Conspiracy Theory

Somewhere back there and back issues of this blog I've rattle on about feeling my history is erasing itself. I've written about my grade school Campus School has either been torn down or converted into more office space for the University. The junior high and went to: East Junior High has been torn down, I can find no record of having worked in the clinic system in Nampa Idaho in the early 70s (which was a major part of my life), my office with the State was eliminated and on and on.

This morning I got sidetracked early on right after my home health person left around 8:30 AM. I was on the phone with my older sister Irene who must be at least 15 years older than I am. I figured if anybody would've known anything about my childhood, early childhood it might be Irene. However, aside from having a great conversation with the big sister, the call did not field out any information that I could use in my quest to find out who I really am. Couple days ago Fast Eddie(My newly minted little brother as of this summer. I just gave him the name Fast Eddie Because I thought it sounded good. Eddie's not fast, Eddie's methodical Fast Eddie had a career in law enforcement, he is a detective he knows his way around. Anyway, Eddie's done some real work on this whole family thing. He sent me a document I assume written by my birth mother cataloging the births of my siblings. I think Eddie when he sent me the scan and looked at the document briefly with some interest and then look to see where I fit in and suddenly realized I was not on this document! Actually I might be on the document but if I am that would mean the birthdate that I've celebrated for the last 68 years would be wrong. The document shows, and handwriting by my birth mother, that there is a birth around February 6, 1950 and then another delivery looks to have been around February 4, 1952! My birthday as far as the mythology goes now was February 2, 1951. I'm so confused. The best case scenario and I don't know if it's a best case are not but I'm either a year younger than I think I am (yeah!) Or I'm a year older (crap!! Times infinity). I kind of would like to know. After all it really doesn't mean anything I guess except for something's not right in the mythology of my life and that really is somewhat disconcerting.

So, I was asking my sister if she knew anything about how I was adopted. I was actually adopted before blending into her family, and I knew that, I just wanted to see if she knew anything and had been sworn to secrecy. My mom was great In developing small familial conspiracies. Supposedly, was born on February 2, 1951, I have a cousin born on February 2, 1951. I have images of us sharing the same birthday parties. We were sort of the family oddity, cute but still somewhat odd. How did mom get the whole family to go together this conspiracy? If I was born in 1950 or even 1952. It would been hard to do the whole cousin Mikey thing. There is the possibility of making contact with my aunt Elaine who is quite elderly at this point but I feel her mind is still focused and sharp. I just don't know how much she wants to communicate with me anymore… Don't know why but just the feeling that I've gotten. And who knows how far this conspiracy goes. When bulimic contact with my cousin the “twin” Mikey. I doubt that he knows anything and if he did I don't know if he would tell me. I can talk to my cousin Leah she still alive and fairly focused. My new sister-in-law, Carla still sitting on a trove of information harvested from the home of my deceased father for I think the document posted here came from.

I love a great conspiracy just not when it involves me directly. Unlike my sister said this morning I still have two great families! And I seem to be loved by both within limits. (I was kind of a pill when I was younger… I still am). So it really doesn't make any difference I am here now fully rooted in this reality for however long I don't know… :-)