Chaos And Me

I think I might be a focal point of chaos. I don't mean to be and I don't use this as an excuse for how my life tends to look most of the time but I cannot get away from the fact that chaos seems to court me. Not only chaos but general loss.. From the earliest days that I remember I have been challenged as far as being able to keep things neat, orderly and clean. Of course this manifests itself early in the life of a child by having their toys scattered all about. I was always challenged by my parents to clean up my room which I could never really seem to do right. I just cannot figure out the whole concept of order.

In the second grade when, for the first time, you're allowed to keep things in your desk your expected to keep your desk neat and orderly. My desk was never that way. Chaos reigned beneath the wooden surface. Glue fell over on its side leaked out trapping number two pencils and blunt end scissors Until teacher data inspection, which she did every 4 to 6 weeks where I would get the wrath of the dirty desk. Simply like anything I cannot figure out what to do with got pushed to the back of my desk. Orange crayons from Halloween, toilet paper turkey legs for Thanksgiving all kinds of Christmas candy from the holiday season. Luckily for me following the first of the year the holidays didn't seem so messy. From the first the year forward it was just presidential remains from February, shards of green paper that did not make adequate grasp our flower stems for spring and then it was summer. I wandered through grade school with messy desks and messy scolding's.

Junior high was just as bad with my ever present messy locker. Luckily most of the time the teachers left alone as long as you're able to get your assignments done and have your books ready for class your locker was your own turf. It seems to me they were locker inspections but I don't remember them very well and I always seem to get by. After my wreck and broken neck by locker went from messy to chaos. Lockers are made for people who are able-bodied and not folks in wheelchairs. I kept a few things in my locker mostly stuff I had downloaded a hurry but kept most of my books and stuff in the backpack.

I would love to say things are changed but they have not. My apartment is a mess I need a keeper someone to come in and clean up after me. I don't have an excuse I wish I did but alas I'm a messy person. Though I have to admit even though my apartment is supposedly one for a person to disability my unit is difficult to really live in from a power chair even the manual chair if I used my manual chair that much. I have a pile on my table because I can't find places to stow everything. I can only use the front of a few of my countertops and the same goes for the range. I have a difficult time cooking because I can't get very close to the stove.

I doubt very much will change as I live by myself. Once I can get my finances regulated and I have enough for a housekeeper I will engage one and probably be very happy. I always seem to be happier and things are cleaned and chaos abated.