Circling The Drain

I did okay this morning. I love it when I can get a second sleep. I called the second sleep the sleep I get into following a very early wake-up after just a few hours sleep. I suffer from this a lot but every once in a while I wake up very early like 3:30 AM and unable to get back to sleep and if I get another 60 to 90 minutes I'm amazed at how well I feel the rest of the day how delicious it feels to wake up from that second sleep. As I said today, I got a second sleep and when I did wake up my mind was racing and I had the weirdest sensation/prompting/ideas for a blog post. Which would be today's.

I've typically stayed away from any postings about the leader of our country right now. I think the guy has really got his tit in the ringer. I don't know why I had this vision but I saw the president last couple of images that's been posted of him standing holding onto the podium with both hands and having that desecration smile that happens when you just trying to get through to the end of his job.

I was really going to town on my thoughts I was thinking like a boss,Like who's going to hire this guy after he loses his job. With the new boss actually ask when Donald applies for the next job “ Does he have any priors?” I mean this guy has all the appearances of a man going down the tubes, He is circling the drain, anyone who's ever been removed from a job one reason or another in a a state or federal job knows the process understands of the situation the current Commander in Chief is going through. It's a matter of time now no matter what happens I think the guys out of here. At this point everything is just fluff, let's see his profile on the news ,a man standing at a podium grinding his teeth head down wondering how he got to this position in life. What did they promise him in the background when they told him that they could make him president of the United States?

You understand I recognize his position. I've been there, certainly not on the national or international stage but in that position where you're at your job and everything seems to be going wrong the matter what you do and all you're doing is trying to swim to the edge of the pool and stay out of the drain. The swimming is slim but sooner or later you just get tired and you let go and suddenly you're gone.

Not saying I like the guy, I don't and I'm glad he's in the cycle antes heading down the drain. I'm just saying I understand that look in his eyes but I see when they publish images of him talking to his constituency trying to convince them as well as himself that he's okay and everything's on line and tomorrow everything will be better. He never tells them About deals he's made with certain men in black, the puppet masters, the string pullers, that shadow group that's always in the back of every Stephen King novel. Their live in their out there and I'm just saying I recognize that look in the commanders eyes…

Art Of Dying

Peter Peter Schjeldahl

It's 7:30 PM and that means winter has officially started in this hemisphere! I know I've read a lot about winter solstice before but I just have to acknowledge how grateful I am that the days of darkness are early darkness anyway are done in from now until June the hours of daylight will be lengthening each day little by little until the light and heat of the new year is upon me. Dianne is my scout. Dianne reads voraciously and she's always scouring the Internet and Is always coming up with interesting and fulfilling bits of information. Today is about this writer was written a book about death action about his death which is coming shortly. Interestingly enough Dianne brought this to my attention but I had already heard a interview with this guy Peter something on Saturday Edition this morning on National Public Radio. The guy is a theater critic for the New Yorker! I'll try to dig out his name and listed it somewhere in this posting. It's not some academic treaty on that are anything like that but this guys feelings on his impending doom. As I understand the situation is that he has some kind of cancer or other critical death thing. He's a bit of a humorist and I believe that's why Dianne sent the article over to me. She says he sounds a lot like me or I sound like him. I don't know if I had a terminal disease if I would be as upbeat as this guy is our seemingly upbeat. The article is huge just what New Yorkers love, I shouldn't just say New Yorkers since it's quite a national magazine. But I get the impression New Yorkers like to indulge themselves on long wandering pieces of literature. Dianne reads extremely fast I'm always amazed how quickly she reads in the level of retention she's able to enjoy. Me, I take forever to read. I got through this article and am so pleased that I did, because I found this great device and I don't know if it's offered through The New Yorker Or Google. However it is a reader! It actually reads the material which allows me to follow along which I was able to do all the way to the end of the article. I know I would never been able to do such if I was trying to read it. Possibly, if I had a couple days to read this and agreed that. I would just hope I would be able to retain my focus on the document to its completion. I was able to do that today though which I think is great. Okay I went back and checked the guys name is Peter Schjeldah and he is the art critic for the New Yorker magazine. I think the title of his article is “The Art Of Dying”. He wanders through major parts of his life and how everything is winding up at this and. Oddly enough there's a bit of a upbeat feeling to the document. He's on some sort of regimen that's allowing him to buy a little more time. The guys kind of hilarious. He smoked all of his life and he is glad that he did. I like that I can understand that. I was still be smoking if I thought I would not end up on some sort of a reading device if I had stopped. He was also an alcoholic he was just plain creative and artistic and was able to pull off a really interesting life. He sounded really interesting like somebody you'd like to know. Actually, I am so fortunate that I have known this person in the other people who have been in my life. They're all like him: David Fix, Dan Roads, Dr. McIntyre, Max Gift. They're all dead however. It's a good read, I definitely recommend it to anyone. Made even be a good laugh…

My "Precious"

I was going to write about my friend Tom Cantrell and hot and this I was of him when I was growing up in his affinity for tobacco or at least one pipe and a girlfriend who sent him a card the cigarettes one Christmas to his locker. I just thought that was so cool. However, an event happened during the day I just can't shake.

Really a new week is a notice on the manager's door requesting people who had heaters to return them to the office. It seems like I wrote about this earlier but when I first received this item during the summer I'd requested a cooling device and this is what I got. Later I found out that it actually also worked as a heater. I've been using it ever since. I should've returned the machine as soon as maintenance got my air-conditioner maintained and operational but I liked the device so much that I just hung onto it. Anyway with just a little bit the guilt I decided to fess up to the manager that I still have my errant heating and cooling device which I did. Her name is Jennifer and she's a great manager. Jennifer of course had forgotten that I had the unit and asked if I still needed at. I was honest and said no but I sure enjoy it she said well go ahead and keep it until we need it no big deal. The sound good to me, since I could take the bank… Or so I thought.

This evening I was doing the wash in the wanderer is right next to the manager's office. It was after hours so Jennifer was gone and the on-site R/A resident advisor whose name is Diana. It's her job to fill in for Jennifer and her absence or overnight or on weekends. Diana and I have always seem to get along together. She's significantly older than I am and I guess she does a fairly decent job as the R/A. Anyway, I was a bit taken aback when as I passed her she stopped and turned around and called my name but of course I responded. She informed me that I needed to relinquish the heater as soon as I could. I advised Diana that I'd spoken already with Jennifer and Jennifer said it was all right for me to keep this piece of equipment. Thus when Diana said to con you know the power trip motif which Jessica can irritated me. Because in all honesty I really ready to give up the heater. And truth be told I'm kind of looking into purchasing my own glad you like the heat during the winter it provides will I work my computer station. So, identify be taken the stupid thing back tonight had my cleaning person not dropped my clothes in the cleaning water will she was washing my blinds. The gloves were soaked so now I'm using the heater as a dryer. So tomorrow, I will take the heater down to Diana's apartment and be rid of the equipment. I'm halfway tempted to hold onto it until Monday when Jennifer should be back in her office and return it to Jennifer. I always want to have Diana write me a receipt but I don't know if that will give her all defensive. What a pain.

