My Buddy Tom

I have been trying to think of something to write about all day and the name of my old buddy Tom keeps coming up. I have tried to steer myself away from writing about Tom and his predicament but I am driving back to him every time I start typing. So this entry may sound like a posting about Tom but actually the posting is more about me and how I view the world with me in it.

Two brothers: Tom and John they lived across a couple of fields from me and my brother Ross. We lived, in what was then rural South East Boise. We became friend and best friends by default since there was not anyone geographical closer to us then we were to each other. John was my age, we were often in the same class at school, Campus School now long gone. Tom was a couple of grades higher then we were. He ended up hanging out with my older brother Ross a couple of grades higher then Tom. There was a brief shining moment in the orbital histories of our lives when we shared intersections in a perfect venn diagram for a couple of years. We aged and life moved on and we drifted apart.

I had the motorcycle wreck—actually a motorbike wreck. I in all honesty cannot call a 80 c.c. Yamaha a motorcycle. Anyway, I broke my head and neck and moved on. This summer will be the 40 year anniversary of the event. I did OK, I did not die, got a college education, got out of Viet Nam and have been able to stay pretty much consistently employed for the past 30 years. This is good. Granted I can’t walk and next to no grasp in my hands but I get by and do OK. I have taken the event(s) in stride and come out. I think, OK. I pretty much have gotten used to how life is for me and what to expect and where I am going.

I found out a month ago that my old friend Tom has Parkinson’s disease a neuro-muscular inhibitor which is progressive –this is not good. Luckily the Parkinson’s is localized and has not invaded his whole body as I have seen. Tom, is actually working, has a real job, a physical job—he is a lineman, union and everything. If Tom debilitates further, I am sure he will be covered by some kick ass benefits. Still, it will be hard on Tom to loose so much of how you expect life to be. I mean I this country regardless of how good you have it you quickly become second class if you have a disability. I hope Tom keeps working right up to taking an early retirement and a great retirement.

I have kept in contact with John the last couple of years. I enjoy our “adult relationship”; emails, birthdays cards and occasional phone conversations. I have not kept this relationship up with his brother though and that disturbs me know I ponder this fact. Why does a major disability have to be the driver for old friends to re-kindle an old friendship? Is it guilt because I have not kept up my side of the relationship, fueled now because of Tom’s disability or is Tom’s disability now our common denominator to which we can relate? Either way, John gave me his brother’s phone number and I think I’ll be calling.