Beware

I continue to transition into my new apartment. I don't know why I am at such un-ease. The unease is not necessarily intending to which I felt in other situations but I do have feeling of things not being done right or that I am not doing things correctly or will be not doing things correctly when the time comes. First and foremost being the reordering of medications as well as communicating/dealing with Medicare and Medicaid, PEHP and other bureaucracies which have control over my life.

The facility I live in, Plymouth View, I am beginnng to realize, I may have got more than I bargained for. I was stopped by this individual who lives here to find out that , in fact she works here. I think she's a social worker. She stopped and asked me what I can meet with her – – this of course sent up all kinds of red flares And memories of Other such requests from people over my life i.e. teachers, professors, employers.When I asked her why he said to work on my Service Plan.. I dodged setting up a specific Time and rolled away thinking wow. I found out that she's the Service Coordinator. This information kind of spooked me but then I figured why not? A lot of these folks do need somebody like this to help them with their issues and then I thought hey! I could use somebody help me with MY issues.Then, I felt a bit of humiliation why my needing this kind of assistance… Why do THEY think I need this kind of assistance. What kind of place do I live in if I have to be part of such goings-on? I've been pondering this ever since she made a request. I found her office is way up on the third floor of the building I live . I have gone up there couple of times trying to meet with her to find out more about this Service Plan. And trying not to think that I live in some kind of senior institution… But maybe I do. Is that bad? I look around at my peers able-bodied and those disabled living independently in going on in their lives like real people. I'm trying to hammer my living situation into something that I can wrap around my brain and except. I needed to find a place to live immediately and displays popped up… Actually I looked for a place that had accessibility. I knew this organization had such facilities and may have had the unit open and he did. The unit was opportunity and I grabbed the place immediately. I'm a quadriplegic, from 65 years old, I'm having to live on my own and I found a place that I can do that. I'm using programs and services which I've always thought were for other people that I would never have to be like or use myself aand yet here I am. I should be happy, I should feel really… And I do. I am happy and I'm thankful And yet something feels just a little off. I feel a little like Jack Nicholson in Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.

I just have to keep an eye out for Nurse Cratchet.