But In A Good Way

I'm being challenged by someone I like a great deal. She is my writing partner if I had a writing partner she would be my writing partner. She is challenging me in a good way to reach back in to my inner self/child in touch things that are loaded spooking. I'm so impressed with my friend she seems to have no qualms/problems in shiny lights in her darkest areas. In fact she as a writer and teacher of writing skills, I see, she may have a gift for doing this and bring us out of other people I don't notice when a SIREN is but if the siren is something/somebody who makes you write, want to writespace Explorer with the new self things to write and she is that. She was like that was acting when we were doing acting company together and now she has the same zeal for writing and perhaps that is good, sense we're too old infirmed to be involved in acting scenarios which require any traveling at all since neither of us any longer hold a license to drive.

I'm getting busy again yesterday I had to doctors appointments which pretty much took up my whole day today I have a training in Midtown which again is going to take up a good part of my day I don't know how much I will want to write when I get home. However if you examine parts you can see that I'm throwing up blocks to to keep me from really examining parts of my past. Lori wrote this five page doubles paced account for 12 midnight to three in the morning a couple nights ago and she did it probably one sitting earliest one block of writing time. I mean I can see real writers doing that and I question myself but I have the focus, drive and commitment. I'm afraid the answer is not. Case in point this posting that I'm writing this morning I should've written last night. I started to write this about 10 o'clock Lori popped up on my chat screen. After about an hour we finished our discussions and I went to bed. I could not commit to writing for three hours at that point especially with other commitments I had today but see there it is again an excuse – – a writer writes! I'm a convenient writer, I guess, writing only when everything meets my needs. So embarrassing to write but true

I did not sleep well last night was actually this morning, I woke up early and could not get back to sleep. Not being able to sleep, like what happened last night, I fear might be more than coincidental. Great, now my subconscious is going to hold me hostage. Or maybe it's just the fact that today I have a training that I feel a little bit insecure about which interrupted my sleep or just maybe, maybe maybe I'm building some excitement about the challenge of writing from the Darkside. So yes I'm being challenged but being challenged in the good way.