I don't know why I want to attack the poor lady, which am sure she feels is just doing her job. It was interesting that Jennifer remarked when I advised her that I still had the heater that I was the only one who'd responded in this fashion. I thought that was peculiar. I mean I continue to fantasize all these weird scenarios where I stick it to her for taking my heater I don't even want the heater. I don't even need the heater I just kind of got addicted to it like opioids. It's my “Precious” and Diana is good old Bilbo…

One More Holiday Function

Every time I go into the area online where my blog is kept I get irritated. I go back as far as I can which is December 31, 2005. Blogger says that's when I started blogging but I know that it's not I started years before. I don't know what years means three for five years before. I started blogging, really when we're in the old building just off fifth East the building we shared with Department Determination Services DDS of the Social Security Administration. The reason I know this is because that's when I started working with the state in 1998. I transitioned from the independent living center. I kept a journal on my computer but that journal was not a blog. Sadly I lost the journal somewhere along the line. And I didn't start blogging today took over the reign of Access Utah Network. I had access to the Internet! I had a T1 connection it was fast. I spent my days when not on the phone answering questions cruising around the Internet and that's when I first became exposed to blogs. I'd been hearing of blogs but I wasn't quite sure what I was reading were blogs. I soon figured out they were. I wasn't sure what I was doing when I started my first blog. I'd gotten involved in reading the blog of a young medical student who I followed through the last of her medical school and then her training, residency in turn etc. Soon had taken off as a full-fledged blogger. I'm sure about like this before somewhere in this blog possibly numerous times but my main goal on the blog was to write 500 words a day, every day. I did pretty well I've done pretty well. The writing the 500 words used to threaten me because I'm not sure if I would be able to fulfill that personal commitment to myself and come up with 500 words of content. However, I've done pretty well I believe over the years.

Nobody reads my blog and that's okay. I probably have about seven or eight readers that are constant family members in such then I have a group of friends that periodically dip into the blog. Every once in a while somebody leaves a comment. But it's out there every day something new or kind of new. I have over 3000 posts now and that is significant to me. This tells me I could write a book (like I know I could write a book I just didn't know if I could be consistent posting which is like being consistent writing so I know I can do it now). So, I guess I can stop blogging but I don't think that's going to happen. Blogging, journalizing is my lifeblood. I don't feel accomplished now, especially in my “golden years” unless I blog for the day. Dianne, my best friend, says my blog makes her laugh and that makes me happy. Not that I'm a nice guy is important to me that someone thinks I'm funny, I guess. I don't know if Dianne reads every day, but she probably does, this something to read she's on it she's incredibly brilliant. So smart.

Today, once again I starred as Santa Claus,At the independent living center annual holiday function. I've done this every year for over 20 years, at least. I basically sit there have a person come up wish them a Merry Christmas and stuff whatever the shop pass from me to give them this year today was little cups of putting with pipe cleaner antlers sticking out. I hope we were not in violation is some sort of OSHA regulations. I enjoy the assignment. I enjoying meeting my old workmates and seeing them once again and thankful that they're still around and that I'm still around in that we all continued to talk to each other. Change is the only constant but the Christmas function hardly ever changes I don't know how that fits in the paradigm but it does. We had a real meal this year, not that we have not had in previous years but sometimes it's been really reaching. Today was a ham dinner with sliced ham (real ham not that pressed mystery meet ham stuff). The men felt somewhat rushed in a bit more chaotic than usual just because there was 150 new people touring the building today but I think we fed them all and we fed them well.…

Ho Ho Ho

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ajwSBuozVs

Today I had lunch with one of my friends from the acting company, 2^nd West Acting Company. I think I've discussed this before somewhere in the blog. However, she asked me what I was doing for Christmas. This was the second time I was asked that this day and I have to say that I had to report “nothing”, and that's okay. Really, World! It's not a big deal. A kind of used to it same scenario as Thanksgiving. There's no accessible homes that my wheelchair can accommodate (I don't know if that came out right but I think you know what I mean). Now, even if there were I would have difficulty getting there because I have no means of transportation other than public transit which is not running on the holiday. Luckily, I live in the fine year of 2019 just ahead of the roaring 20s, all over again, and I have texting, video chat which is really just like being there in so many ways except for tactically speaking. And really, touch can be somewhat overrated. I'm not sure what I'm doing for meal yet for that day but already am getting excited. I'm thinking of ham but I also like to think of the possibility of a nice piece of roast beef with a nice crust, mashed potatoes and gravy and something green. There's also the joy is something sweet as well. We'll have to see about that. But I can do all that here at the apartments and enjoy the holiday and not inconvenience anybody. Kids, they're all grown and they have families of their own and now have Christmas traditions of their own and I think that's just wonderful. Different families, different states, blended, adopted, separated and estranged it's hard to see people this time of year. I understand that no pressure, no pain and joy the holiday.

As for me and my house After I have finished with my home health person sense Christmas falls on one of the days that I have my aid come in (with holiday pay mind you) I will text, video text and Facebook I'm sure for a bit and then I plan to do some holiday viewing. I would like to see “Scrooged”, with Bill Murray. I love this version and try to watch it each year. I've already seen Holiday Inn, but since it's free maybe I watch it one more time or at least have the movie running in the background as I prattle around the apartment. For sure, however I'm going to watch The original “Die Hard” with Bruce Willis which I feel is the best Die Hard. I may watch a couple of the others I do have the DVDs that they're not quite as Christmasy as the original and maybe just maybe if I have the time or the endurance find the original “Home Alone”. I think that about Christmas me out if I can hack that many Christmas movies.

I still plan to hit the market for my grocery list three different kinds of potato chips, maybe a summer sausage and extra sharp cheddar cheese. I got a new canister of white cocoa mix and yesterday my dentist dropped off a bottle of eggnog so I'm set. I still have significant amount of time before I hit the market. I love this time of the year, I'm totally excited. I have lost my Santa hat and that's really okay I do want to be too dorky… Or creepy. I've got a few more emergency gifts to purchase you know the kind that you have next to the door so when people unexpectedly dropped by with gifts and such you have something to hand them like you meant to all along. Anyway, don't any of you worry about me I'm excited about the season, I'm set and ready to go… Ho, Ho, Ho Merry Christmas…

Softly With Crackers And Beer…

It's kind of weird, it's Tuesday the day that I usually have my Assist, Inc. meeting. Today we did not have a meeting. It does not surprise me I think we even talked about not meeting today at the last meeting we had but still I called in as I always do just to see. In fact all of the volunteer programs unaffiliated with slow down if not completely disappear over the holiday season. After all the real world continues on with the real world schedule. This time of year professionals who have vacation time accrued, overtime accrued or whatever tend to take them during this period. I don't begrudge them I knew that I did while I was in my work life and I love that time between Christmas and New Year's. However, festive/honorific of the holiday or whatever it still leaves a big gap in my life of what to do and how to fill that space.

I should see it as my Christmas gift, from those programs and boards that I serve on to myself. I could go shopping, I could take myself out to eat, take in a movie, a play are just wander around downtown at night looking at the lights maybe even wandered into the liquor store and enjoying the true celebrator's a Christmas. But you know just can't get myself up to do that. It's kind of a shame and a shame on me for wasting this valuable celebratory time I could be being Yuletide festive. I could be watching Amazon or Netflix there certainly a horde of viewing options there. I can even drag myself up to the movies, the real movies but there's not much playing right now that I want to see. Perhaps, next week during the real holiday maybe.

