Snow Fell Again During The Night

Snow fell, again, during the night,  a lot of  snow or so it seemed this morning when I got up and began preparing for my day. It was ok, the snow, I had no where to go and really no reason to leave the building. The hour it was late when I finally got to bed last night. There was no good reason why I stayed up except the goof around either on the computer or at my desk. I knew I had nowhere to go this morning so it didn't matter what time I went to bed. I don't know that's a healthy attitude to take but it's one that I finding myself fall into more and more. I actually spent a good deal of time yesterday afternoon and evening sending messages out to different folks via Facebook. It just seems like something to do - - something I could do and should do to stay connected.

I am finding isolation is becoming easier and easier to do here. Unless I have a reason I just do not  go out-- this may change as weather improves a Spring gets a better foothold in this area. I think I well. But I can see how easy becoming invisible could be. I have a neighbor name Jose, who lives across the hall from me. I rarely seem Jose. (I have written about him before) Jose speaks broken english(at best).  Jose must be in his mid to late 60’s,Jose is short in stature and always has a smile on his face. Jose knows  enough  English to get by. I never see him leave his apartment. Jose is always willing to assist me when and if I need help. The point I am laboring to make is that Jose is invisible. Who knows maybe that is exactly what this little guy wants. He might be hiding from ICE--Jose has good reason to be invisible...I don't!

If I could I would go to the market daily , in fact I almost do. I almost think I use my daily trips to the market to be social or to socialize. I see people here at the apartments in the common area and try to visit with them when I can. I just feel I like visiting “real people-” more. Oops,  there I have said it. I don't really consider the folks here at the apartments real people. I should be whipped!! I find my time here interacting with folks sort of like work. Like doing a good deed not necessarily folks I would want to be with if I did not have to : other seniors. This is so pathetic I am ashamed. But this is true.

Today is it snowing Monday, I thought there was a function this afternoon like a play but when I got there it was a quasi medical procedure program. Local Insurance Group has a medical person someone trained  blood pressure and sugar recording. In fact, they keep this information on hand so that's next month when it is done again they will be able to have something to go on and over a number of months a very good Baseline what's my blood pressure and blood sugar is. On first blush this kind of freaked me out but the more I pondered the better it sounded. I have to admit depressed with having the service free of charge right here in the apartments once a month period in fact that even have a short discussion / teaching session afterwards over a given topic this month was heart health  next month will be developing and maintaining a good diet. I know it's all very senior 
geeky that's right where I need to be.

Arm Bike

I have an arm-bike. I believe I've written about it before it seems I have written about everything before in this blog at one time or another. The name of my arm bike is Saratoga Silver. I've had piece of equipment two or three years now. I was first exposed to the arm bike when I was involved wit Wellness University of Utah. It took a while for me to warm up to the arm bike but eventually I found the equipment and essential part of my daily workout process. I was fortunate a couple years ago to have found an arm bike for sale on the Internet and make the purchase allowing me not to have to leave the house to grind the bike for however long I would. I think of all the things I do on a daily basis my daily work out on the arm bike is the most important. That is why earlier last week I noticed with some anxiety that my arm bike was no longer offering any resistance. I turned off the bike and then turn the bike on again and it seemed to work just fine. I thought perhaps some sort of temporary glitch that righted itself on the reboot. So imagine my dismay yesterday when I noticed something when I turned on my Saratoga and it no longer gave me any resistance even after I went through the same process as I did last week. I thought maybe if I let the machine to its own devices, overnight, it would again reboot but so far it has not and it has left me in a quandary. Of course this all happened last night about 4 o'clock my time so I was not able to get a hold of the company which builds the arm bike and hopefully it will be a quick fix. I sort of doubt that however because I think what is happening is some sort of software issue.. However I have fired off an email to the company and hopefully someone will get back to me Monday or I will call them.

Last night when I got to bed I noticed attended to be thrashing more than usual, sleep was not coming quickly and smoothly as usual. Then I remembered I had not really worked out yesterday afternoon. Getting no resistance to my hand peddling I was wondering if the effort was worth the effort.. I still don't know but what I do know is that even though I felt sleepy earlier in the evening I couldn't get to sleep right off. I think this is directly related to not working out. I only listed 40 or 50 reps because the snow was too challenging for me to left and besides last night was a staff night which means I had to get things done before Honey got here. This kind of worries me if I cannot get my Saratoga running again.. I will figure something out even if I have to purchase a machine less sophisticated than the Saratoga Silver. I need this in my life my heart needs this in my life as well as my sleep.

