One of my chronics was evicted from her house yesterday. I was not surprised. What I was surprised at was that it took the property owner so long to do the deed. This person, who was evicted, is actually one of my favorite callers. She’s bright, focused and maybe more then a little mentally ill. When this whole eviction things started back in the summer I think the caller was just depressed with a touch of suicide but this disease has boiled into what I don’t know at this point. In the past couple of weeks her call frequency has escalated to maybe three calls a day—where this is great for our numbers listening and interacting with this caller has been heartbreaking. There is no way on Earth this is going is going to turn out good for this caller. The possible exception being she has witnessed her complete belief system crumble before her eyes. Even though she has denounced her faith and has fallen to taking verbal pop-shots at her spiritual leaders I kind a of think she is still waiting for a miracle: an angel to swoop and take the life of her land lord or for a deed in her same to appear in her name for the house she is leaving in.
Everyday, when she calls, I ask her if she found a place to move and she would respond “I am not moving” “ I cannot believe I have all my stuff here. I will die here before I move.” One of the other places she calls chronically is the Suicide Hot-Line. So I know that somewhere someone has compiled a pretty large folder on the girl. I think the Suicide line has sent the cops out a couple of times at least fire engines embaressing as this has been for her she still does not think her eviction will take place. Then yesterday she got the notice delivered and I think reality began to drip in on her. The girls swears she is not vacating but I sense something in her voice which an edge sharpened by desperation. Tomorrow, I believe, is the last day of her “three day evicition” Sherriffs or their representatives will physically enter her home and remove her and her belongings to the curb of the street outside her house. This person is an academic, university trained, she has tons of books and writings. If she looses these items she says her life is not worth living. I know a couple of weeks ago she was searching for searching for a gasoline can, I also know she has my blue handled sledge hammer and she has stated that she would destroy as much of this property as she could before being forced to leave. I think she just might.
It’s almost three o clock and I have not heard from her, neither has my partner and she is concerned too. We are thinking of calling the operators at Suicide Rescue but I really doubt if they would share any information with us.
So I sit here waiting for the phone to ring. I hope that the phone doe not ring because there would be nothing I could do to help this girl. We have tried to help her into a better environment all summer long and she has chosen not to use our best services.. Still I hate to see her on the street or worse…on the slab.
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