Lights On!

new image comming 

It's Wednesday, I really had no commitments today so I just stayed in the apartment pretty much and reclined as much as I could stand to take the weight off my butt. Actually, it's shower day and I think that's a large part of my problem is that my hygiene gets a little bit sketchy on the second day. If I was able to get a shower every day maybe that would clean up my problems. That's not possible and I don't know if I'd want to subject myself to that routine. I've thought about it often on over the past couple months and how I used to shower every morning before I went to work. That was crazy. A large part of that was due to the fact that that was before my catheter time and I slept with just a can next to me during the night and often things would spill forcing me to shower or at least it felt like I needed to shower our risk smelling like a homeless person or person of the disability trying to take care of himself. I literally woke up in the state of depression thinking about my plight with this new power chair. How much more challenging this device is. Fortunately, once I got up into my chair and started cleaning the apartment with the anticipation of my home health person showing up start feeling a little bit better about the whole situation. And as I indicated earlier all day long I've felt a little better with the chair. Right now my biggest issue is getting up in the morning because the back of the chair is configured so significantly different than my traditional chair I don't have anything to hook onto as I make my transfer which makes the whole procedure a little dodgy. I'm having to think through each move each transfer and how I come out of that transfer. I think it's doable and I think once I make contact with Casey my occupational therapist and we can sit down and work through some of those issues I'll be in a much better frame of mind but for a while this morning I was in a deep funk, a major depression, which made me sympathize with previous wives and other folks who deal with major depression all the time. For the first time I begin to understand how they might feel suicide is an option than to live day in and day out with this kind of weight on their heads. I hope I'm able to bounce back as I get more and more comfortable with the power chair and with my body's reaction to the power chair. I really don't have much of a choice it's not like I can drive the chair back to the dealership and say here take your damn piece of equipment back and turn around and walk away. I don't know if I've mentioned the fact I have actual running lights on this chair front and back. Allen, the dude from the shop who delivered the chair and tweaked it to my needs said they threw it in for free. The lights run off the main battery system of the chair and work on a dorky if you ask me but I have to admit kind of fun running around the apartment late at night follow lights out with just the running lights on. The on switch is located on the front part of my chair and is easily the bump in the stuff which automatically turns on the lights. I need to be hypervigilant to make sure those lights arenot on as I can see that running the battery down in quick fashion. However, I must admit their kind a slick…