I Am Just a Donsil

My older brother called this morning as I was working on cleaning house. Im was in the back and Dianne got to the phone first and entered into a to lengthy discussion. My brother is kind of the family boss—he is the oldest male of my dads kids and after dad died Carl took the lead. I knew if I was being called by Carl something big was going down. My family seems to be one of those families that reserve phone calls for business: if you're getting the phone call you're getting the business. There for I figured if I was being called by Carl Saturday morning the call had something to do with mom. Well, Dianne just kept talking which was cool if Dianne was still on the phone it meant that were not too bad. Mom must still be alive. Mom is ok but things seem to be getting “rocky” there in Utah County. As written about earlier mom had medical treatments all week and my dear aunt had been driving her to these treatments. Her husband also had cancer and she is driving him too and she IS wearing out., she must be tired , terrified and and mad as hell this is all happening to her and her family. The ripples are starting to cross the family pond. Carl can only do so much as well as other family members but still things are going to have to be done. My brother called me—he must be really frustrated.

Dianne put the last of the call on Speakerphone and we discussed the parent issue and possible options. Of course this discussion can only go so far be for the nursing home option is discussed. The “care facility” is the nuclear option for families with seniors. I was shocked at how easily we slipped into this discussion—I mean we are going to have to have the discussion sooner or later.. Right? So not this week, and most likely not next week mom and the family here will have to have the discussion long term care or not long term care. This discussion on top of chemotherapy—five days a week. My brother's kids are physical therapists one actually is an administration over couple of nursing homes in the state. They are going to explore options: in home health, attendant care and what ever might be available in this semi-rural community. There was not a date set for the next family discussion. Probably next Saturday.

I just got off the phone with my mom—my weekly call. Mom seems oblivious to any stress encircling the family right now. She did indicate she is set up for rides next week. She starts her chemo next Thursday. I thought the chemotherapy has already started but no; last week was just the ramp-up Picture taking, targeting an counseling next week begins treatments. I asked if she was OK, she said she was. No problems? No. “Is Aunte treating you nice? “Of course she is, she is my sister.” What can I say to that but I love you and call me if you need anything. I am just a donsil.