I'm
learning a skill set later in life you don't know how useful it is to
me but I do notice I've picked up a skill which I don't know is good
or bad. We don't want to say the skills is indifference or apathy or
maybe I've just been worn down by my silly drawing class..
This
morning seem to go pretty smooth. I woke about 530 and remembered it
was a class day and finally got up around 6 AM. I made it to class
with a half an hour to spare waiting with other class members in the
hallway until Brendan got there open up the classroom. Brendan went
right to work pulling things out of the closet to draw more spheres,
rectangles, octagon's, pyramids etc. today we were/are working on
working with charcoals. I knew this was to be the course but didn't
think too deeply into it had I done so I would not of worn white
shorts. Brendan went right to work making beautiful objects just like
that.. He treated his paper by casually making charcoal swatches all
over then blended altogether into a light gray I was envious. This
guy loves to draw it is so obvious and I am so envious.
I
don't think I'm really dejected but I'm something. I don't think I'm
depressed either I think I'm just bummed out that I cannot seem to
come to grips (excuse the pun) of being able to even reach the
tablet are papers to even draw. I'm just amazed at how well the other
kids in class take to this drawing stuff Brendan has a do. They make
beautiful pieces. I eventually launch into the project we are
supposed to choose three of the many are multiple objects to draw. I
picked a sphere into pyramids, the pyramids one in front of the
other. Brendan has light set up all over the area the overhead lights
are turned down in the spotlights are on and I eventually go to town.
I try to make the marks on my paper and I do but they're not
gloriously smooth in flowing like Brendan's , Nico's and everybody
else's except mine. We were advised strongly to get a shammy's cloth
in order to blend the charcoals on the paper. I actually left the
classroom when all the way over to the student union and couldn't
find the shammy. Finally the manager of the school store went into
the back room and came out with a cloth used to wipe computer screens
perfectly for what I needed.
Back
in the sweatshop/drawing room/I jumped in my project to try to use
the protractor but allows that to weird and angle to get up all our
circle drawn. So I elected inscribed the circles best I could with my
left hand what a joke. I think I did a cardinal sin and blending
charcoals I just can't get in a darker and darker field. You could
see that I had ball on my paper somewhere but its true dimensions
almost gone. The triangles came out okay but once again I feel very
fragile and weak about what I've put together so far. By the in the
class. I'm sort of making false moves like I'm working on my project.
I have not called once on Brendan to come over and evaluate my
progress are to ask for tips. Not that I'm ashamed it's the apathy I
talked about in the first paragraph. I don't care this is about as
good as I'm going to do in this class. In the class. On Tuesday which
Britain is already said he will use to work on this drawing. He said
he does not want us to work on it at home that he wants it to be
alive piece drawing. Well since I'm auditing he cannot flunk me not
technically. You certainly give me a call after where I'm sure and as
probably as good as a dunce hat sitting in the corner. But I'm going
to show up do more play like I'm working on my.project for the whole
class. In turn in my work and motor out of the class but I'll
remember to wear black shorts…'
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