So Long 2016,

I'm actually feeling pretty decent for Saturday even though I'm locked into my apartment complex block. Actually go across the street if I want I can go south to the coffee shop and a very authentic Hispanic restaurant or across the Redwood Road  and go to true value and possibly a couple fast food joints that are less than desirable to me right now. One is an Arctic Circletthe other one is a Hawaiian food joint. In fact I stopped there yesterday to get a burger I really thought they had burgers but as wrong. There will crestfallen when I looked over the menu and decide to leave. If I wants pam I can  stay home and open a can. If I want to terrorize myself I can travel in the road  until I get to an intersection right now that's pretty darn spooky even for me. I guess I could flag down a 217 and right South Clay got to a major intersection with amenities this be a lot of work on a cold day..  It's New Year's Eve probably best to stay inside and hang out.  

I am doing okay have more than enough food to worry about. I got Italian coffee beans yesterday, and one of the residents dumped a lot of food on the giveaway shelf in the great room yesterday which I  ans of food: fruit, vegetables , juice,, milk in a box. I could've gotten more  but don't know what have you done with it.  I have a bottle of wine in the fridge but I've been holding onto for years tonight  might be a good night drink it – – vampire wine seriously that's what is called. Either way I think it's good to be quiet night. There was talk about having some sort of a  senior function in the great room for New Year's Eve at 2 o'clock this afternoon but I don't know if that is goingto happen and even if it does happen to know if I'd want to go to that.you have a military guy committed again some sort of renewal comes seems to all the old folks. I should go take pictures just because..


I guess I should say something about the end of the year even though it's kind of  trite. I hate to think that I'm going to say  I'm glad to see this year comes with an end.  I hate  the fact that my marriage came in to an end, I hate the fact that I lost my house  but I guess I have moved on and I must accept these things and I have been pleased to be living where I am I'm happy to have the capital that I have  the ability to work with what I've got. I'm glad to lost weight  and I look forward to the next year.  Still have mixed feelings about how this year and the but such is life… Happy new year.

Hunkering Down

I'm stranded we know that from yesterday's post. I guess I'm not totally stranded.. I really want to risk my life I can roll on the side of the road/street and get to what I need to get to – – the local market most of the time. It's risky but doable. Then there's always the phone my brother or someone else who has a vehicle and they can go pick something up for me at the market if I really need to have that item. But I think mostly it's just in my mind that I feel I'm locked in.. It's a nice place to be locked in. I'm warm I have food I prepared well for this kind of isolation and is all kinds of people around me. Granted, there older that I am many cases by decades but still the good folk. I guess my frustration also is the fact that I'm stuck in the middle of two major holidays, two federal holidays aand there is no one in their offices that has any power to make any change. I just have to be patient I cannot fault folks choosing to use their annual leave between holidays are losing it at the end of the year. I have been there I've been one of those people who couldn't be got hold of over this time.

This morning was “coffee Time” that time every Thursday morning when residents/apartment dwellers get together and chat. It's the same group of people with a coffee klatch– – some gossip, some real news and some feeling of togetherness. There is usually a member of the organization/management at this gathering and this person is by training a social worker but she doesn't do any direction or leading just sits in. Interesting. I'm a bit of a novelty in this group being the only male – – there been a couple other guys that's dropped in often on since I've been here but on the consistent one. I am just recently, the last couple of weeks, been speaking up more and more feeling like I belong.. This is been a good feeling even one that has me looking forward to the meetings.. This morning I brought up the issue of the snow in many of these folks use power chairs to assist their mobility even if they can walk short distances. They all know what I am talking about as far as not being able to access sidewalks or bus stops during the snow.. They'll feel something needs to be done, that local elected folk should do something about pressing local government types to do some snow removal that would assist us at least get the bus stops are the market across the street safely. Right now you're pretty much constrained until after the first of the year when the bureaucrats get back to their offices in the decisions can be made to or not to remove the snow. It would be nice if waterfront would push in and start thaw but I'm sure there will be another storm before then.

Stranded!!

It's cold now the storm has moved on and I am  left to deal with its result.. Woke up very early this morning I think I was excited about the prospect of having my power chair repaired and maybe taking it out for a run. I was not being naive in respect that the mere fact that it snowed yesterday or day before – – on Christmas Day – – I knew I'd be in for some challenges but I still want to see just how far I can get with this piled up snow. I really want to get to my bank so I can get my counter checks, since my regular checks have still not arrived.. I was a little bummed that my branch which I used at the community college is closed over holiday break. It does not really surprised me but I was really hoping for more..

