The Great Destroyer

Tonight since the third day here at my new place of residence. The beautiful place actually, much more beautiful than I deserve. Today, the first real day of life here at Plymouth Place I decided to get some business done. I heard that my banking Institution call Mountain America Credit Union it's just around the corner at the community college and in fact it is. That was the first stop this morning when I left Plymouth Place. I was astounded at how good it felt to be back on a college / University campus. I totally vamped off the great  energy of the students I passed on campus and in the Student Union. I am even considering some classes come the first of the year. It only cost $10 a class to audit. Talk about a deal. I had to go to the credit union because I found out first thing this morning that this place does not take plastic! You really have to pay with a check! So I was able to change my address and get established here in Taylorsville. I was also able to get three or four counter checks to hold me by until my checks get here. This is so strange doing this all over again.

On the way back to my apartment I stopped off at the market and got some groceries but I noticed that I needed to get by. This is a little awkward since I had nothing but my lap to carry groceries on. I got quite a few actually: I didn't like lunch meat, eggs, Bread, a roll of quarters for laundry the basics. And of course once I got home I realized a bunch of other stuff that I wanted to get but I forgot which is just as well because I don't know how would have carried anything more than what I did.

My task, really for today, I was to do my wash. I've done wash laundromat wash, of course the past they all just seems weird now but I was up for it. I took the clothes out sort of them then carry them down to the laundry. I must confess this is harder than I thought it was going to be. That's okay I went to work literally. I chose to washers a top loader and a front loader. Dianne gave me a couple of bottles of laundry detergent in small packages that just toss it in the wash. It's all very convenient no carrying big boxes of detergent anymore very civilized. I had to snuggle up right next to the front loader did the closing it was then that I noticed I was destroying everything. I made a big gash on the side of the washing machine and they were similar scratches and dents at the bottom of both machines. Using one of my sticks to open up the dryer I almost tore up the front handle. The handle was still usable when I finished but I could certainly say I have made the difference. I am the great Destroyer my wife / X is right I destroy everything I touch. I felt so aggrieved I even went to the manager and confessed right there on the spot. They just laughed and blew it off I tried to let them know how sorry I was would not have any of it. Perhaps I need to get or pay one of them other folks here to do my clothes. That would be  decadent. So this is a bit of a confession. I did not wash I did it all comma a mess and got back to my room. The front door to my apartment it's getting messed up. I want them this supposed to get devices protect the door but it's almost too late now. Tomorrow, November 1st I'm turning over a new Leaf I really am going to be careful or more careful that I don't destroy any more of the place where I live.

Done Deal

I DID IT! This morning early I was up and out the door. I was on my way to Plymouth Place to finish the rent process. This storm coming in tonight and weather said the morning would be okay : Blustery but even warm. I had my devices charged that I was ready to go.. I did not have to wait too long at 5900 S. and I got into the station without problems.. I was kind of surprised when I realized my bus driver was Dan, Jin's husband.. We had a pretty good conversation. I was even more surprising was that he was also my driver on the return trip.. Jennifer, the apartment manager, was with another person I got there so I waited around and visited with other residents it was pleasant..

Jennifer seemed glad to see me and we jumped into the closing process. I had about 20 minutes of papers to sign which I did. Was kind of spooky but none of the signing process was to intimidating. The next did the apartment inspection which allow me once more to look closely at the apartment.. I must admit I'm getting more and more excited about the move the more I see the property. I was also excited when I asked Jennifer if I could keep my Saratoga silver with the other exercise equipment and she said yes freeing a lot more space in my unit. I started looking at the space much more critical eye seeing that I should be okay with space to hang close and ample space for canned goods. I should do okay especially with the dishwasher.

It used to seeing a great distance from the bus stop to the apartments is now much shorter now that I am learning shortcuts. I crossed Redwood Road and went to the Smiths fresh market and was pleasantly surprised. The market has more wear and tear than other fresh markets and does not seem to have choice of fruits as I'm used to but will do very well. The prices seemed very economical. If I cook I should be okay.

My next major project was making sure I had attended care.I came home and found the booklet I had circled the care provider made the call. I got a hold of another Jennifer seemed very nice even excited to have me as a consumer. I will be meeting her on Sunday morning at 8 o'clock and should provide my B and B.. And I should get the service at less cost But I did with Options. So today's been a good day better than I thought it would be. I have more packing to do that Mark should come over tonight for a little while and maybe were almost done..

Shame

I have truly become the worst version of myself at least according to my ex-wife number 3 and I think she may have a point. She says I'm brutally mean, conniving and uncaring. I hate thinking of myself n those terms. I am broken,I must be. I feel I have tried and tried and tried and have failed. I have destroyed her in all ways and apologize.

Waiting Just waiting

Yesterday I was so focused on meeting with the manager of the apartment complex I'm going to be living at and finalizing the paperwork that I overlooked the simplest detail which was leaving all the paperwork I was supposed to bring with me to the meeting on my table.. Remember this meeting was supposed to take place on Monday but because of inclement weather I got a reprieve for Wednesday, yesterday.. So, one document I need I do not have which means I have to go through Social Security and get a verification of income or budget letter. Theoretically I have one in my online account with Social Security and that should be able to download that document straight from the bowels of the system. But of course I don't have access to my Social Security account because I don't know my password and ID… Or at least I didn't at the time yesterday when I came back home and was trying to access this document. I'm sure Dianne has instructed me how to do this and probably given me my account name and passwords but I don't remember any of it.. Oddly enough, I was able to establish all of the information I needed to get into my account. However, as I madly tried to go through the process of opening my account I messed up more than three times and if you mess up more than three times you lose so my account has been frozen for 24 hours as from yesterday at 2 o'clock. Some I am still kind of freaked out that if I try today and mess it up well that put me on another 24-hour walkout. So this morning, I called social security administration and got their computerized voice system. All I wanted was to speak to a human to ask them how exactly 24-hour wait is.. I was told I could wait on ..line 40 minutes or have a human call me back in one hour. I elected to have a human calmly back in one hour.So here I am waiting trying to be proactive waiting for the call.

Last night my son went up to the University Hospital and procured boxes a friend of mine at the hospital got. When I get these boxes I can start the process of packing for the move the hopefully I can begin as soon as I can get this letter of budget. I have to take a moment to thank all the people in my life will that help to me the last couple years of trauma I've been experiencing. Dianne particularly, Gabriel Bridgette, Asher,, Carl and Mark A and many more.. It is amazing how much these folks and done and continue to do.. So I have to do What little I can to help the process. I feel so lacking.

So once again I am in a holding pattern, waiting just waiting for people who have control my life are things that have control of my life reboot, or reset or return phone calls to let me take the next baby step that will allow me to

to the next level..

But That's Enough

I was awake pretty early this morning seemed like I been up hours before I looked at the cloc and it was 5:15 AM.. I was wide awake and try as I might I cannot get to sleep. Finally I got up at 6 o'clock to start my day. I think I am getting stressed out with the upcoming move to my new quarters. I still do not have an apartment for sure.. I think that I do I just have to finish the arrangements which supposedly, is tomorrow When I meet with the manager of the apartment complex I'm considering. I really wanted to have this done Monday, yesterday but I wussed because of the rain. I called the manager yesterday to let her know and she said not to worryAnd we decided I would come over on Wednesday, Tomorrow. Supposedly today was to be a rain day as well. However, it's been a beautiful morning and I just got back from the A&W where I got a burger for lunch. Was even wearing short sleeves. So I could've done to meet today but oh well and primed for tomorrow..

