Duby

This picture of my birth mother, Duby. For some reason I thought the spelling was Doobie like the brothers. I thought this is a new name for me actually but when I went back and checked my mother's are grandmothers Journal/history I saw the name written there as we. I don't know why it never registered with me but there it was big is Dallas Duby. I only have this image now due to the good works of my “new” sister-in-law Carla who diligently acquired this information and preserved the documentation. She is done a monumental job which I believe I have documented to some extent already in this blog.

It's strange to me to look at this black and white photo that has a date of 1953 scribbled at the bottom. Theoretically this photo was taken two years after my birth but now there's beginning to be some question as to my actual birthdate. I must say this has left is somewhat flummoxed as this familial rabbit hole just gets deeper and deeper. Luckily I have a birth certificate that says 1951 is my birthdate I'm going to stick to that. I was talking to someone a couple days ago who was suggesting that my birth year might be 1952 and possibly as late of 1953. I can't accept that however as desirable as that might be, knocking off a couple years of my age. That would be great but I don't think so. Not that I doubt that mother Maurine, my adoptive mother could've figured out a way to change the dates, after all she managed to adopt me as a single mother and Boise Idaho in the early 50s. That was one hell of a hat trick. There's also the case of how I fit in with my cousins with whom I was fairly close at the time. I fit quite nicely between Janus and Leah as well as my “twin” cousin Mike who supposedly was born on the same day as me. Still though just more weirdness on top of all the other weirdness. Seriously my life fits right in their with something from the X-Files or Area 51.

I looked at the photo closely trying to see part of me in there and somehow I kind of do. I don't know if it's the sadness behind the eyes or what. I wish I had a a clearer image that show the whole body. She just looks so alone and lonely. Oddly identify with the look, I seem to understand a little the feeling she seems to be radiating across time. I wonder if somehow I have been able to make contact with her in later life what we would've talked about. I think I would've asked her not necessarily why she gave me out (or the rest of the brothers and sisters) but what was her lifelike. Before her parents like in her childhood and what had been her goals and dreams had she had any. I would really like to of seeing if any of her nuances and issues or problems were passed down to me in one form or another. I wonder if we would been friends. I wonder she had issues with bonding and maybe that was why we kids were so easily given up, if we were easily given up.

I doubt I will ever know these things however my sister-in-law says that she was able to retrieve quite a bit of data when they cleaned out the home where Duby lived before she died . Again it was the boxes of records that Carla was able to find and then do the copious research to bring to light the information that led to revelation of this extended family! Maybe, there is a journal somewhere in the boxes (I hope there are boxes) which might shed more light on this fountainhead.