I love video chat. I cannot believe how great that technology is. I'm always amazed when I've had a session with somebody I really enjoy. I just hung up a chat that I have had with my old friend Dave, used to be my boss and Blackfoot Idaho. Dave is become an expatriate living in Mexico I'm so impressed that he is made the move. Dave lives on just the other side of the border he travels back and forth across the borderto do his business He consults and he also spends a lot of time teaching on the Internet site classes for an Internet University.He's really doing it all began believe it is left the “straight life behind”. He talked about one of his usual days, getting up late walking along the beach this breakfast and visiting with neighbors than setting down to grade papers or prepare his lecture for the video broadcast he does that evening as part of his Internet psych class. That's his day. He told me he feels tranquility/tranquil is the best way to describe him these days. It's like I spent an hour with him right here in my room visiting. Now, I feel I've done something productive with my day.

The clouds have moved on and the “Cloud River” has been replaced by a trough of Arctic air freezing the snot out of everything outside. I'm still wearing my shorts and getting lectured on by all the old fart's at the place here about how I will catch my death of cold if I don't watch out. Even but remaining professional staff seem be worried about my feet. I put on shoes to quell the comments. I'm even wearing a flannel wrap around my legs giving myself the most institutional look – – actually it's not true I do have a wool blanket which I think was my grandmother's dark plaid which would really give me that senior institutional, in the wheelchair look. However I think I will stick with my black flannel bah humbug.

Getting In The Mood…

It's cold now along the Wasatch front. Fall definitely now is nearly over In today's see more and more winter like. The best take away is that the cold temperature mixed with what moisture we have in the air is been cause for snow which has not been much (thank goodness) but enough to really get the feeling that Christmas is nearly here in the season is upon us. The time for me to want to be inside, homebound heater turned up (since I don't have a fireplace with a roaring fire) and just enjoying each day. Unable to do that to some degree just try not to let my conscious feel too guilty for not doing more for folks a Christmas. Actually, I think of written about the fact that I am a poor gifter.

I spoke with my son, Mark Anthony, tonight who in the course the conversation Was advising me about some family issues revolving around his daughter's birthday which was yesterday. That's right, my granddaughter, Jasmine had a birthday and of course I had no idea. I'm surprised I did not have this documented in Facebook one where the other. And I'll honestly I don't know what I would've done had I had a heads up that her birthday was imminent. I don't know why I just do not do well with these things. Now my brother Carl, is quite the role model he gives his grandkids cars for significant events of their lives. Carl truly is a role model. He totally blows my argument and possible copout that the grandfather doesn't do major events well. That celebrating these occasions is up to the grandmother. Dianne does this kind of support 100 times better than I.

There really is no excuse not in this day of electronics and multimedia. Amazon makes gifting easy not only for the purchase but to the delivery. Anything a person can think of our purchase could be delivered if you had the right address. Of course one has to worry about porch Pirates and if that were an issue I can always do the gifting copout of purchasing and emailing the grandchild a gift card for anything. Even just to get a to Amazon then let the drink you go wild within the constraints of the limits of the card. The gift card is truly the easiest and most antiseptic of the gifting solution. It lets the individual no that even if you forgot about them on their day he still thought enough of them to send the gift. In fact, I think I will do that. I already have sent gift cards as Christmas presents to one set of grandkids so and Amazon e-card should work as well.

I don't know how grandmothers do it. I have between four and six grandchildren and I cannot for the life of me keep track. My mother had grandkids for the double digits great grand kids in the triple digits and she seemed remember all of them even if it was just a card that's more than I've done. In my defense, if there be any, the stamp cost two cents in those days now it's half a dollar but there forever just like the birthdays…

The Big Swim Or You Can't Freak What You Don't See

I miss many things not being able-bodied, close dancing, karate, writing my name in the snow in one of the things I miss most is swimming or swim whenever I want to I feel like it. Now in order for me to swim I have to do some significant planning not only finding and accessible pool but getting there and back as well as changes in and out of my swim gear IE trunks.

I believe I close search of my blog posts should reveal a posting about how after my trauma and fusing of my neck I went to rehab and fall in the hover tank, one day I rolled off – – to the terror of my therapist – – and found I could really enjoy myself in the water. Later, when I got home, I was back to swimming at the canal with the help of friends at the bridge were I swam. The best thing I found about being disabled and being in the water was that the water greatly reduced my symptoms of disability. In fact in the water I could actually walk – – kind of – – and close dance with the most willing person. Water is my friend. One of the Enlightenment's that I shared with my occupational therapist, Nikki, the other day was my ongoing desire to get back in the water. However, in that same discussion I explained how difficult it is for me to even think about swimming during the winter months but now it have to be exposed to the cold temperatures while wet. Nikki seemed to understand that we're both perplexed possibly feeling that only swimming could be done during the summer months. Even during the summer months however there would be the issue of my swimming trunks. I would have to have them put on in the mornings that I have attendant care to get help dress me. Then I would still have the problem of getting back home and wet trunks.

I have been considering the idea of possibly paying for attendant care going to and from swimming. This could get pricey though. Still I could think about what it would take timewise to get in some source swimming routine since I have the option to use the Tosh pool. Swimming to be part of my wellness program but I have to be able to use the program independently and not tie up staff time which is understandable. This morning while lying in bed contemplating my Sunday is also contemplating my swimming issues. Then it came to me in a flash the only reason I worry about the wet trunks is because I'd be wearing them. What if I was not wearing them what if one way or the other I can take the trunks off independently? Seems to me if I can get a big and a pair of trunks I should be able to do that with an appropriate stick. Then I started thinking why do I have to put trunks back on? If I were able to use one of my flannel ponchos or like the robe Dianne made for me which is super modest I would be home free. It's not like people would know that I'm naked underneath the flannel poncho are robe they are just think I'm wearing my swimming gear! This could be a game changer I'm pretty excited to visit and share this with Nikki on my next Friday meeting.…

