Letting Go

As far as I'm concerned the sale of my van is a done deal. Jimmy stopped me the other day as I was going to check my mail to let me know Cornell, his nephew who wants to buy my van, has started raising money for the deal. He seems really committed. I'm ready to let the van go. I found selling the Van at first difficult and somewhat threatening. I really did believe, and still do to some degree, owning a vehicle in this culture is a major underlining opinion and being that owning a vehicle and driving, makes a person a valid/credible being. I often have equated owning a vehicle to owning ground in America. But since I got titled solely to me the vehicle a few months ago the van has really is been a bit of an albatross around my neck especially the insurance factor. Gosh that's a lot of money to pay every month for a vehicle I've rarely use. In fact when I went to show the vehicle to Cordell the van was stone dead. We found a set of jumper cables, from Irene thank goodness, it still took us 30 minutes to get the vehicle started. I don't have a driver possibly Mark Anthony, sometimes Jimmy here the apartments, but seriously is not doing me any good except as a part of my personality that is gone.

Letting the vehicle go is just another part of my identity vanishing, I feel. But it's okay. I think that's where I am at. I'm learning to cope with less, much less. Is that not what we all do as we age, what we have to do get by with less? I don't not know if that is a right or wrong supposition. Even when I look around and see homes I pass as I go back and forth to the train station I see junk in many places pouring out of the garages, backyards and even front yards. They're not taking care of their stuff. True they own the property but why?

Cordell is young he is about three years post injury. He lives in Sheridan Wyoming and seems to be a very active paraplegic. I'd be surprised if Cordell is even 25 years old. He loves the van. I do not think there is a way for me to talk him out of the van even if I wanted to. I do not think he is as mechanically oriented as other parents I know but I think Cordell of that rural mentality that does not let anything stop them. And there certainly those around him which can act as a safety net or mechanical system to system if he should need mechanical assistance with the vehicle. I feel pretty comfortable in informing him of issues the vehicle has Jimmy has also pretty much indicated that he feels it's a good vehicle and Jimmy know stuff like that. So I do not believe there any sucker punches that Cordell will experience at least with the vehicle. I hope the two will be very happy.

I hate selling stuff I hate asking for a price and I hate taking money I'm going to do it. I'm going to take the money and put it into a separate account to be used solely for home healthcare. Being self-pay this would assist me with healthcare past the end of the year I think. The cash will certainly take out some the stress that's for sure and remove the white beast from its lonely corner of the parking lot.