Frustration

For a week now I have been consumed with trying to clean my apartment. Management announced last week that on today, Friday, February 24 that apartment inspections would be executed. The lady from corporate name Vicki seemed to be a real ball buster and would suffer fools poorly and here I mean fools that cannot keep their apartments clean are after her standards/corporate standards. So of course I did nothing for the first two or three days and then thank goodness my old CNA (Certified Nurse Assistant) volunteered to assist me in the cleanup process. Wow! I cannot believe how much this helped. Gail really helped straightening out the kitchen. Gail still works as a CNA, she works very hard I felt a bit guilty having her help. I even ooffered to pay for something for her efforts but she refused. I did foist some boiled eggs, carton of milk etc. Gail will take food and that's even better than money.

Gail came over Tuesday night and work for about two and half hours. Then she said she would come over last night Thursday night. It was pretty late in the evening when I got out text mail indicating she had some work things come up and would not be able to come over till about 8 o'clock.. Actually the apartment looked pretty good still from her work on Tuesday. However there are a few things I could not reach that deal with be able to get to easily. She did show up but was called away after about 45 minutes for an emergency call she got while vacuuming the apartment. That was okay as “pretty comfortable with the whole operation. I spoke to a couple of the other residents at this apartment complex who indicated that the inspection is really not a big deal..Still it something could be messed up it would mess up on me.

I actually worked kind of late on the bathroom. I especially worked on the count and the sink. When I went to bed the bathroom looked pretty good. I would like to have mopped the floor but I think the whole unit would pass muster. Things are really worried me was holes punched in the wall by my wheelchair and raisins ground in the carpet and solidified. I actually got some stuff supposedly to clean these spots. I treated the spots but they didn't really come off. I guess ago have to be scrubbed.

I figured I could wake up and do a few last things which I did. I spent the morning working on projects on my computer got a knock on the door of the building manager informing me there'd be no inspection today. Inspection has now been rescheduled for next Thursday ! I should be relieved. I should celebrate but I can't think of looms in my mind is that I'm going to have to keep the apartment clean until Thursday. This seems like a monumental task – – but you know what? I like that with the place looks and I think if I just keep everything up I should do okay. Maybe this is another step in growing up. I can't wait till Thursday

FEBRUARY SNOW

Thursday afternoon and I should be out doing stuff but you know what? It's snowing and I did not really want to get out in the snow. Yesterday I was going to to do my regular workout on my rickshaw and I did not realize the snow was coming down. When I got out in the rickshaw the snow was literally blowing sideways directly in the face and I only did 20 of my Hundred reps and called it good. I cannot remember ever being such a wuss. But this is where I'm at years of my life. I could spend the rest of the afternoon listen to Talking Heads watching the snow and drifting in and out of Twilight sleep which is really an old fart thing to do. However like Robert Frost “ I have miles to go before I sleep ? Tomorrow is the Inspection! And there is tons to do. In fact I am blessed that Gail is coming over tonight to help with straightening up my apartment. So far Gail has not let pay her for services rendered-Gail has come over a couple weeks now on Thursday nights and worked a couple hours cleaning. I want to hang some photographs but I do not want to harm the walls so I want to cross the street and get some wall hanging tabs or whatever they're called. I am sure I have seen these devices over at the prolog store. I cannot be long,I must get back to vacuum and do my bike before Gail shows up. As I have said Gail will not let me pay her. I have been able to sour cream comma bananas, and other items I may have just laying around the house. she seems to be able to accept these things alright just right now she will not take money. Very interesting. I mean she works herself to death 40 plus hours a week doing this CNA work and I would be willing to paper , I'm sure as much as she cleans from the agency she works for after they take their cut. As much as I hate this inspection coming tomorrow getting ready for this event. The event has forced me to look at how I am kind of my apartment. I have made a commitment to myself to keep a clean, tidy and neat living space. I can do this even if this means having someone come in a couple times a week/month to force order on my space. I am old enough it time I begin to act my age. Today's storm is a February storm in fact it's a storm on the Springs side of February; even if a ton of snow falls today they snow will not linger,there is just too much daylight and the temperature has been so warm the ground itself is too warm for the snow to loiter. It's 2 o'clock so we have time to run across the street get the items I need and get back and do some push-ups if I have to start pushing the crank on my arm bike. Today at the coffee group I asked some of the other residents how serious this upcoming event is. They,of course, assured me I had nothing to fear, but I have found when dealing with bureaucracies (of any type) to plan for the worn and be surprised when I get the best outcome.