Lost Dreams

I really can't remember why I launched into a kata form At my occupational therapy treatment a couple weeks ago. It was really kind of weird because I really haven't done kata forms and I don't know how many decades. I'm surprised I remembered as much as I did at the Tosh facility. Whatever I did totally lit up Nikki's eyes. She thought I was totally cool I could tell. Not cool in like “I want to get to know this guy” cool in the respect that I can't believe what this guy keeps pulling out of his hat tricks. And this really is something that might be worthwhile looking into. I always wanted to do martial arts. I don't even know when I was first exposed to martial arts. Maybe, way back on the farm where the guys went our church was a big Hawaiian dude named Eddie Ho. Use a coach or something over at the local junior college. His big claim to fame was being a judo expert and Hawaiian pit cooking. Every couple years they would dig a hole in the back of the Ward yard and Eddie would cook the most delicious tasting barbecue I've ever had. I also remember watching some karate competitions on an old Saturday show called the ABC Wild World Of Sports. I was totally blown away. I didn't even think about asking my parents if I can be trained in martial arts I did think that was an option. I did notice one day and one of my comic books in the back for a dollar 97 you could get a course and corrupt a that came with the dummy that showed all the pressure points. I cannot believe they would send all that for one dollar and $.97. My older brother who I worshiped happened to be visiting at that point in time. He rarely visited that he was here than when the package arrived. A midsized brown envelope that had a mimeographed book that showed a number of karate stances and then a large folded chart of a felon with a gun pointed toward the observer then different pressure points on the individual and that was it. I was crestfallen my older brother kind of made fun of me which hurt even more. But I started trying to learn a little this thing had to offer I learned some things but not very much and that was about it. Growing up I got involved in wrestling and that was as close as I got until the number years after my accident when living in Blackfoot Idaho I happen to come across a karate class one Saturday morning while driving to a friends house. There's a group of about seven people in karate gi's going through the motions. I stop my car got my wheelchair out and rolled over and talk to the sensei. You is a great guy. He was a black belt (of course) but he was open to teaching me and we started. I can't even remember the style. It was not a hard style like shotakan. My training was very rudimentary. I can't even remember my sensei's name. He was very serious however and he taught me my ffirst kata form I worked on it diligently for possibly four months when I was finally awarded my first yellow bar on my white belt. That was as far as I got life intervened but I cherished my white belt with its little yellow piece of electric tape. When I ever went to my kata forms I felt good but I also felt how significant my disability was. I could not really do my rising blocks with the snap that the other folks used. When you go through a kata form you move in the form of an “I”. It's sort of complicated but not bad but it's really meant to walk through you lose a lot of the fact if you're in a power chair or a manual chair. But like I said when I asked went through this process for my occupational therapist her eyes lit up. She wants me to consider getting involved once again with martial arts. I don't know if I'm ready to do that commitment at this point my life are even want to put myself through that kind of physical stress especially to my body after what my first physiatrist said about me destroyed my joints at this point my life. Perhaps, this should be something I could do in my manual chair again. But even then I'm still putting unwanted stress on 70-year-old joints. Sadly, I've lost my dream of becoming proficient in martial arts. I can see now how unimportant that was her would've been at that time in my life. I was chasing a dream like a dog chasing the car when he could do if you catch it…

Getting Physical

I really thought today was going to be the last meeting with my occupational therapist Nikki especially after last week's session. I really got the impression that she wanted to be done with me and move on. I and the other hand really didn't care what we did I just want to use up by hours I had coming to me via my insurance. Today, was pretty interesting to me. We worked on the physical aspects of myself. Essentially we worked on the weight machines there at Tosh. I chose not to do the arm bike they have just because I'm so vested in my system here at the apartment. We tried to use the rickshaw to have their which I suppose is pretty good – – it's prettier than mine but not as good as mine I don't think. I learned quite a bit however. Nikki drilled into my head is not about the major left it's about a controlled left of many reps with less weight which kind of makes sense and certainly is less threatening than gut busting hundreds of pounds on the rickshaw. I like lifting heavier weights but Nikki is in the Riser M.D. Regarding my shoulders. Nikki not only is worried about my cuff s but my whole body particularly by spinal cord! I didn't pay much attention to her at first but she was so adamant it really is given me pause. Good bad or indifferent Nikki continues to be impressed with me which totally fuels me of course. She's open to exploring options physically but I might be able to pursue in the next year. As of this morning, I had two more visits this year on my insurance: next Friday and the Friday after that. It sounds like for going to use these times/hours to develop some sort of a physical plan for me to continue to strengthen and build endurance. She's most interested in me doing some more art stuff which is okay by me. However, I don't know how much I want to get back into the academics. I just want to do. We'll see what happens so come January and the new semester. I guess I sort of slipped and made the mistake and showing her my kata forms. I went through what I remembered of my basic kata she was totally impressed I hadn't thought about this in a long time. I actually used to do a Karate workout Every Saturday morning there and Blackfoot. I enjoyed it. Granted I was in a manual chair at the time trying to do that in a power chairs a whole different ball ask might be good to get back into the manual chair if I can. Anyway I got the impression that Nikki would really be open to me exploring options of the martial arts and adaptive training. Perhaps more exciting to me was the possibility of utilizing the swimming pool at Tosh. I guess I'd heard they did have a pool but it really think about being able to use that pool. However, I think I might. The only problem is how do I get in and out of swimming suits and such. These are things I have to contemplate in the back of my mind am wondering if it would be with pain somebody 23 bucks a session to dress me after the fact. But I kind of think exposure to swimming would be the best thing for me and so does Nikki. Lots to think about and lots to explore this last few weeks of December…

Like Playing Hookie

I'm not proud of myself but I cannot tell you how happy I was when I called the office today and found my Thursday afternoon bookclub had been canceled. I would've gone if they did have bookclub but the weather has been borderline foul. Not really bad but severely overcast and threatening rain or snow all day. I usually don't call to find out I just show up at the library,but today I did Call in glad that I did. Is able to stay home in the heat of the apartment.

If our bookclub was super active and we had a group of seven great folks then attending the bookclub regardless of the weather scenario would not be a problem. However, I've noticed in the past number of weeks a continual decline of participation of consumers or folks that we serve.. In fact the last couple weeks is mainly been staff from the DD Council. And that's a little frustrating. I'm trying not to take responsibility for such diminishing attendance but like I said in the past, many times once I get involved the program the program tends to implode on itself is that pathetic or what? So now I'm the Grim Reaper of the bookclub.

In fact, I really like the bookclub I really believe in the concept and power of reading. It really did not take me much to get behind this program. I was sore drafted into this position from my boss or my former boss who is the director of the DD Council here in Salt Lake. She's renowned for starting these kind projects and then spinning the projects off to cable folk. Where I did necessarily get stuck with running the program, thank goodness, I did feel a responsibility in helping keeping the project going. It's been kind of difficult trying to figure out just what I'm supposed be doing in this program since I'm not really affiliated technically with the DD Council anymore nor am I a member of the bookclub as a participant (as I see it). Maybe that's the joke is that I am one of the participants even though I see myself as not being developmentally disabled as the other participants. However, I am developmentally disabled by definition of the law because I had my major disability before the age of 18 are whatever that cutoff date is. So I could technically be an actual member of the group but boy I sure have a immediate step back from that particular level of involvement. That's just my silly pride. I liked reading with the guys in fact I'm so glad that I'm not necessarily in the more supervisory functions of the group. I'm sure those folks think I'm just another one of the DD folks that got sucked into reading every Thursday afternoon come rain or shine…

Going My Way?

I feel I did everything right—as right as a 68-year-old man somewhat befuddled in general can do something right. But I thought I cover the main points the biggest of which is I use a wheelchair, a big wheelchair with a motor on it for mobility. It's not a big deal but you think it would be something crucial for mobility company to be aware of. In the post yesterday I a somewhat briefly went over the fact that I was going to try the new Via, right on demand, system that Utah transit Authority is testing in the South and the Valley. Salt Lake. Now I'm going to go out of my way not to paint this as me being the martyr but I want to report a factual account.

The day is not half bad, the sun was shining but it was cold so I dressed accordingly. A warm jacket and a flannel blanket wrapped around my legs and a hat. I timed the buses from the schedule so I didn't have to wait too long and the elements. I tried to leave early but as things go I left about an hour and 10 minutes before my appointment. I caught my bus southbound And made it to the transit station in fairly good time still I didn't know how long it would take to catch the via vehicle once I got to the end of my route to 18 ride at about 11400 South Redwood Road. So I decided I would just drive my chair into the shop.