I quickly finished my morning activities as best I could then got dressed in a great white coat and glove to head out to get to where I can get. I was quite dismayed in that the snow had been removed only as far as the apartment boundaries.. After that the sidewalks and not been touched and their great piles of snow in the intersection or curb cuts. I was at least hoping driveways particularly from the apartment complex to the street were fairly clear. Luckily one is which allows me at least to cross the street.. But after that snow blockades. The streets themselves are clear and if I just get out into them I'll be okay . Actually I spend about 15 minutes shoveling snow off of one sidewalk entry only to find that once I got to the main sidewalk I was confronted with a wall still even at the UTA bus stop. I was really hoping UTA would maintain their bus stops at least to some point of access.. It's been a couple days now since the storm hit we should have better access than what we have now.

I rolled,in the street, facing traffic, on Redwood Road. It's always surprising to me ho lite traffic is on these roads during the day.I was able to get to the market and the merchants in that little ville. There were a couple of times that oncoming traffic came pretty close but overall it was a decent roll . So fortunate that not only is there a market but a pharmacy as well oon this block. I was able to get fresh fruit, lube and clearance items which was kind of fun I Which I'm really glad.

I have to admit I'm feeling pretty landlocked right now.. I can see I really have my work cut out for me to see if I can get better service on the sidewalks around our facility. This is going to require was likely meeting with our talking to the mayor, Councilman//woman as well as Marion the director of Utah nonprofit who I think wields for a little power. Hopefully I can also enlist folks here at the apartment complex. He would meet all our combined needs to be able to travel on clear sidewalks during the snow season… This can be done.

Put Me In Coach I'm Ready To Play

.I knew this day was going to be a challenge from the onset. Even if 8 inches of snow had not fallen over the holiday and even if the temperature was above freezing today would still be challenging. Today's the day that outside medical indicated I could get my chair repairs in a two hour period of time. The only problem is how do I get my power chair from where I am in Taylorsville to alpine medical particularly if I am not in the chair? This question has been plaguing me even before I set the appointment. Initially, Alpine indicated it would take a couple of days to service the chair but later they called back indicating they could cause the repair in two hours.
Two hours I can do in my manual chair even though I haven't used my manual chair hardly at all since my surgery.. So I've little intimidated from that standpoint. However, I have to do what I have to do. I'd hoped I could get someone to take my chair in with the truck like my brother or my friend Duane or anyone. The great snowfall of course is a major challenge even if I could've got to the van I have been informed that the battery is dead in the van is covered in snow. I guess it could been dug out but I couldn't really ask Carl to do that – – he would and so what have Mark A but it was just too short notice. And Dianne is right for gotta stop asking Carl to do this kind of stuff it's just not fair and possible too dangerous.
I had hoped that in the worst case scenario that I could actually just drive my chair with me inside to the shop and there have someone help me transfer to another chair while they worked on my power chair. I never considered going in my chair before because the procedure would take a couple of days. So now it was an option but when I called and ask themthey indicated that that would be okay if I could transfer myself they cannot help me which is really kind of stupid because Alpine haslifts and could transfer me over. I decided to use the cab who has transported me before. I did not think it would be an issue to transport my power chair without me being in it.. Well when I called I got the answering service and they never know anything.. So I have to wait till the manager got in let me know they would be able to transport the chair. Up to that point I was getting quite discouraged because everything seemed to be not working. The answering service was sure they cannot transport my chair without me . And alpine medical need to have a commitment that I would be there for my 1 o'clock appointment. It did not look like I was going to make it. Finally, Ute Cab's called to advise me they could transport the chair – – I've given up and called Alpine told them I would not be able to make the appointment. Luckily each time I called to cancel I had received the answering machine. I was able to contact Alpine and let them know I was still coming in and luckily for me they had not cancel my appointment. Now it was just a matter of spending a couple of hours in my manual chair of the repairs being made..
I'm holding my breath have never done this kind of thing before with cabs and such. I have to admit I will be totally excited if in fact the chairs repaired and quite usable again. The lesson I have learned once again is not to give up, keep stepping up to the plate and keep on swinging.

Christmas Miracle

It's Christmas – – the most wonderful time of the year – – and I'm sitting here alone in my apartment cooking a roast. Last year I was sitting alone in my room at the skilled nursing facility because I screwed up being for and got my wife angry at me by inadvertently making fun of my daughter. The year before that the family went to Washington to have Christmas wit Brooks in Washington when he was living up there. So can be used to being alone on Christmas day.. It's okay. I think over the years I've developed sort of a fantasy that I live out in my head on certain items of things in one of his Christmas Day or the whole Christmas season. I like to believe my Christmas is a compilation of all the Christmas scenes in the best Christmas movies and Saturday evening Post covers.

