There is No Time

Images of Muffy being world traveling jocket...

It’s cold, deadly cold outside the days that guys like me have to be careful one slip on the snow when no one is round and you could be a natural goner. This is my long day I am having to work till eight o clock tonight. I have to man a table at the Murray High Information Fair tonight. It’s long and cold duty but not bad duty. The power chair I use makes everything like these after work Information Fairs.

I was notified this morning that at the university hospital rehab there was to be a presentation by Muffy the Para. Muffy is a local para is a real sport head who got married a couple or years ago. She works at the University Hospital as a money person(development). Some how she got a couple of grants to tour the world! She recently came back from the trip and one of my para buddies edited the photos and the film footage. This guy ,who is able bodied, would actually pick her up and carry forward. This happened to them in China and other places round the world. She is heading out again to Nepal. Muffy is like the university hospital’s emissary to the world. Seriously, this world traveling she is doing is literally part of her job description. I mean this chick is a “jocket”, her major claim to fame is down hill skiing. But the skiing stuff, i.e. sports stuff is just the fun part the reason why you do all the other work stuff. There’s hand biking, wheelchair basket ball, sledge hockey marathoning and anything else sports/recreation oriented. Social integration, social integration and success in the work environment after spinal cord injury, and stuff like that is the work smooze that lets a person do the fun stuff. These super crips then work with programs which provide these activities to disabled populations in Utah could be SPLORE, NAC even UCP or Easter Seals. These folks will then write the grants and before you know it…ooops there goes another spinal cord jock…or jocket. Nice hair and great teeth and a winning smile this is what third-world people with disabilities want. So Now you have third world countries flying these folks over on regular junkets.

Rereading this entry one would believe this entry is about Muffy it is not. Actually I started writing to tell you about the experience of meeting up with a couple friends of mine at the “Muffy show”. Two guys who are paras. Guys I used to work with when I was attached with Independent living. Larry and Al are paraplegics and I met them when working for the local independent living center. We were all on staff together. These were pretty heady days, a lot of partying, messing round and having some pretty good times What’s interesting I noted yesterday was that we are now making up the “old guard” we are part of the Senior legions SCIs in the community. I saw this most from a guy named Andy who was pushing his new Ti wheelchair round us, actually trying to be part of our conversation. I ran into him at the presentation and new he had only been injured 18 months he was young by any measurement.

We had all congregated at the cafeteria and were all sitting round the tale yoking it up and having a good time during our version of Glory Days. Non of us had the moxy, brains or ambition to get on the CRIP GRAVY TRAIN like the Muffer.

We like to jab these Rah Rah over achievers but I know we sense a little envoy when they’re jetting off to yet another third world, bottled water experience no matter what we say.

One Two Punch

When I got home last night I was surprised to see my van had been moved out on the street which is not a big deal just odd. When I got in the house Dianne had informed me that my brother and cousin had been there to get my mother’s hospital bed to move to my brother’s home in anticipation of my mom relocating from the nursing home come the end of the month. YIKES TOMORROW!!!! But they had to move the van to get the bed out of the garage and did not re-park the vehicle. This was no big deal I figured the van would get re-parked. Cool, I unbundled from the storm which was never there and wandered into my evening.

I was in my computer room after my shower this morning getting dressed and I hear the deep rumble snow plows not once but two and three times running the streets in front of my house. Then I remembered THE VAN IS PARKED out front of the house and I know the City drivers hate things out front when they need do things like sweep or plow the street. I know they some times get so pissed, these drivers take great delight in piling as much snow as possible on said vehicle. Some time during the night the snow which had been promised during the day finally came and came with a semi-vengance.

Phfff!

I believe the weather forecasters are no longer forecasting the weather but writing the weather reports and adding what media they can when they can. I think the the forecaster’s goal is to write griping, compelling drama for the next days weather. The ACTUAL weather does not because that is not what the weather report is about. TheWeather Report, as broadcast at 5,6,and 11 is nothing but fiction-maybe because weather reporting is supposedly a science, then reporting would be Science Fiction!!

Yesterday was nothing but yammering about the great horrible snow storm which was supposed to descend on North Utah. The storm came but it was a huff and a pff and that was about it. Barely a skiff of snow lay on the ground as I burst out the door of my house this morning. One thing was accurate: the temperature was cold and I think will remain cold for the next couple of days. The temp is not bad though 25-35 degrees—brisk. I dress in layers, scarves, gloves and my cap. I am finding the parka I have used the past three years does not seem to be doing the job of repelling the cold this year. I need a nice, modern ski type jacket: a jacket which is light weight yet warm, repelling moisture in all forms. This warm clothing allow me to motor my power chair up to the train station. I would actually go up to the station in my chair then have to transfer from my power chair to the driver’s seat let the van warm up and then drive it five minutes up to the train the reverse the whole situation. It just easier to tolerate the elements and motor up.

So what ever storm and snow we have been getting have been coming in bands all day long. Dianne needed me to pick up some items from downtown and when I took off the snow was just beginning to fall and I had not been out five minutes and a “white out” was occurring. Well not a “white out” as experienced in Antarctica or the North Pole but white enough. I was bundled up pretty tight though. If I had brought y digital today I would have had someone snap an image I look pretty ridiculous. I feel that when I am all ‘puffed up’ I look like a fourth grader, one who’s mother has the kid so dressed up against the cold that if the kid falls down he will never be able to get himself back up. That is what I look like.

Well, there is my 3:00 pm Weather Bug, weather warning! The Winter Storm Advisory has been extended, now, till tomorrow at 8:00 am. The afternoon skies are gray and foreboding and the humanity walking past my “window on the West are bundled up, huddled into their jackets like turtles trying to pull them selves into their shells. I have had the heater blowing on me all day and the heat feels good. We are between snow bands right now the streets are clear of snow. However, I am sure by going home time the blizzard will be raging.

Sorry No Comprehende

Ever since I have worked at this office we have subscribed to a service called Language Line. Language Line (LL)is a resource a person or organization can use to take phone calls from callers speaking other languages. Language line is a great concept but it has never worked for us. The LL is cumbersome at best to work effectively. When a non (in my case) non speaking English person calls, one must first realize that the person speaks no English then convey to this person to wait, put that person on hold then find the LL toll free number, ask for a whatever language interpreter and then put that interpreter on hold then integrate the first caller into a “three way conversation”. I think I have had maybe five calls in the eight years I have been on staff and of those five calls only one caller has still been hold when I finally got back to the caller with the LL interpreter.

This summer as we were preparing budgets for the new year and more accurately trying to figure out where we could trim costs the Language Came up. Actually, what really happened to provoke this “trimming” the billing of a number of multi-hundred dollar calls that LL was trying to charge my program with. I immediately held a meeting with my executive director with our bookkeeper/accountant letting them know we never had made such calls and then suggesting we cancel the “service”. The bookkeeper/accountant’s said he would call LL and take care of the the whole thing. Great! The book keeper/accountant ‘s office is right next to mine and I was able to over hear him beginning the process. I figured he was on top of it and that was that.

The bookkeeper/account moved on to another position in State a couple of weeks ago and sure enough a bill from LL landed on my desk. I hate bombs like that. I first wanted to lash ot at the departed bookkeeper/accountant then had to hold off. I did hear him at least talk to LL so he must have been trying. But he has been known to drop things before,(was that malicious?) Like I said I just hate being sucker punched. The new boss took up the ball his time and is running with it. Sounds pretty good so far. She even called the past bookkeeper/accountant and got him in on the foray. If nothing else this should be entertaining. We are talking only a couple hundred dollars but still the principal is involved (no pun intended).