Life Is Hard

I believe somewhere in my thousand plus posts to this blog that I spoken about the fact that Utah transit Authority has only two stations for people in wheelchairs. This is not such a big issue when I first began writing the authority but as word got out of course more and more folks are using the system. I'm not even just talking about wheelchair folk, I'm also talking about mothers pushing baby buggies, seniors driving carts that think the wheelchair stations are an ideal place to sit with their carts and drivers who refuse or don't even know policy regarding what is or is not allowed in the wheelchair stations. Anyway this post is only slightly about this issue. Twice this week I've had to disembark the bus when trying to load because once I was on board there was a person in power chair already secured in one of the wheelchair stations. These are folks and big chairs like mine. There is no room available to execute a 225° turn. I have cars first tried to execute such an maneuver and realized that was not possible forcing me again to you board the bus and coming backwards just not a problem for me I can backup pretty good. It's just a pain in the butt when it could've been eased by the bus operator letting me know that there was a power chair on board already and perhaps coming on backwards would be ideal to coming in forward. I know this is just one more item to pile on a driver and may not be fair but the time saved for the driver as well as reduction stress for the passenger I think would be worth the driver's efforts. Yesterday, I boarded the bus the re-boarded the bus and found myself sitting next to a quadriplegic in a major power chair.. I cannot find the make with the chairs huge and so is the user. Is a quiet type, fairly involved T drive iin the chair has the ability to recline and I think elevate it's a pretty elaborate system of like to know what the speed is but I don't dare speak with the driver of the chair irradiates hostility – – that could be me as well. The chair operator is Hispanic and I'll bet an inactive gang member – – that's very cheap of me to conclude just from ethnicity and spinal cord injury… But I bet I'm right. Twice now I have sat next to this person while boarding 217 northbound.I would very much like to know this guy find out more of his history. I have no good reason to know this history aside from salacious curiosity. I also like to know how long he has been disabled,, of course the etiology would be fascinating,, but most importantly how he is doing not only in emotional status but in physical status, how does he do is attendant care, houses skin, where is he going school? Work?. Where does he live? Does he live by himself, with family, who provides his assistance which is kind of redundant something I have already asked. Just a ton of questions. I hesitate just because I don't think I would want someone else prying into my life on public transit with the ghoul inside of mewould really like to know.. I actually took an image with my cell phone playing like I was doing a selfi. Boy, I bet he'd be pissed off if he knew I ripped his image.. Oh well life is hard..

Monday Blues

Once again I am cycling down and do some sort worried state. I will stop short calling it depression but it certainly could evolve to such an emotional situation. Skin on my bottom is beginning to break down again simply the right cheek where the hip meets the thigh. There's a small area where the skin is so fragile that any bit of abrasion begins to break down. The second skin concept Dianne developed is been so helpful in maintaining this dermal area. This assure struggle with her gone. It is difficult to direct other people were not so involved with the development of this process.. I can direct honey, my current night attendant but sometimes I don't know if they fully understand how to place the tape are media to provide the prophylactic protection needed. If I were braver or responsible I would just go down for however long it would take to heal the wound. So I'm up and it's Monday morning. I'm dressed up had breakfast I need to work on my apartment for the upcoming inspection. Hopefully Mark A might drop by and Gail might be by tomorrow evening to help with sprucing up the apartment. Actually I think the apartment is okay I just need some arrangin and straightening up. The only thing I really need to get done today is to return DVDs I rented yesterday. I do need to push the rickshaw and pump the Saratoga for an hour. I could spend the day laying back in my chair watching cable is always a couple movies on their I can get lost in.

I know kind of pathetic for me to wallow in this self-assessment of how bad is my butt wound but it is the focus that I have right now. I was the intrigued yesterday when I visited Larry to find that he was still battling or just battling some kind of pressure sore on his butt which may be think I'm not the only one with issues. Once again I have to remember how thankful I should be,, and I am, that I just have a small wound, my arms are relatively good I have two of them plus the spasticity my legs still offer me a great deal of support.. I can live independently with minimal supports overall I do pretty good am doing pretty good.

It's working and talked myself out of this malaise I woke up with. I don't know how long is up looked well last that I think I well get through this day

Radical Gossip

Tenants meeting? I wonder if you if you use ' in 'tenant meeting”. Yesterday was the first tenants meeting which is been held since I moved in. I was not sure what to expect. The tenants meeting finished a week long exercise referred to as tenants appreciation week. A week of root beer floats, some entertainment, and a sponsored lunch by Utah nonprofit agency that private nonprofi who owns this project.

As I said is not been in attendance meeting since I moved in here last October. In my mind I feel like I'm still a new guy that I've just moved in and in point of fact I'm getting close to a happy year here and there should probably been attendance meeting somewhere along the line. At the meeting they announced formally that Friday next week will be the apartment expections. I have heard rumblings the last couple weeks that an inspection was coming. I did not really pursue what the inspections meant or who they were by I figured they would come one way or the other. Now I knew Utah nonprofit will be inspecting each property in each unit in each property which of course means me. I of course then realized the reason there was a tense meeting was for management to officially give notice. Somewhere in some H U D manual there is a paragraph which states there will be a unit inspection once a year….and each one of these events,, I'm sure, is part of the whole process of this inspection. But a tenants meeting is still tenants meeting and tenants will be tenants. They will believe they actually have input into their living situation.