The snow came last night and quite surprised me. They been talking about a large storm coming in – – they always talk about large weather events coming in that breakout or fall apart just as they come into our area. So I was in my room all around 10 or 11 last night big window which faces out and is well lit by an overhead street lamp and I could see a major snow dump going on.. In fact I watch the snow tumbledown until 2 AM when I forced myself to go to bed.. It was a magical night.

I slept until about 8 AM I hardly ever happens except one except when I go to bed at 2 AM.. I admired the snowfall got ready for the day. A couple days ago I stopped in at the market purchased a $24 roast.. The rest is beautiful, fairly well marbled and is named Chuck. I searched various cooking methods o YouTube and got a pretty good idea on how to prepare the meat.. I know it sounds funny but this is exactly what I wanted to do today. I think going back to my fantasy concept I'm preparing a meal and great Christmas meal and family would love. Last night I even wished I'd gone to the liquor store and gotten a small bottle of booze to make a toast and I may still do that at New Year's knows?

I called a few friends and family this mornin or they called me. I wish you a Merry Christmas and advised them to stay home and not to worry about coming round if they had a mind to. I went down to the front of the building to check on the laundromat to see if there were any machines available. I stopped in the lobby where people have set up a candy shrine. Residents are dumping off candy and other goodies in the main area for the rest of the apartment folk. I've been giving almond Roca which I got from the drugstore couple blocks away. I've been used for gifts this year. I had one can left over so I decided to take it down and drop it off on the candy pile. When I got down to the lobby the family who isusing the great room for a family dinner saw me adding my contribution to the five. There the family of one of the folks here in the apartments. Anyway, my neighbor was having the dinner had her daughter put together a plate, a real roast beef dinner with desserts! This was my Christmas miracle. It was odd because last night watching the snow fall I wonder where the Christmas miracle was this year. Not that I expect to have a Christmas miracle every year but one usually shows up somewhere along the line in this year's Christmas dinner was mine.. Merry Christmas and God bless us everyone.

High Probability Of Snow

Today is Christmas Eve I am amazed to find myself in my own apartment, divorced and trying to get by. I tend to think I'm doing okay but still I feel paranoid time to time, waiting for sucker Punch come out nowhere and Roundhouse me down to the mats. I seem to be living here – – actually I am kind of proud of myself for going to the mailbox everyday and digging out my mail and actually opening the documents as they come.. I don't like doing this but I'm forcing myself. I really hate EOBs(Explanation Of Benefits). I love the way they always write on the top of the document “This is not a bill”. Yeah so? It shows you what the not been a cover which means there's a bill out there with your name on it you just have got it yet. But I know it's coming it's just a matter of time. I used to live in denial and just throw these documents away. Then there's the never ending parade of federal documents mostly from Medicare about like anything. Most of these documents are benign but you have to be tense like when the dentist drilling on your head and you are novocained into oblivion but you still don't relax fear the dentist will drill through the barrier of numbness. I know the second out of my guard down at the mailbox Bam Pow thereyou go down to the mats..

I dropped off a Christmas gift to the R A – – resident advisor – – who of course asked me what I was doing for Christmas and I told her “nothing”.. And I got to thinking that's pretty much been the case for the last couple years. Dianne usually went over to the kids place on Christmas Eve and spent the night. I assume that's what she's doing this year. I got a couple halfhearted invitations but there still is the problem of getting me into where ever I might be invited. I'm okay with being home Christmas. I went to the market yesterday and got a fine roast. I'm kind of excited about cooking the meat up.I might even bake something cake, cookies or roles that come in a container.. I could do anything. I must admit I have a little bit of CEE (Christmas Eve Envy)I think I might be a little jealous of people and places to go and things to do on Christmas eve. Catholics have midnight mass usually after a family dinner/party. My old buddy Dr. McIntyre always had a great party at his home on Christmas Eve. We even tried to have parties at my home When I was growing up with Our neighborhood and even the extended family which was kind of okay. And once, on the first Christmas of the first marriage, we had a midnight dinner on Christmas Eve with all of our old roommates  and is one of the best memories I have of the holidays.

I kind of like the feel of Christmas Eve – – I kind of wish I'd gone to the liquor store and got some vodka or gin to have one drink over the holiday but I think too late now. It's raining is a high probability of snow…

What Ever The Process Is…

Thank God it is the first day of winter! From here on out days light will begin lengthening as we head towards brighter and warmer times.. However today is cold and gray for the first day winter. I would just as soon not go out but I am afraid I still have a little Christmas shopping to do if I dare. I believe it will take one bus ride at least but all on Redwood Road so it straight shot transiting. But before I do that I am going to have to get Jim to shore up my chair to the point where it will be rideable for any great distance.