The clouds have been massing all day. All day yesterday all the weather forecasters have been yammering it up about a “monster storm” headed our way. Strom warnings in place from 3:00 pm to 3:00 a.m. I just checked Weather Bug amd the bug calls for heavy “now warnings”. I even drove my van in today anticipating poor commuting conditions form my evening’s return. Oh well I should be thankful for being able to drive home on dry roads.

Linda

Linda and me at recent dinner

I got an email from my little, sister Linda yesterday in Boise. She had read my entry yesterday and was concerned about my mom’s upcoming move to my brothers home from the care center. I guess few of the family know this is happening outside of the Utah folks. I do not know if this slip of information is intentional or just an oversight. Well one way or the other the cat’s out of the bag now and I am going to be the one to blame. Seriously what difference does this information make. Mom is unhappy with where she is at and she is going somewhere else. And that is that. You really have to know my mother to appreciate this.

My little sister Linda is my sweetheart. Linda is my younger sister. I have few memories of really being a big brother to her in the true big brother sense but the one memory I do have is once At the Idaho State Fair. One of the few time I took her to the Fair that year. Again, one of the few times I remember doing anything specifically with my sister. This happened before I broke my neck so I had to be fourteen years old. This would make Linda 7-8. Actually, now that I ponder this I may have been younger because she seemed to me younger the seven or eight. We were just alking round the Fair when she spotted a “Hall of Mirrors” you know the weird mirrors which distort your figure making you look strange. The mirrors were actually built on the back end of a semi-trailer with a narrow stairway in and another at the rear of the mirror hall. Linda asked if she go in and I figured “Why not?”. It was her quarter. I let go mover her hand and she ran got her ticket and got in line to enter the hall. Finally her turn came, she gave up her ticket and entered the hall. In seconds after she entered I heard her scream. She was just inside the door way and had seen the first distortation and lost it. There were some bars , it seems, separating the different mirrors and they were open to the outside of the of the trailer. She had fold of the bars in a death grip. The operation came to a halt with this little girl terrified. A couple of the grown up tried to intervene but Linda would have nothing of this. I eventually stepped forward and identidied myself as her brother. I remember the carnie let me in and I thought to myself This is great I am getting into the funhouse free! This did not seem right but still this was what I was thinking all because my sister is screaming and hanging on the bars. I went in and Linda released herself from the bars and clumped onto me and I carried her out, but to do so we had to go through the entire Hall of Mirrors and like I said I don’t remember anything of what I saw. Strange. But, I felt like a protector that day. I felt like an older brother like I did something I was supposed to do. Thinking back to that day I wish I had been a better older brother—maybe if I had not had the wreck when I did I could have connected better in this role. I don’t know.

Linda grew up to be quite an exotic person, one I have always enjoyed. I hope she knows that I love her.

Christmas Season 2006

Christmas 2006 officially started for me today. There can be a number of things which will start the yuletide season for me: buying my first gift, shopping for the first gift(s) getting my first Christmas card or even writing my first card—well today I started writing the cards. Dianne had spent the night at Anakah's dealing with a crises, she and Ani were up a good part of the night talking. This morning in a burst of productivity I hauled out my box of cards from the bast couple of years. The box is great to store writing instruments, unused cards(left-over), postage and from this time forward addresses to the family. I next spent a good hour and half searching for the first on my lap top first then to the great desktop where I located a 2004 edition. This is list is fairly current and will get ninety percent of the cards to their destinations.

There are probably at least a hundred souls I should “card” but rarely gout outside my immediate family and a few close friends I have kept close to over the years. I have stayed away from the family news letter approach which is so ubiquitous these days. I write my cards out, just a few lines by the card are had and in my own hand and the message you are getting if you get a card from me is singular to you. It just feel better that way. Twenty cards is about the maximum I send out. Ten to brothers and sisters , maybe five or so to cousins and aunts or uncles, and the remaining five to selected friends and associates. If am to mail all of these I will be laying down eight or nine dollars in postage. But thats cool it's Christmas.

During this season i would like to go out to restaurants at least, do a couple of movies and maybe the Handel concert, what I would love to do it the The Messiah sing a long. I have never participated in th sing a long. However, I have gone as far as purchasing the music and even looked up the times ( there are a couple of the sing alongs in this town). Also during the season I want to run my copy of Holiday Inn, Scrouged and a couple of other films I have come to associate with the season You've Got Mail is one of those films I have always felt has a strong yule component. I think I use these films to see how other people do their Christmas. I like the films which show a lot of party going, people dressing up doing formal dinners and festive balls...I guess the romantic in me.

But alass this is building to be a busy year, seems that a couple of the kids families are unraveling, diverting a major portion of my weekend time to visit mom in the care center but hat maybe academic after a week or so. Mom sounds like she will be moving in with my older brother and sister in law. I do not know how long this arrangement is going to last but when mom goes there she will be, again, unreachable by me except by phone.

I believe the first cold snap mis on it's way in. The weather guy is calling for snow by Tuesday and I am feeling a sore throat coming on....

A Sadly Fun Day

Note: This posting was written yestereday and I tried to post the item last night butm the INTERNET seemed to be down.

I tried to roll out of bed at 4:30 but did not make it until 5:00 a.m. We had to somehow pull this day off. I cleaned off a space on my sink and Dianne got up and feteched me the turkey. We had brought the ice chest in from the garage and put the thawed bird in the chest with ice—there was no room in the fridge. I washed the bird an Dianne stuffed the bird with onions and celery and we put the beast in the oven.

Next I was chopping even more celery and onion as Dianne toasted bread for stuffing.

We mixed stuffing and put it in the pans Dianne continued to clean the house. We scheduled the dinner for 12:00 p.m. Brooks wonder over round 10:00 and gave us a hand cooking and straightening the house. The goal of the day was to ave a good time visit and spring Mom out of the ‘home’ for a while expose her to some none institutional food and try to make this, one of her last holidays, as pleasant and bearable as possible.

Bridget still has her pneumonia and she was not able to make the dinner. Gabe dropped Anakah off( who also helped tons) and returned home with Bridget. We missed her and Gabe hopes B gets well soon.

Back at the kitchen Dianne putt he sweet potatoes together and Brooks and Anakah began to peel the potatoes. Brooks loves mashes taters and gravy. I was shocked at how well everything seemed to be going. We were going to actually pull off his event. I got motivated and instead of place card with names I decided to print images of the guests and set the images at their places. The project took a little to figure out but the place cards came out great. The project kept me occupied and out of everyone’s hair. Mid morning we got a call from Charles—what a shock! He was going to join us for dinner. What a wonderful surprise.

Dianne, Anakah and Brooks got Mom at 11:30. She came with her walker. Mom sat on her walker and Brooks was able to push her in from the car. Mom seemed genuinely pleased to be at the table. Mark and Jasmine had arrived while Dianne was out gathering mom. Kristie joined us later in the meal. We ended up with a nice turn out.

Mom gave the blessing on the food and we dug in. Everything turned out perfect. We had planned to have a ham but there was not time nor room to cook the ham. So the ham will head back to the freezer to make a Christmas or New Years appearance. Mom began wearing out later in the meal, holding her head in her hands as if to steady her self. She mentioned she was tired and needed to get back to her care center. I could tell the last few minutes were hard on her. We got Brooks to drop her off at the facility. She needed to rest in her bed. It was pretty sad but I think she enjoyed the time she spent with the family. I doubt there well be another opportunity.

Dianne went down for a nap, Charles, Mark and I visited and did dishes. Anakah and Jasmine went out side and drew on the sidewalk and then came back and watched Shrek.