What I thought was interesting was that the tenant meeting was actually ran by somebody from the home/corporate office – – after all the private nonprofit is called Utah nonprofit corporation. The corporate rep was a very early middle-aged high-energy lady with blondish – Silverish hair it was definitely in charge of the meeting and is going to have it finished by 5 o'clock. I never got her name and I should know since I'm on the Board of Directors. However, she covered first and foremost the apartment inspections coming up, building security I. E. opening the door for strangers, blocking our wedging doors open and gossip. Actually gossip was brought up by one of the tenants as well as the issue of non-English speaking tenants not understanding fire drills, attendance at meetings or special events and not cleaning out the laundry areas which I assume meant cleaning up lint traps as well as keeping the laundry room tidy.General housekeeping stuff which is to be expected. I was kind of surprised though there was a meanness to the room that I had not expected.

I was glad when the meeting was over I had that same kind really one feels when one is finished with a dental appointment. A guarded relief one is just glad to get away from the spot contention. I made some comments just basic stuff and responded to some of the comments that were made. Not that it mattered but there two other males in the room and one left midway through the meeting the other is actually quasi-paid staff, the resident assistant. The meeting was over and I assume we won't have another for only six months or until something severe comes up like radical gossip..

Interestedly Weird

One of the best parts of being old is being able to look back on your life and see illuminations certain spirits that made your life worthwhile if not valuable. Yesterday I had lunch with my old friend Lori Brock. Lori has been one of those people in my life have been steady. She has always been there.

I first met Lori in the arts. I was the community resource coordinatorfor the local Independent living center. I did not put the project together I don't think. I think it was either Alan Kimball are Larr Orr who have been the recreation administrator for the center or as we reffered to them as Rec Exec., I think they developed the original theater class/or acting class but somehow I got involved being the instructor which brought me into contact with Lori. I believe Lori was employed at the time by Very Special Arts (VSA). We developed the acting class which in turn became the acting company or more specificall the Second West Acting Company. Lori was relentless as acting coach and producer. She truly needed to be part of a real acting company. I saw being part of the acting company as part of my job. I went to the acting classes every Monday night and I tried to learn my parts but it was difficult and I was not dedicated like Lori. Lori Brock was there because she wanted to be there. She loved writing and being an actor. She was there as long as it took as long as she could get people to stay. Lori love being on stage in front of an audience. Lori taught me the real meaning of the term “dedication”. I've always enjoyed being around Lori.

Lori is now working at Salt Lake Community College or SLCC. Lori of course teaches writing and as always I'm impressed. Now that I live just down the street from the community college it makes sense that we are back in contact on a more regular basis. We had coffee yesterday for the second time. The first time I saw a messed up by having a bathroom meltdown. Lori had come in early to have lunch but we were not able to spending time together because of my inordinate amount of time in the bathroom. Yesterday was much better – – she actually came in on a day that she didn't have to work so we can spend as much time together as we like. We spent a couple hours talking about what was happening in our lives. It was fun but kind of weird linking up again this way at this point in our lives where we are both single. Just saying, interestingly weird.

There's a third person in our group and his name is Jerry I've written about them in the past. Jerry is a professional writer, retired from a local newspaper that somebody Lori and I have respected and enjoyed spending time with. We've not had one of our lunches in years. I think we were kind of a funny group if anything I was the stooge to the two professionals. Jerry had been part of the original writers group – – yet been a contract professional brought in to help teach the other folks disabilities writing. Sad as it was Jerry and other professionals were the catalysts that gave the group credibility if not respectability. It did not come up in yesterday's coffee that we should get together with Jerry. Maybe we should.

Happy Birthday Gail!

Today is Gail Borsvolds, that was her name 50 years ago, I'm not sure what her last name is now, birthday. Something I don't think I've told hardly anyone that I've had a crush on her all these years.. Not like a real break my marriage up crash real soft spot for her. In junior high the press was so hot it motivated me to even call her on the phone or try to with the help of various friends. We both lived out in South Boise we rode the same bus home. I believe I even sat next to her a couple times for the right out of the city.

Gail had a huge smile, Mary Tyler Moore smile! She was genuinely happy all the time or so it seemed. I love knowing where her house was in passing that each time I had to go in and out to anywhere and self voicing and would pray that I would see her outside her home. Later in life I was amazed that my father knew her father and I never knew that as an adolescent – – somehow I thought that might be in.

Of course Gail was completely out of my classboth cosmetically and socially. This would've been devastatingly apparent had I not had my accident and gone to high school with her. That's okay it was always a fantasy anyway – – but the social media we linked up after 40 some 7 years. We are still friends even better friends after so many years away and life challenges have worn are sharp edges smooth.. I appreciate her allowing me to be some part of her life. Happy birthday Gail I hope it's all you deserve you deserve everything.

