Saturday, March 24, 2018

But On Being Viseable


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There was no reason to go out to the coffee shop this morning. I have a perfectly good coffee at the house in fact I purchased and ground coffee yesterday at the coffee shop. I had filters I had water I had everything I needed, in fact I had not even taking my morning meds. I got up, got dressed and headed over to the coffee shop I did not even wear a coat or jacket. Maybe that was the reason the outside felt like spring I had to go and be somewhere.

The coffee shop was busy more so than I seen in some time. I got my coffee and even doctored it myself the task I usually leave for the staff of the coffee shop. But I figured what the heck my hands are painted on. I found a table not far from the door. I can sit there and watch the center tables were a group of folks hang out every Saturday morning I have noticed. I thought I had written about this phenomenon before in this blog but I cannot find a reference when I get the search. I think once I referred to this gathering as sophomoric. I really got the impression these guys all have known each other for years if not all the way back to high school and possibly back further than that. They are group and I have to admit in honesty I was/am somewhat envious of this gathering. This is a somewhat large group I think can to 15 people at least over the course of a Saturday morning. It's weird but I feel totally invisible, sitting at my table and watching this gathering of amicable beings.

A number of years ago I was part of a acting company sponsored by the organization I work for. I know I've written about this somewhere in this blog. But anyway, I wrote a short play called the Importance of Being Visible, a play examining the feelings of being a person with a disability and often feeling invisible to the able-bodied world. I still feel very strongly about that play in about the whole concept of when a person has a disability there are only marginally visible. People choose not to see what they want to see . So I decided, this morning I was going to sit at this table every Saturday morning until I eventually become part of the morning crowd. I think I sat at my table for about an hour watching and listening and when I went over to the coffee bar to get a refill of coffee one of the ladies from the table came over and assisted me removing the lid from my coffee cup and pour in some half-and-half into my coffee for me. This is a start! I think I've become an outline.

There was another person at a table not far from me I noticed him at the table not long after I took my place. I was getting ready to head out. I had sat at my table too long without moving and not taking my morning meds for my spasticity I was feeling very tight. In order not to totally spaz out of control I decided to tilt my chair back and reposition myself. This is not really a big deal to me but often it is to others who do not see people in power chairs like mine very often. As I brought myself back to the upright position this person at the other table asked me if I was getting relief for decubitus ulcers. His choice of words peaked my interest and I told him no, I was just doing some pressure releases and he understood this vernacular. Turns out he's a retired rec therapists and we had an extensive discussion. Oddly enough, this was his first time at Hidden Peaks. We talk sometime and I took my leave. I came away, today more than just an outline of a person I was pretty well colored in. I was not noticed by the “in” crowd but I was noticed and perhaps that is enough. I still plan to carry forth my quest for visibility over the next couple weeks but who knows maybe Dennis will be there next week too. If nothing else I made a new friend today and that's pretty cool.

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