Me or for Him?

Earlier this week at wellness, I met Andrew. Actually, it seemed Andrew a number of times at the rehab facility a couple times and even spoken briefly with him but nothing of any substance just saying “hi or goodbye” as I went to the elevator. I noticed the feeling the first time I encountered Andrew it was a drawing towards him. And as a young man just out of high school getting ready to transition to University. For those guys had everything going for him, talent, brains, good luck and a will to do anything you wanted to and somewhere along the way he got his neck broken. Now a lot of this I'm going to surmise because I hardly know the guy except to look at him but I think that's going to change to some degree.

I broke my neck just about 49 years ago exactly, next month will be 49 years. At that point in time there were not a whole lot full of their with quadriplegia at least from spinal cord injury. Those that were out there survived pretty much by luck, dumb luck. Like me for example I was hit by a car just outside of fire station in the middle of July. All the fire guys were outside in the shade just sitting there during the summer day. I was an intersection I just stopped at a stop sign and went to cross the street but has hit by a car. Flag I saw the whole thing they ran over and held my neck in place in my head together until the ambulance came and took me St. Luke's Hospital. Jump ahead four months and I was transition to rehabilitation. There like three or four other guys under 30 at the rehab when I entered and only one was another teenager: Steve Andrews. We had nothing, and basically avoided each other while we were in rehab. Once I got out of rehab I was an odd duck. Admit one other person close to my own age in rehab and we sort of hung out off and on over the next couple years. I hardly ever saw anybody else wheelchair unless it wasn't rehab very few of those people my own age. I had no one to talk to good been through the whole spinal cord injury thing just because there weren't that many that survived. I don't know how much difference it would make have somebody who knew the ropes. I think any input would have been helpful. Oh of course the docs and social workers had a little bit to say but who would believe them I don't think I did what they did say scared is not out of me. Over the years I've had contact with many spinal cord injured folk and I was the peer counselor. I was the person who'd been around the block may cases this is my job I was paid to be the point man let these folks know exactly how is going to be. I think I helped more than I hindered it is been good all along. I've always been somewhat self-absorbed thinking that I was there for them, I was the expert I was a know it all.

When Andrew came in the other day there was a woman with him that eventually found out was his mother, Andrew enough to this therapy and I spoke with mom. I found out that Andrew was from Washington state and that he was planning on entering the dominant religious-based University in this state, Brigham Young University. She was amazed that I had kicked around as long as I had with my spinal cord injury. She was intrigued that my level of injury was close to that of Andrew's. We talked about his situation and her concerns. They were living with her in-laws and Murray Utah not far from me. Her big concern was letting Andrew transition to University this coming fall. She knew would be the best thing for him particularly concern his independence. Kind of throwing them into the deep end and see if he sinks or swims. She seemed like she is ready to do this and this is good. Andrew can get on with his life as a person with a disability and she can get on with her life as a mom of a kid with a disability. As we had our conversation I was thrown back in time and just wondered how hard it been for my parents to let me go and continue to be a person living my life, doing what I had to do to grow and mature as a person with a disability.

I was called to begin my therapy session making a note to send Andrew an email and emphasize the points with spoken of regarding options he could consider while in Provo at the University. I wondered again as I left the mom it was good that she ran into me or I wonderedmaybe it was good for me to friend her .okayand Andrew. I have been thinking of this a lot in the last couple days jus wandered how many of these experiences have been directed at me