Broadcast Day

this is not me!!




























































We did another broadcast today--again the interview turned out better then I would have expected. I should be more animated though. Quiet day though My weekend starts shortly. Here are images from my week.

If you're interested in seethe broadcast go to the website or link below.


http://www.ustream.tv/channel/access-utah--now

De Niro

Yesterday I was sitting in my office and actually having a pretty good day for getting up at 3:30 a.m.—not knowing I had gotten up an hour before I usually do—when my old boss C. came into my office. She was the person who hired me for the position I am in now. She her position her as executive director went back to school and finished her PhD and now is a professor type at the local university. In fact she teaches a disability studies course which is pretty cool. The class is a graduate level class, small and populated by seven or ten focused little graduate students all seeking to make a difference.

In fact, back in October C. asked that I come and present to her class. I figured “why not”. There is not better shot in the arm then yammering in front of a bunch of folks who think you know it all. This stroking is really enough for me, getting to talk about myself. But when the class was over and I was preparing to leave C. in passing mentions that she has a small budget to pay for stipends for guest lectures. I assured her that was nice, and filthy lucre would be nice but really playing professor was enough for me. But know when some drops a bomb like “ we can pay you a little” it starts working on you. C. said she would have to submit the “request for payment” and the University would send the check in a couple of weeks but if I did not get money. I just sort of blew it all off until It got closer to the holidays and extra funding would be appreciated.. I saw C. once or twice over the holidays and subtly hinted that I had not received anything and I would not ask but hey we’re in the middle of recession and so… And again nothing happened an I survived the holidays and wrote off any compensation as a good like in graduate class is payment enough.

So I was more then pleasantly surprised when C. came into the office and handed me an envelope she said had been riding in the bottom of her purse for a couple months turned round and left. The envelope was an official University envelope with my name scrawled across the front. The envelope slightly bulged. Payola!

Sure enough, I tore the envelope open and there were three bills two twenties and a ten. Fifty bucks, cash, salad, de niro! It seem strange though cash, waded up cash, like cash which had been in a purse and pulled out and stuffed in a office envelope and given to someone who thinks their owed. Dianne thinks I am being set up and that is why the cash. I doubt it. I think that perhaps there really never was a stipend or if there was it was taken back or something leaving C. holding the bag and to stop me from asking, everytime she sees me, she thought ‘what the heck’ ergo the cash. No nice crisp check with all the tracking stuff on the attached page. So, I have been paid. I’m happy. I spent most of the “pay off” at my very local Office Depot( which is going out of business). Before C. hurriedly left my office after dropping off the envelope she asked if I would sit on a panel in a couple of week. Sure…no problem.

We are doing another broadcast of Access Utah Now this Thursday and I have just sent out a copy of the February Quantum the e-newsletter of Access Utah Now. I made a gigantic list of names in my address book of folk I think would be interested and blasted it out—the list is a little over three hundred names and growing. I am finding I am finding I am sending a message down the list a couple of time a month, once before each broadcast and when I send out a new copy of the Quantum. So far I have got a couple of emails from people either demanding how I got their email or to have their name stricken from our list

I guess I cannot blame not blame them as much as I have bitched and moaned about getting “forwards” from people I know who send them out by the hundreds and I suppose these folk see these announcements showing up in their “In Box” as a form of junk mail. But I doubt I will stop sending out the announcements. Sure I’ll remove the names from the list when they request but that is all.

The snow fell during the night as I came to work from the Planetarium Station I was able to get this image. I liked it.

The Right Thing To Do

Remember the loaner chair I borrowed from the Utah Independent Living Center? The chair which I ended up taking the top part off and putting my seating system on has been working very good, actually like a dream after I got used to the slower speed and remembered to buckle myself in, every time I use it. Last week I for some reason I remembered that the chair which died on me, my chair which I left at Magic Rest still had my new set of batteries in it, the batteries I had to wait till the end of Summer so my insurance would purchase them some thing ling $200.00!! I called Magic Rest and sure they still had my batteries and the pulled them and load tested the batteries and they reported the batteries were still charging at 70%. We made an appointment for Saturday, today to have me stop by the shop and have the boys switch out the chores.

The doomsday weatherologist reported last night the skies today would be grey and weepy rainy all weekend long so I was a little surprised when I left the house and there were clouds but the temperatures were spring like with patches of blue. I am sure it was just the heat of the new cold front “pushing” it’s way in but the warm air felt good. I was totally surprised when I got to the shop and the traded the batteries right there in my van in about ten minutes they were going to give me the batteries but those batteries were not mine—and the batteries they pulled out of my chair were new batteries, newer then my batteries. Those batteries were the Center’s. I told them to hold on to them and I would have someone from the center pick them up next week.

