Authenticity

I didn't post yesterday. I tried to force something, make something up just to fill up space just so I would have something to post. I don't like that that's cheap, insincere and fake. Not that I'm the most authentic individual on earth I'm not, way far from that but at the same time I don't want to publish junk just for junk sake. Perhaps the problem yesterday was that when I went to write the blog I was exhausted in fact does exhausted all day. I woke about 3:30 AM and tried to get back to sleep after draining. I sort of got back to sleep a little but not much which dogged me the rest of the day. Maybe but I try to blog early in the day I could've made the effort more authentically but still at that point I really had nothing to write. The most interesting part of my day was time spent with Lori and writing about that did not seem appropriate.

This morning I woke up almost to the minute the same time I did yesterday morning which kind of shocked me. Waking at this time also freaked me out a little because I did not want to get in the habit of this which it already felt like. Granted, I just finished the article in the New Yorker talking about time perception and how every molecule of the body has a clock inside the body tied to the rest of the molecules and wondered what the heck is happening to my molecules?This morning however I was able to force myself back to sleep eventually getting up around 8 o'clock which I never sleep in that long but I'm glad I did I'm feeling much better today than yesterday.

Today feels like fall, really fall. The skies overcast there's cool wind blowing and I almost feel that I made a mistake wearing shorts today. However, the coolness I doubt will last. We will have heat return I am sure .However the meantime, I feel like I need a project. I've been collecting the number of bottles, plastic bottles that my vitamins and supplements of come in. The nice little bottles work very well as skin retractors for pushing the penal skin back to expose the glands meatus So that I can insert my catheter to drain.It is a shame to throw these bottles away and I would love to be able to cut them down easier than I am right now with a kind of hack saw. It's just a very arduous process. So I'm thinking of getting another dremel like tool, A high-speed rotary tool. The cutting blade on this type of instrument would easily slice the plastic bottles plus be a lot of fun to work with. I could also use the tool to do some woodworking and even do some metalworking if I wanted to. The only drawback is using the device. I always forget that one has to use a small hand wrench to loosen and tighten the blades on the rotary device or a small screwdriver to attach the blades to the rotary spindle. This is cause me major frustration in the past. Therefore I use caution in ordering yet another device. In fact I have a couple in the garage at house I own with Dianne. Just giving them would be a challenge. Those devices I have struggled with. I think I am going to get something though to make this job easier.