I
really believe we get the same test over and over throughout our
lives. And I think it's more than one test I think there are many
many challenges that are thrown at us and what we do with those has
something to do with I would progress through this veil of tears.
Saturday
morning, I'm feeling fairly good because my cleaning person said she
was coming over today, she'd missed yesterday and I was a little
worried about her. Gail is a little older than I am couple years she
said freely good health I would not say she's frail but this weather
is so bizarre that I become concerned when I don't hear from her on a
regular basis are least when she usually planned something she
follows through. Friday is the typical day she comes to do the
apartment but yesterday was a no-show and there was no contacts that
I could see. But Gail text literally to say that should be over later
in the afternoon. I also felt fairly good because I had been able to
keep the apartment fairly shipshape over the preceding week which is
kind of a rarity. I was going to try to have a focus on some of the
other parts of the apartment maybe the bathroom this week.
Like
I said it's Saturday morning and I was somewhat excited to get over
to the food bank for whatever options might be there for me this
week. I missed last week due to the mini -family reunion. I made one
of my very special breakfasts this morning which took a lot of time
which helped me get to the time for food bank. I use my new flat
bottomed wok and things are great. There was a bigger line and I
would like at food bank that the same old faces just on different
bodies. True to form, I got behind a somewhat stylish, down on his
luck Christian. I really didn't quite know how to read the guy except
for one cannot make many comments before he started coming on born
again, give everything over to Jesus who saved my soul persona.
Behind me (which I did not first notice possibly because she wasn't
there when I first got in line) but was a interesting hard of
hearing/semi-death, is that redundant?, Person who seemed really
interested in conversing. This person communicated verbally and
instantly I could tell me where. The three of us communicated a
little bit or tried to waiting for the doorbell ring and the line to
move forward. The hard of hearing woman was a mother who seem to be
living on her own and when quizzed said that she had always been
denied services in state and federal programs. This is part of the
reason my Spidey senses begin tingling. I could sense there's a lot
more to the story that she was telling me. And she was setting major
hooks for me to bite onto. So she could reel me and be taken care of
our get services. I backed away emotionally and somewhat physically.
I did tell her about the DD Council as well as Utah's disability Law
Center. She of course did not write anything nor did I volunteer to
writing things down our figure out a way to get information to her
and that's the lesson. I most likely was supposed to do just that.
She was my test. She was the Pharisee laying on the side of the road
and I was the Samaritan but I wasn't very damn good. I just couldn't
get involved that sounds cold and typical and selfish as hell but by
Spidey senses were screaming at me to back away and that this was a
walking bucket of trouble.
I
hope that she will remember at least the names of the organizations I
suggested she contact, but I know that she will not. She's one of
those that needed to be led by the hand as she totally consumed them
and probably spent them out when they would do everything for her.
Cynical, I know but right now I know my limits and go to stick to
those limits. You know why? Because I know I'm going get the test
again probably soon one or the other and maybe I'll do better next…
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