Now requesting for boxes. This is hard for me. I'm working with Mark Anthony who is willingly helping me and I'm a little frustrated trying to figure out how to find the boxes and let Mark. I hate for him to have to do all the work so I'm trying to do my part. Fortunately one of my friends,, a nurse at the University who has been my wound care specialist cover years ago indicated he can get me all the boxes I needed and Mark hooked up with him via Facebook and hopefully their work together to get all of boxes I need. Kevin, my nurs friend,asked how many boxes I needed And I just shot and said 10 boxes maybe 15. I thought 10 boxes might be too many but better than to have too many thin too few. So if I can get these boxesand some help filling them with my stuff I should be set to go when I get the okay to move into the new joint I should be on Easy St., Mark and I were speaking last night and we might go together and rent a storage unit. This would allow us/me a place to keep some of my stuff until I figure out where I'm going to finally end up.Mark does not believe This senior apartment complex is for them in and up. He thinks it's just a regrouping area and the more I thought about this tomorrow think you might be right. I don't know where I would end up going or what kind of circumstancesI will end up.But maybe there's still interesting living options left open to me.

And hoped the rain with taking care of the tomatoes but they look pretty dry this morning when I went out to lift weights. I was once again amazed that I have one tomato that has turned red. This little guy made it all the way through.. I may have to eat them just to be honorable of his works.. I'm surprised how many other tomatoes I have coming on now. I did it I grew meniscal tomatoes with only one becoming ripe but that's enough. I can let them go now whether by moving or by frost

Reaching Out

A light rain is falling this morning which is so weird because at 3:30 AM I was awake and there was moonlight coming through the window. I figured it was just another weather forecast gotten wrong by channel 13. I slept in this morning till 7:45 AM this means I'm losing my edge which kind of freaks me out.. I can look at the event as just enjoying Sunday morning by myself doing what I wanted to when I want to do it.. I looked at the event in that light I don't feel so bad.. I do not want to get slothful I do not want to get overweight anymore than I already am, I want to keep losing weight and making my life easier to handle physically and emotionally.. I really do have a great deal to be thankful for .

I really have never reached out to friends when I am in a crisis mode not really. Last night however I did. I was not really in crisis mode but it was Saturday night and I want to hear a voice from someone I truly liked. I want to call Dave. Dave was my  supervisor from when I used to work at a place called Dawn Enterprises, Inc. Or D E I, Dawn is a private nonprofit workcenter – – used to be called sheltered workshop. Anyway Dave was my manager and we became good friends .. We of we made contact last couple months is even stopped by a couple times on his way to Blackfoot to visit. I called Dave we talked. No last 15 months much like me his life is been filled with medical trauma to heart attacks which are documented plus a possible neurological event which very well could lead to a full-blown stroke. Dave then told me that out of the blue number months ago as he was driving he suddenly develop double vision. It didn't take long , just a few seconds/minutes to realize the closed one eye can drive just finAt least good enough to get home. Of course, David Consulted A neurologist who kind of confirmed the idea that he may have had a minor minor stroke and the big one still might be coming. Dave is a of walking funeral! But Dave is taking this in stride and sworn to live every day as usual. I keep getting shown these examples of people: Deb M., Larry or, Alan Kimball Who are living under severe and challenging circumstances in most cases worse than mine. I have so must be thankful for I need to stop worrying about life and just live it. I have been given so man gifts.

Last night was supposed to The and “B and B” night – – See yesterday's posting – – I just messed around the house thinking of things to cook and having a late dinner for forgot to be about 12 AM.I've not heard the status on Jean yet and I'm hoping all is well. I sort of think however my brother has his hands full and I'm going to have to figure another option for my bowel program. WOW! Things just keep getting more and more interesting…

October 15, 2016

(This was actually supposed to been posted  last night but I forgot the last step)

Dianne and the family Left for California this morning. They left a lot later than anticipated – – in fact I thought the left last night. So imagine my surprise this morning when I was having breakfast I hear the front door open And it is Dianne coming to pick up a couple things she had forgotten last night.. I was shocked I thought they drove all the way back when in fact the had not left yet. I'm amazed.

I did okay my first night being on my own. It's a little spooky but I'm surrounded by good neighbors and family and I keep my cell phone with me at all times so if something happens I can call. My brother Carl was supposed to come over tonight and help me with my program but his wife//Jean is in the hospital and that's not a good sign. As for as not getting my program tonight I am okay. I feel confident I can go another day I just hope everything works out for Carl and Jean. Actually,, I'm sure glad to have this night alone to myself. I don't know why I just am.

Expect a good day by myself, went out and did some shopping got some items for stirfry.. I'm hoping to find some rice that would be good . I have got half a bag of frozen vegetables which I think would make great stirfry. I can get some from going got the fish sauce I should be okay.

I really love my neighborhood.. I am really going to miss the feeling of security I have here. To that end I have kind of been dragging my feet as far as letting people know about the divorce in my upcoming move.. As I was coming home from the market this afternoon I noticed LaNae, my neighbor's been really good to me over the years. I really do love her and I think I will miss her most of all LaNae was in her garage, on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor. It's what she does she think that's important having a clean garage floor.. I startled LaNae when I came up and said hi.. When she saw me her face broke.. She was visibly heartbroken. I could tell she knew about the divorce.. In fact she thought I had already moved out because there were no more lights in my window.. The lady gets up early, very early every morning, so she goes to bed very early in these days I'm spending more and more time in the computer room so when there is lights in my room she's in bed. We talked we talked for about an hour. It was a good discussion. She kept saying over and over how much she would miss me. I told her I would miss her and how much I enjoyed having her and her late husband as my neighbor. I told her I needed to go on and put my meat away.. But I promised I would call her regularly and drop by from time to time

It's Done

It's done. Well,, it's sort of done. All the papers have been filled out everything has be Divided up everyone seems happy with that. We spent the afternoon at Utah Legal Services signing documents. It's amazing how many documents one has to sign to be divorced. The staff was happy as clams. Dianne had done Her Usual magnificent job of documenting and data collection. The staff was astounded at how detailed her information was. Dianne got major kudos this is important to Dianne, positive feedback is most important. The staff was delighted that the divorce is uncontested and relatively amicable. Very rarely does this happen.. There were no major fights, arguments are the usual horrible feelings.. They're just there ending.

Utah Legal Services is a private nonprofit that I have worked with over the years with many of my clients in the area of landlord-tenant issues. I certainly knew them from a distance,, from the outside looking in. In fact their office is right next to Assist Inc.Where I have a meeting every week. It was weird going to Utah Legal Services as a consumer. Of course most of what one has to do takes place upstairs there's no way this place is wheelchair accessible. Of course they does the legal bullet by being hypervigilant and making sure to bring anything it needs to be done down to therefore your downstairs which is just a big wooden bench and a desk. I suppose that works not that I was going to bring about any legal issues I just want to get this thing done now and out of my hair and move on to the next challenge of my life whatever that might be

It's Not About Me

It's been really hard for me to find time in well to write a post that's why the month is a third over and this is the first posting for October. We're in the midst of a divorce! I guess I should not be surprised but I guess I am. Dianne is just had too much. Or has not had Enough love and support. This last 18 months has been just too much.. The surgeries, extended stay at the SNF and the drain on the financial accounts. There's also the issue of my destruction of the house. She sees the whole 20 years as a waste of me using her not getting anything back in return. But I am not going to say much more at this juncture and try to just get on with getting on.

