Tuesday Confessional

 

It's another confession day.I really do like going into assist, Inc. for my meetings. Not only attendance at these meetings give me something to do but also builds myself illusion of importance and what I do in the community. However, local weather people are talking about a great storm slows to come in today dumping more snow on the Salt Lake Valley. This information combined with the knowledge that most the sidewalks around my place have not been cleared yet of snow. And to get downtown on have to get to the train. I'm sure downtown be a breeze but out in the neighborhoods is another question so between that information and the fact that more snow white befalling I elected not to go into the office. So right at 8 AM I called to let them know I would not be coming and they were pretty much okay with that. That left the day to work on my letters and envelopes.

Of course the first problem I run into was the printer had lost its connection with my CPU. I don't know why that happens power surges, who knows maybe from watching to many X files. I also think it has something to do with the fact that I basically use the printer one-time month and that is to drop the letters and envelopes. And I can remember one trauma to the next how to correct this issue. Go through the stuff on the computer and how to correct the problem which of course is of no use it asked my frustration and eventually contact Mark Anthony who advises me to unplug the printer let stand for 20 seconds and then plug the cord back into the computer At which time the computer Dutifully connects with the printer and I'm ready to go. I cannot believe how much effort and focus it takes to print 6 letters, and envelopes. I worked on this project on off all day while in the meantime washing the week's clothes. In fact I still have to fold and hang clothes before I go to bed if not then the first thing in the morning. I wanted to have the project done by this evening but clearly that is not going to happen.

I'm surviving okay without having to go back to the market which I really need to do (in my own mind). I mean I have everything that I need to just want more. I have hardly any fresh fruit, I needed a stalk of celery for 2 days now to make my morning drink I've been getting by with the last of the stalk of celery I used to put in the major pitcher keep the peppers of the juice in. I've got one count of pickled peppers left but I do have a bag of carrots which I could use to increase the crunch factor. So I really don't need to go to the market it's all in my head I get by just fine until I used by last bottle of juice which is still in the pantry. I just love the freedom go to the market visit my friends have my morning drink ready to go…

Macon Bacon

I don't remember if I ever shared with you all the confusion I had growing up in my LDS home. We practiced the bizarre twist on part of that religion that was the consumption of pork products. I'm not sure where my dad his information but growing up we were never allowed to have pork products and will will I guess the exception of spam. I guess spam source the radar with my dad. And is able to check my desires when mom would thrive spam on Saturday mornings I would pretend it was bacon. If this idea and concept was correct across the board that would be one thing but imagine my confusion on any given church sponsored function whether it was the Christmas dinner, any number of Ward budget dinners, father and son outings communal breakfasts where they would have piles of bacon and ham if this were the case for all the war in church functions we attended Why could we not have pork at home especially bacon. I never got an answer directly from my father regarding our dietary habits but I suspect it was something to do by.converting to something in the church doctrine related to the Old Testament. My dad mellowed out as he got older. I think my mother also put pressure on my dad to eat the dirty meat.

These thoughts were heavy on my mind as I decided to cook a block of bacon I've had the freezer for a couple of months. It was in the “throwaway section” for $1. It was a couple pounds of that thick cut bacon I sensed a real deal and I still think it was a real deal. In my effort to be more timely in the food that I purchase and consume I am trying to get all the old stuff out of my freezer so I can put new stuff in the Freezer that does not have freezer burn and way out of date. I was a little concerned with the Bacon thawed out. The plastic covering around the meat was loose meeting the vacuum seal had been broken somewhere that's okay I plan to cook the holding up one shot anyway. I was relieved when the bacon began to sizzle that it was not accompanied with that sickly sweet smell of mmeat that's gone around the corner. It took a while to cook the meat I purposely cook and eat a low temperature it took 3 frying pans laden with strips of bacon to get the process complete when it came out okay. My house smells like my best friends did it every Saturday morning when we stopped over. Of course they were Roman CatholicAnd as far as I was concerned could do just anything and everything and not have to worry about and it's anything else for doing so. I mean I'm just writing about products tonight I have even gotten into the whole concept of fish we could eat at the house they had to have tails, gills not be scavengers of the deep. I'm sure lived on the coast in a Mormon ward we would've had shrimp fries, lobster Fest in all matters of opportunities to enjoy flash from the…

Me And My AI

 

You know what I really hate? I hate paying money for software that doesn't really work. I guess I should temper my feelings by saying I probably have to software for 15 years and I guess it deserves to wear out if in fact software does not out. It's a voice to text software that Dianne got me for Christmas years and years ago. I've used it, spent probably one of the best gifts I've ever gotten something lately just seems askew. Whenever I've tried to use this software the past 3 or 4 days Software acts like they can't hear me distinctly. Of course when you're dictating you don't have to stop over and over and over to make corrections. I sure don't not be updated version couple years ago with the stimulus package money everybody got but I didn't. Possibly I could probably get an updated version relatively cheap if I went back to the company. But I don't know software or my headset. Like I said the software acts like it doesn't hear me. Invariably what I do now when this happens I will actually What do a reboot of the whole computer thinking this will somehow chart into acting normal. Sometimes it served us so I don't know. But I really kind of the present somehow this boxes turned itself into an AI and things begin to mess with me out of sheer boredom at having to write this blog for me every night. There's a great short story somewhere sort of been done though however but still that's how I feel. Like I said in some imperative that I have the software and computer all working at this time of the month when Iwrite my letters. I've started my letters for March today is a matter of fact and it has really been slow going. My software has some kind of glitch that if I stopped dictating for a few seconds when I start again in search accountable letter like I'm starting A new (see!) sentence. Actually, right now the software is usually working the best it has all day.just because it's listening to me now. Like I said I should just invest in new package.

Yesterday, as is trying to be proactive in my cooking so I don't have to cook today I don't couple pieces of meat out of the freezer in an effort to 1Start utilizing stuff I have in the freezer as well as in the pantry. To start working through all my food storage crap. I brought over half the food in our the storage system. I have tons of fruit cans well a lot of canned fruit some starting to eat that regular basis I want to really get a lot of that food eaten one where the other. But anyway the 2 pieces of meat I pulled out one of those stakes you got all the marks on what went through a tenderizer and 2 pieces of pork chop. Both quite freezer burned I cannot bring myself to toss them so I can. I was totally surprised at how well will came out. I should've dumped both pieces of meat In the some kind of liquid like gravy or soup and then have to stop over rice or potatoes or even posted bread shop. With my meat slicer processable pieces that have been eating on them periodically through the day turned out great. Granted a little off but I floss every night anyway it's all challenge it's a challenge.

The high point of my day came early when I'm at the kids of the restaurant for breakfast. Realize, we had a great storm this week none the sidewalks are so I'm having to drive my chair beside the road. It was no problem going to the restaurant because very few people were out but on the way home is a different question. I had Mark follow me as I drove my power chair on the side of the roadI got home okay no problem but evidence in front of the theater all day…

Read, Read and Read Again

 

Before Billie died we started the practice of going out to coffee on Saturday mornings. The little coffee shop across the street where we go. Over the months a couple of the other residents here at the complex began to join us. Last week was the 1^st Saturday after Billie died and was a strange having coffee together when she nearly died probably the night before. However, I truly believe that's exactly where and what Billie would've want us to have Done and do. We met again this morning at the coffee shop and once again I have strangest feeling that Billie was with us.

This morning outing was the 1^st I done since the storm. There are piles of snow everywhere locally the street have been cleared of snow – – I just have to be careful when using driveways in the street. Sidewalks are still hopelesslyIced in and will be for distant future. Forecasters are predicting a little snow possibly tomorrow and for sure by Tuesday when I'm sure I'll have a meeting downtown. That's still number of days off and I'm sure I'll have no problem making the meeting regardless of the snow. Even though I go far this morning it was being out and mixing with other human beings. The crowd at the coffee shop is pretty much constant just as the crowd at the restaurant Sunday breakfasts. They acknowledge you as a friend. Very little verbal communication with a smile and the nod that you know you been recognized and accepted to be in this space. It's a good feeling like coming home.

