Anxious

 I felt anxious as I woke this morning, early because it's a home health day. Monday after a long weekend. I don't know if the weekend is why I'm feeling anxious or maybe the anxiety could be from the seemingly twinges pain I have been sensing my butt. I'm deathly frightened of skin breakdown. The tweaks of pain that I've sensed are fleeting and minimal and starts My mind churning all kinds of sad scenarios that could be happening but never seem to have any relevance the time I get up. Even on a day when am lucky enough to have home health in to give me a shower and I have my person look at my but and she always says I look okay she sees no skin breakdown or even any reddening of the skin. I'm okay and I take off and have a great day. I know I've babbled before about my propensity towards histrionic behaviors, Sometimes I swear I'm is neurotic is Woody Allen and that's a pretty big putdown. But I sure understand the feeling that whole life is against you just waiting for you to mess up so I can swoop in and put you down. I ask you stinken-thinken? However still I'm going to remain hypervigilant regarding my skin. Last night the cool wind blew in my window. Not cool like the summer cool wind that gently cools one down during the late night hours of a hot sticky night of summer know, this wind carried with it the sure feeling of impending autumn. The wind is not cold enough to suffer and wish I had my other blanket on the bad. I did burrow down in the pillows and comforter I do have on the bed and was quite comfortable. Some is gone though I can tell. I can feel the change and what's more I noticed yesterday afternoon the figure ground effects of changing the sun looks different and shines differently now the evenings come quicker in the mornings later. I don't notice the changes much in the morning but in the evening the sun hits the trees differently. I cannot rightly describe the change and look of the evening sun but it's definitely different and definitely autumn. We definitely have a whole month of August to complete which is actually nearly half over and then three weeks in the September and December will be gone. I sigh a little bit to see another season gone but I feel somewhat encouraged still enjoying the fact that I took a class at the community college and enjoyed the experience and might even take another. I'm struggling to make the decision I don't know if I really want to get myself hosed into two days a week of humping my art equipment down to the college. Doing this over the summer was excitingly new but I can see how this might get old for the long fall semester that gets out 12 December that's a lot of weeks. Anyway, obviously have things to think about and things perseverate over and all kinds of things to worry about…