Just Thinking

 

It takes me a long time to sweep I'm finding out. I put part of the blame on this power chair I am in in part to something physically happening to me most probably some function of age and aging with my specific disability. I sweep, sweep, sweep and I still cannot get all the dirt off the floor. Same is true when I try to use the dustpan to pick up what I have been able sweep together I get 98% of the dirt in the dustpan with that line of dust/dirt remaining that I just can't get regardless of how hard I try I guess I really wanted a clean the floor I would then use a mop or something to pick up the remaining pieces of dirt I'm just not that focused. It's Saturday night and I want to have the floors clean somewhat for Sunday. I know it's pretty stupid but it's just something I've been getting into lately trying to get everything ready for Sunday to start again on Monday. I also try to empty all the garbage cans put in new liners again having everything ready for Monday.

But it's the sweeping and perhaps physical things like that that's plagued me so much since my accident. I like to think I can do this as good as anybody else (able body people) but I just can't. It's only been within the last couple years and I've realized this especially when Mark Anthony comes over and does something been slaving over hours and he doesn't have a couple minutes. The same way with my home health people something that would take me an hour so they do and just 2 or 3 minutes. I slowly realizing that my disability does make a difference and I should not put so much validity on keeping things clean. I'm going to try not to harp on getting a cleaning person but that seems to be the focus of my thoughts right these days. Yet I want to see a clean apartment and I want to betray the illusion that I have a clean apartment and that I'm able to maintain such an entity. I don't know if it's true but I kind of think it's what people expect. The result notice as long as it's done but the due notice of it's not done so like our neighbors couple years ago when we couldn't cut the yard we buy mean Dianne and what of our neighbors actually called on the lawn service to come and do our yard it was humiliating. And I think I mentioned that my main home health person was the same person who often swept up cleaned off some of the countertops and cleaned the kitchen table with that little bit of help really helped make the apartment somewhat viewable by those on the outside. Until I can get someone fairly regular and someone who is affordable I will try to sweep the floors once a day at least and mop when I have to those spells that turn into sticky spots on the floor. The bathroom is another trip entirely with the routing between tiles black dirt. I've been sort of messing around the past couple of months with scrubbing with a long handled mop with a scrubber on the end. This is hard work but I just continue and do a little bit of the bathroom every couple days one day I'll have all the grout cleaned out in the floor looking somewhat respectable. Actually, if I just sweep and then put water on the floor mop and a little bit let it dry or dry it with rags on the end of a mop then let it dry floors respectable and not so gross. I try to use a lot of disinfectant on the floor just to keep things odor freend again like I say to prolong the illusion that I'd like everybody else…