I had this title on my blog ideas page for sometime . I have never really thought about fleshing it out but for some reason, this morning, I'm getting some motivation to work on the peace. Last night just before falling off to sleep I had some pain in my left kidney area sharp jabbing not lot just a little pain which, in all honesty spooked me. The pain or thought of pain actually kept me up a good part of it night. I finally turned on the light and rummaged around in this box I keep next to my bed and found two Tylenol tablets, which I took with the half a bottle of water and promptly fell back asleep.
This incident got me thinking, as I age, how much longer could I do this kind of stuff so living on my own. Because sooner or later later I am going to start Falling apart, it's only natural If I Stay alive and continue the aging process I'm just going to get weaker and become more at risk of falling, breaking something or even worse the big “S” stroke or the heart attack. It's only natural.
I have to admit the concept still terrifies me any one of the aforementioned tragedies which must be played out at some point in the endgame. However, the tragedy does not terrify me as it once did even a short year ago. I can't say that I can blame that on the Covid but I'm sure you had something to do with my acceptance of the end. In actuality I'm doing really well for a quadriplegic more than 50 years post and being 70 years old. In fact I'm the only quad left of the classic quadriplegics I went to rehabilitation with in 1966. You could say on the last quad sitting but more to the point in the Salt Lake area there were a number of spinal cord injured survivors were getting by one day at a time. I'm surprised more have not succumbed. If I count my friend Sheelan, there's three quads I have known locally who have passed on. Actually there's probably more of those three I can identify if needs be. If you add in paraplegics and head injuries, there's still a bunch of gimps out there running around Salt Lake City's and I guess everywhere else. This is good, living is not a competition. Isn't it? I quite frankly do not have the energy to compete with somebody else just to stay alive. I have my hands full just give you my own self alive without having to look over my shoulder to see who still rolling after me. It's simpler this way I only have to worry about myself. There's a group of us especially those of us who work together at the Independent living Center back in the 80s 90s and oughts. Julie and Deborah are still alive and kicking (excuse the pun). My buddy Alan, and the whole para posse that plays basketball and basically chums around. They're all still alive looking forward to the next sport season they want to enjoy whether it's tennis, basketball or snow skiing. I guess there's been some waterskiing of late as well. Sometimes I think those guys will last forever from Tony baloney to Almost Al . They might be slowing down but not by much I'm always amazed.
I'm not in a competition, that goes without saying, but I don't want to die first either. True those other notables have passed on and that's all right but there's a group is now that seem to be hanging on and I have this mental image of poker players holding their cards close to their chest making sidelong glances those players on each side looking to see which lay down their big bet first and see who wins. Of course nobody wins except to be the last gimp standing…
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