Dianne feels a lot of this breakup is divine intervention… I don't know if I can accept that but things sure seem to be falling into Place Strangely so. I was able to use of my connections with Utah Non-Profit Corporation.. I was pleased and amazed to find they had a wheelchair accessible unit open and available in seeming to make sure that I had a place. I think I should be able to move in and about a week which would be just about the time Dianne and family will be getting back from California. Now I'm having to begin the process of paring down – – getting rid of my life as I know it. And actually I'm not feeling the angst that I thought that I would.. I think am actually looking forward to getting rid of a lot of this stuff going forward with as little as possible.

The place I'm going this senior housing which is kind of weird. There are a lot of blue haired ladies and old forts with white Shoes. I wish there were more for my age but I'll have to range find those guys. I have access to two fairly decent bus routes one which takes me directly to the Buffmire Center, Where I have outlined in my meetings.. I will have to spend a lot of time on a bus but that is okay. I'm toying with the idea of keeping the van to have other people drive me around but maybe I need to let that go too.

I'm scared, not as much now as I was, but I'm still spooked and being on my own again.. At being on my own at this point in my life. I really have appreciated and depended on Dianne over the decades.. She is so smart and so good at research I really benefited from my association with this woman.. I wish I had been better able to express my love to her. But she is committed to being out and I have to respect for desire it's not about me.

Divorce!

Looks like  we're Divorcing. I am in crisis mode Looking for accessible housing which is affordable and close to this area.. So much to write about so little will. Stay tuned

Pledge Drive Fall 2016

I have a small DI radio that I keep in the bathroom. You know DI = Deseret Industries the Mormon equivalent of Goodwill. That ubiquitous radio with red digital numbers informing you of the time which also has A cheap radio receiver. The radios usually cost a dollar And are stacked like cordwood in electronics section of the giant, corporate, secondhand store. But I digress, I turn on the radio and realize it's the first day of pledge week – – local soft strong-armed public radio station's effort to gouge more money out of its listening public. Not that it matters but I also have the same kind of radio in the kitchen, in my shop in the garage into stacked on each other in the closet ready for use when needed.

Like all quasi-elitists, who listen to public radio, I have a love-hate relationship with Pledge drive. I doubt really the radio stations really raise the money they say they do. I believe the money is basically corporate given and And they love the idea of community giving, grassroots level stuff, it makes public radio feel warm like a John Denver concert which is usually shown at some point during the fundraising season. I think the listening public radio audiencehas grown callous to the begging and fundraising antics of the poor radio staff who (I know are forced) take part in the pledge drive. I believe I have blogged in years past on a strategy the that I've used which is finding public radio stations in other markets were not in the pledge drive. That worked for a couple years until I started sensing that all public radio stations are on the same schedule.I think I can tolerate public radio fundraising better if they did not cut into programming. They usually kept in two the last 5 to 10 minutes any particular show that I am listing to. I noticed this particularly with Market Place that I was into every workday at 430 – – this is actually broadcast from New York City via WNYC which broadcasts shows two hours earlier than the local station airs the same shows. Invariably cutting into one of the best parts of the broadcast to fund raise the last 10 minutes of the show drives me crazy.

It's now officially autumn, the mornings are brilliantly beautiful, cool and crisp and totally inviting. A steaming hot cup of coffee doctored up just right, a computer with a fast enough connection and a public radio station kicking off their fall fund drive soda makes you feel right with the world like a segment from Prairie Home Companion.

Cold Winds Blow Chaos

I was beside myself this morning as I rolled the back to water my plants and I found all my plants lying undersides are upside down. It was total chaos. Dumbfounded I just sat and witnessed the carnage. I thought perhaps kids have gotten an to the backyard willfully destroyed my struggling little garden. However a moments thought revealed to be that the onslaught of last night's storm must've produced the chaos on my back porch.

Of course the first thing I did was returne to the house and boob to Dianne of the trauma that had visited a growing area. She just gave me the “mom look okay what are you going to do now? look” I mentally s slapped myself a couple times and turned around and rolled back to my growing area And began straightening up the mess.

Luckily all the plants stayed potted through the great wind and rain of the night before. However most of plants had actually been blown off their perch and were lying on the concrete floor the patio. Though some of the plants lost a lot of surface dirt the roots look like they had stayed intact and seemed no worse for wear. I had grabbed my great hook from outside the front door as I came down the ramp knowing I would need the hook to help me set up the plants. I was amazed that how it's I also noted how solidly the roots were rooted. I almost wanted to grab the little plants by the stems and just lift them up right but I didn't choose instead to use my hook to set the plants upright. One plant had been blown completely off its little pot stand. The pot stand is full of water which I figured if I could place the plant back into the stand it would greatly drink that water. That's what I did. I noted at the same time that the plants were only half moist. I really hoped the rain of the night before we've done my job for today but no I needed to get some water on the plants and hopefully this would help them regain their footing after last night's the wind trauma .

Well, I got My plants upright and I got them watered And I hope they're going to do fine I'm sure they will. The question now how much going time do they have left? In fact I think in the back of my mind when I rolled back to the house to tell Dianne what happened I was hoping she would say “oh just leave them there – – it is going to freeze soon anyway.” But she didn't she just gave me the look. Now my decision is how long will I maintain a green menagerie. I have new fruit coming on and my oldest tomato looks great all things considered. The drag a little green butts in the house but there is really no roomIn the house for that I don't think. I don't know how long they last. Can keep tomatoes in the houses houseplants? Does that seem right? Am I just having a problem letting go? Bottom line to the planting and care? I know I would.

I tried to put the tomato racks back on the plants but they just wouldn't have it that going strong stems and wanted to support themselves – – I can understand that. Still I turned one against the wall so it can lean its fruit against the wall, the others I arranged so that they were all touching each other. This may be feel warm and kind of felt that perhaps the cold nights coming and cold days and feel much better have each other to cling to as their little fruits grow. I pushed my rickshaw 100 times felt the cold/cool fadeaway as my body heat increased and was amazed when I saw snow on the tops of the peaks east to our house.

Bless!

This is the kind of really weird week for me. I'm glad my buddy came into town and Dianne and I met he and his wife for dinner well actually for lunch or talk a long time and is a great reunion. My Tuesday meeting Assist.Inc. was canceled. I standing Assist Inc. Meeting is important to me because this meeting gets me out of the house and onto the train and exposes me to people and other environments in which I live. Not that where I live is bad – – where I live is good I just need to get out every once in a while.I'm a bit embarrassed now as I write this realizing it is only Wednesday and I really have done something every day this week by him I my complaining?

Anyway, I woke this morning with a commitment to myself that I was going to go out somewhere. I got up and got dressed made myself breakfast and then found out the “the energy guy” is coming back to do some more work. There is a great hole in the ceiling for the old house is the add-on that was never sealed up right and this is been bothering bill The energy guy. We thought we were done with him when we settled up last week but he came over this morning wanting the sheet rock the whole. So I put off my trip To hang around the house for everything like it was okay then I left.