After it finished by business at the wheelchair shop I contacted Via, not bear in mind I went to the steps of not only contacting the organization/company but going through the process of registering and downloading the app for the program. I figure that pretty much touched all the bases. Actually the apps system is kind of cool if it really works. Took me a bit to understand. Since you registered with the organization it knows who you are and where you're at. You start your trip by confirming where your pickup point is, and of course they have that data because they've got you located by your cell phone coordinates, then you have to put new destination and what you've done that and the computer or whatever has everything set up you push the button that says confirm and it books here ride and charges your checking account/bank account or however you have it set up. It gives you the time expected which is about 3 ½ minutes which I was totally shocked. The computer also alerts your cell phone when you write is outside. That was the first red flag the ride was not outside it was way across the street which is a Big St., Redwood Road, the driver had the wrong address for some reason. I noticed this when I hit the confirm button and I thought it was just a computer glitch – – obviously it was – – I got counted as a no-show. I did flag the driver down and finally he saw me waving my arms frantically in my red jacket. He came over the shocked that I was in the power chair he said he didn't have means the transport me. So of course I'm on the phone talking to Via control who informs me that somehow the information that I was in a power chair was not entered into the system. The person then did enter in that information in three minutes later another vehicle shows up. It's another Mercedes-Benz type vehicle. It's probably an SUV, smaller than a van that big. The vehicle has no left it has a back and that the driver has to take the rear end sort of a part which opens up an area where you drive chair in and he locks you down, ties you up good. My driver had only five or six words of English down. “Hello Sir, goodbye Sir, how are you sir, I don't know sir,Other than that we are operating on hand gestures. He spoke no English. He seemed like a nice enough guy he was just unfamiliar with transporting a person with a disability. I am writing this off initially as learning curve. The organizations do the concept I guess is new and the bugs are being worked out. Once the driver figured out how to use the system and get me in and out of the back of the vehicle we were good to go. Forget the fact among the end of this variable large vehicle. There's no communication but I get to the place a one to go and that's what it's all about. I'll give the experience and 85% grade. I wish I had more reasons to go to the south end of the valley to try this system out some more. I do think it has potential and I do wish it was being implemented valley wide. The service can really make a difference. The cost of my ride was a dollar each way which is a deal she asked me. At my meeting today you talk Assistive Technology Program I brought up my experience that everyone was interested. They suggested I might contact the authority and volunteer to help them make the system better. I don't know how much I would want to volunteer but it certainly be open to looking at some form of consultation. I mean why not?…

A Little Bit Of Art

There's no question I'm a little rough around the edges. I would like to think that over the years I've smoothed some of those edges down to where my little more approachable. I don't think I really appreciated art much growing up. My older brother created smart which we actually had hanging in the house. I thought this was really cool but I actually think he is very cool, as well. So I had some art appreciation. I've been pretty excited all day. Dianne and I have been having the great communication the past couple weeks. One of things we talk about earliest I brought up was wondering if I might be able to borrow some of her art that she has around the Utahna house.

Dianne was the only person I think I have really ever known to had real art. Not that family art is not real it's is not famous are created by somebody known as famous. Dianne did. In a previous marriage Dianne and her husband collected a number of pieces of wall art. We had the art all over the house, on the walls in the living room, down the hallway even the kids rooms pieces of art hung there sprucing up the room and dividing the eye. I didn't know someone could actually get addicted to real art. I understand now how some people acquire and acquire and acquire more art even to the point where they put the art in a vault or in some source storage facility. They're going to enjoy the art at some other point in time. They're going to actually rotate the pieces throughout their lives. I can understand now why someone might do that or how they might do that.

Anyway, Dianne has allowed me to have a couple of pieces over for a “visit” and I'm totally excited. I'm now showing a Toulouse-Lautrec and a Marc Chagall I have another piece but I don't know who it's by but I love it very colorful only today after 20 years or more did I realize the colorful piece is actually an animal head of some sort I'd never noticed the teeth before I'm astounded. I have my very humble piece of art for which a been dragging around for years I have no idea who produced the piece but I call it the Matador in the mermaid. It's modern art given me by a neighbor I had 40 years ago at least. I've always cherished The piece. The Chagall knocked it off its coveted place in my living room and now the Matador lives in the bedroom which kind of makes sense now and I feel looks great. I requested these pieces for a six-month visit. I hope I do not get too attached. I think however in whatever time I have left on this dirt ball that may be I will even look at acquiring some art of my own. I'm very interested in Jean Dubuffet. Dubuffet is one of the brute artists which I really identify with and maybe I will consider purchasing one of his prints to hang on my walls.

My brother was so kind to stop by the house on Utahna and pick up these pieces and bring them over this afternoon and then of course went the extra mile and hung them up on the walls tastefully. I'm so lucky to have all these people in my life And now I actually have art too I feel my edges getting smoother…

It Don't Come Easy

I really had one project to do today, actually that's not true I had two. Run over to the market get a few things to get to the week (I know they said snow yesterday on the radio and the TV) and to wrestle down the process of using the new app the Utah transit Authority is pushing for demand transportation. It's not really a big deal but I have to roll quite a distance from the closest UTA bus stop in South Jordan to get to my wheelchair shop. This new program would send a vehicle picked me up at some point and take me to the future shop and I assume back again to that point.

The program is called Via, I don't know if the letters stand for anything or not, it's program you have to register for which means of course it's all modern fancy meeting you got a use and establish passwords and download apps to work on your cell phone or computer. I don't know why but the process is been very threatening to me. I started off by contacting the transit authority to switch the over to the program itself. They want you to set up an account to use the service. This means giving them your name and number and even some sort of means of plastic credit card are other form of payment. The little person on the phone made it sound like it is just easy thing to do but it wasn't for me and I may have been making a harder than the process deserved. This was just setting up the gateways like to get into the program. I downloaded the wrong at first there's a driver app and that's what I downloaded just not the right one and let me know that in no uncertain terms. This project was all been accomplished of course by multiple calls into the “support” center. Mary was the main person I seem to work with every time I called in with one-time exception of Simón. I mean really, I do have some tech skills or at least I like to think so. However, the questions I could trying to formulate and the way that I sounded I know I exemplified the out of touch senior citizen trying to use a phone system smarter than he. I'm hoping that with repetition the process will get easier. Right now the services offered just to programs way south of the city. Unlike the think that perhaps this demand ride system might be even more ubiquitous to the area. I don't really understand the process exactly. They say they're using wheelchair accessible vehicles-which in my case I'm going to need-but the system is supposedly a system like Lift or Uber which uses just regular people to drive people around. This is going to be interesting I think.