Even though the day was somewhat will and indeed snow was and is beginning to melt I have no desire to take the bus anywhere just because I know the snow remain systemwide sidewalk-Wise and I could easily stranded in a snow bank. So I came back home and Cleaned the apartment A little, worked out on my own bike for 30 minutes while listening to NPR and then spent an inordinate amount of time trying to find the place of the book I'm reading after dropping a book last night while reading in bed . I cannot believe I could not find my spot. I spent our going back to trying to read recognized places I've just read the last week or so but strangely nothing sounded familiar.This actually worries me a little bit. I finally just settled on a spot that seemed a little familiar hundred and some pages into the book And just reread until I come to a spot I feel most comfortable with. I'm still perplexed how I could have read so much of this book not remember having read a lot of in pages I looked at. This is silly book is simple mystery novel and I pretty much use the reading as an exercise for me to get ready for sleep so maybe it doesn't matter that I can't remember what I've read or not the point is to relax and I do remain concerned however. They just keep same book by my bedside never have to read another book again just keep rereading the novel on the side of the bed…

Friday Night A little Sketchy

 

A couple of days ago friend one of the folks here at the complex stop by the apartment and was so 3 got what she saw she Stop what she was doing and immediately started washing the dishes. And I appreciate what she did no question that but what was really sort of bizarre was she threw away the sponge scrapers, you know those Cleaning devices that are Sponge on one side and on the back is a rough surface used for scraping off the stuff on the frying pan or whatever Surface may be working. I have these 2 sponges for at least 6 months and I guess just thought they were too disgusting to keep it off they went. So, I've been wanting to get out last week to purchase some more spongesFor the sink. Of course the temperature has been subzero as well as massive snow buildup. It's been a couple of days now since the last great snow and with today's sunshine brilliant moments of sunshine sandwiched between overcast moments it looks like the snow has melted and I might be able to make it across the street to the True Value store and get a couple. When I went out to check to see if sidewalks were clear enough to make an effort I was greeted with pretty cold temperatures which chased me right back to the apartment I still figured if article project on be okay I'll have to roll of the street to get to the store that's all you go to that would be enough to get by scratches. Luckily however I ran into another one of my apartment neighbors was actually any to start and asked if she did the thing and of course I didn't hesitate and went for it. Perhaps, One of the more productive things I've done all day.

Actually cooked something for dinner tonight, not microwaved but actually pull something out of the freezer, let it Thaw on afternoon and fry it up in a pan, one I have just washed with my new cleaning sponge. This was kind of a spur of the moment decision when I came across 2 pieces of meat in the freezer were a couple years at least. I actually got this meet at one of my visits to the foodBack, which kind of makes this meat sketchy to begin with. When the frost from the freezer Finally melted I realized I had to work ribs/steaks and one of those steaks run through tenderizing machine. I wasn't sure about either selection. The pork is like sweet smell but not enough to let be thrown away I ended up cooking all 3 pieces in the half of the tenderizing beef steak for dinner. I should have covered up with mushroom soup or one of my cans of beef gravy and cooked it for a while but I was too anxious to get to dinner Done. I have a taste of the pork which I may end up tossing. The important thing was I got these 2 articles Out of my freezer. Last night for the actually had a can of pears and toast. What a treat! This is my plan to use the items of my food storage and freezer storage getting decent rotation going so the food doesn't taste sketchy…

Cutting Out Coffee

 

You have heard me talk about the Coffee Social before. An attempt by a really don't know who anymore to get the people who live in this facility to interact and visit socially one day a week typically Thursday's. I first you will and moved into this apartment complex The social was posted by someone who I just figured was the on-base social worker, Anne. This person was very nice and definitely a management person and someone who is set to retire. I got the impression the social were part of a function the complex use to be some kind of Requirements from HUD housing since this is a basically HUD project.

Well Anne did retire she is replaced by very young person named Rochelle who won the hearts of everybody in the building. She was energetic, brilliant, multi-language (English/Spanish). She easily fit right in the routine especially taking over Anne's responsibilities Taking special interest in the coffee social. And also a few weeks ago management decided shake things up reassigned Rochelle to another building related her all responsibility of here at the Apartments complex. Her position was filled by another social worker type also bilingual but not the person that Rochelle is not a longshot. I just assumed All Would go on as usual and coffee hour would Also.

I didn't sleep well as I would have liked last night. No special reason I just had to pee Round 4 AM And I never got back to sleep. This is kind of typical on coffee social days. I don't expect a whole lot out of this event but I've got the point where the forward to sitting down and drinking coffee with some of these folks I consider friends. For example Billie I always sat together. The social is fairly will attend the function bilingual to a degree number of subgroups of the large group. I got up this morning shaved made some breakfast all the time getting ready for the event. The social begins at 9:30 AM and lasts about an hour. So I had about 45 minutes to kill so I try to clean up the bathroom a little bit hopes that the facility repair guy might be around To work on my sink in the bathroom. I also took the time to work on one of my word puzzles which are trying to do each day. So around 9:25 AM I had down to the common notice that nothing has been done for Coffee social. The room is dark, the tables were not together and there was no coffee being made. It was quiet and dismal. I can't say that not having Coffee social broke my heart I can certainly use aggression are in my day to do whatever I do. It did feel like a mini vacation. I did stop at the office and asked Jennifer why there was no social today she did not. She seems quite frustrated with a lot of the decisions being made by management lately. I don't know if Thursday morning coffee group is a thing of the past. Maybe we'll just go over to the coffee shop where I can actually get a real Doughnut since this was something that is always been desperately missing at this event. I like to see the coffee social continue but worst-case last best case I can always use another hour my week

Surviving The Storm

Well the snow did come just as predicted. I'm still surprised at the quality of the white stuff. It's going to keep me indoors were at least the next 3 to 4 days. The warm-up they indicated was following behind the store is now replaced with another one after that taking us  to the end of next week!Okay, I've got provisions and something to do. I may have to cancel meetingsI have downtown next week but we'll cross that snow bridge when we get to. Now I just have to deal with the predictable that comes with snow plastered all over my outside window.

What I think is really weird it has been more than 24 hours since the snow started and the private company which removes the snow is not even shown up yet with the files which is very characterist. I was awakened this morning about 5 AM with the sound shovels on pavement which I thought was the beginning of the snow removal process . Usually, I almost feel like I'm going be rattled out of the bed because the plows are driving up and down . Usually they're out there on weekends as well as national holidays but not today for some reason which I think is very sketchy.

The only thing I wish I did have more of his fresh fruit like grapes. Actually , I do have some oranges and bananas and all kinds of canned fruit in fact I even a fresh container is cottagecheese. I really like my folks make supposed to cottage cheese and canned fruit. This was a staple treat for Sunday night as I was growing up now, it is kind of comfort food. I may have to seriously look at getting one of those grocery home delivery programs especially for snow days. Well, I know this is why short of the 500 words I usually try to cobble together but don't have anything else to write about except the snow and that's really getting old… I'm sure

Waiting For Storm

 

It's snowing right now outside my window. I can't see it in the evening hours but the snows coming down. I doubt that we are going to get the amounts the forecasters have predicted but still it's impressive that the snow came just as they said and at the time they said. I've got my provisions and so I am ready for what the store brings it. I didn't have my regular Assist Inc. meeting As I often do on Tuesday mornings. The day following a national holiday and a weekend on top of that there's just no time to pull the paperwork together for our meetings on weekends like this just past.