Using My time

My dear sweet aunt is 90+. Aunt E., is my mother's youngest sister and really my only link to the previous generation. I adore my aunt and I believe and hope we have a special relationship. My aunt is tough she is survived numerous bouts with cancer survived her three siblings and her husband and continue to live by yourself supports from caregivers. I don't think she is long for this world not because she is ill or infirm she just tired and lonely and needs to see her husband deceased siblings. Now having said all that her family is having a wingding/ whoopeedoo birthday celebration either this weekend or next. There are some believe that she continues to live for everyone else was preparing his birthday celebration plans to shut locked in mortal coil soon after. I don't know if that's true – – it would not surprise me and this would make a real rock 'em sock 'em post posting to my blog that's not what I want to write about today.

Last week during the good weather I was going to take the bus over to my aunts apartment complex, where the wingding is going to be. I of course was going to visit my aunt at the same time thus killing two birds with one stone – – excuse the irony. I kind of thought my aunt would be delighted to have a visitor. I made the call and advised her I was coming to visit. My aunt was of course worried that I would have problems making the journey on public transit. And I assured her I be okay and that I thought it was important for me to get a basic idea of what the trip would entail before the actual visits for the party. Thinking back I should've recognized the caution if not disagreement in her voice. I hung up the phone return to my work on the computer and a few minutes later she called indicating that I needed to wait until my cousins arrived from out-of-state will get help with my visit/trip. Plainly she did not want a visit and are me to visit.. I don't know like to think it was the prior as opposed to the latter.

Yesterday, was another nice day a beautiful day for public transit so I loaded up and headed out are up to the VA medical center after my Assist , Inc.meeting to visit my friend Larry. I should realize that he would be in the middle of rehab but that did not detour me. I ran to his wife as she exited the elevator on his floor. We visited and Larry joined us after a few minutes. We had about an hour visit during his speech therapy session. Larry is a newlywed so I took my leave following the end of the session. It was during this period that Larry made a lightly veiled request that I visit the next time after his therapies again no problem.

There really was littl sting in Larry's request – – I really should know better. The same with my aunt E. people want to control who and what they see and when they see them. But still in the back of my mind that makes me feel could I construct my time better.

Beautiful Monday

Sometimes I feel starting Monday is what most people feel like Friday is that I survived some thing and for me that's the weekend. I am just glad to be alive and back in the world getting ready do something however minor like go out and see the sun.

I spent some time this weekend reading back over all posts to the blog. The blog to me is some kind of a journal actually some sort of running documentation of what's going on in my life. This weekend I went to my blog to try to find out just how old my power chair is. It seems I have engaged anew ddurable medical provider and he feels that he might be able to enable some repairs to this chair he of course – – his name is Chris – – needs information about my chair is, who purchased the chair or how the chair was purchased just all the kind of minutia. Wow, it just occurred to me that I also have another new durable medical provider and the guy who swooped in a couple of weeks ago and saved my ass when my chair froze up on me. Great! What the hell am I going to do now? I suppose this is what comes from trying to please everyone. This Chris guy is referred to me by my occupational therapist Kasey. The other gu the guy from NORCO, who was referred to me by my good buddy Andrew and the NORCO gguy did come right out and got me going again. Both guys are trying to build their base of operations in need probably all the business they can get. Boy, I have to invent a person comes right out tonight apartment or anywhere might be certainly provides an interesting amount of consideration that again this guy, has an idea as far as the foot hangers goand that too is very provocative. Perhaps as a way I can use both – – and that the operative word here is “use” . I suppose my OT would justify the whole thing as saying yeah whatever is best for you Mark. Whatever might be best for me still makes me feel like this sleaze.. However that's good counsel and sleaze are not I should take it and get my chair to the point where I have some confidence as will a comfort.

Yes, I got to the weekend. I did not do much partially because I was worried about my butt and not either aggravating pressure sore or developing pressure sore. I don't think my butt is a problem right now I can use the clothes that bunch up under my butt hurts make me feel that a purchaser might be developing. Between Saturday's weather being kind of poor and the fact that very little public transit happens on Sunday I stayed in, washing clothes doing some cooking with items I had in the freezer, and ddoing a little binging. I suppose the weekend was restfu but sure makes me glad to get back into Monday..,

You Gotta Have Faith

I have been trying survive in this power chair for the past two years at least probably 3 years actually. Survive is probably to strong a word but the chair has been a challenge especially the foot pedals or hangers. I have never been happy with this particular chair and anyone who has red this blog for any period of time knows that. I really believe the chair has gone from being an inconvenience and hassle to actually causing increased pain and bodily injury  physical and to a certain extent mental. Following lasts week's events where I was stranded in my chair naked in my room I have become more committed to getting a piece of equipment which is dependable and save. Luckily I have a therapist like Kasey, who really seems to be looking out for me.

