Friday, June 30, 2006
Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust
The other night as we were watching TV and Dianne asked, “so, what do you want me to do with you after you die?” This question always takes off guard. I just cannot get used to this brutally basic questions regarding my mortality. I suffer a moment of terror which I instantly cloth denial PJs and try to change the subject
I forever wanted to be buried. Well, its not like I considered the event all –it s just something which is going to happen and if I avoid the subject long enough I will not have to deal with it. This is specifically why I am sure Dianne keeps bringing this to my attention. I guess I can understand this especially if I am going to be buried. Then there are a ton of decisions I need to make, buying a coffin, putting together the whole song and dance i.e. who is going to speak, pall bearers, etc. So, basically getting buried is going to cost a bundle, a bundle I don’t want to spend for something as dead as being dead.
Dianne herself, wants to be cremated! Seems she has always wanted to be cremated for as long as I have known her. Her dad was cremated and they dumped the ashes into the Gulf Shores area of the Atlantic Ocean. It turned out to be a whole family affair. No funeral or anything just a quiet ceremony (low cost) and setting Otto free. This is what Dianne wants and the price is not bad.
I was raised thinking cremation was wrong: desecration of the human temple. I thought burial was a Mormon thing, practical thing; you had to do this, and this and this because and if you did not do these items you were not going to be resurrected. That was then and now I do not necessarily believe this form of thinking any more. So, I COULD be cremated. I just have problems with accepting the “end”. In my mind the second I make a decision and buy a Plan then the “end” is real. The end is really going to happen and this is just too much for me to wrap my little mind around.
But not today, or this weekend; I have a holiday to deal with and promise of good weather with nowhere to go.
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MARK! You gotta make up your mind or there could be battles and disappointments between me and your surviving (and dead?) family - mom, brothers and sisters, children. You tell me you want to be cremated, but then I read this and wonder... I need to know your last wishes about what you want done to your remains after death, or if I die first, your children need to know.
I just don't know what the heck you want done when you die. Bury or cremate? Where?
I'm considering even more stuff about my inevitable death. Here are my last wishes:
1. I definitely want to be cremated.
2. I'd like it witnessed by family that I entered the crematorium whole (no parts harvested for profit without consent).
3. I'd like to be cremated within 24 hours of death.
4. I'd like half of my ashes buried with you (or sprinked wherever you choose to be sprinkled if you chose cremation) and half to be sprinkled under the Destin bridge, between the 9th and 10th pier, into the Gulf of Mexico. Bridget knows where... This is where my family enjoyed our vacations for years and years - it has the squeakiest whitest sand and the most beautiful turquoise waters.
I can be dust over all the land, integrated into bones of fish and birds, exoskeletons of sea creatures and shells, and sands reaching all over. What freedom! The thought of being buried in the dank dark earth in a box to rot is absolutely disgusting and barbaric. Darkness, worms, mold, decay, rot, pus, slow disintegration, cold! Confined in some box to prevent recycling of the shell of a life lived. GROSS! Give me sunshine and let me contribute what's living. Can't diminish my soul in God's eyes or prevent His infinite powers to resurrect me if that's what He wants to do.
5. I do not want anything published in the obituary pages of any newspaper. Those who need to know of my death will know.
6. I do not consider it necessary for my family to even join together for a "memorial." I suppose it best each choose when and how to deal with my death, want to remember me, or whatever.
Please Mark! Make up your mind on this and make it public on your blog site so there can be family comments to you directly while you're alive.
I love you. I love being your partner. I have learned so much from you and cherish our days together.
Your wife
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