Saturday's Tears

The clouds and rain have moved out and the world is trying to squeeze the last heat of summer out of this part of the world. The damage has been done however, now the beauty Autumn can begin as the plants die giving up the beautiful colors of the season before the killing temps and snows of winter come. Uproot the tomatoes and hang the plants upside down in the garage to let the last of the fruits ripen, bring in the squash and drain the water hoses. Rake the garden and turn the soil it time to let the ground rest.

I found out this morning that one of my nieces has breast cancer and she will be going in for a radical next week sometime. She is my brothers child, adopted like me, I like to believe we have a bond sense I was living with my brother and sister-in-law when they adopted her. They brought her into the house and placed her in my arms like a birthday present. This was probably the first infant I had held since my wreck where I broke my neck and be came quadriplegic. I was pretty unsure of myself. I was amazed at her size and complexity. I did not drop and she grew up to be a gifted child, gifted in everything especially sports. This girl does everything well. academics, music, kids her church and family responsibilities. Now she has cancer and the cancer has spread. We hope and pray the medical people get the cancer...we hope and pray that God reaches downs and favors us( the family, her immediate and the extended) with a miracle so common in this part of the world.

I found out when I placed my weekly call to my mom—she started here radiation this last Thursday. Mom sounded a lot better then I had imagined she would. She dropped the niece bomb or I would have not known a thing. I have grown to accept our families disjointed communication system. I nearly missed my fathers funeral. I was called when I did not show up at his viewing and one of the kids called Dianne wondering where we were. Dad's funeral is a whole blog entry in and of itself. Maybe one day I'll right about it

So this could be a “me” issue. I may have done something so sever that I am ostracized from family issues of any import. This is cool I can deal with it. Hell. This is just reverse adaptation. Maybe this is how I am perceiving these events. Maybe in the world of stress and haste somethings an people just get forgotten. Our job is to forgive and be useful when called upon. I can do that.

Two people with active cancer (that we know of) in this family—one almost a hundred and one a soul just on the brink of parent hood, three kids under 14 years old. I guess there is no fairness in this equation there never is, just old ugly life playing the cards as there dwelt and hoping for the best. It all feels pretty raw right now.