The time has been literally months since I started the process of of getting repairs done on my chair. I was not so desperate to be comical if not ironic. I literally have no arm on the left side of my chair. Thank goodness my scoliosis ppulls me to the right side and I am belted into my chair. My foot pedals are so damaged that can barely keep myself in my chair. I have to actually get back and pull my feet back under the foot pedals in order to get anywhere. I'm going to call my provider this afternoon to see what we can do this is ridiculous gotta be able to sit in my chair. In fact yesterday I was up front waiting for the mailman to finish the delivery and there's actually a Med source guy outfront working on a chair. I was so envious of the person having the chair repaired.. I spoke to the guy see if there were any options for me but it was more of the same: repairs must be submitted to insurance and wait wait wait. However I result myself for this and I can get b though I looked pathetic… So what's new?

It's Christmas week and it's winter solstice. I just spoke with my brother who has been battling cancer over the last couple years and is grateful to hear he was okay or is okay right now. I'm so thankful to be as healthy as I am right now even with a root canal done earlier in the week. I'm still getting some discomfort from the procedure and the healing process but I'm really thankful to be me,, be here at the apartments and because far along in the process whatever the process is.

Tooth Ache

I have to admit I was not broken hearted this morning when I spoke to Dave and he informed me that there would be no meeting this morning of the Assist advisory board . I just didn't feel up to transiting all the way into the city today not after yesterday's challenge..

I suffered through the night with the molar that seem to have gone rogue back my mouth. Actually it suffered with the to fall through the weekend. It got worse and worse and even though I took my ibuprofen regimen the night before the the drug did little to get the pain through the night .. I got up shaved got dresse and waited for 8:00 AM. At the stroke of 8 AM I called Dr. Jones my dentist.. Of course all I got was the recording which told me that no one was until 9 AM. I got dressed and cleaned up around the house and called at 9 AM and left a message.. I got involved in small projects but about 11 o'clock had not heard back from Jones office so I called again and the receptionist informed me you try to get a hold of me three times to let me know that I had at 1220 appointment. 1220! Boy! The receptionist wanted know if I was going to make it – – I thought of my pain and said yes I'll be there. I thought about taking the bus, my traditional mode of transit but I didn't think I would make it I did not want to risk being late. I decided to bite the bullet an take  Redcab service  i have used before but very sparingly.

I called the cab they said they would pick me up by 12p.m.– – in fact the cab showed up at 1155 wondered where I was at. I got to the dentist office and Drew Luke,, took some pictures basically told me he couldn't do anything for me and said the best option was an endodontist. Long story short we found an endodontist would take me at 220 if I can get there. Taking a big gulp I called Red cab again .. The first cab cost me $22 the trip to the endodontist cost $18 I was spending money fast.. I'm just pleased to have the cash spent at this point in time.

I ended up going to an Endo had no idea who they were. I regular Endo was closed down probably having the Christmas party which only makes sense this time of year. But the placement relatively new large and expensive – – they must do good work and a lot of it – – I didn't have best choice though this guys going to do it. This guy was Dr. Howard will like kind of a young guy but was quite skilled. I instantly had total faith in him. He got to work shopping with tons of analgesic but did not put me under. He was cool seem totally focused but was engaged with folks around him especially his assistant. He did a great job. I was out of there around 4:15 PM. I got the bus home, saved a lot of money… After payment of $609.99 it was the least I could do.

Monday Shocker

I got a appointment today with Dr. Jones this morning for the pain of and having in my tooth. Is quite a shockI almost missed the appointment because I did not realize they called back. I took a Cost me more than $21 for the Than I took the red taxi to the endodontist for a root canal! $609. It has been a stressful day. I'm spending so much money so fast can barely stand it. Then I got information from Dianne  regarding information shall need for taxes. It has been a shocking day all around. Then I find my healthcare person is not coming over tonight I have a substitute. I just wish I could eat something.

Giving Back

Blog 1216 16 – – Friday

Yesterday was a near perfect day, well maybe not perfect but it's the kind of day I would like to be spending more of. Yesterday the 15^th was the day of the annual U I L C Christmas party or holiday function. I was fortunate enough to be asked be Santa Claus one more yearat this annual function. I've been Santa at this event more or less for 20 years. Of course, I missed last year's function because I was recovering from neurosurgery for my stenosis. This year I'm just recovering from divorce.

Because it was Thursday I had my normal touchy-feely session offered here at the apartments of Thursday morning coffee group. There's about five or six or seven of us that get together under the watchful eye social worker with the organization and we just talk. It's not therapyit is just talk.. I don't talk a lot I'm usually the only male participant which is okay and I am usually the youngest one of the group. Don't have a lot off the other senior women in the group. I do not know how different the there was a “men's group”. Or maybe I'm just antisocial that could be.

