in my right shoe totally off again hoping that my toe with you. By this afternoon, I can tell this is not going to happen and I better do something relatively quick. I thought about contacting my podiatrists but even the best case scenario previously come on down it would take me quite a while to catch one bus and then another to get to his office. Then I remembered in the apartments directly above mine resides one of the few other male occupants of this housing complex, Steve. As near as I can tell Steve is kind of a retired trauma nurse. I figured what the heck and took the elevator upstairs. Steve was there I do that he would be Steve hardly ever ventures out which kind of worries me. To my relief however, Steve was all in for this medical adventure. He didn't have Band-Aids I did so I went back to my apartment and got my stash of Marvel adventure hero Band-Aids. When I got back Steve and transformed his kitchen into an OR. I was impressed. The tip of it seriously. He sanitized the operating area even administered painkiller ointments did some trimming and then customized cuts to the Band-Aids so they would fit perfectly to the wound site. I was impressed his hands were steady no senior jiggling. This guy really knew what he was doing. I thanked him for attending to my foot in turn be more than thanked me for presenting to him a foot in need of medical intervention. I asked him if there's anything I can do for him. I can take his garbage out to the dumpster (Steve really does have some problems ambulating which worries me and I'd be happy to take his garbage out anytime) but he said no. Because indicated that conversation was payment enough. I've learned that Steve is very peculiar about what he ingests even goes to the high-end food markets for shopping. I know anything I would get him if I were trying to shop him but he graciously accepted and probably sent to the food bank is not the dumpster. So I don't try to buy them things. So the best I can do is be a friend and occasionally uses medical background give me by.

Best Viewed Prone

I spent the day trying to stay off my butt. My butt has become sensitive meaning I've been sitting on it too much lately. Last night when I went to bed I checked by skin out on the butt and the skin was certainly rough but I didn't feel any skin breaks or open lesions. I put on the skin cream which I use which typically this cream does a great job and went to bed.

This morning I got up and the area was still very sensitive but did not seem as critical as last night. It's Sunday so I have no commitments so, my goal was to stay off my butt as much as possible. If I were really true to this commitment that would be in bed, truly off of my butt. I, for some reason, cannot do that they don't have a good excuse either. Staying up my rear end, going down to bed, is like giving up and something will let me go prone. So I spent the day doing as many press releases as I can stand. Seriously, I just stay in bed and get a good heal going for the area in question. Oddly enough however my butt feels fairly decent tonight. I'm still doing the releases but obviously the attention has been somewhat helpful. I will be really interested to see what and how tomorrow's shower will make my butt field. I'm anticipating a light week so hopefully I will spend more time doing butt pressure maintenance.

The best thing about doing butt pressure maintenance is I need to figure out something to keep me busy while being as prone as I can get. I have found watching video of any kind is a favorite diversion to be able to set up right and do my regular life. You will remember yesterday I did Star Wars. Today I decided to do Meg Ryan! I did Sleepless in Seattle this afternoon I watched You've Got Mail. You've got mail is one of my all-time favorite Meg Ryan movies. Readers of the blog know that I associate this movie with holiday seasons. I know what you the film today was getting an early run on the season but was is always a great experience.

Tonight as I go to bed I'm going to apply a different cream to my buttocks. It's essentially the same cream as I've been using with the addition of silver. I've used the screen before and it does incredible work. I hope the incredible work is just not the placebo effect but I truly believe and sometimes believe in the product is what what a miracle cure takes. And if not, I will have my home health person, Dana, tomorrow check the skin and apply some plastic tape I've used in the past that is also miraculously effective. Like I said in the beginning this is a light week. I really don't have to do anything until Thursday. Between movies in my collection and free movies on Amazon prime and I could even go whole hog and order some from the Internet (like streaming). Tomorrow I'm all set to start out with City of Angels,another Meg Ryan.

A New Hope

Blog 091518 – – Saturday

I finally managed to pull myself away from a TNT presentation of Star Wars: A New Hope. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen this production yet I never grow tired of the whole thing. I basically love anything that science-fiction but Star Wars saga is something special. Perhaps, because it came at a time in my life when everything was kind of special. I was into my first marriage about three years. Mark Anthony had been born that previous June and everything seemed to be positive.