There were go clouds all day-to-day. Luckily, I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. I worked little bit on the apartment trying to clean up a little bit. The chaos had kind of gotten out of hand over the weekend not like I had any giant parties or anything. My Monday caregiver is quite a bit different than my caregiver which I have for Wednesday and Friday. We just really visit on Monday while I do my business on the toilet on Wednesday and Friday my caregiver actually is involved in cleaning the kitchen area of the apartments and often sweeping up the whole apartment area. All of this makes a difference to me anyway. The dedicated reader knows of my search for a cleaning lady/person but so far none is come around one that I could use anyway. In fact today mode by neighbors names Tim (she's Asian) stopped in my so freaked out about the apartment she actually came in and wash dishes and cleaned the counters in the kitchen. That was really nice I appreciated Her efforts. Might be also included working out on my arm bike of course and now I'm blogging. I need to get my clothes ready for my Wednesday wash which I'm sure I will be doing sense snow is forecast for all day tomorrow. I realize I'll be landlocked but not for long. This would definitely be categorized as a spring storm so even if major quantities of snow accumulate the snow will not last long as soon as the sun comes out it will be gone and again that's okay with me.

I've enjoyed the pizza that I purchased yesterday. Last night before I retired I cut the pizza into wedges and stack them on top of each other. Had I been more ambitious I would like to stock the pizza in a plastic bag and put it in the refrigerator but as it is I'm letting a cure on one of the countertops. I just have to force myself to eat very few pieces of time. I didn't realize this was thick crust pizza which is way too many carbo calories. But it's been nice to have day old pizza snack on. It will be nice to have what's left of the pizza for the storm. I even made sure to take the garbage out before the major storm hit. It was raining turning to snow as I shuttled back and forth from the apartment to the dumpsters. Felt good to get back into the house to a cupboard of fun food, Internet connection and Amazon video…

Monday Night Pizza! :-)

 

There's a storm coming in – – I know you've heard it all before – – starting tomorrow evening going for the next couple of days for forecasting may be up to 6 inches of snow on the valley floor here which means effectively I'm going to be landlocked for a while. Luckily, return the end of February which means it'll soon be March which means the month the spring. So no matter how much snow falls is not the last very long in fact are calling much better weather next week hopefully. So no effort to justify going out and buying treats I'm using the storm as a threat to my self being an enjoyment of my apartment so I went over to market its recreational shopping. Picked up a couple bottles of juice, cans of jalapeno pickled peppers and a frozen pizza.

Pizza is one of my weaknesses in life I think I even like bad pizza more or less. As long as it has tomato sauce with decent crust and cheese okay with the pizza pie. I believe I've talked about how I sort of lived on frozen pizza one point in my life here in Salt Lake. I can't even remember the make of pizza that was but it was good enough to buy A couple of pizzas a week. They were pretty cheap to basically cardboard pizza I called them. They had a resemblance to pizza round with pepperoni's, cheese, sometimes mushrooms, green peppers, onions you know the standard fare. They were good enough to get through the night television reruns. If I remember right this is right after the 2^nd divorce. But as I said more or less any peaches a good pizza if you doctored the pie with enough of your favorite ingredients. It was just like raising the dead.

As I indicated there is a storm coming in the temperature of the day is almost balmy at 40+ degrees. I finally got around to getting out about 3:30 PM my trip across the street. No more avengers like it across my legs to protect it from the cold. The market was great. I spend way too much time there picking up my 2 bottles of juice 2 cans of peppers. I also got some butter, sour cream and even more burritos. I pretended my mind that I'll be buried in the snow for weeks which is just plain silly. The power chair is more or less at the okay except for my seating I've got keep my seatbelt on arm truly can slide right out. I'm totally hunched over the side of my chair driving around looking like an idiot disabled guy. You know the kind of guy that you look at me wonder how did that guy get to be in that condition? I'm that guy. I joked with a lot of pick friends over the weekend about going down to be corner downtown with the cardboard lid or box and writing one of those I need money things in And see if could panhandle anything. I of course would not do something like that my balls and have to be a lot larger to be something like that. They can develop however could be fun. Best part I bought frozen pizza. They come a long way since the days when I was eating pizza off 9^th East and 40s South. The reason I haven't got many senses that I really haven't had a way to carry the pizzas. However, I noticed tonight I can actually stick them in the Brown basket that Dennis D sent me said to me a couple of years ago I love that thing.

I cooked the pie at 400° for 30 minutes. The pie in its frozen state did not look nearly as good as it did on my front of the box. It was a for meat pie I kind of wish I'd gotten the one with more vegetables on it tickly green peppers and onions and black olives but that was not to be on this pepperoni, ham, sausage and hamburger pie. It was large enough to actually fit in the square box my brother put handles on last year, to help me get it in and out of the oven when it's hot. The copper box worked like a champ I'm so thankful for it. Is able to get the hot pizza out of the oven when it was done using one of my sticks with a hook on it. Aside from not having the flavors I described like the green pepper the pizza wasn't bad for frozen product cooked in my oven and chopped up by me on a Monday night…

Flitting Away The Day

 

It's actually a fairly warm day today with the sunshine even warmer. I didn't get much sleep only about 4 hours that seems to be the norm anymore. I think I was concerned that I would sleep through the alarm set so when I woke up at 4 AM I really couldn't get back to sleep. And once again kind of surprised that I functionally really well all dayNo I have not really done except for breakfast the kids. We had a great time visiting with the week's events trying to figure out the world's economic and political problems. I was going to order Hot cereal but at the last moment Ordered an omelette which is probably more that I should. I enjoy the flavor however so I guess I will. Following Breakfast I scooted on home and spend the rest of the day on the Internet. It's so easy to become addicted so I wish I could say I did multiple things this Sunday the truth of the matter is I flitted the day away On the Internet just mess around… away On the Internet just mess around…

Fixed!

 

Out of nothing else better to do I just finished watching Capt. America “Civil War”. I don't know how many times I've watched this particular movie but I don't seem to tire of it not too much anyway Tony Stark gets on my nerves a little bit but not too bad. I finished the movie about a half an hour ago when I sat down to write this post I noticed that the current Black Panther offering was posted on my screen with epitaph “because you watched “Civil War””. I don't know why but this just irritates the hell out of me. Some stupid bot out there suggesting movies for me like it really cares and all business some silly algorithm running haphazard at the end of these movies. I'm sure I've oversimplified the whole thing but it just does is not getting any better is getting worse whole suggestion thing. I get so annoyed at the AI wannabes just want to reach out and slapped them down and say leave me alone but I know that's not going to happen as long as I and the weak vessel that I am and the use the Internet as I do.

It's Saturday night in the most energetic thing I've done all day was attend Saturday morning coffee group across the street at hidden peaks coffee. There's 3 of us now who are regulars there were 4 of course you know that but Billie passed away last week. The 3 of us toasted our late friend and I mentioned a weird feeling that I have every time I lose somebody close to be like Billie. I'm not sure if this particular blog goes back far enough to document my feelings on the passing of my good friend Sheelan who passed about 20 years ago when I was worried that the independent living Center. I think I lost those blog entries because they are on another hard drive. Irritates me. But I noticed when Sheelan died right afterwards for a couple of weeks seemed like I was going to see her everywhere I went. I just got the strangest feeling that I would turn the corner and there she would be. I've had the same feelings now with Billie that when I opened my door to go somewhere I expect to see her in her doorway just across the hall the way we always seem to run into each other on the way out of the building. I guess it's sort of kind a like the feeling that I get you below my mom's been dead for a bunch years every once in a while I get the strongest feeling I need to pick up the phone call her to tell her about something I'm doing or thinking about. The feeling swiftly passes but still I get that need to make contact with her. Would make a great segment for the Twilight Zone.