A beautiful day for the last day of summer temperatures the 80s clear whether (at least the morning and early afternoon storm is coming in later today). I had nearly a full charge of my battery and the place to go and I was gone. Dianne had made me a great BLT lunch so I was set. Taking up this late in the day I'm not going to range far like downtown Salt Lake are Sandy or even Sugarhouse. I just noted my chair down the number of blocks to a cute little strip mall in Murray. It has a Best Buy and Barnes & Noble and anything else I could want to eat Or drink. There's a couple fast food joints and the prolific shop Starbucks. Who could want anything more?

The really justify my time at the bookstore and electronic Mecca as doing recon for Christmas. In reality I'm just fantasizing what it be like to have anything I wanted instantly. I spent way too much time at Best Buy looking at computers: laptops, desktops and tablets. I also like to see all the other little innovations that inhabit this great marketplace. I was blown away when I turned the corner heading into durable goods inside this great screen on a washing machine! What a great idea! The DVD player hooked to your washing machine with the screen on the washing machine! I can do little close and watch a DVD at the same time life does not get better than this. I stared at this incredible feat of engineering. I think I knew deep down it was some sort of advertising ploy highlighting the exploits of this machine but what if it wasn't? What if they could do that? Or even on a DVD on my refrigerator in the kitchen! What a great time to be alive?

Just Another Bump In The Road

One of the legacies of my recent stenosis challenge has been the debilitating nature all the insult. I became conscious following the first surgery I had significant weakness in my left arm. This weakness was so significant that I landed in Rehabilitation for a couple weeks impatient and months outpatient. This weakness took me from a plain where I was totally Independence to a point where I was really dependent on everyone for just about everything I did. I could feed myself and even then I had to go to occupational therapy to figure out swallowing. It has been 18 months. However I worked very hard and those around me have worked hard and sacrificed much so that I could come home to an accessible environment and loving support to assist me in my continued Rehabilitation.

Taking care of a person with a significant disability is a great stress to the home environment. We had the house Home Health workers come in and assist me in my activities of daily living. Everything from getting up in the morning , dressing showering shaving and even pooping. This assistance is not free and many people are fortunate to have some form of insurance policies to cover this but I do not so this is all been out of pocket. Eventually we cut down from everyday assistance to every other day with the help of volunteers like my brother who would come in the morning before going to work get me up and dressed. Little bit by little bit true continued Rehabilitation and strengthening I have been able to get to the point killing myself too bad hands up in the morning do all my shaving stuff and even get myself dressed totally independent ! The only thing I cannot do independently at this point is my toileting. I use a suppository that's inserted and then I am placed on the toilet. I am fortunate enough I have a great Electric lift which is hydraulics and has a sling. I'm placed into the swing the suppository is administered and I'm placed on the toilet. Now the professionals at the hospital and rehab facilities would like to have me using the suppository every day but that's just not functional on many levels.

The cost for home health was killing us and we finally went to having a home health person come in three times a week to do toileting and showers
. This was not ideal but tolerable. So we settled into a routine even getting 3 workers who were reliable and good. Then ourWorld changed once again. When my main health aide had an accident and we had to find a substitute it was discovered that home health aides we're not allowed to administer suppositories. We have been working with these folks for nearly eighteen months and they have always administered the suppository. Without their ability to do this procedure they're of little use to us so we have discontinued their use. Dianne is taking over now very difficult for her with her physical ailments. Plus there is the issue of for yearly trip to California coming up in October. This will take a week and I'll have to figure out something to do over this period.

Tired Ramp

It's time for maintenance focus on the ramp which access is my own. I have a big wooden ramp that rises up two steps to reach the door of my house. Every 3 to 5 years maintenance on that piece of what has to take place now is the time. The ramp is beginning to get spongy and wobbly. I still think the device is safe but I agree with Dianne that we need to spend some time on shoring up the access device. This translates out to being we either a professional to do this or round up a bunch of volunteers who has basic skills to do such a job. Over the years my son-in-law Gabriel has often done such work but it really is not fair to ask Gabriel once again for assistance and more importantly they real as eczema so bad in his hands he can no longer really do this kind of work even though he would love to be a carpenter once again. So I am having to figure out a crew who can assist me for us.

If my dad were alive and living in Salt Lake Valley I would instantly pick up the phone call and ask if he could help with this project and he would he always did. So since that is not around and I have an older brother who is I called him straightaway. And like the great older brother that he is he said yes and came over yesterday, I assume after church, to look the project over. Carl – – that's my older brother – –-ramp Walked up and down, bouncing here and wiggling there, squatting down looking under the ramp and listening Dianne and me talk about the ramp like an old friend Which really it is. I love my ramp. I think sitting on my ramp all Through the summer Is the best vacation I could enjoy. I love the simplicity of the big wooden slope. I feel like a small king sitting on my ramp. I survey the neighborhood, Read and watch the weather. I feel like a poem sitting on my ramp I feel like something Robert Frost should've written about. But now I have to or someone has to fix it up.

I sort of think my brother, Carl, which is to soon do the work himself but cannot use my older brother 10 years older than I did for 75 even if he is a young 75He is still 75 years old. Carl does have a son-in-law who often comes with him by asking for assistance and he has some great grandsons too But there's a lot going on in the family right now and that may not be an option. I have a son that I'm going to call and see if he can help. I just don't know what kind of skills Mark A has in this arena. Would love to have him involved I just don't know if he'll be available. I also have some cousins that theoretically I could call I just never have before feel kind of awkward. In that same token I have friends that I could call but even if they responded positively I don't know how to integrate them with my brother. I mean it's going to be close quarters and get three or four bodies working it's going to be awkward as well as frustrating people get in the way of others will have to see.

Now, I'm just praying for good weather. My brother cannot even get to this job until after this weekend which means that the earliest next weekend. So I'm trying to get the well up call family and friends to fill out a workgroup and probably most importantly good weather.

Cherry Bomb

The image at the top of this posting is my neighbor Dan's side yard. What is missing is a cherry tree which is been dead for at least 7 years maybe 10. I have been coveting and watching this tree all these years. My neighbor Dan is a pretty good guy. He's been very helpful to me and Diane when we have needed help with any number of things from jumping my van to picking up things I can't lift by myself, particularly in the garage. We've had a pretty good relationship over the years. That is why I was a bit surprised and Confused when the other day I noticed the tree toppled over.

I have been patient for nearly a decade to get few branches of this tree. It's a cherry tree and I love cherry wood. I was hoping to make some sticks and who knows what else out of some of these limbs. I even talked to Dan a couple months ago when I got a feeling he might be getting itchy to remove this tree. He was very cordial as I knew he would be and I continued to wait and be patient.

I should have gone over the very second I noticed the tree was laying on its side. Thinking back I saw the tree was no longer standing but it did not register for a day or so and then I saw, indeed the tree was down. I figured I had time. It was the middle of the week when I noticed and I figured that Dan would do nothing until the weekend. Shame on me.