Tomorrow, I have a 10 o'clock appointment with my wheelchair shop. I've got to take two buses to get there route 217 and then 218. I have a significant wait some going to have to leave early. I was hoping to use the via system to go straight to the butcher shop from the 217 and the line or EOL. So I'm a little frustrated are a little frightened or maybe just a little old new things just don't come easy…

Family Of One

Remember on the Saturday before Thanksgiving? When I was at the food bank kind of expecting to get a turkey. I got one last year or even the year before. I was surprised at myself because I grown accustomed to the fact that it was Thanksgiving and I was just going to get a turkey. When I rolled up to the food bank all the other poor people are dragging out humongous turkeys, frozen butter balls tasty Tom's. They also had the bag of goodies that went along with it. The complete fixings for the Thanksgiving dinner. I suppose I'll exert a goofy when I rolled in their expecting my turkey. My buddies who work there again tried to load me up with cans of soup, dried beans, and all kinds of other carbohydrates. I smiled and tried to refuse as much of the food cargo as I could since our he had numerous bottles of peanut butter, dried beans for all sorts of flavors and rice, canned fruit and such. I try to let them down easy so don't think I'm such a jerk but you know I think I am anyway. Finally, we're getting to the end of the selections they were trying to foist on me and one of the women asked if they were going to give me my turkey and money other women, one who's been there for a while and knows the ropes told her that “no, he doesn't qualify is a family of one”. I don't know why but this really struck me like a good slap in the face. I flashed, for one second I wonder hurt this person who said that I was a family of one and therefore I didn't qualify for a frozen turkey. I said something like “that's okay, I just go across the street and buy what turkey at the market.” Clearly, I was trying to hurt their feelings and save my feelings is not face. For that period of time workers realized I was trying to do something and went back and came back with a package of frozen turkey burger patties and the pound frozen turkey ground. I almost laughed but accepted the frozen poultry and my big bag of fictions. The bag affixes is huge cans of evaporated milk, pumpkin, two kinds of dehydrated potatoes, turkey gravy package (just add water) cranberry sauce, stovetop turkey dressing, and on and on and on it was a good-sized bag of fixin's. I'm still embarrassed at my reaction about the turkey and family of one, for a second I certainly had become the worst version of myself.

That was a long lead-in but today I was thinking I wonder if a person was to take that turkey burger, add everything for dressing mix it all together and cook would it turn into turkey loaf? Since all the ingredients are there would it be just like Thanksgiving dinner at least the turkey and stuffing part. So in the excitement I went to work this afternoon. Early on I took the turkey burger out of the freezer and got I thawing. I found a stock of celery in the back of the refrigerator forgotten but still hanging on. It was pretty well dried out at least the outer stocks. I peeled the back and found three or four that was still viable. Chopped Em up, found the same with an onion that had stowed in refrigerator after the meatloaf I made last month. I was getting excited. I the ball of rubbed sage and all the ingredients to the top of the stove in the frying pan and sauté them. I added 2 cups of stovetop dressing in the mixing bowl added the sautéed vegetables and began mixing. I next added liquid for the dressing and mushed it altogether. I mixed a mixed and mixed and the mixture finally came together. I didn't really like the way that it looked but it certainly smelled like turkey and dressing. I found my glass pan and through the mixture in, Molded a loaf through everything in the oven.

I cut the hell out of the mixture. I think the first 30 minutes I was under cooking that I got worried reread the heating instructions and then conducted another 30 minutes at significantly higher level. Next I let the mixture set in the oven turned off the heat and waited for my concoction to cool. I did not want to risk dropping everything pulling a hot container from the oven. It worked. The loaf is golden brown. Whether that's appropriate that's the one look like. Reminded me of a meteor that had fallen the earth. I was somewhat related. I quickly cut the end off and another slice just to see how a cut. My turkey loaf does not taste bad. It kind of reminded me of a cooked version of the purée that I used to have to feed the kids in the clipboard at the state hospital. I did more than one Thanksgiving there and they would get this goop that smell just like Thanksgiving dinner. My turkey loaf smelled and fairly well tasted like Thanksgiving dinner. I ingested the end then cut another slice off just to see how will it cut it did okay. The whole thing would taste better with hot turkey gravy and I have gravy mix, that was part of my food bank box.

Have to admit I'm somewhat depressed of myself, again. I showed him I had a turkey dinner for family of one…

Look At Me I'm Down Here

I don't do well in public functions I've come to realize. I you think is pretty done good at doing the public awareness, mingle schmooze thing but I don't think I have those skills. Perhaps at one time I was a bit better than I am now but now I really know I'm just a wallflower. I went to the Assist function that I wrote about earlier in the week. I don't have a lot of good clothes oh I mean I have clothe which are clean and functional and cover-up all the essential parts. I don't have nice clothes, clothes that you wear to opening-night, parties, funerals, mission farewells etc. I guess I haven't had a need for them really and so I have none some a bit self-conscious when I go to these things. I didn't really worry about the assist, Inc. function because it's in the afternoon late afternoon and many people who contract with Assist to do their work dropped by the office on the way home to have cookies, punch, wine and a few other snacks. So, they don't really expect to the really dress-up though a lot of people do just the same. I tried to come middle-of-the-road. I found a warm ramp to put around my legs that had a winter motif and I wore a fairly decent top, one I rarely wear but found in the back of my closet.

I dawdled All afternoon killing time until it was time to dress up warmly and head into the city for my event. We're close to winter solstice now darkness comes quickly and early in the afternoon. The event started at four however, I got to the library about 4:30 PM checked out the cheap books and wandered around then decided it was time to go to the open house. But try to get in discreetly that David bounded to the door as soon as I tried to handle. There was already 30 people at least in the room. Professionals in their professional close talking to each other smiling, some flushed with beer or wine all handle small plate of veggies, Christmas goodies IE cookies, fudge and the like. I was sort of surprised there are no chips, I love chips. Guess that's what happens when you get things catered. Swedish meatballs, piles of chicken (it's usually turkey I don't know what happened this year). I looked desperately for somebody I know. I can't monopolize Dave to his staff and has to mingle and does a great job. After he thanked me for showing up and directed me to the food line cut it disappears and so do I. It's weird I don't have the sensation as much as I used to maybes because I'm retired and I don't do these events like I used to. But, I got my small plate and backed into the wall and nibbled away. It's odd because some of the people I've worked with fairly closely over the years walk right by me and did not even acknowledge I was there. I'm surprises guys don't trip over me but they don't. I was already wondering how long I have to stay before I can make up the line for the door and head home. The fogs in the city adding to the premature darkness of this December evening. More bodies filter in from the mist. Roger, the director or the previous director of Assist, Inc. finally stops by and we chat a little bit. It was really weird. I was in the middle of telling Roger something and he noticed somebody else and just walked away! I have to admit I was a bit shocked. However think I hit it well mingle can I do.

Truly, I was about ready to leave and this lady would been mingling pretty well, actually walked up to me and started talking. She said she didn't know anybody there, she was somebody's +1 at the event. I'm not totally sure what her relationship is with her host he's a retired architect who it spent part of his life as an instructor up at the University. They were definitely a couple of some sort. Her name is Nancy I believe she's older than me (it's hard to tell) that she was really nice. She wasn't goofy, and she wasn't drunk and it was in the mercy conversation she really wanted to know about me, who I was, what I was doing there and then she told me about her self. She had's professional jobs in the city, have is been in Salt Lake all of her life in fact she is now living in her parents home that she was raised in and the place has ghosts. The places in the avenues as gotta be a great place. And she's right she's not ever going to get rid of it is totally paid for has been since her father died. A nice place to be. She set. She invites me to her partner seems like a nice guy I wonder can I be friends with these people? How would I do that? We end up talking a lot more and longer than anticipated , real party talk. We establish her from the same political party which hates the current political environment. We almost get close to making those comments of we should get together or what we meet sometime but we never do. They asked me if I want more wine, having drank wine for over a year or any other alcoholic beverage I've become a lightweight. I feel like one of those ghosts, spirits who have to take up physical form for one reason or another and have to get back to the ether because maintaining physicality is just to exhausting.