I should have kept them, the batteries. You can always use a second pair of batteries, back up batteries. Oh when I was there I noticed Brent the sales guy was in and I asked him about my new chair, had he heard anything—and he had. My new chair should be in town the end of next week!!! I cannot believe it my wait is about over. Now I have to seriously think about the $2,000.00 which will be my responsibility. This makes me a little nervous. So I will have new batteries when the chair comes, brand new cores, and I will have these 70% cores which I am riding on now and I feel it is just right to make sure the batteries which came with the loaner go back to the Center. Really, I am not that much of a good guy it just seems like the right thing to do.

Cloudy Afternoon

It’s Thursday/Friday, the last two hours of our ten hour/four day week and Monday was a holiday and I really am glad he weekend is here got me. Today has been a light day as I have watched a storm struggle to make its way into the Wasatch Front and scrub some of filthy atmosphere out of the City. I was able escape the office a little while after lunch—I was invited to a “focus group” for the Salt Lake Arts Council—hosted by VSA of Utah—no food just bottles of water in the new trendy art space of Art Access, a private non-profit I have been loosely affiliated with for them pas twenty years. Art Space is lack of better words Salt Lake’s art colony. Creative types with lots of political mojo wrote some grants, reclaimed a warehouse from the industrial district the city fathers are trying to bootstrap, clear the bums out, fumigate, paint and build some lofts. A perfect art space.

VSA of Utah Art Access is the Utah affiliate of Very Special Arts, the touchy feely non-profit maintained my the Kennedy Foundation. Bringing art to the crips is what they do. Yeah I know I’m cynical of these guys its hard not to but I have to admit I have been one over by VSA even if I still gag on their use of “Very Special” in their title. In another life I started an acting company and Art Access hosted the acting company and put on the plays we produced that I wrote. Art Access published my writing on a regular basis, every time they published their yearly offering Desert Wanderings. Lori, a good friend of mine, was the editor and she always make sure I had space if I had something to publish. It was cool, she even bought my work, it was not much but $30-$40.00 for q couple pieces of poetry and the write to say I have published work and not be lying and when Art Access would publish the volume Art Access always had an open house, where wine was served along with cheese and crackers. The press was invited and the opening was held during the monthly “gallery stroll” and I was expected to read selections. I even wore a black turtleneck and a sports jacket all I needed was a pipe and elbow patches. Heck, I even met a writer for the local news paper, we became close friends who has even done some fairly extensive stories on me. Again, I know it more then hokey buy this kind of attention feels good so I don’t have a problem when Ruth Lubbers calls ad needs people to sit in on a focus group now and then to show her board or another agency like the Salt lake Arts Council, they are reaching out to all the community in order to keep their funding money coming in. After all it’s Thursday afternoon, and gets me out of the office, its light duty—I’m here taking calls and not a whole lot else.

Somehting's Wrong Here

Something has changed on my system here at the office and I cannot figure out what the problem is. But somehow the computer has stopped showing my quicktime films and somehow not being able to view the Q-times is messing up being able to download the broadcasts I have been doing with Ustream.tv. I have been down loading a lot of programs especially programs for things like converting video from one format to another and a couple of months I got rid of Quicktime in a fit of anger and after a couple weeks after I had cooled down I tried to re-install Quicktime but now QT would not load unless I have the dreaded Windows XP Service Pack II. I really don’t know how many times I have tried to install this patch or whatever Service Pack is but my system has never recognized the software and I can no longer run Quick-time movies. This non-file recognition has not been a problem until this morning when I tried to view a couple clips I took on my way into work and all I got from the play back was the audio and audio is so lame after one has had video. What really worries me and my mind always comes back to the thought is I may have down loaded a virus which is slowly occluding my system from working the way it should. I also worry that if in fact my system is infected I will have to call state IT in and the will have to “nuke” my system and start over. Not only is this time consuming but also way embarrassing.

I Just forgot

The black line on the left side of the image is my course of travel and where that lack line ends is where we collided!!