We have not been super close but close enough that we've been able to call on each other in rather touchy situations. We had a hard time mowing our yard last summer and Dan sent over a Tongan lawn crew to mow my yard without even telling me. I was appreciative at first, and still am, but still it made me realize the neighbourhood was watching my yard and probably me. That's cool. Dan also asked Dianne and to testify in Dan's behalf when he was going through a custody battle in tough divorce. We have each other's backs. Neighborhoods being neighborhoods it's interesting. We have spent a great deal of time on our front deck / ramp which looks directly on to Dan's house the back of his house. We see each other all the time me on the ramp and then going and coming from this house. Granted, like many of the homes in this area probably all the homes except for a few none of them are wheelchair accessible. But wonder what we would have been like had Dan's home been accessible. Would we have been closer friends / Neighbors?

This morning I noticed with a hollow feeling the tree that was lying down, the tree today so coveted branch , limb was gone entirely. I sighed and accepted my fate I'm never getting my coveted cherry wood.

So, I will still wave every morning and evening make small talk , wish Dan, happy holidays and realize streets make good neighbors.

Our Man Bill

Bill working hard to weatherproof the front door

We are finally doing a little bit of remodel on the house. This remodels been a long time coming, we refinanced the house and now have a little spending capital . I think we have not done well remodeling in the past particularly when engaging are trying to engage contractors to do the work. However, hopefully we're due for a change. Dianne did a great deal of research, as she always does, and we started weatherproofing the house. I mean we're seriously doing the house. This last week we have had the sealer/sealers command and are supposedly plugging up all the holes where traditionally the heat has flown out of the house. We had this little guy named Bill as a contractor. Bill is peculiar to himself Bill is a slight man. I think Bill is a lot smarter than I give him credit for or did.Bill is almost skinny. Bill has a good vocabulary and is a soft speaker. He articulates well. Bill is one of those folks that after you get to know a bit you feel is a great deal under his surface.

When I first met Bill I thought that perhaps this guy was a flimflam man. I mean I don't think I thought he was a fraud, I thought Bill really believed in what he's doing. But I got the feeling Bill got his equipment and all documentation from a classified ad in the back of Mechanics Illustrated or Mother Earth News or the like.. You know the send away for the program, three to six weeks You get Your little package in the mail our UPS and you got everything you need to get going. Regardless of where Bill got his equipment he seems to know how to use it but perhaps that's part of the con. I really sense Bill truly believes in what he's doing. He's been sealing up the house and under the house. Wrapping the the pipes, Filling holes in the wall that I made with my wheelchair, using his special equipment to see how much there is either getting in our getting out of the house. He and Dianne have worked out a deal for his services I don't know how it works but Bill is certainly earning his money.

Bill was only supposed to be here two days. Now it looks like the project will be three days for sure maybe even longer. In fact, Bill had a fellow with him the first day's name was Colby, you know like the cheese. Colby came by the second day work a few hours and disappeared never came back. This morning I asked about what happened to Colby and Bill said Colby just sort of evaporated. I think Bill is about as good a manager as I. I'm not a very good manager I do not know how to work with people to get work out of them. Bill is just a nice guy– – A downright friendly fellow.

I hope this adventure and remodel works out I really really do. If not I am sure Dianne and I will have a great adventure in great stories to tell as we begin this next adventure in our life – – – the remodel.

I Love Them All

Tomato row and my one and only tomato

I get up in the morning usually around 630 or 7 AM. I think a start waking up around five 5:30 AM but I noticed by the time I get up getting close to 7 AM. I drag myself out of bed into my chair and go to the bathroom and do my morning and the page ADLs. I usually make the coffee the night before and all I have to do is push the button the coffee begins to drip them back to my room to dress. Once I am somewhat presentable I go out to the back take care my plants or what I affectionately call my garden.This year the garden was very meager. I started late but I noticed that ShopKo was selling off their garden tent. I thought I was only buying one plant and actually I got six all the little tomato starts came in a small egg carton type of container. I also got a couple squash but they did make it. And I a pleasantly surprised that nearly all the plants that are tomatoes made it, kind of.

As carefully as I was able, I transplanted my little tomatoes into their own individual pots. I thought the pots were pretty big and was pleased when the plants begin the root and thrive. For a number of years we have had bags of plant food specifically vegetable plant food so I figured I would actually feed my plants this year and I thought I would have a major outcome I would be pleased with. Every day I've gone to the back patio and checked on my plants. I watered the little guys twice a day and fed them once a week. They grew, they looked healthy and that even begin to sprout blossoms I was totally surprised and excited. I diligently got tomato racks (?) Or whatever the devices are called that reinforce the tomato plant. I began to worry however that blossoms would come out looking beautiful and yellow but nothing would happen. I couldn't figure out the problem. Then a couple weeks ago I noticed one small green or almost hidden by the leaves. It was my first tomato and sadly I only tomato. A little green tomato size my thumb. I've been pleased to see the thumb sized tomato grow! And still none of the other plants have any fruit. I consulted with Amy I friend from work who grows the greatest tomatoes of ever seen – – consistently. She told me I was probably feeding my tomatoes too much in that I needed to stop feeding the tomatoes make them think they are starving. Amy said that stressing the plants makes them produce so I started withholding food and looking over my shoulder as I knew there must be an organization which prosecutes those who are cruel to plants specially withholding food.

I've not yet been arrested and still I have only one tomato. I've gone back to feeding all the plants and even the onions. It doesn't matter now it's the sixth of September every morning I rise and the temperature is chillier and chillier. The frost is coming just weeks away I can feel it. I will support my tomato and the other plants – – the Barren plants because I love them all regardless of their potential and ability To throw off fruit. I think the problem was they are all root bound. I think the pots were too small. There's a guy down the street who actually built pretty large boxes in his driveway of his tomatoes are going like gangbusters – – – I think it's the pots. So I'll continue to get up, do my ADLs, get dressed, get breakfast then go out and water my plants and enjoy them until the frost hits and then enjoy my memories.

Like Another Labor Day

It's Labor Day, a holiday and even though I'm not working I still love to celebrate Labor Day like I was. I woke up this morning excited to have a holiday and things to be just a little different than the usual they. No mail of course and I was surprisedThat the light rail, which runs right behind our house was running today. There are not as many trains running probably running on a Sunday schedule if I had wanted to go somewhere I could. But I didn't I just hung around the house, tended to my plants and worked on my puzzles – – this is my new plan to outfox Alzheimer's and dementia. Last week on a lark We bought a Ninja food processor. We really had not used the Ninja much until this weekend and now restarted really chopping things up. Dianne actually went to the store this afternoon and got celery, beets, kale, onions, ginger and some other things I can't remember. We don't them in the hopper and activated the machine. The Ninja made a great soundbut the vegetables remained motionlessIt was then we realized we did not have the blades inside the machine. Super sharp stainless steel ninja tools that slices and dices and shreds the vegetable matter to a drinkable consistency – – sort of.

We finally got the vegetables back in the hopper and turned the engine on again In the mass inside container dropped perceptibly. We had everything and it seemed like soon the vestal matter was reduced to a puréed consistency. What's that Ninja rendered was not necessarily drinkable but edible with the spoon sort of like salsa. In fact now I would really like to try making some sauce salsa and see what we come up with.