The time was good and well spent, Very little stress considering the players and the logistics. But the event was done, most of the dishes washed and food put away and the carcass thrown away. I enjoyed watching the cousins play.

Happy Thanksgiving

Why do I hold on to things so hard?

Today is JFK Day, though this date has never been formally identified as a memorial to JFK ( and I think the day should) I just cannot let go of ‘that day the music died’. I do not know why I still hold onto to memories of the day like I do but I do.

7^th grade East Jr. High school in Boise : lunch hour. I was at the “Hornet’s Nest” the grease grill right next to the Jr High school. Great hamburgers and cherry cokes( they actually mixed these drinks) and the Juke box was always cranking out the tunes. The place was right next to the school and was always crowded over lunch. Jocks in one corner, the leather jackets in the other hot rodders and other just mingled with the rest. Everything was cool. When all the sudden a commotion began to ripple across the floor. Someone screamed then silence except for Dead Man’s curve playing on the Juke box. Then I heard the wave as it crossed me ‘Someone had just shot President Kennedy in Dallas.’

‘Yeah sure’—‘No really listen ‘TURN OFF THE JUKE!!’ static as the radio over the cash register is fine tuned to a bulletin “…and John Connelly as the presidential motorcade breaks ranks and head for Parkland Hospital. All we could see was the president slump forward and Mrs Kennedy turn to seemingly catch the President. Immediately after Mrs. Kennedy climbed over the President two Secret Service agents climbed on to the back of the Lincoln Centennial to shield the coupler…” The silence lasted about twenty seconds but the angst and engeryof adolescence soon re-captured the ‘Hornets Nest’ as hamburgers were ordered up and cokes delivered. IT was not till fourth period that the events of the radio began to seek in. The normal hustle and bustle of students returning to class dampened. I saw teachers crying especially the young one—this was unbelievable even Tony Sabus , the world history teacher and wrestling coach. Half way through 4^th period Larry Warshum came over the intercom and validated the tragedy. Until that second I did to really believe it. I thought the whole thing was some weird joke or something but now the reality of the event crashed in on me. We were not dismissed early or anything like that but the rest of the day was just a gray haze. Teachers could not teach, some couldn’t even stop crying. The rest of the day was one giant studyhall.

I lived on a small farm just South and East of Boise. A canal cut through our property. The canal was on a bench about twenty feet above our farm. On the South side of the canal was desert and the Idaho Power sub station. I had a Mossberg 22 cal, bolt action automatic, a round was inserted into the chamber and the casing was emitted every time a person worked the bolt. The tubular magazine held about 25 rounds. The day had darkened into evening when I had finished my chores of milking and carrying in the wood. The house had slid into the televised hypnosis as all the networks kept playing over and over the day’s events and the germs of hatred, hypocrisy and conspiracy began to take hold. I slipped out of the house with my 22 cal rifle and walked the ten acres over to the canal climbed its bank and methodically fired twenty-one rounds into the night sky.

Right Now

Right Now, this very second, out side my window, according to my computer, it’s 62 degrees which I equate with warm weather, 62 degrees on the 21^st of November, two days away from Thanksgiving. I knew the temperature was to be warm and in the 60’s so I did not leave the house with my parka, which is the closest thing I own to a heavy winter jacket. I m beginning to think 60 degrees in November looks and feels a whole lot different the 60 degrees in May.

When I bolted from door this morning at 6:30 am I think it was about 57 degrees but that temperature was 57 dark degrees which feels different then 57 light degrees. I chose to wear my black diamond, which is a thermal lightweight

garment that I can rap round my head and shoulders like a scarf and do very well. But I almost turned round and went back into the house to get my big coat. I was late and the door to the house was locked and I just decided to ‘tough it out’, surly the afternoon would be more comfortable.

At lunch I needed to escape the office so I headed downtown it was 62 degrees ‘light degrees’ and I took my Black diamond just incase… and I was glad I did. The clouds had moved in and the wind was up and even with the wind out of the South I was uncomfortable. I had lunch at the German deli, Seigfrieds. I love to go to Seigfrieds and get lost within it’s German speaking population. Seigfrieds recently installed a large flat screen TV which they keep tuned into a German satellite station. I try to follow the conversations and even try to order in German when I feel brave. I usually just get my lunch pointing and nodding. I usually order simple. Today I had hot potato salad and a sausage. Hot, fast and relatively cheap.

I have been watching the sky get more and more all after noon. I head home in 30 minutes. The temp is still holding at 62 degrees, but they are very dark degrees and if I am not lucky they could be 62 wet degrees but the weather girl say as no rain until Thursday. But I have been caught before. Tomorrow I am wearing my coat regardless of what the weather man forecasts.

Molly called again today. She sounded fine and knew she was rattling on and on. I gave her her 60 minutes and supported in her writing of her complaints against her landlord, to her landlord’s church. Her complaints are turning out to be a twenty page or so document which is torture for the poor girl to write. Molly really believes the Church is going to make her landlord ‘ sell’ her the property she is currently squatting in. She believes so strongly that because she is in the right and holds, the morale high ground, she will eventually be rewarded with this property. Molly’s case is scheduled to go to court next week and, I believe, will rule against her then the three day swift eviction will be executed at which time the poor lass could find herself and her belongs, literally, out on the street. Everyone pray for Molly.

Schrödinger’s Call

There is a timer on my phone. Each call I take is documented by date, time of can duration of the call. I am so used to the timer that I rarely consult the device unless I sense the call is dragging on way beyond normalcy. Today has been such a day. I am usally pretty good gauging my calls and bring the call skillfully to an end when they have run to the thirty minute mark or so. But today I ran into a time splitter or time ripper. Someone so skilled in the use of quantum mechanics that I swear, can drag a call to infinity, and show no time has elapsed at all. I just cleared the line. The caller just droned on and on and on. It was one of the people who can never get to the point but has mountains of medical trivia about themselves that they feel you must know about. I bet if you were to meet them they would be carrying round huge brown envelopes stuffed with x-ray images and medical histories. The really sad part is there is no where I can send these pour souls. They have been everywhere, they know the system for ward and backward. I swear I had been on the phone for what I thought was nearly an hour. Unless the call is a real interesting call I will give the caller 60 minutes and then start breaking the connection—that’s if it’s a quiet day. I felt I was closing in on the magic number when my eyes strayed to the phone clock and gadzooks! The clock showed I had only been on the call seven minutes and 35 seconds!! I first thought had read the counter wrong and that I actually had listed to the caller for 1 hour and seven minutes and thirty-five seconds, but no there was a zero in the “hour” place holder. That’s when I realized I had a QMer on the line.

A QMer is a quantum mechanic/time ripper. Usually service users so skilled in the time manipulation. What I think they do is take the infinitely small bits of positive time, happening in a conversation and replace that but with it’s identical bit of negative time and by doing so keep time itself motionless or near motionless. I have had professors and bosses in staff meetings use this skill during the years quite skillfully.

Once on to the QMer I was able to bring time back on line and bring the call to a close with out the QMer even being aware that we had returned to normal time flow.

Time is slowing now anyway as we are enter the vortex of holiday black hole where time slows to almost negativity for the individual as his surroundings go to light speed. The only thing one can do is get your sleep. Drink lots of water and keep your eye in your watch./

An anonymous read noted that she was concerned about Molly of last week’s blog. I spoke with Molly on Friday and she is doing OK. She still lives and is fighting the fight to stay in her home. I’ll keep you posted.