Thursday I stayed late since I had to close up, everyone was gone leaving on vacation for the four day holiday or just gone. I was in pain too long on the old butt. I had to get home. The train was mercifully quite as I road home reading or trying to read. When I go off the train I immediately headed for home. I may have described this before but when I get off the get off the train at 6400 South and 300 West I have to travel North on 300 West and the first half a block or so has not been developed, there is no sidewalk meaning I am having to roll, facing traffic on the side of the road. Now add to this an undeveloped train commuter parking area. So there are always a handful of commuters who de-board along with me but since they re able bodied they just cut across the tracks and across the 300 West to their vehicles and head for the street where I have to go all the way to the corner an start my home commute along the side of the road. There is also a drive way to 300 West on the North end of this commuter parking area. There is where people heading North from the parking area will merge with Northbound traffic on 300 West.

So Thursday night, I am bundled in my great white jacket with my hood up looking straight ahead, belted in and heading North. It takes a little skill to keep the power chair on the edge of the paved street and keep out of the way of on coming traffic. So I note but do not pay much attention as I approach the drive way from the parking area. I since a care and I can see the highway illuminated in front of me and I figure it is just one of the commuters—now, here I must take responsibility and admit I should have stopped my forward progress and looked for traffic but I did not. I just kept pushing forward. The illumination increased again I figured this was traffic getting ready to merge—no problem and continued on an then I felt a nudge and looked down to see the bumper of a car pushing my the left side of my power chair to the right an I thought, surly now they will see me and stop-the car did not and continued o move forward and I kept being pushed to my right and I then knew she s not going to stop and I was BEING RUN OVER!!! Then I got pissed and all I could think of doing as hitting the hood as har as I could, it was certainly close enough. So I raise my hand and came down as fast and hard as I could. I cannot remember hearing the sound of the impact of my hand striking the hood but it must have worked because the car jerked to a halt and I sped on my way. A second later a car pulled along side of me and a twenty something jumped out asking if I as OK. I nodded I was OK—and I did not hurt anywhere to speak of so I did not engage her further then that. I could tell she was spooked though she had come pretty close to wrecking her holiday weekend and mine too for that matter.

The next day I was sore but I am sure the soreness was from muscle tensing and I am OK now. I just hope this is as close to getting run over again I come in a long while.

Kicking Back

My butt feels much better today, but it’s early but I am thinking maybe the time off and attention to the wound this weekend, this long holiday weekend. That’s it though, I suspect those of you who are reading and following this blog are getting sick and tired of getting the low down on my anatomy, I plan to move on now and get on with healing a and reporting my life. But keep in mind as an aging crip I am deeply concerned as to my physical condition and living life as I can as independently and free of physical pain and strain of all sorts as I can. So a wound anywhere on me will get good play in this blog.

It’s a holiday today and I am home and enjoying the day. We are making ham and lima bean soup and just laying low. The sun is out and Salt Lake is deep into inversion the day looks nice ,even warm but the atmosphere is dangerously dirty to breath and the inversion causes the temperature to be much lower here on the valley floor where the temperature will struggle to get out of the thirties up above the inversion in places like Park City the temps will rise into the forty’s and maybe even higher mixed with much cleaner air. I would like to go out but there really is nothing to do except get cold. So I am sitting by my window looking out on the street which runs past my home.

Not Fast Enough

I was hoping that my butt would be feeling better with all the time I have been off it this weekend but I don’t think the healing process is happening as quick as I want the healing to. I have tomorrow off for the holiday but come Tuesday, I am back in the saddle and I will be driving my hair into work and , I feel, is really going to stress the old butt. So I guess it is time to head back to the wound unit to get their input. Going back to the wound clinic spooks the hell out of me but I have to have the situation looked at and get the wound under control and get some more resources. The last time we went, the clinic gave us these really great bandages and were supposed to have a guy follow up but he has never followed through. Dianne is hoping that when the new wheelchair arrives a new cushion will come with it and the new cushion will offer a lot relief. I am too.

Lay Down and Take A Load Off

I am up today. I forced myself to say in bed all day yesterday to relieve pressure off my rear end. The old wound, I have, refuses to heal. /actually Dianne says the wound has healed but now has broken down again. Not big and not bad…yet, but needs to have attention one way or the other.

As I have discussed in the past I have had wounds before right after my accident I had a few decubes and these wounds were heart breaking for me but taught me valuable lessons as far as skin maintenance and a healthy distain for anything which might put me to bed for days if not weeks at a time. Am just plain fortunate, I think I have skin which fight pressures sore anyway did for forty some years which re really the time I have gone between skin breakdowns and I probably have been pretty irresponsible with my skin care .