This morning Kasey called to let me know that he had been in contact with a durable medical provider who was new in the area and was hungry. I've been a salesman I've been hungry. I know the code that Kasey was talking about. The person who needs money you need to get out and get known really will work hard on the sale and sure enough I got a call Thursday afternoon and it was Chris the sales guy that my friend Kasey was talking about. Kind of funny I almost did not take the call as usual when I get a call I really get it on the first rings. I am having the call the person back after I can finish the phone out of wherever I have the phone  stashed. I actually thought the caller was a telemarketer by the way it sounded and looked on my call indicator. And when I called back it sounded like a sales gimmick but luckily I held on and realized it was the guy that Kasey talked about. We talked he really seemed to understand what I was talking about it what my needs were and you didn't promise me the the moon either. He simply said he would try to see what we can do to see if I can get the changes to my chair I need in order to go on living my life the way I like to. Left the ball in my court I needed to look up the last piece of work medical did on my chair and to see if Medicare took care of any of that work and if they did there might be a strong possibility that they would continue to do some maintenance on the chair if it can be shown that the maintenance would be related to the last piece of work done which I think could be documented. Just a side note this morning Saturday morning, I did find my paperwork from the last piece of work done on the chair and in fact the 4000 was billed  to your  Medicare and pehp. As I wash my clothes this morning I also spent a lot of time trying to figure out the timeline a friend I purchased this chair the best I can find right now is that it's only been about 2 years which means I was short as far as getting another chair but we knew that. However if I can document and push the concept of a bit of a lemon chair that would be interesting and get a new chair with an elevator. When I went to see Larry or last week I was really jealous of his brand new power chair with a beautiful elevator device.

We have not set up a meeting yet but I'm looking forward to meeting this Chris guy I don't know why but I have faith in him sometimes faith is all you got.

Therapy Thursday:COFFEE ANY ONE?

Today is a beautiful day true it's cloudy very overcast at the temperatures are in the sixties! Kind of day I would love to be out in but I'm not. Sitting in my room / apartment looking outside at the skatepark watching the guys up and down over the berm, trying my best to stay off my right hip that seems to be debilitating into some sort of pressure sore. Unbelievable, but that's the story of my life I just have to accept it and move forward. I sure wish I had somebody who could put on the prophylactic tape like Dianne. She was great at it and I knew that, I knew this was going to happen I just hope not having Dianne taking care of my butt does not kill me. I have been trying to teach Honey how to do this but it's just not doable. I may have to try to find a nurse or eventually end up with that wound clinic. I'm not too excited about the IMC wound clinic and I don't know if I want to get back involved with the University Medical Center dash dash however is pretty good they don't freak out if you just come in cuz you think you might have something going on . In fact I think they would prefer that you come in and get checked out and attend to what might be small rather than wait until it's blown out of proportion and we're talking bedtime downtime major. That I do not want to happen I do not want to spend my summer on my stomach trying to get my ass to heal. Actually I don't know if I would have gone out even if I but good feel good I don't think I got a very good evacuation last night and I don't want to do another jump on the outside. So maybe it's best I just stayed in and worked on my desk, Things Considered.

Today was therapy coffee -- that's what I call it therapy coffee. Socialization attempts by management here at the apartments. Thursday Coffee is not bad I just don't get too involved in the whole operation no I make a couple comments. I don't know how seriously Anne the social worker tracks  interaction with various individuals.  The population of the group is fairly loose with a lot of coming and going but there is a main core folks that show up and traditionally except for gym the resident assistant I'm the only male. Not that I would be any more verbose if the group was a male group. Who knows if the you ever discussed anything I was truly interested in perhaps I will become more involved. We can talk about the sixties coming of age, work experiences, work history and on and on. I like the folks in the group it just seems they are all extroverts and really like trying to run the show.

A cold front move in tomorrow which brings the spring like days to an end. I have enjoyed the days though and look forward to the true spring..

Lady In Black

I cannot believe I almost missed her.  I listened to the forecast last night before turning in as I always do the weather  said rain, wind in the valley and moready snow  for the mountains for sure. I kind of debated all night as to whether or not I should go to the meeting this morning, the Assist  meeting. I figured rain and be a good excuse. Was kind of hoping my butt would still be sore but Miracle of Miracles it was actually feeling pretty good this morning. I certainly could not use that as an excuse.

I was up by 6:30 and started my morning routine. I open the curtains and sure enough I could see beginnings of the day. Rain had fallen for sure during the night but now there was little evidence on the sidewalk outside my window. I was actually feeling pretty decent and I thought the heck, I'm going in no matter what David said,I needed to get out.