We even mowed the front yard. We have electric mower now and I like to go out and help Dianne or pretend to help help Dianne mow the yard .I hold The cord out of the way as Dianne mows the yard. The grass is long gone however weeds have taken over which look unsightly. So basically mowing dirt and scraggly plants. I'm sure I looked just darling holding the orange cord fading in out in a cloud of dust. Luckily the yard did not take long .

It was not spectacular Labor Day that's okay not doing that much labor these days anyway.

I Am Sorry I Doubted You

Me an older brother circa 1952 

I've spent most of my life terrified of the dentist. I think I have had good reason to be from my earliest memories a visit to the family dentist, Dr. Froggly, resulted in me biting his finger, only after he probed the cavity. Nevertheless I remember him lifted me out of the dental chair I must've been about five and marching me back to my motherAnd informing her that she would need to find another dentist because he was not going to work on me again. I think I may have found for five years before seeing another dentist. Now, at this terror the fact that I have an older brother loved to harass me anyway that he could. My brother is five years older than me and of course I thought he knew everything. Among the many half-truths he told me early on was about the dentist, when numbing my brothers mouth That something happened and the needle went into his eyes are felt like it did. My brother only told me this once but stuck with me all my life. Later in life I figured this was just another ploy my brother used to terrify me and to keep me in my place.

I have not really thought too much of this except when telling somebody of the trials and tribulations of my childhood. However, this did come to the forefront of my thoughts the other day when enduring my recent emergency extraction. I just gone through this extended exposure to nitric oxide – – again have no reason why I was subjected to this gas – – but I guess I was sufficiently “relaxed” and the oral surgeon came at me with the dreaded syringe. I'm rather proud of myself in that I've gotten used to the needle in the mouth routine when it comes to numbing my face. I've had good experiences with Drew Luke was done a masterful job of numbing my face over the last two decades. I mean hey disgThis guy's an oral surgeon he's got got to know what he's doing! The answer to the needle into the back of my mouth and delivered the payload And that was cool. I felt the “pinch” and then he attacked the top of my mouth on the right side, the site where the culprit tooth was to be extracted. The split-second feel as if the needle into my mouth had gone all the way up to my eye! The pain was instantly fleating then all was good. But in a flash I was transported back My older brother warning me about the dentist needle having it forced into my eye. And in that second I had to take back all those negative thoughts I had settled in with these last 60 years. I can see now how he would've or could've thought that the needle had gone into his – – after all he would've been about 10 years old to my five. So maybe, and this is what I really want to think and believe, he was just big brotherly watching out for me let me know what I needed to know.

I'm a little conflicted how to proceed; at first I was going to forgive him then I realized there's nothing to forgive you may have given me that information in good faith looking out for me. Maybe I should forgive myself For harboring negative feelings for so long. Maybe I should let it go to laugh and the silent thanks a little brother to a big brother. He really was looking out for me...or so I want to believe.

Did I Just Say?

Unbelievable! I just wrote 800 words in a blog about weblog about yesterday. I didn't even remember doing until I saw the post. Luckily this is been fairly productive week. Perhaps (aside from the emergency extraction) was the arrival of my glasses. Not that I needed a new pair I've been fairly pleased with the pair had gotten not long ago from a local vendor but I had the opportunity to get another set for the end of his insurance year so we figured why not?

Bridget had recommended to Dianne earlier this summer that she should consider getting a new set of glasses from Cosco – of all places.Bridget had just got set for her and that been totally pleased with the professionalism, convenience and cost as well as style of her glasses. Whoever thought to go to a big box store for glasses?

Oddly enough we were notified that my glasses were in the same day as my emergency extraction – – see yesterday's post. And I was feeling so good that I decided to go and pick them up. Which I did. I love them! I think they did a great job and I can't believe it was all done by Cosco at Cosco.

That was a nice little piece. Did you notice how just sort of walk away from the opening sentence about the blog post? I like to think just getting older but I'm losing some of my short-term memory like everybody else does it sometimes I think there is a dark feeling back there that says it's more than just aging. What if the dreaded Alzheimer's? It's not like I'm living in constant fear but it's moments like I just had that make me wonder sometimes what it? It's not like I have these events every day but there seems to be enough that I have to wonder sometimes so watch myself and hope against hope that whatever is next for me the cards is not the Alzheimer's card… Did I just say that?

Minor Miracle

This has been a very intense week started with Monday with the meeting with Elaine, an old friend from Boise. Then my Assist meeting On Tuesday then my dentist appointment yesterday and the arrival of my glasses at Costco Then actually going to pick the glasses up.

For the past couple of months and has weird sensation in my mouth. Sensation has not been a traditional toothache, But a sensation just the same that has been uncomfortable. And more importantly I did not want the sensation to progress past the uncomfortable stage. I talked to Dianne about oral sensation I was having and she encouraged me . to make the appointment. which I did. I was hoping the appointment would reveal a cavity which would easily failed but filled and be on my way. The appointment was set for 1030 on Wednesday morning.

I actually slept fairly well for the night before a dental appointment. I think I have grown out of my dental phobia at least it's not as severe as dental visits once were. Dianne drove me to Drew Luke's office. It was interesting when we got there to be met by the dentist and not his staff. Obviously, Drew opened the office by himself the staff was not there yet – –which I think he was a little pissed at least Irritated. It took a minute for him to find my file but eventually we got to the process looking at my teeth. Drew took a bunch of x-rays and finally informed me he found the problem. The tooth actually number two which is at the far end of my mouth, which has been filled with A number of times. But there was still decay and the doctor informed me they are talking a root canal or extraction. The root canal would be at least $1000 in extraction maybe 300. The position of the offender was not critical so the choice of Extraction was a no-brainer. I was okay with extraction. Dianne had the Dr.'s staff make the call to the oral surgeon to make the appointment. And I heard the time 12:40 PM. I assumed it would be a day or two about a week but I kind of freaked when I found the time was that same day just two hours away.

The oral surgeon was one I'd gone to a couple years ago when I was still working. I thought he did a great job and I did not anticipate any issues or problems with this iteration oral work. We tried to kill two hours productively but it was difficult. Dianne went to a world store close by and I figured I'd better eat before my whole life changed the next couple of days. I ended up going to the market that sold food and grab the last of the morning menu bacon cheese biscuit. The second terror I got that day was when I learned that I would not be put under for the procedure. On the previous extraction I had been mercifully put to sleep. I just figured it would be the same but I was wrong.

The assistant asked if I wanted laughing gas, Nitric oxide, and I was perplexed that was when I realized the doc was only going to use a local anesthetic!! I'd ever used nitric Oxide. She kept asking cause I kept having a weird look on my face until she finally said “I would use it” so said I yes and started pumping me with gas. Didn't really do anything for me I couldn't figure out why people wanted it so badly. Finally the doctor came in and gave me the shots. Here I should segue into the story of needles in the eye but I'll save that for another post Maybe sometime this month.The doc waited another 10 or 15 minutes And jumped into action. And before I knew it the tooth was gone no pain nothing just the cleanup and directions. There is minimal bleeding but I left with a big wad of cotton in my mouth icepack against my cheek and a handful of prescriptions.

He spent the remainder of the day watching television and waiting for the Novocain to wear off and the pain to begin…. I was still waiting, At 10 o'clock I went to bed I was still waiting I was still waiting I woke up this morning at 4 o'clock there is no pain! Another miracle my medical life.

