Drama Trauma

Once again I cannot believe the amount of tension and drama a small , six person office like mine can generate. Folks IMing like crazy, secrete meetings in secrete places in the office and the amount of ranker being generated. I cannot believe. Now, folks with major management issues are even contacting the board of directors. This is never good specially with a “rubber stamp board” and staff willing to take pop shots at administration. BOY, I learned along time ago this was almost a ticket to suicide, your suicide. I wish there were knights in shining armor, 7^th Calvary riding to the rescue, these are delightful, illusions devoutly to be wish for; but the truth is your perceived bad guys are going to win, backed by State and all their legal power.

Truth is I like both camps and consider members of each my friends. I am caught directly in the middle. I might be a guy with a disability but I am no martyr. Martyrs eat poorly, dress worse and never get asked to the “Big Dance”. I smile at each group answer civilly and keep my head down and answer the phones. The wound festers with the big boss out of the office on vacation. She will still begone for another two weeks—and I understand her schedule. That's a long time for the “soup to boil.” and I don't see anyone adding water to the mess.

Most of the office does not know, but I am the office survivor. I hunkered down when the power changed hands and I am still here. I am the only staff left from the old regime. Surviving regime change may not necessarily be a good thing it only proves one's tenacity and possibly questions the survivors mental health. It's not that I even want to stay at this State Agency, it's just where I am right now. I am too comfortable for my own good, the money is not great but I get by and I am pretty much left alone. At 55 .45 years you lean: I learned change is not always good and forced change is worse. I also have the road-time to know that change can be good, even painful change can be good given that one survives the change in one form or another. I think the “system” cannot really be changed, “making a difference” is highly over rated and that body bags are cheap compared to what's inside. Staff are quickly forgotten and quickly replaced. State governments and private industry rarely remembers long, if at all, sacrifices, letters of merit and “Employee of the Month awards. Whe used as a defense managers just shrug their shoulders and quip “ we had to give it to someone”.

Bill Shakespeare was correct when he wrote, “Every exit is an entrance”. My office mates may will, clench their fists, take deep breath and sing their woes to State Admin. But don't be surprised if you are handed a blue slip for your efforts and convictions. But hey, maybe just maybe, that blue slip is really the E-ticket to the ride of your life.