Luckily I was able to excuse myself from early so I could access public transit over to independent living center. I was able to make the trip relatively quickly getting to the center just in time for the meal. This year the fare was spaghetti. There is also garlic bread and corn.. The meal was not bad all things considered. My friend Kim stressed me as usual soon I was out on the floor as Santa. This is a good year I was surprised at how fast the event went. We did the usual I handed out candy canes visited briefly with each of the visitors who want to come up and see Santa, we took pictures and got to the whole ordeal less than an hour. In years past we gone up to three hours. So by the time they turn me loose I realized I had ample time to get over to Utah Non-Profit Housing Corporation.. I had a board meeting scheduled for Thursday that I did not think I was going to be able to attend because of bein Santa. When I got to the Corporation I had about an hour to wait before the beginning of the meeting.

It was great being at the board meeting especially since I missed last year's December meeting being at the skilled Nursing Facility. These people really like me. The meeting was a good meeting I received presents one from last year and the one from this year. This year was a box of mixed nuts from th Nut House– – really great nuts and a really great gift.

I was pleased and fortunate to have good weather to travel by yesterday. However the rain did start in the early evening as I was traveling home. The rain was not bad the temperature was not cold. I had done my duty I had attended my meetingsI had given back to my community. Today I got lucky

In The Details

I continue to be plagued with either a laptop that will not be connected to the Wi-Fi or Wi-Fi that will not stay connected to my laptop 

either way I am frustrated having to go through a number of hoops just to get something posted.. Theoretically I should be able to access Wi-Fi here the building with my laptop and post from that but as you know, for some reason Wi-Fi and my laptop are only intermittent friends at best. Last week I was able to access the Wi-Fi from my laptop for three consecutive days. That was the best I've ever done. This week it seems it's been impossible to access the Internet via my Toshiba.. I pay about $27 on top of my rent in order to use the Wi-Fi as well as cable TV. At this point I could do without the cable TV but I would like to be able to work in Internet through my laptop. Yesterday I got a brochure in the mail teasing me to get the Internet and cable service for just $59. I got to thinking this is just $32 more than currently paying for dismal service maybe it's worth the investment to be free of Internet stagnation/frustration.. So I went back to my apartment and called Comcast.

I went through the initial recordings but I made my call finally got to somebody but anime of April. She was sounded nice but she really cared and wanted to help me get the best service possible. I tried to explain to April how I have the service currently and how I would like to have service that was dependable and not frustrating to work with. She said she understood.. Then she began searching for the best deal possible and to untangle the findings is currently enmeshed in through the apartments. It seemed to take forever but that was okay I had my whole morning. I wasn't going anywhere. The weather outside is damp And cold.April gathered my address, Social Security number even, checked my credit rating somewhere between placing me on hold and open discussions with her supervisor wwhom I assumed was listening to the call. Frankly I was amazed at how much time April is putting into this call.. I wondered if she was new and this was part of her training curve. Regardless I started getting nervous as we got closer to the end of the call. For whatever reasons it seemed like the cost of $59 was escalating. I was okay at first but then begin to get perturbed as I thought about all the people at this facility where I live that are getting their cable and Internet access for $27 and I'm going to be at $59. Then I learned that not only was initial cost $59 plus a setup fee, plus rent on equipment and two or three other charges that by the days endI would be in the project about 125 bucks and then my monthly cost would be $69 something. I know I probably crushed for April who had gone above and beyond her calling as a CSR (consumer sales representative).. As part of this bundle is even getting for phone numbers which I did not want, which totally confused me in which I had to take they would not sell me this bundle of services without the virtual phone numbers. This put me over the edge and I flat out told April I did not want the service. I would just continue to live by on the poor Wi-Fi I have at my facility. The cable is all right I just assume not have it but that's part of the Wi-Fi. I can use the Wi-Fi with my tablet and my cell phone and the more I think of it I probably get rid of the TV cable and just suck the Wi-Fi out of the building. And use whatever I get.

I'm sure somewhere along the line I shot myself in the foot somehow. And it's silly having to run all over just to post this entry to my blog. I would love to have a modem all to myself but I guess that's not to be... just yet.

Glazed Eyes

I bank at Mountain America credit Union and I was pleased as punch to find that the credit union had a branch office at Salt Lake Community College couple blocks from my apartment's.. This is even closer than when I was at the house in Murray. I ordered checks when I moved in to these apartments and they have not coming so I stopped into the branch on campus to see if there's a problem.. I think I've mentioned before how much I enjoy being on campus and vamping the energy young people exhibit.. I think I also mentioned that I was interested in taking a class for seniors on campus are actually take advantage of a program where seniors can audit a class for $10 a semester this is a deal. You have to sign a waiver form known they gave me one which I immediately lost. So is also back on campus to get another form to fill out.So I was wandering around reading the bulletin boards when my eyes happened upon an advertisement for a position which pays approximately 2500 a semester. I know this not a lot of money but this would greatly offset my cost on home healthcare. Because it's paid by the semester I suspect this is a work-study position and one that I probably would not even be eligible for but I thought I would ask just the same. This is like an assistance to somebody position in multicultural affairs on campus. Years ago I was an assistant/associate Dean and disability affairs at the University I graduated from.. So I kind of know how situation is. The advertisements that the check with the office of multicultural affairs for information which I did.