I don’t know about other gimps but I strongly suspect most feel as I do: anything which limits your mobility is greatly feared. I have visited with a couple of caller at Access Utah Network who call, especially when they have had a skin breakdown and just need someone to talk to. These folk have serious breakdowns which could kill them if they don’t take care of the condition; they’re in bed months years at a time and a couple have even died. To me skin breakdown is right up there with kidney infection which will really make me change my life style and start taking care of myself. And the best way to care for myself now is to take the time and get off my butt. I hate to be down though. I believe it has something to do with my perceived mortality or just having to be trapped in bed and watch the world and history go by and me not being part of it.

So Thursday night when I went to bed Dianne let me know the skin had finally broke and a wound, small, was present. The depression waved over me and I looked at a ruined weekend, and a holiday weekend at that. But I also decided to take the problem in hand and fight the issue even if fighting the issue meant staying in bed all weekend along in order to be well enough to be up and go to work Tuesday morning. It took a while to accept this new maybe proactive approach to taking care of myself. So after rising yesterday, shaving making a quick breakfast so as to take my meds I returned to be where I stayed the remainder of the day. The day was not bad, I really need to move the TV to where I can see it better. As it is the TV is behind me and I have to turn over in bed to watch which is not really comfortable or practicable, but I did it. I was down all day and last night when Dianne checked my butt indicated the would was looking this morning better, the same for this morning’s check. So, I am thinking maybe I will be up only part of the day and hopefully I can handle this outbreak with out going into the wound unit.

Smooth Operator

One of the cool things my boss does when she is free of meetings in or out of the office is surf the net and that’s cool she surfs the net in the line of work, not like me, IF I were to surf the net. My boss actually finds material about people and programs influencing people with disabilities. Earlier this week I got a forward from the boss which she found, I guess it was sent to her by the county mayor’s office with a link to a clip about Nick Vujicic, a little born again, Australian trolling for souls on the Pacific. When I first played the clip I figured the boss just got pulled in by another super crip easy to do when you have un dying faith in your common man/person.

Nick Vujicic has no arms or legs, actually he has some sort of appendage(which probably should have been a leg, in another dimension but not in this one and he I able to use the appendage very effectively. He is smart, good looking head, has an Australian accent, and really knows how to work a crowd. I could also say he has Christ as a brother in his back pocket but I won’t because I am trying to be impartial and not as cynical as I usually am. He is a charmer and somewhere along the line her learned that he can control the crowd with a wink and a smile and a good story and giving the world permission to stare at him, better yet even hug him. What a deal. I have a friend who is similar but has enough body parts that he drives and gets along pretty good independently. My friend is a federallie working for HUD. Brian is a Quaker and is not out their like Nick, bearing his testimony every time he turns around. Brian does good works because that is what people do for their fellow man/persons. I think inherently Nick is too but he is also a hustler hustling for God. Now, I am going to tell you something I want you to keep secret at all cost, don’t tell anyone because if you do my tough guy rep is in serious jeopardy, but the little squirmer got to me!! Not his born again, I am saved and I am going to save you but the motivational, I can do it, I did it and so can you; that part where he falls over like a great tree and whistles when he goes down and then pops himself back up. It is so hokey that it’s impressive. Check him out http://www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html

Good News Bad News

I got the call yesterday afternoon, my durable medical guy called and informed me that my insurance approved my mew power wheelchair!!! We had gone through and eliminated a number of the features I had planned to get on the chair like the six inch seat elevator. I think that item alone was something like $10,000.00! I mean really, how many parade do I go to in an years time and I can always ask someone at the market to hand me down the olives on the top shelf. So the chair I am getting will have the large motors which will give a lot more speed, the speed I need for getting back and forth to my train station, implanted tires so I will be “flat free” and tilt in place seat, allowing me to shift the weight off of my butt(very important feature). That’s the good news, the bad news is my portion of the purchase will be $2,000.00. I better start looking for a dish washing job or something.