Over the River and Through the Woods

I really wanted and meant to post yesterday but the day just evaporated. Saturdays I usually post in the mid afternoon but I have seen my schedule is changing. With mom in the LTC =Crosslands. I am using the afternoon to run up and visit and when I am finished I usually go and do some shopping or something and by the time I get hope I have other things to do and I just run out of time or creative energy. I think I need to write early on Saturday mornings, when I am fresh. The trade off being many times in the early morning or just morning I have not been stimulated with an experience or thought which to write on.

The decision is made we will be having mom over to our house on Thursday for the traditional dinner. When I had arrived at the center I noticed my brother and sister in law had also just arrived (these are folks who usually host the dinner). My sister in law was just beside herself thanking us for having the dinner in their absence. I of course had the “ deer in the headlights”not sure what they had heard and I did not wan to destroy anything which had already been agreed to. So I just smiled and nodded my head. Once in side, my cousin was there and my brother and wife. Discussion was limited as mom wanted to finish watching something on the Hallmark channel-something with Steve Martin in the starring roll. Carl and Jean were in and out dropping off washing and some other items of mom’s need. And we power visited during the commercial breaks and the thing I was impressed with most was that mom indeed wanted to do Thanksgiving dinner at our house. In fact she did the parent “foist money” on me thing, her commitment to the dinner, Mom’s way of being part of the big event. She wants “real” turkey with real mashed potatoes with real gravy. Last year we did the dinner too and mom had fund memories of the event. So it look’s like we are going to do the dinner.

When I discussed my Visit with Dianne, I was relieved to find Dianne was in total support of the project. Dianne is still in serious pain, back pain, but is welling to host the event. Bottom line is we are in the event to have fun and to provide a quality, memory making event to all those who attend. We also figured that we were in for a nickel in for a dime and we may as well open the event to the rest of the family. So, Brooks sounds is coming maybe Bridget, Gabe and Auni and we will also see about Mark A. I think this is going to be a fun experience. And, really one has to look at every opportunity like this is a gift. In fact I had better get going I have a turkey to buy.

Shamless Plug

Shane, the guy who lived in the office in my right just took off. Today was his last day here at the office and now he is gone. The last of the old office except for me—actually Vicky is still here but she is just part time and she was on the Council which was volunteer and not a paid position. Shane was a weird little duck but I liked him enough. I donot think he liked me all that much since I have supported the new administration here at the office. Hey, I am the boss when the big boss is gone so that makes me the little boss. I think that kind of pissed him off too. I think he felt he should have been the little boss since he was the little book keeper or contract analyst. Titles are such a joke. So now there is the part time person and three full time folks and that is all. But that should not be for long we want to hire two part timers to replace my partner. Of course we ar doing this so we will not have to fork out benefits. I feel kind of “fishy” about doing that, since I just hate the huge corps that are doing the exact same thing. I guess I can at least understand why the big boys do this.

2008, I’ll have been at this position for ten years—maybe it’s time I should be moving on too but why? Just because everyone else has moved on who was at the office when I came on board? I have position I basically like, I am vested with the state, I have benefits I like the location and I can get to the job via public transit which the State basically pays for.So why not ride out my occupational life here with my window on the West?

It’s the Friday before Thanksgiving an things at the office have slowed way down. I am riding out the clock till 5:00.. I think the heater I have in back of me, stoked up to “HI” has lolled me into melancholia and philosophical babble. Any way, everyone have a great weekend and I will leave you with a shameless pitch for a book recently released by my buddy Bryon Murray who lives in Roosevelt Utah. The Pieces of the Puzzle Called Bryon is the book’s title and the book is an account of Bryon’s life living with a significant head injury. Bryon is has been very active in the statewide People First program. I donot know what had inspired this lad in the past couple of years I have known him but he has just taken off in personal growth. He has started marketing himself as inspirational speaker. He has traveled to a number of states including Washington DC. In fact he few out on Thursday morning to speak to a conference in Anaheim California and he has all his expenses paid. What I thought was really excited about this experience is this is the first trip he has taken completely by himself. The other trips he has had supports, job coaches, and other support types but this one he is winging it independently and I am impressed. Bryon had 100 books published and is “out there” selling them t cover his publication costs. The Pieces of the Puzzle Called Bryon is a small volume only 150 pages but the saga of his struggle is huge. Worth the cost of $10.00 just to say “ I bought hi first book, when he was just starting out.

Seasonal Signs or Merry What?!!

I am still on, what seems, is my Stephen King reading marathon. I carry my current King with me wherever I so I always have something to read. I read every morning or afternoon of possible on my train commute. If I am really lucky I’ll open the book when I get situation in my car and will not pull my head up until I arrive at the Delta station “ The end of the line as far as they go”. Yesterday when the train stopped at the City Center Station I looked up and there was a Christmas tree! November 15^th, I really think this is the earliest I have seen trees out and lit up. This morning training in I saw four other large trees out and decorated and at least ten wreaths. I the daylight I do jot notice these as much as, now that I travel in darkness to and from work. I should qualify these statements with the decorations are either on corporate or State buildings. I have yet to see any Christmas decorations on private homes. This is good. A couple of networks have started their yuletide commercials accompanied with Christmas carols or jingles.

And I have to admit I was caught short when I saw the lit tree, and in spite of myself, felt myself warming to the season. I felt a distant excitement begin to build and I had to do one of those reality checks and examine my mental calendar and find that I have not even done Thanksgiving yet. I still have to figure out how I am going to celebrate Thanksgiving (with my older brother out of town. We usually go there for the meal.) How are we going to work Thanksgiving with mom being in the care facility? Do we need to bring her to our house, or is there some where there to eat with her in a quasi—make believe setting—at the care facility. I have yet to process Thanksgiving to be, let alone at getting all Christmasy.

Last night when I got home I did my usually cursory refrigerator examination looking for something to eat till we figured out what to do about dinner. Dianne had doctor appointments and I had asked that she stop at the market pharmacy and pick up my scripts. This she did and also picked up a quart of eggnog. I love eggnog and nothing brings out my holiday spirit more then eggnog. So whether I want to admit it or not the signs of the holidays are all round me, on the street, on the tube and in the fridge. I suppose I could fight the Spirit on the premise that the time is too early for the holidays or accept the fact that the holidays are here and just enjoy them with family, friends and strangers. Maybe the Christmas miracle is coming early this year for a reason and accept the miracle. Maybe I had better do the celebrating now because if I don’t celebrate now and I mean RIGHT NOW I will not get a chance at the more traditional time.

So Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and happy New Year to one and all and you are ALL going to suffer my joyous attitude all through this season and if I slip let me know.

Where's My Chronic?!

One of the sad facts of life is: that many people out “there” in life are sad, depressed and desperately lonely. These folks live in their small rent controlled or subsidized apartment wishing any kind of social contact. Lucky for them and sad for me and other operators like me there are information lines or support lines of one sort or another. In my day I have worked hotlines, suicide lines and now this State information and referral line and there has been one constant: if you offer a free line they will call. These folks are what I call the “chronics” People who seem to have nothing better to day but to call you (me) on the phone and talk and talk and talk.

I currently have two or there callers whom I would refer to as chronic, actually only one, who is truly chronic and by chronic I mean someone who calls everyday. The other couple of chronics call maybe once or twice a month and they can take an hour or more but once they have talked their talk you can clear the lines and get back to work. But my daily chronic, lets call her Molly, calls nearly everyday and will talk as long as I will allow her ramble. This would not be so very bad if I were one of those folks who can multi-task—like being able to work on typing while fully engaged with Molly. I cannot do that, when I have tried to do that I just mess up the conversation and the caller knows they are not your focus of attention. So I eventually make the commitment to the call, trying to look at the clock on the wall and see my day drag by.