I was blown away with nostalgia as I asked individual at the desk about the position.. Of course her eyes glazed over immediately looked up towards the ceiling and was totally at a loss for what I was talking about.. She immediately indicated she would head to the back to ask someone with more authority than her what this was about. In a few minutes I was speaking to someone definitely older but someone who was also in the same fog. This person had been with bureaucracy longer you could tell because she started loading a load of you know what a pure Bureau-talk about how I would have to fill out all kinds of forms,, drop off a resume the whole 9 yards like a regular job.. She was clearly dancing for time. Then she indicated that fine comeback on Wednesday speak to the head of the office she would know more about the situatiothen. The thing sounds pretty ifffy . I wouldn't mind a part-time job on campus and possible and since I'm going to be on campus… I hope come January when I take this class it would be doubly fun to take the class and have a part-time job. I don't know if I'm overloading my plate for what the heck it doesn't hurt to find out.

I think I can do it and like I said it's worth a shot and I think been involved doing seems like this would be great for my disposition and by home health care.

Sunday Pizza Day

Today is Sunday it has been up for the beautiful day. I got fairly earlywash dishes,, made some coffee got dressed went down washed clothes.. I'm basically done with the close though I still have a few things to fold and hang up. I went over to the market and did some Christmas shopping. It was supposed to be partly cloudy which I guess it has been at the sun shone and it was relatively warm when I was out and long sleevesiin just my vest. I swear the day ffelt like spring!

I did not know better I would say mmy world, here in Salt Lake, is becoming less and less accessible. As I have been shopping incessantly the last couple days I've never bbecome more aware of my inability to reach things especially in the marketplace. Each time I go I swear I'm going to have to take a stic/hook with me in order to reach things. Luckily I have no compunction in asking someone for help that is it that someone is around.. I have to be patient and wait for that someone to come by. I sort of like doing that with the meager form socialization I guess it is rather pathetic.. But you would think at this stage of the game accessing materials of the market will become much more doable. I must admit staff at these places are much more open to help or at least they understand the need more than they use to. I guess in fairness I need to accept the idea that it would be impossible to make it totally accessible market place. Perhaps, the market I use most of all is a bit older and has older freezer bins make it impossible for me to lean over in my power chair and access something deep down in the freezer.. It would be challenging get something out even with the hook.

I'm so excited! Mark was here last night aassisting me straighten up my house and in the process my printer! In the day just for the fun of it when I saved this document I printed it just to see if I could and I could and I did. I feel fine.

Now to ffinish my day I am going to make a pizza. Seriously I've been threatening to do this for a week now. About a couple pounds of hamburger last week that was on quick sale and since then I've been getting things together to make a hamburger pizza here at the house/apartment..I have a green pepper,, I have an onion I have a can of olives, I have a bag of shredded cheese, I have a can sliced mushrooms I am set. I just hope I can get the pizza pie out of the oven when it's done.

Old Friend

I had lunch yesterday with an old girlfriend – – someone who is reentered my life in the last couple of months. It's kind of weird but some interesting. Oh there's nothing there as far as the romantic goes, just two peopl who used to know each other in another time and another place.

We really linked up again thanks to Facebook a year or so I guess. She has family lives in Salt Lake as well as voicing so this was stopping place for her many times during the year as her family seems to be going through a real death spasm right now.she called me early in the week to find out more about the divorce.. It was kind of weird but me and I figured I should suggest that we get together before she leaves town which we did. We met at the loca Dee's restaurantwwhich is just a half a block from my apartment complex. We had a good conversation. We talked about our lives, our kids, our spouses of non-spouses etc. but we had planned for the rest of our lives. It was all polite all very appropriate.

We met at the Mormon dances 50 some years ago. We went to different junior high schools went across town from the other.. I still remember she was with a group of girls standing in a cluster and I got my courage up and I walked over and tapped her on the shoulder and we danced. I looked for her the next week and she was there and we just again by the third week we were fairly exclusive dancing the whole night together. We really only met at the dances not really having a way to get back and forth to meet any of the time during the week which is probably just as well. The following summer our church which is made up of many subgroups called wards put together a 24^th of July celebration which brought all the youth together for a musical Festival on that day. There were a number of rehearsals at the stadium where the event was to be held which was also in my side of the time. So I met her at a couple of these reversals. Oddly this summer for an event happened I had my accident and things forever changed. We had a couple dates after my accident – – she even volunteered at the rehabilitation facility where I was going through rehab but I was too messed up physically and mentally at that time to appreciate her efforts. Of life went significantly different ways which is very interestingly remarkable.. I don't know if we would have been good together are and stay together. I hope we get any happier today than they are now but it was good to see her I appreciate her making effort to have the courage to look me up..          

