Darkness

If I thought about it very much I could really get freaked out about the big earthquake that supposed to hit Utah at some point in time. The earthquake that I went through yesterday is a stark example of not knowing when and where something like this can happen. Also this was a relatively minor event. Again as a person with a disability, one who relies on a power chair, would be dead in the water if walls came tumbling down, floors get buckled and more importantly power goes off and could not charge my chair, operate my bed and lose all my frozen food and stuff in the refrigerator. So, I'm trying not to think about the consequences of a major environmental event.

But not thinking about this is like a person with a toothache. It's not wise to tease the tooth with your tongue because that causes pain but you continue to do that than with hopes the pain might go away and it's just a mistake. That's what I do anyway so my mind keeps playing with the idea that if a major event were to happen an hour to survive the initial assault I would somehow be able to make it. However, I would not, I could not. If I couldn't get somewhere in my power chair I doubt I would get to where I needed to go. Your normal person would not be able to carry me. Even if I had my manual chair available (right now both tires are flat) quite frankly I would have a challenge pushing the chair on a regular flat surface that alone a broken surface. Someone have to push me or drag me or lift me along the way to get me to the next station.

Boy, this is dark, I really want to be hopeful I really want things to go back to normal but things are changing so quickly and so completely that I think all of us can no longer build enough defenses against having to accept what the new normal is going to be. Mind you, for the most part of this blog posting I'm talking about just the physical reality of me, Mark Smith quadriplegic, add on top of that the new normal of the virus and the many waves of change that pebble in the pond has established and things really look weird. I could take the naturalistic view of saying the earth is just trying to adjust to the population that has the misfortune to host at this point in time. So because I can't stand being this pessimistic I'm going to have to say things may be bad, things may get worse but I'm a true believer that things will get better. Maybe not for me and other people with significant disabilities and people who are aged but they will get better. I believe the species as a whole will step forward and evolve into a stronger communal entity. Hopefully we will take these harsh examples and lessons of our need to change and take them to the next step. …