Molly is a lost, mal-nourished waif who maintains she can only subsist on a very specialized diet from high end health food stores. I personally think she is brilliant. Molly has a degree and is trying to make a business doing people’s genealogy but her business has not gone well. Molly is also trying to stay in a house the owner is trying to throw her out of. Poor Molly has no where to go. People do not understand her need for her specialized diet—Molly can be demanding for what she deems is right and fair. The owner of the home she is in promised at one time that she he would sell this place to her. There was never anything done formal and in writing. The property has greatly escalated in value over the time she has lived and now he wants to sell it and he wants Molly out. Mollys’s not going! She wavers between suicide and torching the property. It’s been two days since I last heard from her and I am beginning to worry about her.

Molly is focused, clearheaded little thinker—I don’t think she is crazy. I do think she is desperate, hurt and feels abandoned socially, ecclesiastically and emotionally. I hope and pray she survives her relocation because I doubt she will be in her house much longer. I’ll give her one more day and I do not hear from her by tomorrow afternoon I’ll have to call someone.

It Starts Today

It has started! The season of holiday over consumption, from now until January 2^nd eat, eat, and drink, drink, drink and general party. Holiday dinners, church suppers and business open houses office Christmas parties all add up to more weight then one can swallow. I just finished a complete Thanksgiving dinner and the meal was great. Next week is Thanksgiving-a replay of today but add pumpkin pie and eggnog times how many left over meals you are lucky or unlucky to enjoy. The following week is December. Office parties and platters of home made cookies or other baked goodies and candies designed to celebrate the season show up on desks or door steps. If I am to survive this season and not start the New Year as huge as a house I am going to have to exercise major self discipline and pace myself. One cookie a day, on small helping of masked potatoes and gravy; one is one is all, no piling mounds and mounds of foot onto the plate and scarfing it down. I am also going to exercise, some how even if the exercise is just symbolic. I think the best exercise I can do is push myself away from the table maybe not even go to the table in the first place. If I miss one of these huge meals that is fine there will be other meals just as fine and just as opulent.

I woke this morning to lightning and thunder and rain being thrashed against our bedroom windows.. I double showered one in the show and then one in the leak in the roof just over my wheelchair. It’s funny because the ceiling was not leaking before I got in the shower but was when I got out. I need to get someone to get up on the roof and put down a blue plastic sheet to cover the hole and then plan of getting the hole fixed this next summer. I have tried to have contractors before get up there but they never can find the problem. I am terrified at what I might find when I finally do get someone to see what can of structural damage has been done to the roof and rafters. Ahhh the joys of home ownership.

Listening to the rain outside my bedroom window, I decided early on that I would drive my van up to the train station and train into work. I finally caved when I realized that if I did not put my shoes on until I got to the office I would only have to put them on once. I know I stand a pretty good chance of loosing my shoes when I transfer from my chair to the drivers seat and then again transferring back into my chair. And I am getting so I hate these shoes because the fall odd so easily. So, I drove into the office took one of the precious parking spaces and put my shoes on in the office. How, looks like all threat of rain and snow are gone and I am stuck with having to drive home in rush traffice. I need to realize agai how thankful I should be that I CAN drive and go anywhere I want to drive myself I spent an hour on the phone with a 432 pound women who was in tears because she did not have a vehicle, was new in town and broke and did not have anyway to the market,-- she had already tried all the places I suggested. She cried, I tried but the best I was able to do for her was listen to her cry and be supportive. Sometimes that is all you can do.

Monday Winds

This morning there were gale force winds blowing as I left the house for the train. Rain turning to snow was forecast but later in the day. There were a few drops amplified by the wind which felt like pin pricks on the skin when the wind found exposed skin to lash against. I was running late this morning too almost forty-five minutes one of those morning when nothing went right. I counted and I had to put my shoes on three different times! The shoes went flying, after I put them on the first time, in a flurry of spasms. The second time I was rolling into the bathroom to pull my pants up and the third time I was transferring from my manual wheelchair to my power wheelchair. Three times I was exhausted! I mean to put on my shoes I use one of my hooks to hook the pant leg of my shoeless foot and lift my leg up over my other leg to where I can reach my foot, then I take my shoe and put in my foot and lower my foot down to the foot plate on my wheelchair. In fact the major reason I did not use my van today was because I always loose at least one shoe transferring from my wheelchair to the drivers seat and I just could not bare putting on my shoes another time. I did the turtle all the way up to the station. Huddled way down in my parka and stoking had and the new gloves I purchased yesterday I was warm and dry.

I got out of the house about 10 minutes later then usual I missed my usual train and as I neared the ramp up to the mini-high block I could see there was a person who was blind waiting to catch the same train as I . Turned out this person was a blind talker, someone who filler her darkness with words. I guess I can understand that but why this morning and why me? Oh well, I thought and engaged thinking that once the train arrived I could ditch her up front and disappear into my Stephen King. The driver would, of course, put her in a seat. In the short we spent waiting for our train to arrive. I found she was retired, going to the blind center for mobility training, had worked for thirty-eight years, was diabetic had had kidney transplant from a cadaver, had three kids, would move East but not West, used to live in the Avenues and suffered from retinopathy secondary to her diabetes. The train FINALLY did arrive and I thought I was off the hook. I was on the train,in my customary spot and had just read the first line when I felt a tapping on my shoulder and she had managed tom sit in the seat on other side of the divider. She had self a 90 degrees in her chair to continue her incessant babble all the way into to the city. Sometimes a person just has to accept they are not going to get to do what they want to so, I feigned interest to this sightless traveler, nodding and grunting to her chatter. The skies are gun metal gray as I get ready to head home. The temps are in the 50’s and there is not rain yet. I was able to read at lunch so if I have to listen to some one on the way home I will do so and be nice about doing it. I never know when I may need someone to listen to me

I'm Almost Ready for the Cold

Feels like winter is finally here, the sun was bright and shining when I took off to explore a new store in the neighborhood. I have been meaning to get up to the store for some time but have just been too busy. With the sun shining and my parka on I took off. I stopped at my neighbors and visited with him for a bit. The sun felt good for a while but there was a slight wind and even a little wind brought the temperature down to a level of discomfort, not for me as much as or Al. We visited for about 45 minutes and then I let Al off the hook and I went on my way.

The store I Office Depot, your typical big box office store but it’s new and on our side of the street. Office Depot has everything a body needs for fun. Of course, I was most interested in the computers and computer equipment. I don’t know if they have anything at any better prices the CompUSA but Office Depot s a lot closer. I wondered after the Depot, I went to Linins and things and the went to Burlington Coat Factory. What a weird place and I am going to try really hard to me fair but I was amazed. This place is of course a deep discount close house so you have many people there from every walk of life and nationality, rolling into BCF(Burlington Coat Factory) is what I imagine rolling down a street in New York City. There was a different language in every aisle. I am still wearing my coat with the broken zipper. The zipper works if can get my thumb or a stick or something behind the broken zipper and push the zipping part up. If I take he coat to a tailor the tailor would charge me the coast of new cheap coat or maybe even more. The coat does not have to be cheap it just has to be big enough for me. The thing I thought was weird was the aisle I needed to get down to look at the coats was impossible roll down because the floor for was entirely covered with coats two or three deep. I almost took a picture but thought I might be too conspicuous. I was appalled. I had never seen such chaos in a store before. I the BCF might be low on staff because I happened to see a manager type giving what looked like a new hire the tour and telling him what she him to do. He was there with his girlfriend or wife and he looked totally disinterested. At one time in the conversation the manager asked the kid if he really wanted to work It sounded like she was begging him. Then I started looking round the place and I noticed many of the other staff ha that “deer in the headlights” look on their face. Like “what the hell have I gotten myself into?” The place was so much of a mess that I was overwhelmed with the idea of battling the mess to find a coat. I am going to have to sooner or later but I was just up to the task today. I did, however, buy a pair of gloves, black leather. I think these gloves should be just right rolling in the snowy cold I know is coming.