Hello Frustration My Old Friend

I have recently entered into a number of fronts of dealing with service providers and I becoming totally frustrated with my catheter provider which is Edgepark Medical. I've been working with Edgepark for a couple years now they been excellent to work with. We made order said okay subscription and every month I would get a load of catheters just like clockwork. We are not sure what is happened except a lot of this issue has been at the same time I started Medicare. I sure hope it's not Medicare and all their rules and regulations but I have a suspicion that this might be the case. I also started new urologist and internist and I think this is also caused some major issues of confusion. So now it's just phone call after phone call to the same people who say they have done at least be done and the folks that control the spigot of what I mean refuse to turn it on. Dianne has counseled me to be patient and go slow and stay friendly which becomes difficult times – – I am running out of Catheters. I need to have a new order shipped.

I'm also waging a great battle of patients with my durable medical provider, again who I just changed in the last couple months, add to this the labyrinth Of Medicare and the confusion just increases the Waits take longer still. We been trying to get my new/old power chair repaired. This is included one physical therapist, one occupational therapist and a new durable medical salesperson. At one point it seemed good progress was being made then, it seems to me, my insurance ran out so that all the “good progress”. So now I'm trying to make contact with all the sources get some closure on whether or not I can get my chair repaired and how soon. Luckily I have been able to get by with what is left of my front end. Now, it's almost like I do not want to rock the boat for fear of how much longer I might need to wait and if Must wait will I have access to my power chair during that wait? I suppose I could get along in my manual chair which is pretty intimidating to think about. Going to my manual chair could not heard as I struggle to reach 98 kg of weight.

So far for me retirement has been inpatient stays, major surgical intervention and an ongoing struggle to make sure my benefits stay intact and that I am able to use those benefits. What is zoo! I'm going to have to go back to self advocacy 101 and make my representative at Medicare be my new best friend and make sure he/she is always thinking of me. I saw so far beyond that at this point my life to find out that once again I am at the beginning… Perhaps that's the way it should be.

Take Me Back

My brother and I at bath-time.

What is it with images more specifically photographs that can take you back to the moment that images taken. Sort of like the sense of smell you know like sometimes when you're prepared and all of a sudden you run into a fragrance that immediately teleports you to a timely have not been decades. Sometimes wet cement catapult me back to my house on Latah Street invoice you in the mid-50s. I would be down in the basement of my dad finish out the basement and our bedroom downstairs. He had to mix the cement and then poured on the floor later finish out the wall plaster. Although smells are triggered when I scored a poor water on cement and I smelled a result. Images do the same sometime. I see a look on my face and I know exactly what I was thinking that images take.

Back in July on the anniversary of my accident Dianne posted an image of me taken of me and they are transporting me right off the street into the ambulance. Ended up in the newspaper was quite graphic. Anyway, people have been interested in images of my youth since then. A couple years ago I was even doing “Flash back Friday” and I went uploaded image of my youth. It was quite favorably received by I got bored and only kept it going for a couple of months. However, I have once again been prompted to load images from my photo albums onto the hard drive. I don't know how wise that is sense hard drives can corrupt and mine usually do at some point. In fact my laptop is going through something currently which has me a little worried that since I have all kinds of capabilities i.e. the cloud and other backup scenarios I'm not too concerned. The major problem is having to go through my stock of images most of which are still anchored to pages in albums and afterwards the images turning to free radicals. It becomes an overwhelming challenge. Still, I think it's important and not to be too redundant of last week's posting about images of just say I am sneaking up on the project again.

What I'd like to do is develop a line of greeting cards made with images I have come across. A lot of them are kind of cute and would make great greeting cards if nothing more than just for family members. Because start off with five or 10 and see where I go to from their.

Every Picture Tells I Story

The other night I had a dream About all the images I have in my picture box. The picture box is a receptacle of all the images of my history before the rise of digital cameras. The dream woke me up really got me thinking. My mom is the one who put together what picture albums I have. And I'm totally indebted to her for this monumental work – – monumental not because she put together such a focused image album for me but she did this for all the kids in the family. There 10 of us in near as I can tell she's done the same for all. This is not one album I have two or three some in different states of disrepair and some that I've dismantled on purpose in order to retrieve images to scan onto the hard drive that I could use for posting and other bits of writing that I do. It's even more incredible is that on many of the images or pictures she is actually handwritten comments that describe the event. Some are somewhat silly but others I think are extremely valuable to try to cobble together a narrative of our family.

As I lay in bed trying to chase down just a little more sleep I kept thinking, there are a lot of images that are specific just to me. What is in the other kids albums? I would really be interested in seeing what's in their albums. There's gotta be a host of images I've never seen that's from the older kids early life before mom and dad married. The same is true with my younger brothers and sisters I wonder what images were taken them in their different school, church, athletic activities that I've never seen. I put together all kinds of thought projects that would establish a family center for all the images would be kept preferably online to where these images could be checked out, copied and used to their full potential's for whatever family members might want to do that.

Of course in the light of day dreams fade and perhaps that's best. There are a lot of undertones in my family's history – – mythology. However, I'm still fascinated when I come across images I've never seen before. As I looked in this last album that I got for my mother before she died, she had done a monumental not work together images of my dad and his family as well as her family and many of the kids especially older ones had never seen before. I wish I'd been able to access the trove of images that my mother worked from or at least the negatives before they're thrown away. That's truly what happened to all those images were tossed.

Rod Stewart sings “Every Picture Tells I Story” that's so true and what's also true is the story that area picture doesn't tell…

Lunch With My Buddy Frank

It's hard to believe that I've been separated from work for about two years now maybe a little bit longer. But I still feel close to the folks I work with at the DD Council. Actually are sort of felt close and I still sort of feel close to a lot of the folks I'd worked with in my career. Not that I think they feel as close as I do but I still like think of them as friends. Back in June 2008 I wrote a post about the new guy at work Frank. Frank was in the office next to mine and he was a guy or is a guy. This is important since I was the only guy at the office for a long time to have an Frank there was great support. We actually became quite close over the time I worked at the office. Frank is significantly older than I sort of looked towards him as a role model. Frank had been a Fedally(I'm taking on guess at that spelling). Frank's a solid guy plus he's got good hair and remember several days even better than I.

I like Frank. And I've kept contact with Frank over the years since I've separated or retired from the office. I also do with the other staff Frank and I sort of just go together. He is wailed to be working actually. He should be retired and joined his life but things haven't gone the way that they would should of for the guy and so is working is working okay taking care of the people at the same time. But he is getting older than his age is beginning to show itself has to take it easy a little bit. I try to get together with Frank as often as I can or go to and as often as I dare. I don't want to wear out the friendship. They usually stop by the office perhaps once a quarter after one of my meetings downtown we wander over to the mall and grab something to eat and then just talk. I should insert that Frank gets to the office early and I always used to get to the office early so we always had 45 minutes to an hour to speak before work or other staff got to the office. We got to know each other pretty good. Frank is a good direction. He's well-versed in money matters where I am not. Gets me to think about things I need to think about and encourages me to be better than I am. He seems to care for me and I appreciate that. I wish him well. But he like the rest of the staff and some of my other friends, who were older than I, are really begin to experience the effects of old age. I wish that were not the case but it is. Our old boss has some sort of her thing going on and she's getting to the point where she's a bit touch and go – – doing less than having to probably make some decisions in the near future regarding her employment. She's real close to my age.