My brother was over again today repairing my wheelchair. He's great at doing that I'm so lucky to have them in my life. I just hope I don't burn them out calling on him so much. Oddly, the only time we really get to visit them are doing this weird thing right now sharing a lot of our feelings on the way back years when he was just a teenager and I was new to the family. He played basketball as a wrestler in high school he was even quarterback for his high school football team in Kansas where he lived part-time. He is posted images on the Internet which I think are very cool.

Sprung!

I think I've ranted and raved before about this power chair that I have particularly the foot box. The box which came with the chair which I think is way too big but now I've gotten used to it and I can live with the foot box. I still wouldn't mind a trimmer more conservative foot box but the basic but foot box will do for the time being and probably for the length of the chair as I don't see anything big happening different in the near future. Anyway, this morning I was goofing around and not watching what I was doing and cut the right side of the foot box where a piece of metal goes along the side has been bent away. So the metal sticking out like a hangnail you know how you catch everything on a hangnail once you get one. Well, that's what I did today inadvertently I think it was over by the stove or the refrigerator was trying to get underneath the cutting area the process of vegetables that I caught the corner of that piece of metal on the side of the foot box and totally spread it out. It's really a pain now, the flanged metal seems to catch anything that I'm doing unless I'm very very careful – – and I'm trying to be very very careful. I think in my mind I'm using this now as a reason not to go anywhere but it's really just the cold weather it stopped me from doing that. However, I spent the whole day in the hot apartment in less than a mile 6/10 of a mile is as far as I've gone today. Oddly enough I'm also having some problems with the left arm rest to my chair. This is the one that broke off that I Had Mark Anthony zip tie onto my arm rest receiver. Well now, the whole thing is slid off. I had a phone call in to Alan, my wheelchair mechanic/technician, which never has been returned and of course it's Friday on the long holiday weekend. Like I said the whole piece armrests slid off of the armed amount and finally I got Jennifer upfront to slide it back in. I think there's a cold or something that I've lost underneath this armrest That secures the armrest to the armrest mount.

Will it be before the loop around with this strong foot box so I am calling my brother Carl again who graciously stop by again and tried to repair the problem. Sadly he did not bring enough tools for the project which you'll have to come around, hopefully, tomorrow and screw the side of that piece of steel what's wrong back into the side of the chair box of bookmarks. It looks like it should be a relatively easy fix with the proper tools. I should've asked Carl to look at the armrest as well while he was here but I forgot. Maybe I bring it up tomorrow when he comes to tack that side to the foot box. It's okay I'm not discouraged if anything am encouraged because he'll get this thing done relatively soon. I'm so glad that I have older brother who seems to drop everything at a moments notice to run to my assistance whenever I asked…

Of Merit or Value

 

I've started season 2 of the X-Files. I wasn't going to do it but I thought I got sucked into it. I'm kind of fascinated that they dealt a lot more with UFOs extraterrestrials and such much more than I initially remembered. By the 4^th episode or 5^th episode I can remember Scully getting abducted herself and then it seems she gets impregnated. So parts of that season or coming back. The whole 1^st season was like I'd never seen the show before really interesting. A kind of wonder what would happen if if they started a new X-Files series. I bet it would be great special with all the weird stuff happening these days were certainly ripe for such a piece of entertainment.

I actually slept pretty good which was kind of surprising. It was coffee social today and it was kind of weird not only are we still dealing with the recent passing of one of our mainstays Billie but also with the reassignment of Rochelle who is sort of the on-base social worker type for the operation. Something weird because she's been reassigned like she's done something wrong and nobody will tell her what's happening typical private nonprofit work scenarios. I wish there is more I could do to assist this young person. Rochelle really has a lot of potential hate to see her get embittered and callous towards the whole Counselor– client relationship thing.

Later on in the afternoon I had to attend a zoom meeting. It was a Board of Directors meeting for the place like where I live. I've talked about this before but I don't remember if I've talked about my annoyance of the fact that management really seems to like the zoom concept. I understood zooming during the pandemic but I thought we did so to get back to normality once things quieted down – – which they have. I really should be still about this whole thing because attending a Board of Directors meeting from your own bedroom and cold and stormy days or days for the subfreezing should be desirous but I would much rather saddle up and head in to the office. Not only because the meetings make more sense but the director always has a good spread of cold cuts and fruit and vegetables. I do not deem myself very valuable on his board their hold meetings that I go in barely say anything except “hello” when everybody's checking in and I make sure that is 2^nd a lot of the motions that come before the board almost as if to make sure that one realizes I'm there. I don't engage as much as some of the other folks do like the bankers are contractors or builders or whoever else is on the board. But I am there visible person for disability and senior on the board. There are a couple other individuals similar to my situation but not as pronounced. You can shortly say a lot with the power chair. Anyway, the meeting was relatively good relatively quick and I did not have to get supercold so I guess it was a win-win and I still felt relatively good for having done something of merit/value today.

Helping Little Brother… Again

 

Had to call my older brother today, that's right my big brother, that seems so natural for me to say but it could be weird maybe and 72 calling on my older brother to help me get through my day. I always have to call him when something mechanicals gone wrong. He has this weird gift/skill set that allows him to fix almost anything. It's a genetic gift from his father to be sure because dad was the same way. My dad was from that pre-World War II agrarian survival set/group that had to be able to do every in anything to survive. Somehow, it was passed down to my brother Carl and I'm sure sister stay in Irene have the same skill sets. They could be X-Files, easily. Anyway, I had to call my 80 something brother to help me to fix my body lift.

It probably happened last week sometimes or Monday for sure it finalized. A small bolt on my body lift, the semi-electrical device that my home health people uses to lift me for my chair to my shower chair. The really is a back and lifesaver and used extensively 3 times a week.The bolt which had been holding the lever which widens in narrows the footprint of the lift to go around my chair to raise me then again to allow the body/my body just snuck up on to the shower chair over the commode, sheared off last week and then on Monday Melissa finish the job and broke the narrow screw or bold clean off. Then of course Gloria has a hard time using the lift almost to the point of refusal but we were able to get the job done this morning as far as toileting and going to the shower and back again. I told her though I would talk to my brother to see if he could come over and do one of his famous repairs – – which he did!

Last year my brother underwent double hip replacement which I think is pretty dramatic. However he had a number of complications and about 2 months ago he started getting some pains in his hip area and other places to make a long story short had developed sepsis and really almost died what a shock. Thankfully between his getting himself into the right medical folks and then into the hospital he's come out of it very well is after about of Covid. I was kind of worried that he had aged as well as been sick to the point that he could no longer help me when I needed it but fortunately I was wrong and he showed up a few hours ago and fixed my left so on Friday Gloria should be happy as a clam and if Gloria is happy Then I am happy.

My brother had Covid! And he diligently and gotten all the shots and all the other things he was supposed to do to avoid the disease. He got it anyway and that kind of scares me. He had sepsis and that he got the Covid he easily could've checked out but that would've been the end of that another statistic. But he's a special guy a lot of people depend on him especially me I just pray I don't wear him out before his time

Valentine Views

 

I was never really a big proponent of Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day was one of those semi-valid holidays celebrated nationally but not significant enough to take work or school off. It is kind of funny that way certainly did national holidays for things like war i.e. Veterans Day but nothing for warmth and love like Valentine's Day except for school exercises. Will not necessarily school exercises but you know, you have to give everybody in the classroom Valentine values to drive me crazy even the ones you never give one to in real life. I could be wrong but it seems like there may have been upwards to 30 kids by school classrooms. That's 30 Valentines I remember having to slave over them the night before to: somebody from: Mark. I thought I would never get the task done. Thank goodness for junior high and all that silliness pretty much stopped. Oh, is still gave Valentine's the folks you really thought were special but was much more risky. I remember putting valentines in peoples/girls lockers but I don't think anyone ever put anything in mine until high school and then I never do with the valentines that showed up at my locker then were genuine or just sympathy valentines. By the time I started high school I was in my chair/wheelchair. As always we had told how special I was all strong that I was but nothing really that suggested the relationship except for one or 2 instances.