And so ends my holiday weekend. The weekend was not as eventful as I would have liked but it was OK, good sleep, some good food and a visit to Mom. Sometimes that is as good as it gets.

Veterans Day for Real—

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My mosVeterans Day for realt remembered Veterans Day—Boise Idaho 1961

In the Boise of 1961 there were only two high schools Boise Senior High and Borah Senior High. Borah opened in 1958 so it was still the new kid on the block. Still, only three years old a mighty cross town rivalry had developed and the largest sporting event of the year was the annual Boise Borah foot ball game. An event so large the game was held on a national holiday…Veterans Day.

The Boise Borah game was held in the old Bronco Stadium on the Boise Jr. College campus on the banks of the beautiful Boise river. Eventualy Boise Jr. College would become Boise State Univeristy but that was still 20 years in the future. The stadium was two an half miles from our farm and I had gotten into the habit of going to all the Boise game with my older brother Ross. I went to Campus Grade school which was essentially a ‘feeder’ school for Boise. We were Boise Braves and the Braves needed us and we were there for the Braves. This sediment changed years later when I broke my neck and was forced to go to Borah High because the school was built on one level a opposed to Boise which was built in 1910 or something. The physical transition was nothing compared to having to attend a school I was raised to hate but that is fodder for another blog.

I sad earlier attended these games to support the team which I did in spirit but actually I went to these games to run round and be away from home. My parents would either drop us off at the game or we would ride to the game with the Cantrells who truly were Boise High supporter. I remember the folks would give us the 75 cents which was admission to the game but we would usually jump the fence and pocket the quarters. These football game were played at night greatly increased the pleasure of being out unsupervised. However, the Boise Borah game was played at 2:00 in the afternoon. The game was hosted by both schools ROTC programs. There was marching, shooting, singing and cannon fire and later in history, extravagant half time programs. Lots of snare drums and brass horns when they al got to playing you feel the music inside your very guts in side your very soul.

I am not super sure of the year but I know the year had to be 1961-1962. JFK was still alive and I was just beginning to put things together. Like this Veteran’s day thing. I knew the day had something to do with the army or with the military or something like that but nothing was in focus. But I had a moment of clarity though: I was on the North side of the stadium just walking with the crowd. I may have been mouthing off or acting a little rowdy when something back into the back of me. I turned, maybe a little defiant and there facing me was a guy dressed in olive drab fatigues, jump boots and a green beret. I stopped and stared and he walked on by. This was the first real solidier think I ever saw. I had seen the “Rotcies” and my share of Guardsmen but this was the real deal. This guy just emanated danger. He new stuff I could tell he knew real stuff. I got out of his way.

I don’t remember anything else about that day except Mr green beret. He was a Beret right after JFK had established the corp. It still meant something then. Not the watered down version of LBJ’s great society. He was there before it got real hot in S.E.Asia. He has always been my veterans day icon. Happy Veterans Day!

Veterans Day Observed

Tomorrow is Veterans Day, Saturday but as a State employee I had today off. How lucky am I ? My holiday turned out to be a cool, but dry Autumn day. I wa surprised when I stepped/rolled outside my front door and the flags were not out on everyones front yard. but my own. I am sure we have been labeled the nghborhood anarchists because we have not succumbed to the local scout troupe which ha strong armed the neighborhood for yearly donation and in return the kids show up early on the day o the holiday and plant an American flag on your front lawn. What I have seen over the years it’ the one guy who has the misfortune to be the scout master. He drives his pick-up round the neighborhood while two or three scouts pull out rolled up flags and run the flags out to the yard. The scene is run in reverse at sunset. The flags were not out this morning and then I realized I bet they are out tomorrow which is really Veterans Day.

Mark A and my granddaughter came over today and I drug them up to visit their grandmother at the care center. My mom is looking very good, as healthy as I have seen her in a long time. We had a good visit and she has only used her new power chair once since she got it and that was to go to church last Sunday. She says she has no where to go so the chair just sit there like E. Allen Poe’s The Raven. When we had to leave I asked her if there anything I could get for her—she looked at me and said, “ You can get me out of here!” then she laughed as if to say maws only kidding I don’t think she was kidding though I don’t think she was kidding one bit.

Friday Holiday Going Away Lunch

Tomorrow is Veterans Day one of those holidays which is not holiday for some yet is for others. I am lucky that for me I am one of the others I have tomorrow off and the whole office has been in a rare form of excitement. One of the few remaining staff left yesterday for an out of state family visit leaving the skeleton crew. We have our monthly council meeting Tuesday and everyone is focused on getting materials and the office ready for the meeting. We are taking phone calls, infact there have been a lot of counsel members RSVPing the meeting, some getting their travel arrangements made as well as then usual calls.

The storm moved into the area last night and I could hear sleet and rain beating against then bedroom window this morning . The morning was dark, windy and raining here in my office. I have the heater cranked up, I have coffee made and NPR playing in background. I mentioned, around 11:00 A.M., that I could sure get into some spaghetti and meatballs for lunch. I was serious as anyone could be sitting in a warm office and was not going leave for anything especially for lunch. But I must have struck a cord because soon the remaining staff were also extremely interested in spaghetti and meat balls and soon everyone on staff was calling round our neighborhood trying to find the least expensive Italian take out. We finally found place across the street at the Gateway Mall. A place I would not have chosen but I was welling to go along with the crowd. I figured Spaghetti and meat balls was spaghetti meat balls. Then the boss said she would pay for the meal—how could you go wrong?

Biaggi’s is the place we ended up ordering the meal from and all in all the meal was not bad at least mine was not bad. I was the only one who ended up with S&MBs . There was no meat balls in mine and hardly any meat if any in the sauce BUT I did not pay for it and I did not have to go get the meal. The place is just to fancy dancy for me. The Spaghetti was OK, I plan to take the remainder home and mix some fried ground beef I have frozen. I think this addition will push the “take home” into the great left over category. You know how sometimes you have to justify things in order to do things? Well, Shane who is our current contract analyst is moving on “Jumping ship” and at the staff meeting earlier this week Shane indicated that he did not want the customary last meal. We said Ok, but and went on with the staff meeting. Then this morning realized Shane’s departure was a great reason to do this communal lunch.

We had lunch, broke bread and enjoyed each others company and paid respects to a departing employee. The phones rang and the wave of people started wondering in for a meeting which was scheduled for 1:00 pm. We gulped our meals and got back to work. The rain has moved on but the clouds linger, threatening more rain late on. The temps have dived to the upper 30’s. I believe tonight will be cold and I had better double my covers. I got wind of more possible family issues but these will work themselves out, Thanksgiving will come and go and we will be just fine. I had a meeting at 3:00 I have missed but the meeting was just an Open House, nothing to vote on, I don’t feel too bad. I think I am needed more here at the office this afternoon then being put in the community.

Indian Summer

I thought about writing some stuff about the results of the elections but actually there is enough going on in the media I doubt there needs to be yet another blogladyte out there rambling on about the great change on the political horizon. Suffice it to say that we did it…we sent the man in the Whitehouse a message and looks like he got the point.

