I wish I were smarter and
more self-controlled and a pretty long way from my outbursts of
earlier todays. I've been pretty well from staying away from traps,
verbal traps. I'm not saying what happened on Thursday morning was a
verbal trap but I certainly got caught up in something. Maybe because
it was Thursday and I had a lot going down yesterday all and I was anxious
to put my face in to the group and be done with that and then out on
the road to catch the bus northbound to find a pawn shop.
It was the regular
Thursday morning coffee group. I was a little groggy having trouble
sleeping the night before but not as bad as many times. I was doing
pretty well keeping up with the chitchat going on with the ladies. I
still don't remember the circumstances that led into this discussion
but all of a sudden my was asked something which evoked a reply for
me about supporting views of Charles Darwin and natural selection.
Suddenly the conversation stopped at my table and two ladies who I
think a great deal of turned to me and asked if I was joking ever
sure I was joking because of there is there is no way I could support
anything that evil as natural selection. In the ensuing minutes a
very nice older immigrant northern Europe area gave testimony of her
conviction Jesus Christ and that Charles Darwin was a emissary of the
devil. Janet, good friend of mine that this group asked if I can
explain to her why I felt the way that I did which I recognized as a
setup for a Christian attack. Red flags went up everywhere inside my
head. I immediately wanted to go for the throat but I held back
trying to keep from being too combative. In doing so somehow Donald
Trump came up in the conversation which again I nearly salivated and
went to pounce as the European lady swore allegiance to the GOP monster. I attacked she supported the president and the rest of the
ladies at the table who looked like deer in the headlights, began to
join the conversation by pressing the unwritten rule that discussions
of religion and politics were not welcome at the tables. I tried to
refrain but the way just Sticking me with openings I cannot resist.
I hate these kind of
discussions and I try not to be part of them but once I am drug in
such a discussion I call for blood – my mean comes out, I want to
hurt the person, I want to destroy the person. The moderator at the
discussion, the plant from management just wilted and vanished into
herself. What seemed like an eternity but was really just a few
seconds passed we quickly found the trail back to middle land and got
through the rest of the morning. The first chance I got a vanished
and got out of my day try not to worry about the events of the coffee
group. I noticed a strain today cruise around the common area. I have
not run into Clarice or Janet. I don't anticipate any issues except
for now Clarice is vowed to save my soul. I think sees saving my soul
as her calling…
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