Of course, nothing like that happens and senior living facility like I'm at. I actually thought about buying a box of Marvel valentines I happen to run across the earlier last week. I think there is like 32 in the box probably just enough for a regular classroom with a couple left over for backup if you needed. I could have done everybody here that I want to at the apartment complex I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Unlike Christmas in some of the other holidays I get little packages of my door things hanging off my doorknob which suggests that somebody thinks enough of me to give me a gift on the respective holidays. But so far no valentines and that's just as well. If I were really smart I would buy a bunch of valentines tomorrow when they go on sale at Macy's or wherever. Have a minute closet drawer somewhere that I could dip into next year if I'm lucky enough to still be around. This thing with Billie's is kind of unsettling . I keep wanting to say things like “I hope she's okay” of course she's okay. Wherever a whatever state she's in Billie is definitely okay. They've taken all the decorations she had offered door of course except they forgot to remove the calendar. Billie had this family calendar made but she was so proud of images of all her grandkids and family members with all their birthdays identified. I'm surprised the family left the calendar. The difficulty of the little knickknacks Billie had around her door but left the calendar. Maybe they meant me to have it but I don't want it seems a little ghoulish. As of yet there been no plans identified of 2 what's going to happen as far as funeral arrangements or anything like that. Maybe there will be about that I would go to any if there were transportation be a major issue still however it's kind of funny that we haven't heard anything yet. Billie was really in things like that making appearances of places and things that she thought was important. Sure she'll make it looking good as ever…

Like Spinning Tops

 

With Billie's passing is really got me thinking about low the folks here at the apartment complex where I live. We've had a number of folks pass away this last year some of them refigured it was their time waiting for getting close and others seemed healthy as horses and for one reason or another succumbed to that eternal sucker punch. I mean Billie was in her 80s at least so I figure time was nigh but I did think it was this close. I imagine that she would go to the hospital get rehydrated or whatever they do to you or give to you and come back in continued to live across the hall my neighbor with the red Kia that she loved to drive. It's kind of weird loud people who are close to be continue to ask if I'm okay, like did Billie's passing really negatively impact me thrown me into a mortally morbid depression but now I'm okay. Perhaps I wish things like this could affect me more. Maybe the ex-wives arrived I'm dead inside feelings wandered away long ago when I realized that my birth mother was given me up. I'm so glad she did has given the opportunity your choice I don't really think I wanted to be part of my biological family. Or that really sounds mean I guess it is true. I noticed today on Facebook I got a late birthday wish from my “little sister”. I've never really met this person with exchange some emails and texts but that's about it. I just don't have a feeling for these people.

Sorry I got to wondering there for a minute. I think were going to experience a number of more deaths relatively soon here at the apartment complex. We have a number of residents in their 90s some of which seem pretty frail. They all do a good job of living on are all mostly but all of us have assists one sort or another through the week. I'm always amazed at how good we look at coffee social on Thursday mornings. And I keep talking like their all corners pass away before me. Seriously, I need to be more realistic about these kind things those who knows any day I could just get nailed by that left turn or right turn off the sidewalk. I'm especially at risk when I cross the street with the light from the person in the car doesn't really see me and goes to turn to cross the intersection. Number of my friends about the turf that way. There's nothing to say that I may hit the buttons the wrong way on my chair and either drive off the top of one of the ramps at the train station are actually role in front of a train. I could be gone just like that. It wouldn't be but it really would be funny in that weird sort of way that these things happen. I sure hope that's not the case. But sometimes I get the feeling that were all tops spinning precariously on a tabletop somewhere in one by one the Spinning slows to the point where the top topples And we are left lying on the table waiting to be picked up and spun again wherever that might be

By By Billie

 

I know it's no surprise but still I feel I have to make some kind of acknowledgment regarding the passing of my friend across the hall Billie. I figure it's only fair to my dedicated/loyal readers since I've talked about her last couple weeks or really days. Us are just once last week when the demise fully began. I was alerted by a family member that she wanted me to come over and that was good except that when I got there she had already gone back to whatever land morphine takes you to during those last moments. I was kind of shocked to see all small and fragile she looked in her bed but I guess that's what the end game is all about struggling through those last moments of existence on this plane before you go to the next. I'm pleased that she regarded me as her friend.

I think we saw each other as special individuals that's why we were so tight together. Our apartments are at the very end of this building on the swing next to the dumpsters. Billie was a really nice lady know that sounds a little trite but she was. She was from that era where you always dressed up when you left the apartment to go shopping or anything. Sure he might be of Mary Tyler Moore that are closer always exact and cute she were close will. She was nice she always one to get to know the best in people almost to the point where it sometimes wore me out. She used me as the interpreter asking me what such and such meant or why would somebody say this are sorry that will treat her a specific way that didn't seem to make sense to her. There are some snarky people here at the apartments and that's okay that goes with the turf. She was for anything that brought people together weather was her playing the piano at Christmas or any other time of the year hopefully getting folks to sing or playing board games as they Do in the afternoons. She did this until her hearing got so challenged she couldn't follow the conversations much anymore and was just too much work. I think our favorite times were ordering pizza in the evenings. One strange thing was that we ordered the pizzas but never ate the pizza together. I was always a little taken aback when she would take her pieces of pizza and go back to her apartment and that was it. It's going to be weird now when they cleanout the apartment fix it up and then rent the apartment out. Going to have to break it into partner at the end of the hall.

“The beat goes on” – – I really do like that song. It says of all time stops for no one. As usual this morning I met the kids at the restaurant for breakfast. We didn't even try to wear shoes today I just put on my avengers blanket over my legs and took off. I almost was not able to put my shorts on. I don't know if it's me or the chair I've noted I'm struggling more and more to get dressed by myself. I'm having difficulty raising my right hip high enough to get my shorts on or over. And I was willing to use the black trick even then and draped it over my hips but luckily at the last moment is able to get my shorts high enough to do them up a look relatively normal particularly after a bound my legs together. I guess I felt a little guilty knowing that Billie was next door getting ready check out at any moment but I think she would understand “the beat goes on, the beat goes on the beat keeps drumming rhythm to the brain Lottie da da dee (I know that's not what's most look like but you get the point)… lauded

Saturday Sentiments

 

I was up early today not by design I just couldn't sleep. I woke up around 4 AM but never really got back to sleep. So I've kind of been dragging all day not that I had a whole lot to do anyway. Went to coffee at the little coffee shop across the street this morning with one of the folks here named Janet as well as Marsha. Billie was also one of the 1^st members of this little group but she continues to linger on deathwatch. I kind of think that's part of the reason for my sleep issues as I'm worried about her and her transition. I spoke briefly with her granddaughter Kristin this afternoon and said that at this stage she's just basically comatose in trying to keep her comfortable. I think she's on so much morphine at this point she's probably gone and doesn't even know yet. It's really strange however I hear weird noises coming from that apartment to muster some super death chortle or something. There seems to be a lot of folks over there which I believe are family members of the hospice crew, those folks that are referees in the endgame call the game when it's over. I wish there is more that I could do Billie sol nice I think she just needs to be released someone needs to tell her it's okay to go we will somehow look after ourselves without old Billie around.

