Capra Diem Get Some Sleep

It's 9:30 a.m. I have been up since roughly 3:30 a.m. And I'm pretty tired I think I don't perk up a couple hours I may have to take the dreaded nap! I hate naps, I have always hated naps especially after my accident. I think I came too close to death during my accident in anything it takes away my consciousness I seem to shy away from it all cost. I should embrace naps open armed just can't do it. I have been able to take naps if I been so exhausted that I cannot function any longer without some sort of rest/sleep. I don't know if that will happen today. I can tank up on coffee and get into my power chair maybe and recline little or maybe a lot but maybe catch a few winks that way, particularly if I'm in the sunlight and they should be sunlight today. This might be enough sleep to get me through until this evening when I can try sleeping again.

I'm not sure what this issue of non-sleep is. I kind of suspect it has something to do with my nocturnal cathing regumine. I think I've briefly spoken to this issue before, it seems that's what my bladder equals or exceeds 400 cc I am “ that I need to drain”and so in the middle of the night when the bladder is full I need to drain and I am woken and I can't get back to sleep until I drag myself up transfer into my chair, going to the bathroom, open up and insert the catheter into my penisand then sit there and drain the urine into the toilet. I wish I could do this sleeping but no way. I have to be up and have to go into the bathroom. So many times the time I get back to bed I am in wake mode. Sometimes if it's still early in the evening say 1 AM 2 AM I can get back to sleep for a couple hours in those days I feel just great upon awakening. But it seems to me if it's 330 or later my chance of going back to sleep is nil. Many times I just lay there and think of all the fun things I can do the next day this is doubly so now that I'm into my retirement. Then the sad part is I am awake, kind of, but not functional enough to do all the great things I was thinking of. I don't think this is insomnia per se but sure can be frustrating. I think I probably have always been plagued with this issue but during my work life it was a nonissue because I can always get myself up and have a place to go even if I was tired and could struggle through work get home and get by for a couple hours until bedtime. Repeat five times a week and then use the weekend to catch things up i.e. sleep. Now I am in retirement I think it's different than having to figure out how to deal with these insomniac episodes. I have things I got a do, I have things I want to do I just have to be conscious enough to do them. It's always something. Sometimes I think I'm just a big crybaby – – know it's true, as my sister Fay, Fay will tell you not pull any punches to the hard-core woman somebody got a lot of just because she's Fay. Some off to seize the day and try to stay awake till the end.