At work by way towards the front door visiting with Nancy and I think his name is Bill. Then wandered off back to the table to get more drinks and I figured this was a good time as any to exit stage left. I know that's rude. I almost got out of the place without anyone noticing – – not that anybody would except my friend David want to make sure I was okay and thanked me for showing up. I assured him I was fine and dandy and I want to get home before the temperature got colder and the night darker. And with that I shook his hand and slid back into the ether…

Let Them Eat Porridge!

Yesterday was the holiday meeting of the Writers Guild. I've written about the Guild numerous times over the years. Three of us to go back to the days of the Second West Acting Company. One professional writer, one writing teacher and writer, and playwright and one wannbe everything these two people are. They been most gracious to me over the years to include me in this ritual lunch of getting together under the name of writing. The most professional member of the group, Jerry has been a great educator to me over the years. One of the most significant things he taught me was how to purchase someone else's dinner that you think might be better than the one you ordered. It still amazes me all the subtle tricks that a writers gotta know. Anyway, Jerry recently over the last year so he's ordered mainly breakfast at our lunch meetings. Usually bacon, pancakes and eggs, breakfast stuff. Not a big deal I guess it's just odd to order that for lunch. However, the village in advertises using get anything you want all day meal wise and that includes breakfast. Today I was relatively shocked when Jerry ordered oatmeal for lunch, granted he also ordered three or four slices of bacon but still oatmeal, at a restaurant? Our waitress didn't bat an eyelash, Like she had Taken this order at lunch a thousand times before. I didn't blog about this yesterday I don't know why I guess I didn't think about the event till this morning while I was lying in bed getting ready to face the world when I began ruminating about what good buddy ordered for lunch.

I'm having more and more issues with my teeth as I age. At first it frightened me. Teeth falling out, fillings falling out, gum bleeding, pain in my mouth. It was kind of spooky I was wondering if I was going to have to become one of those people dentures like my parents. Then I started ordering things like mashed potatoes and gravy, grits, soup and other soft pieces of food. That is when I had one of those ah ha moments when I realize a profound piece of wisdom: Old people eat soft things not necessarily because they like the soft things but they can't tolerate significant chewing. That try point steak I got from the food bank a couple weeks ago which I cooked And then could barely tolerate eating the meat because it was so tough. The chewing embedded copious amounts of meat between my teethAgainst them causing pain. Old people cannot eat good stuff our stuff that has to be masticated.As I pondered this piece of enlightenment I realized why old Scrooge Was eating oatmeal just before he went to bed on the night of his dream. His teeth hurt or he didn't have teeth! He was ingesting sustenance the only way he knew how cold mush.

I don't know why Jerry ordered oatmeal, toast and four slices of bacon for lunch/breakfast the other day but I can't fault him when I ponder the courage it takes to order old people food in public. And I guess Jerry is not the only one doing it. So much so that our waitress didn't even blink an eye. The chewed gum, took the order and asked what I wanted…

Is It Me?

The clouds moved in, a small front, no end to speak of so the inversion will stay in place in the Salt Lake Valley. These Valley inversions can be killers – – literally – – but they don't bother me though is that I can tell. However they've published enough images of the Valley at the bottom of this lake of “soup” that I have to acknowledge with several floating around out there in the atmosphere cannot be good. We of course did wind to blow this gunk out of the valleys I guess out of the desert to where I want bother the bipeds who live in the area of who does what we're doing to other four species that are trying to eke out survival existence in the desert. So this was a day that I could just as easily enjoyed in the amount of my apartment. But, I saddled up around 3 o'clock and headed south for the library. It's bookclub day and I haven't been to a bookclub and almost 3 weeks. I was kind of anxious to read with the group. But no one showed up. Bookclub starts at 4 PM and we read for an hour. At 10 minutes after, I was the only one in the reading area, I call the office to see if they even had one scheduled for today. I get nervous after national holidays many times things don't go as usual. However, I spoke with Ricky and she said that are person was coming down and would be there shortly. I looked at my timepiece it was now 20 minutes after 4 PM

At about 25 minutes after Avery walked into the room. I was relieved, I wasn't angry or anything, I would've enjoyed staying home today. We both looked at the clock on the wall the time was was now nearly a half hour and there is no use try to even read this week especially since there are no consumers there. We talked about our thanksgivings and we talked about other projects the councils is looking again involved with after the first of the year. It is the end of the year, things are winding down its time to put things to rest work things and quietly wait for spring.

What's kind of weird is that I'm getting us weird vibe that the book club might be dead. Over the last season since summer it had fewer and fewer regulars show up. I don't know if it's the book we chose our fits the changing of coordinators from the office or what but something's happening. I'm trying not to attach any of this to me. But it seems like I do have a track record of being affiliated with programs that tend to fail you can say that's dumb luck or dumb me just hard to say. I hope but not the touch of death. But I suppose I have really never gotten over the demise of Access Utah Network. It was such a good program and needed program. I can certainly blame the legislators involved and I can certainly blame the turn-of-the-century and the Y2K scare but it's just hard sometimes back away from the idea that in all situations I was the constant I was always there when it went down…

Tres Hombres

The weather is finally turn cold, not bone chilling cold well I guess if you stay out in the elements for any extended period of time. Kind of cold that let you know who's boss. I'm now wearing a black flannel scrap I don't remember where I picked it up at but I am wrapping the scrapped flannel around my legs. I know it seems a bit contradictory am sure to the casual viewer that hears this guy in a wheelchair wearing summer shorts but chooses to wrap his legs with flannel cloth , makes sense to me and makes me feel warm and that's what's important, right? I feel the cold now. Even though I'm wrapped up from my legs to my head even wearing stocking I feel great relief when I roll into my apartment at the end of the day. It's funny how the cold weather makes me feel tired.

Today I had lunch Dianne, probably my best friend, I really enjoyed the time we spend together talking and gossiping about everybody that we know. Today, we had lunch at Morelia's our favorite American Mex restaurant. I know I've written about this place before we been going there for years. Today we used Dianne's son's birthday as our justification. David, is the owner or part owner I think shares ownership with his sister. David always looks very concerned when he sees is now. It's always glad to see us I know that but is not happy at all that we divorced and I sense is always giving us the stink eye whenever we come in sure we haven't puzzled the unbelief. In order for me to get to Morelia's I have to catch two different buses. If I'm lucky I can make the trip in an hour which pleases me greatly. I suppose, if I really wanted to I could actually drive my chair from the train station all the way to the a restaurant which is about 10 blocks. I'm pretty sure I'm sure that my chair would make it especially if I had charged the chair all night but at this juncture I do not want to put any more stress on this chair's electrical systems are mechanical systems that I have to.

I got to the final bus stop very close to the restaurant about an hour before our date. I needed to go to the Burlington Coat Factory to see what was available hat wise. They had no hats that I was interested in but that's okay I was killing time. It worked, I entertained myself for the 45 minutes I needed. I'm always amazed when I go to this place because they offer so much more than coats.

Yesterday while riding the train I shared the train with this dog who had two guys. The dog knew what he was doing I wasn't sure if this is if his people did. Like I said the days of turn cold and we all are now wearing coats of one sort or another. I'm just glad the dog had coats for his people. I could tell this dog really cared…

Assist, Inc. at 50!