I wish that they had been warmer. I didn't even get to the market today figuring I had everything I needed to get through till Monday. A really at a stage where I'm almost going to start fasting until Monday morning maybe just ingested liquids from Saturday till Monday except for of course breakfast on Sunday mornings with Mark Anthony, Jasmine and Jackson when he comes. That way hopefully I will be in the state were feeling like I'm going to poop in a 2^nd and not have to have Mark Anthony sling me up on the toilet on Sunday. It's nice that he will do that and he can do that but I just rather not have to have him do that all the time – – as yet. I was so naïve. This whole end-of-life doing this kind of interesting on weird levels now I saw how Michelle took care of her mother at the end of her life. I really didn't see that but is sensed that was happening but not witnessing it must've been quite intense just knowing how much Mark Anthony has helped me so far. If I'm fortunate to stay in this apartment complex for as long as I possibly can whether I'm using more home help time as well as Mark Anthony when he can I'm just amazed. This is the only reason we have children so they can take care of us of our elder years? I would hate to think that was the case specially when you go into the process of having the kids. Perhaps that was the 1^st aforethought maybe would treat the kids a lot better now and will be treating us in our elder years. Quite fascinated by sit and think about it but I don't like to think about it too often were too much. I could see and I would not be surprised if we moved in together at some point in time (if he doesn't get married or something in between). That would certainly assist in the endgame process. I would have to make some definite decisions just on what I would be willing to do. Certainly might be a better alternative to long-term care institutionally speaking. Kind of interesting thoughts for Saturday night on the day that I didn't do anything except movies…

Funky Friday

 

The day looks beautiful from the inside, looking out for once out in the element I was harshly reminded that is still winter but each day it looks more and more like spring. Really did not have a big agenda for the day I just need to pick up some vinyl gloves for my staff. I didn't realize I was fresh out. Luckily, once Gloria told me we are out of gloves was able to find a couple hidden in my box of medical stuff. I actually had another box of gloves that I purchased the year so ago but their real cheap and there actually food handlers gloves which is well bit different than what we use them for. Their bulky and frustrating for the people who wear them who have to do fine finger work. So I figured I'd go across the street to the True Value store, local hardware store which is where is run by a couple of families of polygamists. I don't have anything against polygamists is just they run the store and it's kind of obvious. They have always treated be good. Anyway, it took me a while and I finally had to relent and ask one of the cashiers were the gloves were. I knew they were there I've seen him before and the kid should be right where they were. I'm not sure if there vinyl all have to see on the next time I have staff who wears the gloves would you be Wednesday. If they won't work all order in some powdered vinyl gloves . I was good to go back to the apartment to drop off the gloves and head back to the market to pick up some Chinese noodles and a few other things I thought I might need for the weekend but it was so cold that I decided I would just go ahead and go over to the market straight from the True Value.

There was a little after 12 PM in the 5 o'clock market rush had not.really started yet of course So I pretty much had my run to the store. Trouble is that I didn't take my basket with me thinking I would pick it up when I came back to drop off the gloves. So whatever I purchased I had to have on my lap until I got to the cashier I didn't get much the holders about $11. Tater chips, jalapeno pickled peppers and soy sauce LaChoy. It seems a bit of gotten hundred 2 things more but I can't remember what they were. I had to limit myself because I really had not a way to carry the stuff adequately I had to use plastic bags that I never use the plastic bags. I think plastic bags from the markets are morally wrong. But I used the day, everything off my hook came on home vowing to stay home for the rest of the day which I did. I listen to NPR, science Friday, worked out on my bike and watched a Thor documentary followed by the latest Thor offering.

Even though it's Friday night I don't plan to stay up late. I have coffee with the group tomorrow however large the group might be. My next-door neighbor or my neighbor across the hall rather Billie has yet to pass she was a member of the group. We decided we would still have coffee because he thinks that's what she would want it so unworthy of tomorrow having coffee. I'll be back I'm sure relatively early to spend the rest of the day's post to be cold with possible clouds coming in

Miles To Go…

 

Once again the day look beautiful but the look of the day was deceiving. The temperature is still quite cold however I elected to where a blanket today so I didn't have to put on my shoes. Yes, remember problems with putting on the shoes now. I find if I were my blanket over my feet, the feet were pretty well camouflaged. Out of sight out of mind works for my feet every time. I was late taking off from the apartments due to Thursday morning coffee social. It wasn't a bad get together this morning though lightly attended and of course Billie didn't go at all. She lingers speaking with her granddaughter they are feeling just a few more days and Billie will be released. Like I said kind of put a damper on the social meeting this morning.

I felt that I need to get out on the bus line go somewhere. I did some asking around and found that I could get up pop socket at the Walmart just up the street. Have not been to the Walmart since before Christmas and thought that would be a great way to spend some time this afternoon pick up my pop socket and hopefully get back to the apartments before my show starts (marketplace). I found the item that I needed relatively easily it was making my decision on which pop socket I wanted to apply to my cell phone. I found one I hope will work out just a matter of time getting myself for somebody else to make the change. I will probably end up asking Mark Anthony to do the job if I can't find anyone else around the apartments. I had the time so I figured why not take myself up lunch. McDonald's is close by and very close to the bus stop. I felt like a McDonald's day.

It was almost 12:30 PM when I got to McDonald's. I don't know what I was thinking that I always seem to make the same mistake but this McDonald's very close to a local high school memorials to kids go for lunch if available but to the fast food joint of their choice or availability and in this case it's McDonald's. It was chaotic that sort of rejuvenating at the same time. But tried to sit very still trying to be invisible wall trying to figure out where the line started. I would really lik use the order boards or whatever they're called down that you can order everything by touching items on the big screen problem is that I don't think the touch boards are very accessible. So I wait in line until I'm waited on. It took a while but finally is a near adolescent took my order. As I was placing my order I noticed something or someone coming up on my rear. I filled touch on my shoulder and turned to see what I thought was a pretty involved person with a developmental disability. Anyway the fellow indicated that he was buying my lunch for me today. That was great as far as I was concerned. I used to make a great show of reluctance of having someone want to buy my lunch but now I just roll with it that way everybody's happy. I even kept the order down and they were concerned that I didn't order a drink with my fish burger and fries but that was the best I could do my didn't want to gouge my benefactor. It was nice. I should of ordered a drink but my bladder filled full enough and I still had miles to go before I P and miles to go before I P

Sad Wednesday

 

Another cold day, cold enough to keep me inside anyway. It's Wednesday so it's one of my home health days and glory just does a great job of cleaning up the kitchen while I'm on the toilet. She gets things cleaned up so well that I hate doing anything to mess it up when I start cooking well clean kitchen just goes out the window. Luckily I have enough stuff in the refrigerator to keep me from having to mess anything up cooking-wise. I have tons of Frank left over from the other day plus the last 2 chicken thighs I could last week plus tamales and frozen burritos and I could go on. Probably have too much in the refrigerator and and try not to eat more than I should but certainly nice to feel comfortable enough to not have to cook. Thank goodness I have a microwave like a probably survive for weeks with what I've got prepared. I've got a crown of broccoli in the refrigerator that I really should use quickly before it starts developing those yellow colorations on the florettes. I want to make some garbroc Soon but that would entail a lot of chopping wood should probably just blow up the kitchen but we'll see broccoli is a horrible thing to lose.

Last Saturday got a strange email from a friend of mine Billie who lives across the hall from me. We've been pretty good friends ever since she moved in about 2 years ago. She had been out I know to the hospital for a couple of days. I thought she was just dehydrated I knew that given her fluids but I got the email that she had returned. She seemed quite frail from her emails so I decided I would Standby in case you needed me but not necessarily visit her because I know that she was quite tired. Been quiet for the last week, worrisome. I did hear noises inside the door every once in a while an odd pass going to my apartment so I knew that she was still alive. I have a friend upstairs who usually joins us for coffee on Saturday mornings but has kept a very active role in keeping tabs on Billie. I got a text I believe yesterday that Billie was now in hospice and that they were waiting just waiting for the end.