Tick, Tick, Tick

Seconds. Life is made up of seconds. There is not better example of this then missing my train into the city by just this morning I seemed to be running late from the minute I woke and found I had over slept by seven or eight minutes and that seven minutes haunted me all the way the to the office where I was a good fifteen minutes late just due to seconds. And it was not just the seven minutes late getting up, it as also the transfer from my manual wheelchair to the power chair and my foot slipped off the foot plate of my jazzy causing me to almost slip to the floor, I hooked my arm round the back handle of the power chair and muscled myself back into me power chair but that seemed to take for ever and like totally drained myself of energy. Even drained I crawled into my huge white coat , grabbed my back pack, watch cap and glove and headed out the door trying to make time. As I passed the ancients I noticed they had not picked up their newspaper from the drive way so I grabbed the paper and threw it on their back porch and used the bumper of Al’s pick up to push myself up straight in my chair. Then I shot out the driveway out on to the street, seconds, ticking seconds. I was on the street heading to the corner when I realized I had not strapped in. Yes, I am strapping in all the time now, especially since I was thrown out of my chair this Christmas season and it two guys and a hernia to get me back into my chair. So I blew another five minutes if not longer trying to 1) find my safety belt and two freeing my safety belt from the tangle of my chair and finally secure myself in to the chair and be on my way but all the time seconds, seconds adding to minutes.

By the time I got to the train stop my regular train had left the station and the next train had also just barely left. I was going to have to wait at least another ten minutes before the next train would come. As I was sitting another passenger who it seems also missed the same train approached me and started a conversation about having to wait for the next and how that will make her being late will make her miss the heavy rail train up North to her job. We talked she was nice, we talked about disability, she is a recreation therapist. Then my stop came and she asked the question, “would you like to make extra money?” “ Sure who wouldn’t” and then she thrust a card into my hands as I drove my chair off the train at my stop. The card read something about Teambuilders when I got to the office I r an the information through Google and found this organization was just another front for Amway—I did not think Amway was even still round, but Amway what kind of person does that to a stranger? Amway. I cannot believe I got Amwayed. My multi-level sensors must be getting old like me. I am usually pretty good at staving these kind of vampires off.

Sunday Considerations

There is a spot when transferring from the wheelchair to some place else which is the go for broke spot, the place where one has to shift their weight or lift their weight from one point to the next. If one does not commit to this shift they whether have to fall back to bed to re-group or end up on the floor or worse. I sat on the edge of my bed this morning for at least twenty minutes as I tried to make the transfer from bed to my manual wheelchair. I couldn’t try as I may, I had the strength but the wheelchair I was transferring to would just not stay still. Every time I would try to shift my weight the wheelchair chair would move enough for me to realize if I continued on with the shift the chair would slide and I would be on the floor. This is new behavior for me. I have felt it coming on and I cannot pinpoint what the problem is. I suspect or I want to believe the problem is with my equipment. The wheelchair is an old quickie, the brakes are poor and light weight. I have had Dianne keep the tires pumped up so the brakes will bite fairly well but the floor is pretty slippery and even if I have the strength to do the lift and transfer if the chair will not hold sill I am still on the floor.

So what am I going to do? If this continues sure enough I am going to wind up on the floor, and Dianne will not be able to get me back on the bed or on the chair then it’s a call to Gabe, Mark A or 911 and get the firemen over to get the old codger back in his chair. Once when this happens its OK, the fire guys smile and are glad to help-it’s their job. If it happens again in short succession then they look concerned and ask you to be careful, and three times then you get a call from Adult Protective Services—the Gestapo with a heart or so they would like to have you believe. Three strikes and you are out and you get three strikes if nothing more serious happens like what if I fall and on the way down I land on my arm and break am arm. I think then I would have to consider the long term care facility a.k.a. nursing home; at least until I could get rehabed to the point of returning to my home if the care facility did not kill me first.

It’s happening I am growing old before my very eyes. I am going to grow old as gracefully as I can but I have a feeling the process will not be pretty. I just spoke with my mom, who is old and who is living in a long term care facility and we both concur that any day that we both get through is a good day and a day to be thankful for.

Doubt

Dianne dropped the van off at the cousin’s on Tuesday and there it stayed the rest of the week. I purposely did not even think of the van being thankful that I had the ‘loaner’ chair from the Center, and the huge white ‘rapper’ jacket and the train to get me back and forth from work. Luckily I had done the shopping last Saturday. Dianne got stranded durning thr snow storm on Monday but after that with the van gone she was OK to stay home and wait for the repair. On Wednesday after I am beginning to get nervous since I have not heard a word from Dianne of the Cousin so I call and find they have not really looked at the vehicle yet but they were sure to “get it in and would have something for me on Thursday.” When I called Thursday it was very close to the same discussion except they had looked at the van by then but really could not find anything wrong but they were going to take it out on the Interstate and “shakeit down” and see what they can find. Again, all this is cool since I am doing great with the power chair, the snow has finally stopped and high pressure is building. I should be just fine

Its funny when I have the van I really don’t go anywhere except for shopping and other events I cannot get out of. I hardly do of anything elective. But as the morning at work on Thursday( Thursday Friday since I am a State worker), Chapman asked me a couple of times what I going to do on the weekend and each time I would actually telling her something Dianne and I might do or something that we might like to do only to be jolted into reality by the memory that I am not doing anything since I don’t have a vehicle the runs. We are staying in and at best watching cable/direct tv.