Baggage

I think it's weird that I have such a good are accurate long-term memory. This is been reinforced in me many times over iLife special my ex-wife,, Dianne was always amazed at the things I recall. I do very poor at short-term memory trying to remember things even yesterday is a challenge or could've had a conversation and trying to convey what happened a few hours ago leaves me blank.

I don't know what happened somehow I've lost all my addresses particularly, my family addresses the ones I use to send Christmas cards.. So when this happens I call one of my siblings to see if I can get a copy of their list. Actually, I enlisted my brother,, who lives here in town for his last which he promptly brought over but many of the numbers on that list are no longer functional. So the number that did work was to my older sister Fay who lives in Kansas. This turned into a long conversation over an hour! We had a great time visiting and recalling things from our past. She is 11 years older than I am so she was often my babysitter. During the course of the conversation we talked about a cousin that lived with us and I was very young.. In fact this cousin and her sister both lived with us. And one of the girls got married about this time and the wedding was held in our house which I distinctly remember because my older brother and I were displaced from our bedroom for the ceremony and occasion.. My sister says there's no way I can remember this is is only six months or a year old but I remember. This all happened in “the old house” when we lived on Latah Street. It was a great old house which still stands to this day. I would love to get in it now and explore and find lost memories of my childhood..

We had a great conversation. I don't know why I go so long between visits like this. May be I'm afraid of being rejected or somethin part of my baggage of being in adopted child.

Hang In There Larry

Blog December 6, 2016 – – Tuesday

It's cold today but not as cold as I thought it was going to be however. I got up was always called David at Assist with informed me that it was too cold to have a meeting today. I thought that was kind of lame but I really had things I have to do and so I welcomed not having a although in Salt Lake is for an hour. I got ready,, stop by Jim's fixed my sight of my chair and then I headed off to find a box to mail my brothers birthday gift in and to find gift cards for the girls.

I was told there was a post office in Harmon just up the street from where I live so I jumped on the bus and got off in Harmon's. I was so surprised at how much area stuff was in the area. There are two banks in the current me that maybe I didn't have to go to mount America credit Union is my bank and maybe these offices would have the Visa gift cards are looking for.. I was surprised that neither the banks carried Visa cards any longer. And frighteningly I think I am beginning to see a pattern develop I still want to check with mount America see if they do the gift cards and if not then I will just go ahead andsend moneyand let Shelley divvied up. I really hate doing just this way but I don't see any other way togft things.

I returned home and got my pimp coat because it was just too heavy for the day. Even though the weather forecasters said it was going to be cold it wasn't cold enough for the great white. I changed into a lighter garment and took off again to the local market where I purchased a bunch of stuff which a questionably need. I got materials to make meals with and so is the like salted peanuts and on Roca I'm definitely doing something weird. The day turned colder on my way home. I put my groceries away just hangout in my apartment. I spent more time on Facebook that I should and I was shocked to find stint of damage the stroke levied on my friend Larry ORR. He still in hospital and I didn't know. I need to go see him one of these first days but maybe I'll wait till after the cold I am such a wuss.

Acceptance

As I begin my second month here at the apartments I am really focusing on trying to bring some order to my lifestyle. I am finding that regardless of how focus I try to be on either cleaning the apartment or keeping what little orderI do have it the apartments is a formidable task. I don't know of chaos just likes the vex me aren't really that much of a slob. I find it just doing one task I will make five or six more tasks for me to deal with. I should like to bring my power chair many times as I swivel her turn in the kitchen the handle in the back by chair often catches on something sticking out of the stove or the cupboards are the edge of the sink and down it goes to the floor. Many times making a gigantic mess as it descends. Fortunate for me I have fairly decent patients and even if I know the task of cleaning will be significant I just accept the setbackand return to the project I was doing .