Sure enough David indicated there would indeed be a meeting but if the weather was a factor for me he would understand. There is had my out but I did not use the excuse I was heading inbound I was heading for the city.  By the time I got off at Library station in had an hour to kill. When I have time like this often go to the Dunkin Doughnuts  coffee shop across the Traxx from the Library. A guilty pleasure for sure. I ordered coffee with whatever white stuff the have and a couple of pinks  (sweetener)and usually two doughnut holes,munchkins .

There was an attractive young lady dressed in black carrying pieces of Art covered in plastic like a presentation. She look like manager. She and I are on the same train. Not close and I was a little startled when I got off the train and head for the coffee shop and there she was in front of me. Walking and being buffeted by the wind. She was going to the downtown campus a Salt Lake Community College I imagine there's one right next to the coffee shop. We were crossing the street when she turned around to me and started talking. Just general stuff like “ sure is windy” and “least it's not snow” I don't know why but I thought it was pretty weird but I liked it. In fact I was sort of hoping she was going to the coffee shop in fact I thought about asking her she want to go to the coffee shop. I veered off towards the coffee shop and she headed towards the college when suddenly she stopped and turned and ask if I had an umbrella. I realized immediately she is going to give me her umbrella and I told her no I did not need an umbrella and she tried to press her umbrella  on me and I told her actually an umbrella would be a hindrance to me because I'1d have to figure out how to hold it and everything else I had and still drive my power chair. Indeed I would not do any good thanks all the same. This is what I should have asked her to coffee. She looked crestfallen but headed on to her presentation  and I was off to my coffee and donut holes. She was my lady in black I wish I taken her image I'll probably never see her again.

Saturday Night Musings

It's  Saturday night and I'm sitting in my power chair in my little apartment. The week has been major challenging  as far as being stranded in my power chair and having to sit in my manual chair for a good portion of the day. I am still incredibly thankful that we are able to get them the entire repair done to the chair in the daytime! That is truly a blessing. I really like being able to be in my manual chair as much as I could be in my manual chair. What I mean by that is that my body has really changed. My scoliosis is so pronounced that I can barely stay in the chair. I don't know what it would be like to have a new chair so much of this chair and if that would be easier to stay in particularly if I had a belt to secure me. There was a time when I would never have even considered such an item but now I would even welcome a harness if that would help me stay in the chair. Dr. Ryser who was my main doc during my rehab and post my rehab made a statement to one of my therapist that I should not be pushing the chair which really quite threatened to be at the time. I would never stop pushing the chair cuz I think that's so important to me. But I think I am beginning to see his point. I can still push the chair I think pretty good but I can feel my joints and my shoulders rebelling. I think the doctor was quite concerned but pushing the chair would hasten their demise. I don't know if that's true but I understand that now better than before, but that means I'm doom to a power chair pretty much for the rest of my days and we know what means. I'm really at the mercy of the chair and how the power chair behave on any given day.

I guess in fairness I have to confess that given my use of the chair it really has not failed me as much as I seem to cry about it. It's just when it does fail I feel totally helpless.  Perhaps, I need to take some responsibility and maybe if I committed to keep a regular maintenance schedule for the chair that might focus on finding these kind of issues before they happen maybe that would make my life a little more acceptable.

Having said all this I still wish to keep involved on some level with a manual wheelchair for as long as I dare. There's just something about being able to be under own my own power not having to rely on some external item for Mobility and Independence. I don't know if that's asking too much but it's really how I feel. I wish I could get back to where I was able to transfer independently for my manual chair to my power chair because I know I could go the other way I could transfer from my power chair to my manual chair no problem because it's down. If there was a way to transfer up that would be great or if I had someone / attendant who could hook me up to the lift into the power chair this would be doable but at this point that's not the case and I just have to spend my days in my power chair and I can do that.

Better Weather on the Way

Not to be a weather report I have to mention that it looks like the severe cold and inverted weather has come to an end at least for the time being. Grey clouds loaded with rain and much warmer temps are forecast for the weekend and even for next week!! I am forward looking to head out without having to wear my great white coat. Just a sweater or sweatshirt and and perhaps just my vest. I really don't have far to go or anywhere to go to speak out it's just annoying the cold snap is broken has loaded me with great cheer.

I pretty much reported  all the events of yesterday in my last post but here or a couple more that has impact that was not related to some sort of birth celebration.

Gail, my previous Home Health provider also came over in the early afternoon and cleaned up a lot around the apartment. She even did some vacuuming which was really needed in the front room or I seem to work a lot. She comes over for free I'm not sure how to deal with this entirely. Yesterday I gave her one of the $5 McDonald cards that  I got over Christmas four grandkids that never showed up or whatever and seemed  to be pleased that. I do like Gail ,I really like her coming over she certainly helps me keep things in perspective. I really admire her for keeping us activist as she does at post 70 years of age. She just amazes me.