Friday morning, yesterday, broke with blue skies and sunshine. I felt pretty good. We made a great ham and egg breakfast and I cleaned up and got ready for the day. I finally called the Cousin for the news and get this the cuz and his minions could find nothing wrong with the van! The battery is charging just fine and everything else, except for a leak here and there ( which I already knew about). “So just watch the vehicle and call us when and if the behavior shows itself again. So I suited up and drove my power chair down to the shop where we had the discussion all over again, with my interjections of what happened and the frustration of know the behavior would happen again at the least opportune time. How can these people say this when I am sitting there writing out a check for nothing. The tow truck was $55.00 and the examination was $45.00 a hundred buck for nothing and you know what I know I am going to get to so it all again. For the record I think I am losing or have lost my alternator. I just hope this comes out the next time and I get a vehicle I can depend on.

I Converted

My quest is nearly complete. I have been searching all week, actually since last December, when I accidentally deleted my last broadcast, for software which can convert FLV files to any file that You Tube or video editor can read. The broadcast was done on my Ustream.tv account and when I was trying to replace the broadcast with a copy that I had fortunately made of the broadcast and saved to my hard drive, I found one piece of software which would broadcast the file as a new broadcast. I tried to just publish the broadcast to my Youtube account but found out my file was too big. I then thought I could cut the broadcast into three segments—awkward but doable but I could not find an editor which would read the file to cut up. I am going to have to convert the file from a FLV which is a flash-video designator to something like AVI, mpeg, mpeg 4 or what ever.
I finally found a converter which was not too silly, oh it is silly enough. The gimmick is has to force a person to register (buy) the product is this converter just converts the first 20 minutes file and the software converts very well.

I of course want to convert the complete file, that only make sense, there fore I have to register the software which is $27.00which is not a bad price—but if I am careful from here on out I won’t need to use the software. Chapman, my work partner, wants to find a super duper piece of software which will do everything especially from a video editing point of view, which would be handy but by the time do all the checking and frogging round we will have wasted a ton of time and not got anything accomplished. Anyway, here it the twenty minute version.

WWJND

I am still fretting about Don Juan out in the hall an all the blessing I could have reaped over the Christmas season, just past. Not that I am an opportunist, which I guess I probably am but now the Christmas season is past Don Juan hasn’t. He’s still out in the hallway just on the other side of the door leading into our office. Don Juan is out there everyday like clockwork, like a job. He is a greeter, he comes up to everyone and smiles, says a few words , in some cases shakes their hands and he even may hand them something. Keep in mind these people, Don Juan is “greeting”, are folks in line to the Mexican Consulate. Don Juan works the crowd like a pro. Today was a good day. I noticed that his odor was not nearly as strong as it has been. Staff here at my office think he is homeless and living at the men’s shelter a couple of block from out building. It is common knowledge the local men’s shelter turns all it’s guests out every morning at 7:00or 8:00 a.m. and their not allowed back until later afternoon, the idea being these guys or either out looking for work or actually working and the poor souls who are not working or actively looking for work must then wander the streets until they an get back into the shelter. In good weather these souls have congregated in the park, close by but when the weather turns foul and the temperature dives to deadly realms these poor souls must a means of survival. Somewhere along the way Don Juan has found out building. I have noticed the last two days a couple of other Hispanic males, who don’t look as good as Don Juan but seem committed to our building. FNG(Frank the New Guy) says these guys sometimes sleep in the stairwells of our building; these stair wells are not heated but better then being out in the snow for six to eight hours.

OK so, what can I do—when the good Samaritan picked up the robbed and stripped guy and carried him to inn and set him up until he as OK. The Samaritan did not seem to care if the was a habitual looser getting drunk and beat up time after time like helping Don Juan by giving him $5.00 and Don making a bee line to the 711m for Smokes and the State glass house for a fifth of hooch. What would Jesus do then—how many times would he give Don Juan a fiver, a job, maybe even a blanket and a bar of soap. How do I approach Don Juan I am pretty sure he barely understands English but I get the sense that he likes me. He always greets me and tries to find things he thinks he can do for me—what if I give him a five and old coot “adopts” me wanting to sleep under my desk like a service animal.—wow!!! What an idea, what if I would get Don Juan a green card then have him be my service animal(that really sounds cold)…really WWJND( what would jeasus NOT do)

What Now??