Today is Wednesday the end of a three day run of perfect weather. Beautiful bright sun driven days—the true Indian Summer—70 degree weather. I went out at lunch and ran across town in my electric wheelchair, perfect. Even though the temperature was 70 degree the wind was picking up as a front approached Salt lake. The wind was whipping the trees and the leaves were coming off in gumps. Even as I type I see the clouds are flowing in, patchy gray clouds which promise rin, snow and lower temps. Lucky for me I have meetings in the late afternoon so I was planning on bringing my van in tomorrow which is good since the rain should be in town maybe even snow and a lot cooler. Then Friday I am off for Veterans Day. I have nothing planned for the holiday just kicking back washing clothes and hanging out. Maybe a visit to my mom’s but I may do that on Saturday.

I continue to experience pain in various parts of my body. I am going to have to check in with my doc of with some sort of physical therapist to get some attention to my shoulder. My transfers are getting dangerous. I have not fallen but I can tell I am in jeopardy. This morning I had a real difficult time dressing. I am wondering if this increased pain has anything to do with the rain coming into the area. Regardless, I have to do something which will allow me to continue at my level of independence.

The receptionist left for the air port at lunch for a trip to the coast for the weekend. We have a major meeting coming up next Tuesday. Now,with my partner gone any form of secretarial back up is gone. There are now three people in the office this afternoon, sitting in silent desperation, as the end of the day closes in. A million things need to be done by Tuesday but nothing is being done. I think I’ll wonder to the back in a few and start stocking the fridge with pop. Our council loves having their pop with their lunch. We feed these folks on Council day. This Tuesday we are having a complete turkey dinner with the exception of dressing but everything else. Shane the book keeper leaves at the end of next week then we’ll really be low staffed. The boss wants to change some of the job descriptions around so there will be better consumer program support. I do not fore see any of these changes having anything to do with me but I am open.

I gotta go fill the fridge.

Election Day

I was pleasantly surprised this morning at how well the vote , at least Dianne’s and my voting, experience went. We were at our polling place by 6:45 a.m. and out on the road by 15 minutes after 7:00 a.m. I was pleased and impressed at the Seniors who are also the Election Judges worked the new gadgetry  or the electronic voting machines.  I think the voting machines are OK , however, I am not impressed by their lack or privacy of this type of voting and the accessibility to the machine left some to be desired  in my opinion.  I did have some senior moments of my own as far as trying to understand the technology and trying to get through all the pages especially the “print” aspect.  It seemed like it took for ever for me to realize one had to print each page.  I , at one point, thought I three of four different voting tallies as the machine printed each page of the ballot. The event took longer  then a paper ballot  but I can see potential and the things to come. I have been listening  to NPR off and on all morning and to the news updates broadcast over WQXR out of NYC and there has been a lot of reporting of how poorly the electronic system is working.  However, from what I saw and what I experienced I think that my exposure to electronic voting left me with a positive feeling.  I think once the election judges get more experience from start to finish the process will take hold and become the way of things electoral.

Since our polling place is very close to the 53rd street train station I had Dianne drop me off an I would be on my way to work. I was fortunate in as I got to the  loading the University train pulled in. This was OK I figured I could ride this train to the Courthouse stop get off and catch the next Delta station bound train.  This was one of the “dog trains” they are real junkers and I got past the forty fifth station and I almost got to the 33rd Station and the train’s brake seized and the train abruptly stopped. Lucky for me we were not traveling fast and there was just a strong lurching stop and stopped we stayed for the next half hour or so.  I was a little worried too because I had not gone to the bathroom in some time  and I knew I was coming do and I just did not know when.  Bear in mind that because the cars on the Salt Lake City trains are ”step ups” if you are in a wheelchair you can only de-board at specific places which are the min-high blocks and the train was 10 to 20 feet past a block.. The driver was finally able to get looks to this one car un seized and disengaged us from the rest of the train and was able to train up to the blocks and I was able to get off. So the main part of the train was still dead on the tracks but I was told a North bound  was coming ad that I should go to the opposite end of the station for the high blocks there and I would be able to catch the train there.  This did not make sense but away I went and sure enough the next two trains passed me up  and I was becoming pissed. Not only was I still miles away from a bathroom  and I sensed my bladder filling but I was also beginning to get cold and I was quickly becoming late for work.  I( was beginning to get very noisy and I used to never get noisy.  I used to be so nice and accommodating but not any more.  One of the train cops was dispatched to get me under control. Once I told him he understood and sure enough get gone me on the next train. I was only 30 minutes  late for work.  The “man” still thinks because I am in a wheelchair I do not count as much as anyone else and believe me I have places to go to too.

Get Ready to Vote

When I was working with Independent( 1984-1998) living I really became aware of the importance of voting. Up until that time I considered voting a bit of a pin in the but. It was one of those things I knew a person was supposed to do but rarely did. Sort of like reading the Opinion Page in the news paper. Many Sundays I tried to read these page but would soon be defeated by the amount of words.

I was exposed to the political process during my time at the independent living center. I, for the first time, got a feel for the process how bad bills and legislation hurt people and specifically people with disabilities. Everything from housing to transportation seemed to be predicated on the vote. People who made major descisions effecting my life were voted into place and tended to stay there until they were voted out. I soon became involved in “Get out the vote campaigns” and I began activating for accessible polling places. Voting became a big deal for me a quasi sacred responsibility. I am now amazed that I get one hour to vote—from my employer and in other countries voting day is a national holiday. I was shocked when I over heard my boss speaking with one of our members of DD Council if he was going to vote. He replied he did not think he was going to that event was just too much bother. It was great…the whole office went silent as the staff digested what had just been said. Here was one of the Council members, granted a person with a developmental disability but high functioning, someone because of his position( even though volunteer) should be leading the charge to the voting booth tomorrow but instead was not sure if he was even going to show up. I cannot blame him for not wanting to vote for not being excited to vote; I must blame myself, I obviously have not been doing my job or life correctly to not have infected this person with a passion to take part in the electoral process.

Even though this is an “off season” election I think this election is very important nationally because the country has an opportunity to take itself back from the radical conservatives who are killing another generation of Americans as will as financially raping the poor, the elderly and the disabled of this country.

I am going to do my part. Tomorrow I am getting up early and going down to my polling place before work. I plan to be there when they open up. We have been there when the pools have opened for the past 14 years. I am usually the first name in the election log for our precinct. I am planning to vote on the new machines, the computerized system, which are to be accessible to all.

Here’s a great website( not related to voting but related to art) http://faceit.si.edu/.

I really like the way the site provides you with the head to do artsy things with. Try it…its fun…VOTE BLUE!

Family

The weekends go so fast. Sunday afternoon already on a very busy weekend and I am trying to get the energy to write my 500 words but I don’t know if I am going to get out that many today lets just see. We did dinner again last night after the the power chair delivery. Mom was invited but was too tired and stayed in. We ended up going to Mc Graffs: fish and chips and some really good conversation. There was eight of us, four couples all adults. Diverse in in-laws with a common base for the sibs spread over sixty years an excerise in perspective. My older brother’s view of what I call “Mom and Dad” is totally different from the vision and experiences I have then add the perspective of my brother Paul’s daughter Brennan and quite a tapestry is woven during this meal. What I took away from the gathering was good feelings, warm feelings over all. I enjoyed watching my niece and her husband, still new husband, by family standards. They are young and very cute and look like great addition to the family. Cameron is the lads name. He is a Christian as is his wife, my niece. He is in construction with his dad. They build homes I assume similar to what my brother does. Big homes wonderful living spaces designed to and sell big. I think Cameron and his did do OK in their business. I overheard during the meal they build together, just Cameron and his dad and they are close. Cameron is cute, funny and intelligent. Brenna did well.