Yesterday was a great case in point. I was pretty focused and excited doing something with a couple packages of ribs I purchased last week.. I had frozen them pulled them out early morning yesterday to thought so I can place the ribs in the crockpot and cook for hours. But in the space of 30 seconds it seemed that I bumped a half a cup of coffee on the floor plus a glass and drink plus a bottle of soy sauce – – but goodness it was nearly empty – – which brings the remaining contents all oveccancel thatr the floor. In the morning I fixed fried eggs and the shells are still on top of the stove and of course those got added to the mix on the floor. I did not even curse. I took the chao in stride and finished setting up the crockpot that would soon receive the ribs.. But what remained was a hideous mess.. The trouble is this happens to me all the time.. This morning I was getting something out of fridge in the back of my chair space caught the garbage can I keep by the table and spell it and it's contents oover the kitchen floor. I took a deep breath finished by task in the fridge and pushed the garbage back to the camp and said to can upright.

I did not even try to clean up the soy sauce mess choosing instead to let the bug juice dry and remove it when I mop the whole floor. I did sweep up after the soy sauce drops had dried removing the eggshells and other paraphernalia that's landed on the floor. I've come to the conclusion that I need help/assistance which means spending more money. I wish I could do this by myself but chaos bending me to her well. I suppose a couple hours a week in the living space need and semi-tidy is worth the payout..

Long Day

I woke this morning at 4:30 AM at least, that's what time it was when I reached over and looked at my cell phone. I tried to go back to sleep I really did but to no avail.. The best I can do was just laying there in bed and get as close to 6 AM as possible. Seems like after a certain hour during the night if I wake up I'm up for all day. If I'm very careful and not focus on anything to think of after waking early time, sometimes I can get back to sleep. However,, once my brain engages and I start thinking about things particularly the new day ahead of me I think I just get too excited and I cannot get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. I might be excited to eat – – something I might create for breakfast or perhaps something good for the night before I. E. cold pizza from the night before,, or fryng up a pound of bacon or even a hot bowl of oatmeal mush could be enough to do me in. It's not food, then I started thinking about all the things I am going to do during the day. This also excites me to the point of no sleep. There are days I wake up and I know they'll be a darkness, that rarely happens thank goodness. I would rather be forced to wake at good thoughts as opposed to dark/evil thoughts. I bought two packages of country ribs a couple weeks ago and immediately froze the packages. Today I woke to the sure knowledge that I would cook these ribs, make barbecue ribs on Sunday. I'm going to put them in a slow cooker, a crockpot, and cooking for hours. However I needed to get spices, Worchester shire sauce and barbecue sauce. Of course once that is loaded in my little brain and its eyes open for the rest of the day. I Have all materials for tomorrow now I just have to get myself to sleep for the next challenge!

Kinda Gouchy

I was sick last week,, I had a feve of 100 and something  that didn't have anything  on hand to combat the fever and the cough. This of course was all  in the realm  of Dianne's control  at the house. In the days that followed I made sure  that I started acquiring,, medicine OTC and prescription I never want to go through a couple days like that again. Actually it was Carl, my brother, who brought over top medicine  orange juice and other items needed for the sick person...


I slowly but surely  amended and feeling pretty good now  except for going through some dark periods where I was seriously thinking  that I should not be living on my own. This last month has been quite an experience. I cannot believe how I've had to struggle just to maintain the apartment I am in..  I'm still trying to figure out the whole scenario. I don't have enough counterspace in kitchen  so everything is getting stacked up and looks kind of bad. The same holds true for the bedroom..  I like to blame the messy look on the carpets but seriously asked not what it is it is me I just cannot keep up.

I try to keep the dishes of yet the lack of counterspace except challenging. I've been cooking meals and have like that.  I've been making a lot of casserole type of dishes and I like the way that tastes and  I do like having leftovers .. But still everything looks messy.  Today I'm trying to find a way to keep my meds to further not  an eyesore to the kitchen   but have not yet figured a place for them yet.. I think I may have figured something out  I'll just have to see if I can find a  trough container which might hold all the meds that I take. I've been trying to push the vacuum cleaner around and that in and of itself is a good workout. I do not know aa good job the vacuum does but the vacuum seems to be functional  if nothing else but a workout tool.

Last week  I purchased a new printer but couldn't get  functional.  My friend Duane  actually picked up the machine brought over to my house and we almost got it set up. We finished the job today.  Duane  also bought  a Wi-Fi booster  which I think is doing some good  in the worked on trying to get myself access to the Wi-Fi.  It actually worked for a little bit this afternoon which I thought was marvelous. I don't know if it'll continue to pick it up but it's a start.

Today is the Access, Inc. holiday  party that I was thinking of going to but it's so cold out and then I remembered today is bowel and bath night  I want to make sure I'm back in time  for that. So I'm going to miss the function.. Duane but over lunch, Chinese food, it was okay little fishy but not bad  it will give me something for dinner tonight. Duane  thinks I'm doing great living on my own disabled at this point in my life. Management believe also feels the same way.. Shelley called this morning and we had a good chat and got  some ideas for the girls for Christmas.  I'm just getting by  I guess that's all I can hope for is the head into the Christmas season.