Yesterday, I left you all with me getting a list of items which Dianne needed at the market, a simple zip out to the van, zip to the market and back . I wish that was how things had went but no a few zips turned into a fairly challenging afternoon. I got out and in the van, fully loaded, out of my chair into the drivers seat( no problem) but when I turned the key over there was only shudder of a hint of power, but nowhere near enough energy to crank the old van into life. I was not very surprised since the temperatures have been so cold and I know enough about batteries to know severe cold can bring out the worst in batteries an if a battery IS going to go the battery will go then. I had enough energy left to honk the horn and Anakah came out and I sent her cross the street to Dan the neighbor. Who came right over and jumped the van and it took off but had to be jumped again when I put the van in gear and ite instantly died and would not start at all. Dan did the job again noting that the meter was indicating that the engine was not charging the battery and it looked like I had a bad alternator- and I should drive right over to Sears and have them check the vehicle out. I should have but I didn’t. Instead I ran the engine for about twenty minutes in an effort to charge the battery. As I was doing running the engine I noticed the motor started running really rough backfiring and making all kinds off odd and weird noises; almost as if the timing was off. In fact at one point I had to keep gunning the engine in order to just keep the engine from stalling. At one point I turned on them heater and the engine almost expired right then but with more gassing the engine I managed to keep the engine going. I don’t know why, maybe just morbid curiosity I turned on the heater/blower again and the same behavior but the third time I did it something happened and he engine immediately settled down and ran smooth as ice. I slipped the transmission in and out of gear a couple time: no problem. I decided to take the chance an drove over to the market the long way—trying to charge the battery as much as I could.

I rushed through my shopping at the market and having left my lift down, to ensure no one parked too close for me to load when I wanted to go, I was relieved when the lift raised me without issue up to the van and I turned the key, the van jumped to life and I was able to get home without issue. Dianne had a doctors appointment this morning. When she started the van to go it started right up ! It was only when she tried to return home the battery acted like it was dead. She got a jump, then had to get another but the vehicle kept stopping on her on the way home finally getting a last jump she got into the drive way with electrical odors and massive smoke coming from the rear of the vehicle, close to the gas tank!!!
Luckily no explosions or fires to report but we are getting the vehicle into the cousin’s tomorrow and I am sure I’m looking at thousands in repair if not worse.
Why does this not surprise me? Happy New Year?

Baby Its Cold Out There!

It’s cold today very cold, you know the kind of cold that keeps on from going out. The clouds moved out and open blue sky just invited the temperature to plummet as far as it could. The sun does little, unless coming through a window on the south side of the house. There I can sit, doze even fold clothes if so motivated and think about the new week/year beginning at work to tomorrow. Yesterday or the day before I crept into my work email and caught up a little on the week of work I just missed. The boss is calling for a couple hour staff meeting, Tuesday prepared with a list of new year goals and things to consideration. In years past when I had read these type of email, the email would just about ruin my holiday. However, I have learned to really use this time to actually set some goals. Rather then using this goal setting behaviors as a way to punish, the boss really supports and helps me achieve the goals I set for myself. I have learned not to go overboard too as well as if I set a goal make the goal something I like to do and something which is fun to do too. I think I will work on my projects growth and development—maybe this year try to raise some money or get some equipment donated for my broadcast project. So what used to set a small terror inside me now end up being something which might even be considered as fun. I just hate being off the phones for at least the two hours this staff meeting is scheduled for at the present time.

So feelings I have had which were pensive at best are now feelings of excitement. I have things to look forward to. One and maybe major for 2009 is the new power wheelchair which I hope will be approved soon. I have made some adjustments and trade offs and I think I have come in with a chair which will offer me the speeds and protections I feel I can live with at a price which feels like something I can handle. Even if the chair was approved tomorrow( which I doubt) I would not get the vehicle until sometime in March at the earliest. The chair I am using on loan from the Center is meeting my needs and should see me through this winter. I have some great ideas for people to interview for the broadcasts I will be doing this year and who knows where this project will go. So this could be one of my best years ever. Hey I think I am getting excited.

