Happy FY New Year's Eve

It's the end of the year, it said like New Year's Eve, New Year's Eve in the middle of summer. Tomorrow begins the new fiscal year everything money changes at 12 o'clock here tonight. Tomorrow I look at becoming deeper and deeper in debt as my insurance puts over to another year. It is been kind of nice sense all the medical trauma of last year has made us meet our insurance levels so everything last month has been covered by insurance 100%. Now starting at midnight we had to start working down the deductible again that really frightens me. July frightens me because of a meeting with my neurosurgeon to see what our next steps are going to be regarding me and my life, my spasticity and thus stenosis in my neck. I would like to think we would do nothing let the stenosis ride but in reality we have to do something our risk much greater neurological injury from the stenosis. I'm terrified of the surgery and what the negative results of the surgery might be. I'm terrified of the financial results of what the surgery might render I mean it's going to cost us a lot, financial burden which we will never get out from under and that depresses me greatly. However life does go on, I hope.

I really never understood New Year's, New Year's Eve or whatever only in the last couple of years as I've aged and realized that more New Year's have passed that I will have coming my way. The financial new year is a different beast it rolls things over and I guess gets things going again but still it is threatening. I continue to have home care attendants come in the morning and evening costing more than 1000 a month which greatly weirds me out. Sometimes I even look forward to their coming but most the time I think I resent them. I don't think we would be able to make it without them there physical intervention helps a great deal. I would like to think I'm doing great – – and I am to some degree but not the point Of being able to shuffle off the attendant care services these folks render.

It's Tuesday usually the day I go in for physical therapy after I attend my Assist, Inc. meeting. I look forward to the meeting and rehab. These obligations get me up and out the house to do some good the world and for myself. But not today. It is doubly hot today, I doubt that would've actually hurt me to be out this heat but still probably good idea stay in out of the direct sun. Tomorrow I will have rehab in the afternoon in the noonday sun and heat but I'm ready for it about water ice up I'll be okay New Year's Day, FY 2016. But I am scared.