Just A Another Challenge

The days of turned beautiful! Temperatures are in the 70s but it's windy as yet another storm piles through. Not an issue though it's spring that's what's supposed to happen April showers bring May flowers.

Yesterday was eventful but I think it will even out a lot of the lesser events, at least for right now, last night I had some sort of experience I can't really identify yet, it certainly was not spiritual at least I don't recognize it spiritual as yet, it certainly was not fun but it certainly could be life altering event we'll just have to see. Yesterday being Wednesday of course is my bowel and shower night. No big deal except for it is a big deal because anytime you can have a control bowel movement I deem it is a great deal I sure miss that part of being independent. Same goes for showers anyway Honey was given me my shower last night. As I soap up I had my hand, which I always do, Slid between the grab bar and the wall. Since I do not have gripped I use this to pull myself forward when I need to. Last night when it was time to wash beneath my legs and my butt I leaned forward as always. I still don't know what happened but as I did my body slipped the front of the shower chair pinning my arm between the grab bar and the wall, forcing my arm to take my full body weight. I was terrified! I thought sure this is going to break my arm snap the arm like a toothpick. I screamed out. I was still perched on the edge of the shower chair which was all but tipped over, luckily the shower chair was still bearing a great deal of my weight. I was afraid that when I slipped, and I was going to slip one way or the other, that would be the end of my arm. I also knew that the precarious position I was in was going to put pressure on my legs to spasm at some point which are also be terrific.

I was in great pain and fear. Poor little Honey was great doing whatever she could to alleviate my agitation. Honey spent some time trying to lift me to ease the pressure on my pinned on but to no avail. We had to notify somebody but she is afraid to let go, and. I Was afraid for her to let me go, she did not have a cell phone with her and mine was not near by either. She did grab a number of towels rolled them up and wedge them beneath me which really helped preventing me slide further. But I seemed relatively safe she let go of me and sprinted and pulled the emergency cord to the bedroom. I knew that that would be sort of useless but she did what she felt was best. I center down to the resident advisers apartment To get Jimmy. I have great faith Jimmy but no one answered the door obviously gone. She came back and dialed 911. I told her not to earlier stressed by pain and fear and thinking Jimmy could handle the situation but now I was so desperate. She dialed 911 which was tragically hilarious. I mean I I know I have been an operator, not a 911 operator but I still understand procedures and following a script but when someone is screaming in pain needing assistance I don't think that's the time to play 20 questions. And that's what seem to be going on with me. 20 questions I don't know when they dispatched the emergency crew but I was passed over to another person who proceeded in going through this institutional dialogue that was more aimed at somebody in a crisis situation like suicide than someone hanging from the arm in the bathroom.

In what seemed an eternity the paramedics finally arrived. There almost was an immediate next batch of 20 questions but finally they got to work. I think for a one time were in the past room trying to get me off the floor. They were great. They were great trying to find something the slip around me to lift me up at the same time lubricate my arm to try to get from its pinned positioned. Finally the arm is free. The lower part of my arm to my hand is quite sensible bloody gotten through and felt as though the arm was asleep. Now I think nerve damage has been done. Aside from my arm I felt okay little stressed maybe a little shocky because of the fear I had experienced but I was settling back down. I kept trying to shake the sleep out of my hand and arm but I figure that would come. The boys to me back in my shower chair and Honey and I finished the shower she got me back in my power chair. One heck of an evening. My arm still felt goosy all the rest of the night and in fact still does to a certain degree. I was able to get to bed last evening without incident by myself and this morning I got up by myself and dressed and had breakfast so doing okay. I just have to get to this point and If my hand and arm does not come back well so be it. I know I can get by. However, I do intend to keep an eye on it and it looks like there's some real issues going on and going to speak with either my OT or my doc to see if there are steps that we need to take.

I woke up around 3 AM this morning cannot get back to sleep. I'd had a weird dream that I think was directly related to my incident. So I've experienced some trauma psychological stress of some sort. Hopefully this won't be a pattern I think I'll be all right putting my arm well comeback . I tend to survive and move forward that's what I tend to do best.