Dianne just laid a list on me of things she need from the market, and Anakah just called looking to escape the confines of her place for the totally open opportunities she has at grandma’s.she will be here at two and sounds like they are going to bake. So I will go mount my power chair and head out into this cold Sunday afternoon, suddenly not so cold after all.

So Long 2008

I guess I am done for this holiday season. Finished with today’s meal at the Shang hi, one of our favorite spots to eat in Salt Lake Valley. I have been wanting to get to the Shang Hi all holiday season. Going out for a couple of meals during the holidays has become a bit of a tradition—too bad but we have only managed one meal out and that meal was with Mark and his family. We really have not had time to visit with them this season so we set up lunch for today. Anakah had spent the night jumped at the chance of getting some cousin time in this case not only with Jasmine( who was in questionable humor) but also with Sommer, the fifteen year old. I really think if Anakah has a chance of a choice of younger or older kids she will always choose the older kids, the teenagers, the cool kids and Sommer has certainly moved into those ranks.

So now I am ready to face 2009. The only remnants of the season is row of Christmas and holiday cards lining our hallway and I will take those down either tonight or tomorrow and slip the cards and their envelops into an appropriately marked folder and place them in a file drawer until November and that’s it. We really never have decorated much for the holidays for a number of reasons, mostly due to lack of space but the kids were never round much over the season so why bother, we were both working and we never had the time or the energy to decorate for our selves. Too bad, I kinda of miss the transformation to and away from Christmas, and really the only reason we so what we do now Anakah. I know she thinks it criminal that we do not have a “real’ Christmas tree. I am sure in a few years she will drag one in like a “care package” when we are too old and feeble to fight off her need to see us celebrate the holiday as she thinks we need to celebrate it.

Anakah took off with Mark a and her cousins after the meal leaving Dianne and I to return to an empty, quiet house. Dianne took a nap and messed round on the computer and listed to the storm come in. I don’t know when I will be able to post this offering maybe not until tomorrow. So long 2008 and 2008 holiday season it was nice.

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year! We past a quiet new Year’ Eve, watching a few movies and giving it up at 11:00 and going to bed. I went right to sleep only to be woken at midnight to the noises of New Years. I really wanted to explode my illegals which I have been holding the past couple of years but no, not this year. Maybe next year if I am lucky enough to live another year.

Earlier in the day we dropped by my brother’s house a couple of blocks from my house. Gabriel had dropped Anakah early in the morning to watch. Dianne had a doctor’s appointment at 8:30 and we were out the door as soon as she had arrived for the medical center for Dianne’s tests. When we had finished with the hospital Anakah—I think desperately searching for something to do with another little person rather going back to the house and the fossils of her grandparents for the rest of the day. She has a cousin who is watched by my sister-in-law similar to how we look after Anakah many days. So with this in mind Anakah “strong armed’ us to stop my brother’s home and see who was available. Her cousin was not there, one of the few that she would not be but Anakah wanted to visit with Jean, my sister-in law, who I believe , Ani believes is “back up” grandmother. I stayed in the van, of course, I really cannot access my brothers home independently, without a lot of processing, we really cannot o the “pop-in” but that’s cool.

The sun was brilliant yesterday, the last morning of the year; the sun heated the inside of the sealed van, so staying in the van was not too difficult a duty. I was bout ready to dive into my back pack and find my new book when I was startled my Carl pounding on the window and motioning for me to roll down the window. I was pleased to see him and we started visiting. I have not really visited with him for over a year now and found the action of talking with him enjoyable. I would like to think we are close as brothers go, but I could be delusional. How much we really know each other is really a question which I wan to explore this year. Anyway—the cold air finally forced Carl into the van but we continued to chat and I was a bit surprised as our conversation turned to death…ours. Carl is new retired, the last three months and is learning to be retired. Carl still rises early every day as he always did when he worked. He does the “honey-dos” and home project he has not been able to get to but even those been completed. He is taking one of his grand sons every morning to school and that is cool and even with that he is searching for his new place in his new life. But Carl is more and more aware that he is getting to the end of his life. I was a little surprised to hear him speak of his demise so casually. I know I have been having the thoughts more and more: “cremation VS burial”, what kind of service, what music or speakers, DNR or no DNR—can I afford a long medical battle if I needed to. What happens if I have a stroke or worse same with Dianne interesting questions. Carl has been have the same What will the end be like? It was interesting to hear what my older brother’s thoughts on this topic was and that thoughts were not so different then mine. But perhaps more important was just being able to visit with a brother I have with for a long while. Happy New Year!!