I've really been quite surprised at the effect of the passing of my first wife, Karen. Oh I don't think I've told you guys but she passed away earlier this week. Like I said I'm surprised the passengers had such an impact on me nothing significant or life-changing just a feeling or awareness of what life could have been or might have been. Oddly, right now I'm involved in a lot of television series about alternate realities which makes me wonder how life could have been different in different realities. I've been in contact with both children and I think we've been using each other as sounding boards the process the passing. Besides my two kids there are two other kids Charles and James or Thing One and Thing Two. We are all family are blended Charles and James and my family really that usually take them all out on Kid Day. I'll have to check I think I have references to Kid Day somewhere else in this document If not I'll write about Kid Day in later posts.
Last night I visited with my daughter for about two hours helping her process the final days of moments with her mother. The event was quite emotional as I relived a lot of my life with Karen. Of course, Michelle had never really heard these stories before and I've never really thought about sharing them with her I did not know Karen had not shared any of these experiences with Michelle. Michelle's fascinated as I related the circumstances of our meeting in courtship and marriage in early life together and more pleasant times. I don't know if I'm now experiencing survivor's guilt or just guilt in general for a failed marriage. It was probably one that should never happened or one that we should not of tried to live a lifestyle that neither of us Really believed in.
Earlier this afternoon I had coffee with my next-door neighbor who had not seen all week because she's been ill. When I informed her of the passing of my first wife she inquired of the circumstances of our meeting as well and it was another documenting of our early history together. I find myself decompressing the little bit as I work through these histories and trying to shake the feelings of 40 some years off my back. Really kind of interesting.
Mark Anthony and my granddaughter, Jasmine, left yesterday to attend the funeral. Mark Anthony is going to try to facilitate Some kind of broadcast of what is going to pass as a funeral. I assume it will be a fairly small event with just a few of Karen siblings being able to attend as well as the kids only one is not going to be able to attend because he's in Japan teaching. I don't know if there'll be a time for testimony as in my late aunt Elaine's funeral which we had couple weeks ago but it will be interesting all the same and a feeling of closure. I hope Mark Anthony is able take some time with Michelle and process this event more thoroughly as well as be able to tie up loose ends and clean out last Karen's life of her little apartment. I guess I'll tune in for the event, I have a little anxiety as I contemplate but I'm fairly insulated with a couple hundred miles. The calling for snow tomorrow here in Salt Lake and perhaps that's best…
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