And before I forget Kasey, occupational therapist, did the home visit. Kasey has some great ideas for the home front many of the ideas  has already spoken of, I just need  to write up some sort of a plan and request to management that will allow us to go to the next step. If we are allowed to make the changes we want it will certainly makes my living unit more enjoyable.

Yesterday was a big day in fact I am still kind of tired. But such are days that celebrate your birth.

Groundhogs Day

I am so ready for this birthday to come to an end. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything like that but this is been one stressful day. The Day began early when I got up about a quarter to 6 and I was excited about my birthday. Today is also the day when we have the apartment coffee where people get together and chat and I swear like that communal thing. But if you've been following this blog you know that I've been having problems with my power chair and intermittent power shutdowns. This morning I was in my chair in the leaned back position trying to position myself in the chair and chair completely shut down. Where I am lying naked in my power chair no and I'm going to have to call for some help. Fortunately I was in the bathroom and there is a call string yanked and got the building resident advisor. Are building ra is called Jim and he's a friend. Jim helped me as much as I could but in the process I went from in the chair get on the floor. Fortunately I did not hurt myself except that the challenge of getting off the floor is great. Luckily I have an electric lift but it's a little difficult to work with me on the floor. We decided call my brother to see if he would come and assist which of course he did. He had already started his work day but came right over. I'm so pleased we did not have to call the the fire department. My brother Carl took care of me all last summer getting me up and going so he knew about the lift in the house sling me up. We got me in my chair, manual chair which I stayed till late afternoon. One of my friends on Facebook who's also severely disabled informed me that I should use his guy and text me his number. I was desperate since my wheelchair shop has written me off till next Wednesday. So I called the name and sure enough he came over in a half an so had my chair torn a part and isolated the problem. A wiring harness called the pigtail had somehow burned itself out. Possibly some moisture getting into the connectors. Fortunately for us the technician has a comfortable chair at his shop that he could cannibalize a wiring system out of that would fit my chair. He was back by mid-afternoon and had me up and functional in my wooden chair by 4 o'clock. I feel blessed for all these people that were part of the fix today on my birthday. I am thankful to add a new contact I plan to use again with my next chair failure not to be pessimistic but that is realistic because my chair will fail again. I also feel blessed for a late birthday function when my son and me came over with a birthday dinner of pizza. I had a great cake provided by my brother came over later with treats ,birthday card and carrot cake. I'm tired on this the end of a birthday Groundhog's Day, the end to a very long day.

Pussy Hat

I really hate political stuff which is kind of weird because I have had to be involved in political stuff all of my professional life. I really did not have much choice just because being in a wheelchair means you have to be involved on the political stage somewhere all your needs are going to get walked on my needs and rights I walked on anyway, it just seems that when you're totally involved it doesn't feel as bad.

So I have not really become involved with the whole Trump thing. I'm hoping and watching and thinking that maybe things will just boil down to a simmer but somehow I don't think that's going to happen. It just seems like things are getting more and more out of control. I cannot believe this is happening. The guys such a goof I think he's just being played by the unseen Puppet Masters.

Bonnie is a woman I used to work with when I was employed by the state. She is a fun person one I always like to visit with. She has been knitting pussy hats! Pussycats by their nature I guess are political. Bonnie has offered me a pussy hat. She said she's even put it in the mail I should have it by Friday! too much fun. So I wonder if I wear my pussy hat will be making a political statement mr. Trump? I don't mean to but the fact that I'm wearing the Hat in and of itself it's a statement. And I believe what the hat stands for. Now it looks like I'm going to have to find demonstration / protest I can attend where I can wear my pussy hat. But not today. Today I m hanging close to the apartments. last night after I was stranded in my chair and rescued I was stranded again in front of my computer. Luckily I have a charger next to my system and I just plugged in the charger end reset my chair. I don't have that luxury when I am out and about. I have been sitting here in my chair all morning and afternoon wondering what will happen the next time I become stranded. In my discussion with the tech at Alpine Medical he said that there is reset button on the chair or on the motor somewhere I've looked and cannot find them. I even searched the little bit on the internet I could not find a solution there either. But the more I zoom around the apartments the more I realize I cannot let this phenomenon keep me hostage to the charger. I'm going to have to take my chances on the outside and just see what happens. In fact now I'm even considering can you one of those little medical alert pendants you can wear around your neck. I know that's really stepping over the geriatric line but what the heck is that  not what it is all about? I mean if I was wearing such device in my chair should fail who would come if I pressed the button? I think it's kind of a funky idea but until I can get the chair I believe in again it may be worth exploring.