Friday is the Assist, Inc. Holiday open house. The “Christmas” party nomenclature vanished a decade or so ago as everything had to be nonsecular, nondenominational and politically correct. I sit on the citizens advisory board to this organization. The fancy name just means we sign off on all the work which is done as a protection against impropriety. I believe for one second in the importance of the work that I do. It's important yes that the group meets and that we sign her name and date and what work was approved on the document when it is our turn but the bottom line the works only been done we're just backtracking making sure everything is in place, and correct in case this ever an audit of this little bitty private nonprofit that helps a few people along the Wasatch front.

Of the members of the group I'm one of the longest participating members. I got onto this (really close readers will I other posts highlighting my history with this organization but I'll briefly go over it again here) may be 30 years ago are 40 it's hard to say. As a person with a disability representing an organization of folks that serve folks with disabilities I was often asked to be on these volunteer boards and advisory groups. We met every Tuesday , there were about five of us all together. I've gone through three directors And though tedious at times of always enjoyed my time with this organization.

The leader of our small group is David Woodman is the housing director at this program. David is a lifelong Salt Lake native is paid rough around the edges when I first met him. David's a biker, an older biker now that's for sure, like all of us he's mellowed but he still has two bikes day ride was the summer. When I first met David bespoke Chesterfield cigarettes, in fact the Cano got me smoking Chesterfield cigarettes for a while. They still make them. Non-filtered tubes of death that delight to use. I can say he was a hard drinking guy like I said he's mellowed. He doesn't drink anymore nor does he smoke Chesterfield's. He's the original and one of the original employees of the organization. He is weathered all the changes of the organization fairly well, he's been looked over the past over for promotions But like me he just kept showing up for work in many cases better have a place to work.

I've not really boycotted the Christmas/holiday functions I've attended quite a few over the years but missed most. There always Friday evenings from 3 to 7 PM roughly. It's always cold brisk and sometimes snowy. There's not much parking at the building and when I drive my van and pushing it was almost impossible to find a parking place and role to the office after dark. Now that I don't have a van I rely on public transit and I have a power chair so I don't really have an excuse except that it's late (for me anyway) and after dark and I don't like being out after dark on cold winter nights. This year however it's the 50^th anniversary of the organization of the company. I kind of feel I need to be at this one. So hopefully today will be low key. I have occupational therapy in the morning and then I'll head over to the open house by 5 PM. They have the event catered now. The new director is a Mormon so this know hard liquor like they used to be wine will still probably be served. The event will be catered which means cold cuts or turkey are both. The same people show up year after year so it's sort of family. It's kind of fun to see everybody. A lot of city, County and State folks show up as well as other private nonprofit orgs which service folks with low income. It's nice , has a Waltons feel. I never stay long. I don't schmooze well. Even though the event ends at 7 PM and staff are anxious to get out of there it feels much later and I just want to be on that southbound train safely headed home…

Learn Not To Burn

The first apartment I ever rented was a complete house. Truly, a complete house for $65 a month. Granted, this was way back in the 70s and Nampa Idaho but still. The little house with a standalone two-car garage that had been converted into a living situation. Half of the downstairs was still a garage the rest was walled off to make a small living room bisected by a staircase that traveled upstairs the weather the entire upstairs is one complete room sort like an addict. On you decided the stairs was the kitchen a small cute little kitchen with a sink in a small stove and refrigerator. Off the kitchen was the shower and bathroom one large room with a real fundamental shower. The shower area so reminded me of a dorm shower but it was functional and I could use it. I actually love that place. Once again, the stairs going to the second floor was where of course I had my bed. There is room for at least two beds upstairs at either end of the attic. There is no carpet just painted floor but I kind of liked it. I checked to see if I'd written about this before and I couldn't find any references. Surprisingly this posting is not about my Nampa apartment it's about the fact that I nearly burnt down my apartment. But I want to give you the lay of the land.

One of the early lessons I learned when learning to cook for myself and my little apartment was to keep the area on the stove as clean as possible in particular keepaway paper products from the burners. I had an electric stove which is kind of dangerous for me. The controls are in the back tie up so I had to reach over burners to get to the controls. One evening as preparing my dinner and somehow became distracted changing a record on my stereo are something and I did notice that paper towel or something was on a burner I was turned on or maybe it was it towel I think it was a towel actually. The towel combusted as I looked over for my small living room and terror flames shooting up off of the stove I read by chair over as fast as I could trying to figure out what I'm going to do when I have to give up and leave the apartment and watched the little place burned to the ground. Luckily I saw a broom handle which I grabbed and started pounding on the flames was able to insert the handle under the flames and move the whole burning bundle into the sink which I then extinguished the fire was running water. I just lucked out. I probably have repeated this scenario at least three times that I can recall. I've gotten more and more cautious when cooking. And quite frankly I'm amazed that I haven't totally torched one of my living situations I've been in over the past 50 years.

The War's Over

Adopted or not I am so my parents child. My adoptive parents, and for all practical purposes my parents, my real parents, the ones who took me in and raise me and got me through my broken neck and life in general. Those were folks Who were pre-Depression people. Good old poor Americans trying to survive best way they could. They are born into teens of the 19^th century are whatever the 1900s were. They went to the depression in the wars where there is nothing for the regular folk, the working-class folk. They raised the their food, processed and canned their food and stockpiled their food. They were never going to go through another period Which they had survived. And of course, I was right in their watching them canned food, bottle food dry and preserve food. Always waiting for the rainy day. Whenever we would complain about having to use this preserved cache of foodWe would get the standard “we are in the middle of the war, like we were, you'd be thankful for this food.”

So here I am, I have a closet full of canned goods and a freezer at the top of my refrigerator full of frozen meat and stuff from the food bank which I'm trying to use that seems harder and harder to figure out what to eat. I just want to go out and buy new meat and vegetables and fruits. The other day I was at the “Sharing Shelf” and there were three or four cans of evaporated milk. I just gotten a couple cans from the food bank in my Thanksgiving box. I don't know why I felt I had to have these cans evaporated milk as well. As with my friend Irene disorder runs the kitchen down there. She showed me the milk was way past its due date are best used by date. I didn't care I just saw this free milk that I can use my coffee besides, the best “use by” date is a myth right? Something industry has fabricated so that can goods will be thrown away and new product will have to be purchased to replace. I know that it's a conspiracy. Everyone knows canned food lasts forever. Right? My poor mother drug around canned peaches and cherries and honey to the day she died. Then they cleaned out her storage areas this food showed up. It was a shame nobody wanted the canned items I took the wheat (everyone knows week lasts forever – – but even found wheat in the pyramids stored for the pharaohs and it cooked right up after 2000 years thus is close to ever as I will ever deal with.

This morning I made new coffee for the week. And I used the last of the can of evaporated milk in the fridge raider that I've been nursing all week. I went over to the closet and pulled out one of the cans of milk that was at least 12 years past its due date And opened it up. The liquid inside was an odd color yellow almost orange. I tasted sip and I had to admit had a weird taste. The milk was okay I can tell, I was not going to get sick from ingesting it the milk was just old way old. I didn't like the flavor. I poured some into my coffee cup believing that the pink sugar and coffee will make the drink tolerable. The drink was tolerable but just barely. I drank the whole cup but for the rest of the milk down the sink in am going to toss the rest of the cans of milk in the dumpster. Come on the wars over…