Silly me, I thought that Billie was at an actual hospital typesetting called hospice and what I found out this evening was that hospice was here, at her apartment. I got a knock on the door late afternoon or early evening it was her granddaughter, Kimberly informing me that Billie and asked for my presence. It was at that time the young lady and her dad Billie's son informed me that she was not doing well and was on hospice in her apartment. I went into Billie's room there she was all crumpled up in bed. I don't know or should know me I was informed that she was on morphine and probably wasn't very aware of much at all, but she was in no pain. I visited with her as much as I could it was a pretty one-sided discussion. When she was verbal she thought I was somebody else in another place in another time. I will miss Billie when she passes she's been a good friend. Hospice says she may have a few days or maybe a few weeks it's hard to say it's just hard to say goodbye…

Just A Little State Of the Union

 

I just watched the 1^st hour of the state of the Union address. I can't say that I was impressed with the presentation at I watched but it was interesting just the same. I don't know what I'm going to do this next election. I just have a hard time voting for this guy again and not because he hasn't necessarily done a good job but my goodness the guys old! He's trying so hard I kind of feel sorry for them. But that is no reason to electing just because you feel sorry for the guy. It's weird when you don't have access to The regular networks I just get this straight programming I don't get the color provided by the news wonks but cover these kind of things. Kind refreshing but little challenging from people who were slow like me.

Fortunately I had the day off, no assist meeting this week, I even took advantage of the sunshine even though the temperature still kind of risk – – nothing compared to what has been the last couple weeks – – but I was able to get my shoes on myself and I through pointer over my legs and took off and I was actually able to get to my credit union cash my check that I got from Assist, Inc. last week for services rendered. This was not a payment for services as much as it was a stipend for showing up I don't know how that differs but it does somehow. What about 4 miles today actually 4.5 miles that's quite a distance in a power chair. My butt sure feels it tonight and I might even try to hit the sack of literally just to get the weight off. I have everything else kind of in tow. I did make a bit of a mess earlier in the evening when I inadvertently caught my toggle switch on my power chair on some sticks While trying Take my jacket off. Luckily I was able to finally stop by chair for moving by turning off the the power. I'm so pleased that I didn't do any damage to the bookcase which I nearly knocked over as well as to the sawhorse in my tiny woodshop. An event such as this always makes me think that I never really realize how powerful these chairs are and should never be taken lightly.

By the time I got home from taking the bus to the credit And to a small little fast food joint it was time to start my workout and listen to my NPR programming for 2 PM to 3:30 PM slot that I like to listen to while I work out on my arm bike. I felt pleased with myself. Too often when I want to get something done on my day off and up blowing off a lot of time by not focused on dressing and getting things done out the door. But not today I got dressed, all the way, even shoes. And I was out the door to catch the bus to do my business and back again all the days time doesn't leave much time for anything else but was able to get some things done…

Technical Frustration

 

It's a little thing, I would call it a pet peeve actually, the just wears me out every time I see it. A couple weeks ago one of those things flashed up on my screen is is doing something on the Internet I can't remember what. But it was something that said something like “in your neighborhood”. It was very upfront as these things are. Interesting little piece of software that once you enroll in the program shows you, on a regular basis, inquiries from individuals around your address i.e. neighborhood. I guess it's kind of a folksy thing and people who like that kind of stuff I'm certain love this piece of software but to me it gets a little overwhelming to see every time I open my email to see a bunch of notifications from people around my neighborhood. I guess in trying to keep my email is uncluttered as possible in these little scalawags keep tricking me into letting them in to my little world.

Yesterday and had about enough and I actually took time out of my day to try to find the “unsubscribe” button. There is usually such a device somewhere on the front page of the document you receiving. Is often written in small small letters in some corner of the page. Theoretically you can click that and that will take your name off the list of addresses the bot sends to on a daily if not hourly basis. Well I found the unsubscribe button I clicked on to it and after a bunch of frustrating questions about do I really want to unsubscribe or not. I finally was rewarded with the message indicating that I had successfully unsubscribed from that address. It didn't give me any notification that it may take a couple days are what For the process to activate. I was frustrated this afternoon when I opened up my email to find a bunch more notifications from individuals around my neighborhood one you know everything from did someone hear gunshots last night, a car crash around 3 AM in the morning, see a lost dog or kitten and on and on. Went to the process again found the unsubscribe button pushed on it and got the same notification that will assure that I wanted to make this move, I was and then I was assured again that I have successfully unsubscribed. We'll see tomorrow if I have been taken off the listings. I'll bet that I haven't. The other technical frustration I had to deal with today was contacting expert Eddie and trying to get my cable channels reinstated to my computer. I don't know what happened but a couple of weeks ago for some reason I can no longer access the cable offerings on my Comcast. This really didn't bother me much because I pretty much live on the Internet and the only time really do watch cable is to watch local news and weather and the tie into the national news at 5:30 PM. This hasn't been a big deal so I been sort of slowing trying to get it fixed but today I wanted to do so. I knew was going to be horrendous I should be given more time to the project but I had about an hour before my afternoon show started at 3 o'clock so I placed the call and of course I got some nice little girl in Asia seem to work real hard but to no avail. They wanted me to do all kinds of things to my computer and black box or whatever but I can't do because I don't have the hand function are the ability to get close enough to those items to produce that kind of labor. I finally had to click off to get to my arm bike and radio show for my daily work out. I'll try again tomorrow when I can dedicate more of a whole hour/day to the project doesn't seem fair but that's the job anymore

On Being Presentable

 

I don't know if it's going to be a new practice of mine but I sure know what I'm doing now takes a lot of effort stress off of my shoulders. Of course today is Sunday and as usual we have our usual breakfast appointments/reservations/table at the little restaurant down the street from my apartment complex. One of the best things about our breakfast is that we meet at 8 AM which I know is very early in very early for a Sunday morning it allows us to meet, communicate have a decent breakfast and get on our way whatever it might be.

In order to make the deadline that I have to make which is to leave this house by 7:55 AM I must get out of bed by 6 AM. This gives me 2 hours to get ready. It shouldn't take that long really you mean after all it's not like I'm getting really dressed up just doing on a few things and heading down to this restaurant we go to. What I've noticed in the last couple months I have to really work to get dressed and all that I need to get done in the 2 hours. And after all all I'm doing this point on a pair shorts and my shoes. Something's happened however I'm not sure what I don't know which the new cushion or the chair are something with me my body becoming more decrepit I don't know but if I choose to wear shoes many times I might be late for breakfast. Also, on days I don't have assistance I need to make very sure that I got access to shorts with the waistline that allows me to stretch the waste over the button this secure the shorts. This is also becoming more and more difficult. I sense a lot of it is that I'm sitting twisted in the chair more than I used to. Whether it's the foot box and the padding that's in the foot box which gets all rumpled up and causes my feet turn in northern usual which also means I can't pushoff enough to arch my back which allows me to pull the shorts over my hips and high enough that I have enough slack around my waist line to fasten the shorts. In the before times these 2 issues shoes and shorts were not a problem but I could do these with ample time to make sure that I have my morning meds taken in my morning drink to make sure all is well. So this morning I elected not to wear my shoes. I know people freak out when they see me on a cold morning without long pants and without shoes so I started wearing my blankets more and more over my legs which the public loves and I found can cover my feet. The public doesn't care as long as my feet are covered they don't know whether that more and shoes are not just fine with me. In that same vein I was late getting to an appointment or actually coffee last Thursday and I couldn't get my shorts fastened. I thought that grabbed a pair that was flexible enough but I was wrong and eventually I just pulled the blanket around my legs up around my waist which looked normal was able to do the whole coffee social with my shorts unfastened. Nobody knew except me and I was glad to be able to get away with it but still felt very uncomfortable. By the time we were finished with this coffee social the fabric had stretched enough that I was able to fasten the short to get on with my day doing much more comfortable. But that's my point. My the point now where I just leave my shoes off except for the days that somebody else dresses me and has the time and the inclination to put my shoes on. Or many times when I do shoes from my own I have the time to finagle my feet up over my legs to where I can twist the shoes under my feet. When I just myself I never look as good as when my help does but I guess that's all right as long as I'm semi-presentable…