Star Wars was huge that year. It seemed that anyone who loved science fiction at something to talk about and to hold onto. Not that I was hiding in the closet but sci-fi people were still a bit of a minority. Up until that point most radical thing had done as a science fiction enthusiast was taken class from scary Sherry Maguire called sci-fi as literature. This class is one the best classes I've ever taken at the college level. I think we even took Mark with this to the theater to see Star Wars. Luckily, we were not alone. However, I still must commend Mark Anthony for being a perfect infant choosing to sleep through most of the first Star Wars movie and then enjoying the rest of the movie when he finally did wake. Those are great times.

I of course have the four DVD set of the first Star Wars movies. It would probably make more sense to watch the movies off the DVDs but it's just more fun to see the movie sandwiched in between the commercials. Again, reminded me of those holiday presentations following the movie's release when as a special offering from the networks Star Wars would be broadcast on Thanksgiving evening as well as sometime during the Christmas season. “A New Hope”, I thought was so cool to broadcast/present a movie in the middle of its series. Took me forever to figure this out. But I finally did and was astounded as the new movies were released and a culture was created.

It's not that I've grown out of Star Wars perhaps maybe Star Wars franchise which is a huge universe in and of itself. I saw the last couple of installments is just ways to increase the filthy lucre of those “creating” new installments. Rather than promote the story I see whoever is in charge just trying to sell more action figures, T-shirts and movie seats. Kind of breaks my heart. However, those lucre chasers cannot take away the first three or so installments of the Star Wars saga when everything was new and fresh and full of wonder. Good guys and the villain so evil to develop planetoid which could eradicate whole planets with its deadly death Ray. A trilogy based on nothing but good and evil where you are never sure that good was going to win. Of course, deep down, you knew that what you are watching was nothing but a formula for entertainment since the beginning of movies. I'm sure the movie is still playing and once I have this poster I will tune in for the rest of A New Hope. And I see the next installment begins right after it. I doubt I'll watch the whole movie just enough to get a feel of how great the force is hoping it is with me.

Bookmarks, Sniffles and Other Things

I should be embarrassed to state that I did not do anything to speak up today except perhaps read. This is been a busy week for me with meetings of one sort or another almost every day except for today. I use this time to unwind hang out in my little apartment. I thought about doing the wash and getting it out of the way but I figured what the heck, the one has to wait until tomorrow or even Sunday but I don't like working on Sunday if I don't have to. So tomorrow I will wash clothes for next week.

I did finish the piece of pulp fiction I've been working on all week. It was an okay read, one of the volumes my little sister sent me. I've read two volumes by this author. He is entertaining and I guess with fiction that all one can really hope for. He is a writing machine like so many authors are today. Writing for the majority of the population but still reads. Fat books with short chapters. You get the feeling that you've actually read something. I spoke is like drinking fluids with sweeteners that satisfies your thirst and you feel you drank something pleasing. I started, almost immediately by James Patterson who I feel is the quintessential little big book writer. He is entertaining.

I also spent time making some bookmarks. I don't know why find this so entertaining but I continue to make by donkeys and I'm sort of stuck on making on making bookmarks. Maybe someone like the books I'm reading. I can produce five or six or seven bookmarks the time I would do one regular picture. I like coloring the bookmarks as well. Today I reverted back to the “red burro” motif which I find so rewarding. Sometimes I feel like red and that's all there is to it. But I did I got some burros done. Just like the books I'm reading makes you feel like I've read something when I get done with my bookmarks I have the feeling that I've done some art.

I've decided that as I have become older that I've developed more significant allergies. All week long I have felt that I've had a cold. I've had a stuffed head, sniffles and have had bouts of sneezing– – all symptoms of having a cold but I don't feel like I'm sick if that makes any sense. So I think it's allergies for the first time in my life. Especially the watery eyes. I keep forgetting that there are also great fires all around the area maybe that's what I'm suffering as well pollution from the forest and range fires all around this region. Whatever the etiology I haven't felt much like getting out and traveling if I don't have to. Maybe, I'll try to go to bed early tonight and get some rest of the weekend and some time in the sun burning the impurities out my system.