Going back to the office in many ways feels like going home sometimes. Whether it's wise I don't know but many times the people at my office that felt like family and you always hate to see family go. But until then I'm going to continue having lunch with Frank even if he doesn't pick up the tab – – but he usually does. Frank has style much more style than I do. So hang in there Frank you the best meal ticket I've got.

Gift Card Dilemma

One of the constants that I rely on is that one of my kids will give me a gift card to Amazon whatever the holiday might be. Christmas, birthday, Father's Day whatever holiday I can look forward to a gift card. This Father's Day was no exception Mark A came through with a gift card. 20 bucks! Not a windfall but enough to have a couple books are memory card or something. It usually comes as an electronic card and that's cool. I just hold on to it when I need is there. This year about the same time I was notified by Amazon that I had received eight or nine dollars as being part of a class-action lawsuit against Apple Inc. and their conspiracy trial. Amazon just informed me that the dollars have been put into my account which I can spend any time I wished. In the meantime of course I inadvertently deleted marks email with the gift card and more importantly the gift card number. Things are busy of course that the big couple weeks to get together the point of calling Mark and asking him to resend the card which he did. So I had $20 on the gift card plus the money I had on the refund from Apple that came to about $33. Inadvertently again I just added one card to the other gift card and in the meantime somehow lost the numbers or the numbers wouldn't work. This was a frustration I tried to download a number of books but I just couldn't get Amazon to recognize my credits. Finally I figured I just better get to the bottom of the whole thing called customer support. This is where I realized Amazon does not make it easy to find their customer support number it literally took me days and emails but finally I got a number and I called. Of course I got a hold of some third world call room and an operator who had fairly good English skills but still it was a challenge conveying to that person but my needs were. In fact at one point I lost contact with the individual entirely and I thought he'd hung up and this is after about 30 minutes of conversation. I really just figured it had enough and broke the connection. I can't say that I was angry or even frustrated figuring this was par for the course and I would have to deal with this again on another day. Imagine my surprise when my phone rang and I saw that it was a call from Washington state and I grabbed the call and it was the operator who actually called me back! I couldn't believe it. I was so impressed I was beside myself so we continued the call and basically he was passing me off to somebody a Kindle phone central. But he cared enough to call back to call me at my home I did not know he had my number.

The operator Kindle was also great and prematurely for the most part. He at least figured out how I could access my balance to use on further Kindle or Amazon purchases this was great. He also assisted me with the purchase of the volume I was interested in. The only problem was she did not download the volume directly to my tablet but placed it in the online library of mine which I figured I could go back and access and download the volume to where I wanted but that is not been the case. I cannot find my on line library. Which I am frightened the mean another call to Kindle to have them talk me through or maybe just drop down to Best Buy and ask one of their techs to help me find my book. It shouldn't be this hard but I'm just happy to have I am just happy to have 30 more dollars to spend and a way to spend it.

A Dirty Rotten Shame

I miss sleeping outside. I miss sleeping outside during the summer. I used to love digging out the old sleeping bag and strapping it to the back of my JC Higgins bicycle, one speed, and then pumping over to the best friends place in sleeping out under the giant willow tree of his grandparents. They were one of those families, originally from the South, where the extended family all live together – – not the same house but on the same property. I thought that was so cool that they had their grandparents living right next door and they were just part of the family. Anyway, this was all situated on a small farm. It was fairly rural area but the city or urban creep is fastly taking over that part of the town. We live to further south and our farm was a little more rural than John Tom's.

We would go over to their house after our chores were done: the cows watered,Cows milked and equipment washed in milk put away. Then we were free. You watch TV at that place – – they had the only color TV I had ever seen and I was totally amazed. We would go back to the camp when the news that start around 10 o'clock in bed down for the night at least that's what we told their parents. July and August of course were hot not only the days but the nights as well. Afterward given sufficient time to have the parents believe that we were sleeping we would get up and walk out on the road in front of their house. The road was asphalt in the tar would be spongy from the heat of the day. If you stood in one place you would actually sink a little bit into the asphalt. On the newer asphalt further up from the house we would lay down on the street and feel the warmth of the day this was great. We often wandered a couple hours then it was back to the campsite Where we would turn in for the night. At the crack of dawn we were up and on lucky days we are allowed to make a fire. And Mrs. C would provide us with bacon and eggs in a cooked our own breakfast it was great. On alternate weekends we would have the same adventure but on our farm. We had a standard live in trees on the far end of our property very often pitched our camp. It was fun but nothing is elegant as camping at the Cantrell's.

As I roll back and forth to the bus or the train to pass all these homes that would have wonderful places to spend the night, or have asleep out. I don't think kids can do that anymore at least like we used to. I don't see kids pack and sleeping bags back and forth in the evenings going to a friends house to spend the night. That's shame a dirty rotten shame

Busy Busy

Not that It's been a busy week, really just two days that I had to be out on the tarmac but it feels like it's been a busy week as I close in on Friday. Yesterday I had to do some power chair rehab. Don't know why but my front casters Have gotten quite chewed up recently and I figured I'd better get them changed out before they completely disintegrated. I had hoped that my physical therapist and occupational therapist would have put the pressure on my DME to fet the repairs done on my chair which included new casters but of course that did not happen.

It set the appointment for 10 o'clock which I know is early but I figured I could get up early enough to figure out the bus situation gets there in time for my appointment. I was pleased at how well my transit went. Unlike day before yesterday which I took the long way around this time I took the train up to four S. then migrated over to the bus stop which took me straight into Cheyenne about a block and a half for where I need to go. So I got there with about 45 minutes to spare.

CREATE is one of those weird quasi-state institutions. It's a program which was developed out of a think tank in northern Utah at Utah State University. The attached the program to a state facility: Vocational Rehabilitation. I use them as much like can. When is working with the State I got a lot more perks that I get now but I had a closer friend running the program. So let's call them still do the deal. The program is not ran by a guy named Tom. Tom is okay just a little anxious to get his program off the ground. He's actually done a good job with the program that he inherited. You really want to talk to me about my old program Access Utah Network. He really wanted to know about the program and if some format of that project could get started again with a focus Toward assistive technology are A T. It would be a very complicated project and he is thinking it might be able to be accomplished with part-time staff and or volunteer. I was a little bit disenchanted I was hoping for more involvement. I suppose I could volunteer to volunteer, boy that would be working to close to the enemy. But again something needs to be done there really needs to be some sort of information base that people can call: consumers, professionals and medical professionals. Because right now everyone is just out there twisting in the wind.

On the phone Tom quoted me $30 for the job to be done. I was really hoping that with all the talking Tom did and then all the information I gave that he would give me some server break on the Castor replacement but that was not to be. In fact was 30 bucks ended up being 60. And then he invoiced me because they don't do credit cards. Totally amazing. So it turned out that he replaced all four casters at $15 a piece and I suppose that's a deal. Hopefully, if the repairs on the chair ever do get approved I'll go ahead and get new casters and put these on back shelf for backup. Like I said even though I'm it does not look like I've done a lot it feels like it's been a busy week.