A Little Bit Of Cheese and a Whole Lot Of Family

 

I was not going to write about this when I started this entry. I was going to write about the fact it was Saturday night and I just made my dinner of cold cuts cheese, crackers, summer sausage and grapes. Half of the dinner was supplied by my friend Dennis Dahle who sent me a a box from Hickory Farms were my favorite gifts include! Smoked sausage and cheese. I it's true I am dining on that tonight for dinner, myself lucky. But as I dictated the the date for today's blog I realized is my parents anniversary. I'm not sure but I think it would've in either 71 or 72 years they would have been married. I think I was one year old when they tied the knot. It's a long story pretty interesting as many places but not what I want to write about. Will write about the fact that I'm glad that I got adopted in this family. Weird I know I've pretty much always known I was adopted it was never big deal. It wasn't a big deal for a number of reasons mainly because I was raised under a dogma which totally believed that you could take a child not from your bloodline and go to your holy house of worship and perform the ordinances needed and that person would be bonded to that family is strong as any blood tie. I was fortunate to live under this concept for nearly 70 years. I thought for sure I would never have to concern myself with any of the family except for my adopted and “sealed “ family of course the dedicated reader knows about my daughter's search on one of those genetic DNA finder apps and all of a sudden I'm in possession of the knowledge about biological family! What do I do now?

I'm so thankful that fate turned out the way that it did. No offense to my biological family but I will have a difficult time in that group I believe or they would have a difficult time with me. It's so weird there's one individual in particular in my biological family was just younger than me and I swear searching for the equivalent of a “Walton” type family. I think a lot of the family members have all gotten together to try to bring this off but it just hasn't worked for me I don't know why. In fact I have a little resentment to the whole thing. I think I like these people of my bloodline to certain degree I've even tried to reach out the little bit of got little response in a little suspicious of the fervor under which my little bio brother has focused on bringing us all together. I mean a good guy basically. He is steeped in the life of an career in law enforcement and maybe that weirds me out a little not that I have anything to hide but maybe I do. Plus there's other members of family group of which I'm very leery of and really don't want to spend a lot of time getting to know them. What's the use? Especially at this point in my life from 72 in this dog doesn't want to learning a new tricks…

Friday Farts

 

My Wednesday Friday caregiver is called Gloria. I really like Gloria she's a unique person and someone that I will sorely miss when she leaves. This morning she gave me a covert warning that she might be leaving the area at the end of March to move someplace like Twin Falls Idaho. She's qualified threatened before leave for one reason or another but I kind of think this one is probably more solid than the other options she's had. It'll put her with her family ie. her daughter and grandson where she can actually play out her feelings to be a grandmother at close contact. Certainly cannot fulfill for that and wish her the most and best of luck. What really freaks me out and this is purely selfish is now I'm going to have to find another person to act as my home health person for those 2 days. I'm hoping, and I know this is a long shot, that my Monday person who is Melissa and really really good home health person might take those other 2 days. This would certainly solve the immediate problem when Gloria leaves. I am not going to put a lot of stress into this issue until it becomes more real but certainly plays on my mind. I would love to have another person trained as a backup for Melissa in the future. These are all problems I've never faced before since I've never been dependent as I have been since the stenosis and divorce and living on my own again they learned so much these past few years.

The super frigid air was finally moved out to the temperatures are now in the 30s which feels like a heat wave. I took advantage of the warmer weather after my shower this morning and went to the market to get items for the weekend. I totally enjoyed by timeout especially the shopping portion. I took my basket with me and I got 50 some dollars worth of groceries most of it in cans or bottles of liquid like juice. I guess what I'm trying to say is cutting getting tired of how heavy the items that I buy from the market are. 2 cans of peppers sliced, 2 smaller cans of sliced peppers and carrots all these cans of items or pickled which I use in my elixir drink in the mornings. But they're basically water and water is heavy. The bad 10 yogurts 2 bottles of juice both be in 32 ounces. It was a heavy load. Only once did I fear that I would lose my basket on the way home but I made it without issue. I got the grapes washed, the 10 yogurts put away in the celery in the carrots thrust in the crisper. Thank God Gloria picked up the kitchen and the living room a little bit. For some reason the place and got out-of-control I don't know why or how I let the apartment get so bad. She put a little effort into the project in at least I'm feeling a bit comfortable this evening looked around seeing the floor clear of debris for the most part. Sadly, I did make some dinner amid a little bit of a mess. My goal this evening is to sweep up before I go to bed and maybe just maybe keep this place looking a little bit more livable and develop some habits for cleaning the place when Gloria is no longer around…

Happy Birthday To Me

Happy birthday to me. Been a very quiet birthday for me today that's okay. I don't need cake and ice cream and a zillion people screaming out of the closet “surprise”! Times infinity. Today most like every other except I was born on this day 72 years ago! I spent the day doing the usual coffee klatch in the morning, washing clothes all afternoon and just finished folding and hanging them up a few hours ago. My brother sent me 100 bucks which is pretty nice. I got a call from him early this morning. I also got a box from my friend Dennis long time buddy from the old days more sausage and cheese and crackers from Hickory Farms one my favorites. So to real gifts +50+ salutations on Facebook that I didn't even understand was there. I rarely go to my Facebook account anymore it was more ex-wife Dianne notified me that there were a bunch of salutations there. Now I'm debating whether to respond to each one or do one of those generalized “thank you everybody” response to everybody all wants.

I mean is not like these people making a point to send me a happy birthday notification except for the bot inside the Facebook page notified everybody on my front page of my birthday just like I get notified on their birthdays with cranks up. Then I hit a”happy birthday” notification and in some cases even at other personalized note. I know how these things work but still it's nice to be remembered.I hate to sound cynical but that's so to how I see it when I get a notification of somebody's birthday that I know.

My son is now heading over with some birthday present type of thing. It's getting late it's 8 o'clock and we could have just waited until this next Sunday but he felt pretty strongly about bringing something over tonight. Quite frankly my place is a mess. I really need to hunker down and just spend some strong time cleaning up everything is dropped on the floor specially the kitchen where I prepare the food I eat and there is all kinds of junk on the floor. I'm currently going through a silvery phase I'm chopping up a lot of celery for my morning drink. I'm always amazed at how many celery chunks escape. I'm dropping a lot of stuff these days I don't know what's that about but that's just fodder for another blog. I drop a lot of stuff so the floor looks really messy, and it is but it's situational. I love that term “situational” makes things sound not as bad as they probably are . I'm getting to that point where I kind of care about what people think about how good my home looks. I'm still questing for a real live housekeeper who is yet to materialize.

Well I'm ready start another year. Year 72 I really need to go out of my way and make this the best your possible. From now on I need to make every minute count because they all do. I'm really begin to feel the whip no And scorns of advanced age. Luckily, I'm still fairly independent can do most of my needs. However this morning I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to fasten my shorts. I eventually got the job done but it took quite a while. Had I been really under a time commitment I would've just freaked out since it would just coffee group I covered my unbuttoned pants with my restraint belt and you couldn't tell at least I hope…