Last night was to be my treat. Had been bracing myself for payment of the meal since breakfast where Paul paid. I stated then I would cover dinner. I say Brenna disappear about half way through dinner. I thought she looked a littly foxy but paid no attention to the event until later when my “plastic” was refused with the explaination “ I am sorry, sir, but he bill has already been paid in full.” The young couple had covered the event I was chagrinned.

Paul and Connie was going to stop by the house this morning and say goodbye . when they called Dianne and I had not eaten breakfast yet and neither had Connie and Paul so we rendezvoused at the local Village Inn. We had a great breakfast filled with great conversation and more discussion about family, history and nuances of various family members. I am really pleased Paul and Connie stopped by. I had promised Paul I would I would get him checked out with a web camera so we can IM in style. Paul and I have been IMing more and I think the little brother ready to move up to the next step in technology. I realized last night that Paul was going to get out of town with out even talking about this equipment. I was able to get the to stop at the local CompUSA and I think we found a camera which will work just fine.

This was a busy, tiring but fulfilling weekend. This was a weekend about family.

A Little Red Chair

I was exhausted when my head hit the pillow last night. The day had been full lots of emotion with work issues, the separation of two colleagues, a quick movie and then dinner. Plus my little brother came into town and yesterday and my mom got her motorized wheelchair. I think I am beginning to physicially debilitate. I woke with, not a sore throat but some going on in then back of my throat along with seems some sinus distress.

I think I slept well and I think I basically slept through the night which is rare for me. Waking this morning at 7:00 when my brother, Paul, called. I am usually and going by 7:00 brewed and well into my first hour of NPR. This morning I was sleeping deep with a scratchy throat as well. I called my brother back and we figured out the day meeting up at my mom’s at 11:00 for the arrival of the new chair.

Today is a cold Saturday: gray skies and rain. It’s not snow cold today but cold enough to wear a jacket and a hat. We met my brother and his family at a place not far from my mom’s place( euphemism for Long term care facility, i.e. nursing home) I am finding it difficult verbalize where she is. My brother spent the night at his daughter’s inlaws place all the way across the valley. But we all arrived at the restaurant with no one problems what so ever. It’s the weekend an like night waiting for dinner there was a bit of a wait for breakfast after all we needed a table for six. My older brother Carl his wife Jeane, my brother Paul and his wife Connie and daughter Brenna and her husband Cameron joined Dianne at the table. Good, hot food, hot coffee and conversation mandatory pictures and then off to Mom’s.

Mom may have known we were coming but I don’t know if she was ready for us, ALL OF US! She is in a single room with one chair. One of the kids grabbed some chairs from the solarium(sp). We were crowded but seemed fine. Mom did have the heat cranked up in her room( which felt fine to me) but put some of the other to sleep. But think we had a good visit. Round noon the wheelchair guy came bringing mom’s power chair. A small mid-wheel drive power chair with surprisingly good speed and should be just the thing mom needs to navigate the quite spread out halls of the care facility.

Carl helped my mom into her new red chair, showed her the control and explained to basics then turned chair to it slowest speed and let mom start learning the chair. I bet with in five minutes my mother was getting the hang of the chair and was cruising the halls. Soon after she started getting tired; She needed to rest. We all backed away the room. We struggled trying to agree on a place to meet for dinner. We still have not and have to see if mom will join us or not. Dianne is sleeping and I am waiting for the call for another meal at another restaurant. My throat is still a little tender but I feel I am getting a little of a second wind and I am looking forward to an interesting night.

Seize The Moment

It’s Friday afternoon and I just got an email from the guy who works next to me giving his two week notice: in an office our size that is two fifths of our staff. We are down to three and a half people. So this is going to be an interesting couple of months running up to the end of the year. We might be able to hire from with in our ranks for the account position but then we would still have my partner’s position and a program position to fill. This kind of out flow almost gives me a bit of the wonder lust is it time to search a new position. I could start the new year with a new job butt hat is so much work and really I like what I do here. I would like more money but a full time job with benefits right now and a window on the West is OK.

Te office is in kind of shock right now with bookeeper’s bomb falling right after lunch. This is the guy who reminds me of SHREK. We were just getting over the transition activities from my partner leaving. It was weird enough yesterday her not even coming into work but then we had her going away lunch for her in absentia. So when she showed up for work this morning I was a bit surprised. My boss pulled the staff together for a final going away event for the girl, Halloween candy the mandatory signed card and a rock with “Carpi Diem” emblazed accoss the stone. The going away party sort of turned into a staff meeting and discussions wondered totally away from our departing workmate. The discussions had nothing to do with me so she and I wondered away from the event. She said something like she was out of there at 10:00 O-clock. I got caught up with calls and such and then I noticed she was gone and that was that. So I was a little more then starteled when the boss asked after lunch when this person was coming back for the exit interview? I piped up that I didn’t she as coming back. I said when I was talking with her after the function I saw her take the keys off her ring and place them on her desk. It all looked pretty final to me…and it was.

So in the time I have been at this position I have had three partners. One left because there was too much tension in the office, the other left cause she was just nuts and now Short Cake for a bunch of reasons including not enough money, secretary hate, probably boss hate and finially I sort of think we are a bit too liberal for this little girl. She got hired at one of the local housing authorities. One of my best friends runs the place and I know a lot of his staff are single moms who are pretty damn tough. Most single moms I know are liberal just because they have to be liberal to survivie. I think they’ll train her up very well. Carpi Diem!

Separation Anxiety

Some days I just struggle trying to dress then trying to stay dressed. I know I have often brayed the sentiment of how life would be some much more simple if we were just nudists. No having to choose outfits, then actually dress. I have heard the arguments of how ugly a world everyone being naked would be. Ugly or not the world would be a lot easier for me to live in. I just got back from the bathroom and I look a fright. I struggled in the confines of the commode stall just trying to pull my pants up and get them situated on my pathetic frame so I looks presentable enough to scurry back to my office and rearrange again. In the mean time in the bathroom I spazzed so hard I kicked my shoe off. I was exhausted by the pants operation I and to use my leg hook to pull my leg up to slip on my shoe.

What really exhausts me is if anything dressing and my other ADLs is just going to get more and more difficult as I age. I try to stave off this eventuality by developing more and more pieces of low-tech assistive technology that help me. The leg hooks for one. The tube booms (inner tubes I used to hoist my legs up to my lap so that I might put on socks and shoes. Did I mention my “sock sticks” for winter dressing: smaller flat pieces of wood I used to drag the sock over my heels.

Usually once get myself fairly well dressed, at least presentable; I used to stay that way. The pain I have been having in my back has forced me to switch chairs once I get to work. Doing this really messes me up and I have to “put myself” all over again when I get to where I am going. A trick I have used over the years which is sort of peculiar just to me has been the ability to produce a controlled spasm which allows me to pull up my pants to a presentable fashion. Now I am noticing between the pain in left shoulder and a general weakening I am sensing over my body I can no longer get the lift(on command) I am used to. I am even beginning to explore the option of retuning to the osteopathic surgeon to reconsider shoulder options or maybe before that step is taken I will try the physical therapy option again. Maybe with a little exercise and commitment on my part I will do just fine.

Tomorrow is my office partners last day or should have been. We had her going away lunch today at the Olive Garden. She never showed up—actually she did not even make it in for work today. She called me and said she had had a poor night and had over slept but she would be as soon as possible. She must have gone back to sleep and slept hard. I kinda think she is done with this office. I sensed that yesterday during a sort of exit interview. Too bad it was a great lunch. I have the Russians tonight so it’s my long day…I got to pace myself.